I'm tryin' to make a new plan, Stan.

February 26, 2008 9:10 PM

Okay, so I had to DTMFA... now I need fun/cool ideas on how to occupy myself until I stop thinking about him.

It was most definitely the right decision so I'm not in a bad place about it (Helped a lot that he didn't like dogs and I adore mine). Although I'm disappointed that it didn't work out, I'm actually in a good mood and don't have regrets. But every once in a while I start thinking about how cute he was and how much fun we had together and how maybe... maybe I was wrong. (No, Lynn. You weren't. Shut up.)

In order to eradicate those doubts I need to keep busy with fun stuff. I just spent a week in LA and had a blast so that was a great distraction but now I'm back in the Bay area for the moment. I have some work and some music activities which helps, but I want to keep as busy as possible during my free time. Soooo, what kind of fun classes/activities/excursions/adventures can I plan for myself right now while I'm waiting for my broken affections to subside? The busier I am and the more fun I'm having the better, I say.

I'm an artsy fartsy type of girl... into music, jazz, arts, movies, writing, cultural stuff, whatever. I'm up for all ideas but keep in mind I went to art school to avoid math, so no calculus lectures or anything like that... I'm already in enough pain, my friends. :)

posted by miss lynnster to sports, hobbies, & recreation (33 comments total)

I forgot to mention... I'm also on a bit of a budget right now. So cheap is good.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:13 PM on February 26

Work your way through something long, like "Rememberance of Things Past" or all seven seasons of "The Gilmore Girls" (not that I'm equating the two!), or all of a director's movies. Or learn a new art (a new instrument or knitting). If you're at all into sports, train for an event (a marathon, a triathlon) months in the future. (I find that something like that helps me focus on the future instead of the past.) Plant something.
posted by Airhen at 9:23 PM on February 26

athenspie is a fun girl, but I don't know what she's up to.

I don't have any practical advice, other than don't watch The Gilmore Girls (ew), and start going to places you might bump into someone interesting to take your mind off what could have been....'cause it aint'. Also, I was just compelled to comment since you used DTMFA. Nice.

Good luck.
posted by hulahulagirl at 9:38 PM on February 26

Watch Freaks and Geeks on DVD! Just throwing that out there because I just finished watching it for the first time and was just blown away.

Other series I've enjoyed include Entourage and Big Love.

Always helps carry me away to another world and occupy my time when I am in a bad mood :)
posted by paperlanterns at 9:38 PM on February 26

I only used "The Gilmore Girls" as an example of something that would take a lot of time and would be a distraction.
posted by Airhen at 9:39 PM on February 26

How about helping me volunteer at a carnivorous plant booth at the SF Flower and Garden Show three weekends from now? Free admission for volunteers. Mefi mail me, if you are so inclined ;)
posted by jamaro at 9:40 PM on February 26

like the outdoors?

A friend volunteers here ( in your area,) she says it's really cool and fun.
posted by oblio_one at 9:41 PM on February 26

Volunteer or get a second job, preferably in something social. Like the park service or a waitress or bartender job (bonus! extra cash!) or be an usher at the sympony or opera (bonus! free admission!). Ever wondered if you would like to work in bookstore? Try it! Or get a job in something you would like as a hobby - outdoorsy store or knitting or whatever...
posted by zia at 9:44 PM on February 26

Get a membership somewhere where you can swim laps. When I'm swimming I can't think of anything except the count of laps and the wonderful rhythm (three kicks per arm pull, three pulls per breath, alternating sides).

Find somewhere with social dancing. The key here is that it's social dancing. That means no über-showy steps required, and no commitments longer than four minutes. If you can get a live jazz band, even better.

Pick an Indo-European root at random (such as m275;- or skel-) and write a suite of small poems, each one featuring a different reflex of it in modern English.

Write up your favorite three recipes and put them on my cookbook wiki-in-progress (send MeFi Mail for password). Or put your favorite three food-related AskMe posts into EatMe.

