They're just not that into me...yet

April 3, 2008 5:48 PM

How do I say 'Thanks, no really!' after an unsuccessful job interview, without looking like the needy girl whose long-time crush has blown her out after one date?

Three weeks ago I had an interview for a senior media position at a museum I really love. I've only been working in the sector for a year and I knew I wasn't a strong candidate for it but as it was such a one-off I did the application anyhow so I wouldn't regret NOT going for it. I was amazed and thrilled to get an interview, but then pretty much nobbled my chances through paranoia and over-thinking. I did loads of research but flaked out on getting my portfolio up-to-scratch because I knew I didn't have the kind of stuff they wanted to see. I was jumpy and star-struck during the interview and so convinced that I was punching way above my weight that I was nowhere near my usual organised, professional, 'I'm SO the gal for this post and here's WHY!' self in that situation. So I was disappointed, but not surprised when I got the HR email today saying I'd been unsuccessful.

But good stuff came of it. I was really inspired by the interviewer and got confirmation on the kind of work I'd love to be doing. I had a good hard look at my current skill set, and where I need to do some development. I've since been reading up on the field, trying things out in my current job, and I've booked onto a course to brush up on skills. I'm feeling really excited and motivated about next steps. I'd like to think that in a year or so I'd be up-to-speed and ready to go in that sort of role. I'm worried though that I've burnt my bridges there, and that this will overshadow my application for any future job to which I might be better suited.

I'm going to take their HR person up on the offer of feedback, but I'd also like to write a short email directly to the interviewer along the lines of 'thank you for seeing me, I realised I wasn't right for the job but it really inspired me to work on my skills, all the best for the new team, etc'. However, because I didn't even get a second interview, I'm a bit worried that this will seem gushy/sucky or arrogant, or (possibly worse) like a cookie-cutter response. I do genuinely mean it though, and I think I could be a good employee for the organisation at some point in the future, so the last thing I want to do is annoy them/him.

So, hive mind, any ideas on how to approach this/what to say? Feel free to mail if personal anecdotes are too toe-curling to reveal in public!

posted by freya_lamb to work & money (14 comments total)

You gushed it fairly effectively here. Say that you accept their rejection and you appreciate that it let you have a chance to break past your previous bonds. I had a similar experience with MIT, honestly.
posted by LSK at 5:53 PM on April 3, 2008

words are not my strongest skill so I'll leave that to someone else but I would suggest sending a nice card or letter rather than an email as it is a more personal. and I think you should definitely follow up with them as you have nothing lose--it's doubtful that a polite note of appreciation would be cookie-cutter(no one does this!) or perceived as arrogant.
posted by beckish at 5:54 PM on April 3, 2008

In my current position, I have to fill in as the HR person and do a lot of the interviewing and hiring, so the best advice I have for you is to write the email and be sincere. Don't suck up, but be gracious, and the sincerity should show. It's usually pretty easy to tell when someone is being genuine after a job interview or not, and assuming you weren't horrendous at the interview I'm sure they would be happy to bring you back at a later date. Good help is hard to find, and motivated and sincere help is even harder to find - so I say (at the risk of sounding cliched) just write something to the point and from the heart and you should be fine.

Like LSK said above, you did pretty well writing the paragraph above, so just convey that same enthusiasm and graciousness in your letter.
posted by rooftop secrets at 6:00 PM on April 3, 2008

Don't suck up, but be gracious, and the sincerity should show. It's usually pretty easy to tell when someone is being genuine after a job interview or not.

This is so very true, and excellent advice.

Just write a note (email or letter) and explain like what you did in the question - which came across as both articulate and focused. Then make sure to follow through with your intentions. People who show continued growth and can continue to learn from their experiences, bad or good, are always my favorite candidates. I doubt you burned your bridges.

Good luck!
posted by gemmy at 6:31 PM on April 3, 2008

If it's common courtesy in your field, then you ought to- with sincerity and professionalism. But, If it's not, you shouldn't bother . It will come off as sulky. Why do you think it should matter to them either way on your personal development? do you want them to keep you in mind for the future? It's not necessary in that case. What do you mean by this overshadowing your future applications? outside of your own mind (fear of failure) this should have no bearing on your future endeavors. So long as you keep improving yourself. If you are still in the market try to find a job that is a good precursor to this one. In a year or two, when your resume has some more heft, you can simply reapply. Chances are They will have changed personnel and their HR won't even remember you. If you do reply, Keep it detached and professional.
posted by Student of Man at 6:58 PM on April 3, 2008

they've got this thing now called the telephone. you should give that a try. if you really really think you're not qualified for a job, you have no boundaries here. dial that thing.

ask everybody you can whatever you can about the business you so clearly dig.
posted by stubby phillips at 7:54 PM on April 3, 2008

All the above advice about a note or an e-mail is good.

In the past I interviewed with a woman who told me flat-out that she couldn't give me a job then, with my qualifications. But we kept in touch, and I kept her up to date on my progress, and when a job did open up that was right for me, she called me and asked if I was interested. I worked for her for a good while.

