No! Color in the coloring book, not on Mommy's manuscript!

March 14, 2008 8:01 PM

Toddlers and copyediting do not mix. Help me figure out childcare.

My husband and I have a (sweet, clever, rambunctious) 2-year-old daughter. For the past year, she went to a wonderful babysitter three days a week while I worked part time. Now I've lost my job and my babysitter (laid off from the job, and the babysitter found better-paying work--not babysitting). I'm pregnant again, due in August, and have decided not to look for a permanent job, since I plan to stay home with the new baby for a while.

Luckily, I can get freelance work in my field and work from home but, as with most freelance, it can be a little erratic. Some weeks I might not get anything. Other times I'll have a big project with a short deadline and have to work long hours to get it done. I'd love to have a steady stream of 30-hour projects coming in on a regular basis, but that's just not the way this business works.

My question is: How can I organize childcare that works with an irregular work schedule? I don't make so much per hour that I feel like I can afford to pay for too many hours of daycare when I'm not working. But when the big projects come in I'm really stuck if I don't have a babysitter booked. I just can't work for more than 15 minutes without being interrupted, and when I try I feel guilty for parking her in front of "Elmo TV". The girl *loved* going to her babysitter, where there were two other kids to play with and lots of toys and activities. I want her to have that opportunity, but I just can't see myself ferrying her around to a bunch of playdates. I'm not the kind of mom who likes nothing better than getting down in the sandbox or breaking out the finger paints, either. We'll both be happier if she has some playtime while I have some work time.

We've thought about hiring a "mother's helper" to come to the house part time. Since I'll be home, too, we could probably go with a student or someone less experienced and not have to worry so much. But mornings are my best work times, and I'd guess most students would be in class then. My concern about hiring someone directly is that the arrangement I really want -- being able to expand and contract hours at need -- doesn't seem very fair to them, and they could be in a tight spot if they're counting on a certain salary to pay the rent and only have the one client (me).

Maybe a home daycare is the way to go, but the few I've checked out via Craigslist seem kind of skeevy, to be honest. There must be good ones, but I don't know how to find places with openings, or if they would have the flexibility I need. I don't think she needs or wants the heavy structure of a big, preschool-style center, and the one place I checked out doesn't do part days anyway.

And, of course, we want someone loving and trustworthy who will care for our little girl and have fun with her. Come August, everything changes. We just need to hold it together for five months without going crazy.

Are there options I haven't thought of? Has anyone out there successfully figured out freelance-friendly childcare? Specific tips about how to go about finding the right provider and how much we should expect to pay are also welcome. We're in the northern suburbs of Boston, if it matters.

posted by libraryhead to work & money (14 comments total)

Hello, me. Here's what I do: I have a sitter come every Monday. If I'm working, I work; if I don't have a paying job, there's always other stuff for me to do. I work on weekends, and, if need be, weekends, when my husband can look after the kids. I work during nap time (for the toddler), quiet time (for the preschooler), and screen time.

There's also such a thing as drop-in preschool. We tried Trettin, in Seattle. (It didn't work for us, but that wasn't the school's fault.) Maybe you could find something like that in your area.

Our current sitter is also a mom, and she brings her son with her. I found her on sittercity.com. I don't recommend hiring a sitter from craigslist -- I've tried many times, never with great results (for example, there was the time I accidentally hired a hooker to look after my kids).

I try to be sane when it comes to accepting work. I know the urge with freelancers it to always accept any work offered, but I've had to calm down a little.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:13 PM on March 14 [1 favorite]

(Please ignore all those unprofessional mistakes above, one freelancer to another...)
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:16 PM on March 14

Don't be so sure most students will be in class in the AM. When I was an undergrad, classes were scheduled so (generally speaking) lower-div classes were in the AM, upper-div in the PM, and grad classes in the late afternoon and evening. Plus some students go out of their way to schedule classes on only 2 or 3 days a week. It was not at all uncommon for juniors or seniors to have jobs in the morning or on their off days. If you can find one you like who has a schedule that meshes with yours, you're in business.
posted by katemonster at 8:37 PM on March 14

Do you know other freelancers (or people in a similar situation or with a similar schedule, etc.) who are parents? You could work out some sort of co-op/exchange where you trade sitting hours between you.
posted by winston at 8:40 PM on March 14

there was the time I accidentally hired a hooker to look after my kids

Sweet fancy Jesus, that's a story I would love to hear. Metachat?
posted by scody at 8:43 PM on March 14 [1 favorite]

I've got a preschooler and a baby. Here's what I do:
* Two days a week, the preschooler is in a "pre-preschool" program for 2 hours at the local community centre. This is for 2-year-olds (and three-year-olds not yet old enough for daycare). There are 2 caregivers for 12 kids, but it is parent participation and there are always at least 2 parents there, if not 5 or 6. While my preschooler is there, I go for a walk and do some shopping while the baby falls asleep in the stroller. Then I can do some work at the coffee shop or library for an hour or hour and a half. Or sometimes I network (ie have coffee with the other parents, who are also professionals).
* In the afternoon, the preschooler has quiet time and some TV time (one hour max per day). When the baby is sleeping, I do some work.
* When my husband is home at night -- and the kids are in bed, like now -- I try to work for an hour or two.
*I hired someone to come clean my house once a week.
* I have started subcontracting more simple assignments. I bill out at a much higher hourly rate than I pay. I thus make money when I am not working.
* I started a blog and wrote some ebooks. These make money when I am not working.

If your community centre doesn't have a "pre-preschool" program, they might have some other sort of program where you can drop off your two-year-old for an hour.