Ear train on Hertz and deciBels with Post-Ut. Imagine how nice it will be to tell the semiliterate cable monkey at <your favorite dimly-lit jazz club>, "My mic' sounds too cold and thin. Can I make an EQ request? Cut above 1000 Hz by about 6 dB, and boost 200-700 Hz by about 3 dB, if you would." and have the sound just stop sucking?

Take exactly five photographs every day. Make them striking and beautiful. Hunt down the places where beauty goes to relax when it's off the job.
posted by eritain at 9:46 PM on February 26 [6 favorites]

There's nothing wrong with watching The Gilmore Girls. I had Thanksgiving with an actor from that show, once, and he was a very nice man. It sounded like they had a lot of fun making that show, and I'm sure that it shines through in the production.
posted by 1 at 9:49 PM on February 26

It's cracking me up that this thread is somehow becoming about the Gilmore Girls. Which I've only seen twice at most.

Keep up the suggestions! Unfortunately I can't swim, tho. I've got a bad eardrum so I have to keep water out of it. :(
posted by miss lynnster at 9:53 PM on February 26

Take your dog to agility training, or even down to the local park to socialize. Seems to me a good place to meet fellow dog lovers and make friends. Even if they're not personally attractive or available, they may in turn have friends who are.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 9:57 PM on February 26

I second the volunteer idea. It's a good way to meet a new group of people. How about the local arts council?
posted by haikuku at 9:58 PM on February 26

Bummer! You were so glowy last I saw you (though clearly tentative).

Got a scrapbook? Make one! (Sure fire font of self-love)
Go traipse though a vintage store or antique shop and try on hats and sit in chairs.
Fly a kite on Ocean Beach!
Buy a magazine you've never read before!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:11 PM on February 26

Lovely suggestions, eritain. Thank you.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 10:23 PM on February 26

Come down to Redwood City on Caltrain, I'll pick you up, bring the dog, my kids can pet the dog while you and I get drunk on the patio. Then my husband will come home and we will loudly grill him about why MEN SUCK and he will make us some steaks. And some coffee. And some Alka-Seltzer.
posted by padraigin at 10:33 PM on February 26

It would be neat-o to join forces with a youth-serving (or anyone-serving) nonprofit in the area that focuses on arts, crafts, culture, design, etc. Talk to the Director about possibly offering a once a week/month class teaching your art and design skillz (I peeked at your resume) at their facilities and serving their participants at little or no expense to them.

Volunteer Match is a good place to start for a list of like-minded NPs in your area.

-Take a cooking class?
-Read The Classics in the chronological order in which they were written?
-Check out activities, volunteer opportunities, events, and classes on Craigslist?
-Start a foreign film club with your friends? Have food, drink, cheesy decorations from featured foreign country.
-Rearrange your living space?
-Take a karate class?
-(make sure to end all items in a list with a question mark?)
-Learn a language?
-Go to the bar and talk to randoms?
-Teach your dog new tricks?
posted by click at 10:43 PM on February 26

Not to promote negativity, but when that "he's so cute, wistful wistful" feeling comes around, be ready with something.... negative. Negative and true. His flawed table manners. Nose hair. Unflattering underwear. Poor choices in reading material. Isolated grammatical error. Every ex has something you can call upon in times like these. Dwell upon it just long enough to cancel out whatever sentimental foolishness might cloud your resolve.
posted by wryly at 11:05 PM on February 26

I'd recommend re-decorating your apartment on the cheap so that you have a great, restful space that is all yours and makes you feel good about yourself. Also, it will be less full of painful reminders ("that's the love seat we canoodled in, sigh etc") and it's VERY time consuming. Go to apartmenttherapy.com and get inspired. You can get free stuff off craigslist and with some paint and new fabric have a whole makeover of your living space, and refresh your perspective.
posted by np312 at 11:35 PM on February 26

Heh, I feel sort of proselytizish for always recommending the stuff I do, but hey, it's the stuff I know is good:

- Learn judo or jiu-jitsu. It's actually pretty safe, despite being full contact because there's no striking or small joint manipulation. It's also very engaging. When I started, I was thrilled by each class and spent the next day at work looking up techniques and video, blogging about it, and reading about Masahiko Kimura's great battles with challengers from many different nations and styles. (Also, you'll meet a ton of guys.)