So it can't hurt to send out that note and/or e-mail, and it may even help you in the future. Keeping in touch with people in your field is a good idea, and you wouldn't have gotten the interview at all if the folks at the museum didn't see some potential in you.
posted by brina at 8:15 PM on April 3, 2008

I was really inspired by the interviewer and got confirmation on the kind of work I'd love to be doing. I had a good hard look at my current skill set, and where I need to do some development. I've since been reading up on the field, trying things out in my current job, and I've booked onto a course to brush up on skills. I'm feeling really excited and motivated about next steps. I'd like to think that in a year or so I'd be up-to-speed and ready to go in that sort of role.

This sounds about perfect to me.

In my experience people love enthusiasm (and I'm very very enthusiastic), particularly when it's sincere and backed with genuine knowledge and effort. The love that you obviously have for your profession and chosen career path will open doors for you, particularly when you're able to team it with that put-together person you didn't quite manage to take along this time. What you've written here isn't gushy or over the top and it comes across as being both real and thoughtful. I like that you're not just airy fairy good feeling but definite plans and procedures, it shows the more organised, professional side of you.

And wouldn't you be happy to get a similar note one day, knowing how you helped and inspired someone?
posted by shelleycat at 11:03 PM on April 3, 2008

Here’s my stab at a letter (snail mail, your name and address on the upper right)

Date



Mr./Ms. Interviewer
XYZ Museum
Address
City, State Zip

Dear Mr./Ms. Interviewer,

Thank you for the opportunity to meet with you on (date) to discuss my qualifications for the position of (job title). I was sorry to hear that I was not chosen for the position; however, I am grateful for the opportunity to re-assess my skills in (field of work) and would appreciate your feedback.

Since our talk, I have implemented (xyz) at my current job, and have enrolled in a course on (course title) to improve my skill set.

Our discussion made me realize that I truly love the field of media, and you inspired me to take the above steps with your insights.

I may be reached at (phone number) or via email at (email address) to further discuss ways you think I can broaden my experience and skills, in order to be considered an asset to (museum name) in the future.

Again, thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,



Freya_lamb

(Have two people proofread the letter, don’t forget to sign it, then follow up in 2-3 weeks via phone if you don’t hear from them)

Good for you and your positive attitude and best of luck!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 2:33 AM on April 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think the boilerplate response I learned in college is "..and please feel free to contact me if any further opportunities open up in your (business | department | area)." It's pretty common to interview at a company but later be offered or called back to interview for a different job.
posted by mikeh at 7:36 AM on April 4, 2008

Hi, thanks all for your answers. On review think there may be a slight cultural difference between US and UK type recruitment, or maybe it's just that this sector is more informal generally, but I think very formal letters and hand-written notes wouldn't go down too well. Brits tend to be rather (over?)sensitive about people making what is seen to be a big deal about something that's done with, and especially about drawing extra attention to themselves after the event. Subtlety is the key, which is why I was asking the question about what to say.

Chances are They will have changed personnel and their HR won't even remember you

HR won't, but the man interviewing me has been there 15+ years and probably isn't leaving any time soon. People stick around a looooong time in museums!

But thanks for the support anyhow, it helped. I emailed the person who contacted me with the news and asked them to pass on my thanks and best wishes to the interviewers. As a few people said I guess I just have to mark this one down to experience and work towards doing much better next time if the opportunity arises.
posted by freya_lamb at 10:46 AM on April 4, 2008

Brits tend to be rather (over?)sensitive about people making what is seen to be a big deal about something that's done with, and especially about drawing extra attention to themselves after the event.

FWIW, New Zealand is very similar and I always cringe when I see people recommending sending thank you notes after job interviews. That would never fly here. But the sentiments you expressed still didn't come across as gushy to me, just as someone enthusiastic and passionate about their job. I assume that museum work is similar to my field (non-industry-based research science): there's a strong altruistic aspect to what we do, we don't make huge amounts of money, it takes a fair bit of commitment and education to break into, and usually has requirements for ongoing professional development. Plus the skillsets we have can often be used in related areas that make more money (e.g. I could be a technical sales person earning squillions by now). This tends to attract people who do it because they love it and see value in the service they provide, and thus passion and drive generally go down well.

So I hope that when you talk to someone about feedback from the interview you manage to pass on the sentiments that I highlighted previously. It should be a chance for you to give them feedback about the interview too, and letting them know that you've been motivated to develop yourself and your skills will be useful for them to hear. Think of it as doing them a favour if that helps.

If you've already done the feedback thing but haven't contacted the interviewer directly then it's still possible to send an informal email (and I agree that that's about the right level of effort/formality) letting them know how helpful the experience was for you and that you'd like them to keep you in mind if something else comes up. Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone a little bit to build professional networks.

And even if you don't follow up on this one now, you've got the right attitude and the extra work you're putting in will pay off. So it's all good really.
posted by shelleycat at 6:34 PM on April 4, 2008

Hi all, I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this but I took the advice above and lo and behold, a month later the HR person got in touch to say the interviewer had passed my CV back to her and suggested she get in touch about other opportunities with them. I'm off to see her this week, so we'll see what transpires!

Thanks all :)
posted by freya_lamb at 3:18 PM on May 2, 2008

Awesome! I think networking is really scary and hard, so it's great to see it paying off. Good luck!
posted by shelleycat at 5:29 PM on May 2, 2008