Oh, and I cranked up my hourly rate. I don't know what you charge, but you could probably charge more. Women, especially those in communications/writing, tend to undervalue their services. My profile has a link to a post on setting consulting fees. But, really, you can probably charge more than you do. Feel free to send me a message if you want to discuss this point!
posted by acoutu at 9:02 PM on March 14 [1 favorite]

** Er, I said "not old enough for daycare" up there, but I meant "old enough for preschool".
posted by acoutu at 9:27 PM on March 14

By your profile, you're in Massachusetts. This link says that you can get referrals from the Department of Early Education and Childcare or by calling 1-800-345-0131. Can't hurt to call around & see what's out there. Also, if she's 2 now, is it possible she might be ready for preschool by the fall?
posted by mogget at 9:31 PM on March 14

Look for Mothers' Day Out programs (MDO). They are often offered through the early childhood ed. programs at local churches. Despite being church-oriented, they are light on the Jesus Talk and heavy on the art projects and socialization.

My daughter started attending a MDO program in St. Louis when she was a year and a half old. It met only one day a week. She is three now, and we live in a different state, but she goes a couple of days per week. It is $11 per half day or $26 for a full day + lunch. I think this is very reasonable.

All of these programs are enrolling RIGHT NOW for fall, so hurry if you want to have her in something by August. As I found out when I was looking for MDO programs, ALL of the good ones have massive waiting lists.

If those don't work, you could try The Goddard School, The Petite Academy, Primrose School, Montessori, etc. These are more expensive ($1000+ per month full time) but many of them offer part-time care as well.

You may also see about getting involved in your local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group and see if you can arrange some co-op babysitting.

Then there is also sittercity.com for spur-of-the-moment needs.
posted by Ostara at 10:05 PM on March 14

Maybe there is a mother that you know who is home full-time and would like to earn some extra money taking your child into her home (along her own kid/kids). If the kids get along, it wouldn't be too much extra work for her. Since it doesn't disrupt her routine too much, she might be willing to very flexible from one week to the next. I did this for after school care twice a week when my children were in parent participation elementary schools so I met alot of very nice stay-at-home moms who were happy to earn a little extra money. Downside is that I don't think it would work a newborn - they are just so much more demanding.

I also tried hiring community college students but they needed to earn a certain amount and usually only lasted about six months until their schedule changed, they took a better paying job or they graduated.
posted by metahawk at 10:34 PM on March 14

Get to know the other stay-at-home parents in your neighborhood and find a few who would be willing to sit your kids on an as-needed basis. They are already home taking care of kids so this would be extra money for them. They're in your neighborhood so you're not driving the kids all over the place. Maybe you can even trade babysitting hours by taking care of their kids sometimes so it doesn't cost you as much.

If you don't know your neighbors well enough to know who this might be, this is a good excuse to get to know them. Put out flyers asking people who are interested in starting a neighborhood stay-at-home parents social/babysitting group to contact you. I bet a lot of parents would be interested in this sort of thing.
posted by Jacqueline at 11:21 PM on March 14

Hi libraryhead ... I'm also a freelance editor in NE Massachusetts with a toddler! Want to trade MeFi Mail so we can commiserate?
posted by theredpen at 5:37 AM on March 15

I feel for you -- my kids are now 5 and almost 9, but I spent their early years trying to squeeze 15-20 hours of weekly freelance work into naptime, Dora/Blue's Clues, and bedtime. In other words, feeling totally stressed out for time and money, not to mention worried about not doing a good job at my job(s) and not doing a good job with my kids.

A few things that I tried along the way:

* Signing up my toddler for a nearby "playschool." (Like preschool, but kind of a co-op, with a parent in the classroom every day.) It was only three hours, two mornings a week, at first, but it got me by.

* Swapping childcare with another local mom. I watch the kids Monday for a few hours, she watches the kids Wednesday for a few hours -- that sort of thing.

* Having a high school aged girl come in as a "mother's helper" to watch the baby while I worked. (Cheaper than a babysitter.)

* Hiring a babysitter one massively long day a week and saving up my work for that one day.

* Saying no to projects that weren't worth it financially. (That one was hard.)

* When I did have a paying project and too much work to fit into my non-kid time, I got myself an intern -- not for the babysitting (though that would have been nice!), but for the administrative aspects of working on getting books published. (I was working on three anthologies, and I shared an intern with another local writer who was working on promoting her first book, so the intern did a little bit of a lot of things, from chasing down permissions to doing a bit of local PR.)

This is actually the first year that *both* of my kids are in school full-day (up until last year, the youngest one was still in the four-hour-day playschool/preschool), and the difference is huge. The years you are in right now I felt were the toughest, in terms of the time-squeeze, especially because for me, at least, it felt like it was going to be that way forever -- that I'd never be able to sleep or work or have any time where I wasn't torn between one thing or another. But your time will ease up, eventually. Hang in there! I'm glad to see there's another Mefite in your area in a similar situation -- perhaps the two of you can band together. :)
posted by mothershock at 7:34 AM on March 15

I actually had horrible luck with childcare for my baby-now 2-UNTIL I found someone spectacular on Craigslist. Caveat emptor, and all that, but the formal daycare providers I tried wanted me to commit to a specific schedule. I work 20 hours a week, or so, but every week my schedule varies, and it was challenging to find someone. It was a bit like internet dating-put my listing out there, emailed a bit to see if we hit it off, checked her out with childcare registration folks to make sure there weren't any concerns about her-and it's been just fabulous.

Coop preschools are great, too-I like that they give you a free or low cost way to get some work done-and on days you are the parent in charge, they let you have the luxury of playing with your child with other kids and moms there, which I always find easier than being home, just the two of you.
posted by purenitrous at 4:40 PM on March 15