- Get involved in a deep, rich video game that will take many hours. There's a jillion games out there, and what you find immersive depends on your tastes. Fortunately, there's plenty of video game suggestion threads out there.

- Learn to play an instrument. I've slacked a lot since, but the guitar definitely held my attention when I started. Playing the songs you love is incredibly rewarding. I mean, there are certain songs that make me feel like a god when I nail them.

- Think of a story you want to tell, and then build a comic book with it. This is something I've always wanted to do, but my drawing skill isn't sufficient right now. Or, you could just write it, I suppose.
posted by ignignokt at 12:11 AM on February 27 [2 favorites]

Get involved in a deep, rich video game that will take many hours.

If only there were a bunch of Mefites...

p.s. Our intra-mefi team, one of four, is called DTMFA.
posted by Phred182 at 1:10 AM on February 27

Knitting has worked as a good distraction for me and others in the less than cheery times. Especially when you first start, you need to concentrate too much to be thinking. Then once you are into it, it provides a nice rhythmic sort of meditation.
posted by AnnaRat at 1:11 AM on February 27

Gilmore girls? Oy. Well, ok if you need to zone out - but I'm getting that since you're creative the zoning out would last only :that: long before you get totally bored and start reminiscing. Ideas -

Start journaling, take a tribal dance class, join a drum circle that meets regularly, start discovering the galleries, museums and poetry readings in your neck of the wood, cultivate healthy relationships by learning what constitutes one via group dynamics - psycho-drama - find a gym and start working out, get a bike and start biking. Get the pent up anger out. It's there baby - zoning out or fun stuff just mask the angst and pain - get to your beautiful essence - and embrace that. Empowered women can help you find your Way. OH and if you haven't read the Artist's Way - might be just the right time to do that. Cheers and rock on.
posted by watercarrier at 4:22 AM on February 27

Salsa dancing is fun
posted by jannw at 5:36 AM on February 27

You are so lucky to have so many interesting leisure classes! In my town we have very limited classes. They usually are something like "Learn Excel Spreadsheets" or "Jazzercise"

Watch every movie from one director. The Cohen Brothers, Woody Allen, the Dardenne Brothers, etc.

It may not be your cup of tea, but I'm doing this at the moment and it's fun. Make a few crafts while watching a good movie. Make little magnets out of stones or buttons. Keep some for yourself. Give some to friends. Or buy a sketch pad and do a sketch a day.

Start thinking about spring. Plant some flowers in a pot or window box or buy a packet of seeds for a dollar.

This isn't "fun" but it will occupy your time and you'll feel great when it is done: Do some Spring Cleaning. Clean out your closets. Dust under your bed. Donate a bunch of old clothes and things you don't use to charity. Purge and simplify.

Download some new music you've been wanting to explore and walk your dog while listening to the new tunes.
posted by LoriFLA at 6:05 AM on February 27

yes! buy team fortress 2, and join our team, which is called DTMFA!
posted by lohmannn at 6:08 AM on February 27

jamaro: Do you need many volunteers for your booth? Could be a fun meetup-ish event.
posted by junesix at 6:27 AM on February 27

Oh my god thank god for this question. I broke up with my sweetie last night and unlike you I have lots of regrets but I have to believe it was the right decision. It's a loooong lonely weekend I'm looking at but I'm thinking of getting a part time job just to get out of the house.
posted by chickaboo at 6:52 AM on February 27

We're always up for a meetup around here - MeFiMail me if you wish to conspire, or just get together some weekend. And jamaro's booth sounds cool (you might lose a few fingers, though).

Join or start up a book club? Get a guidebook to SF and play tourist? There are some lovely walks through the city, and SF really is a beautiful place with interesting history and architecture, and tons of good cheap eateries. If you haven't discovered the Filbert Steps, that's a must-do walk.

Good luck and have fun!
posted by Quietgal at 7:43 AM on February 27

hit the gym, go running. every day, hard. you'll feel physically better, you'll be distracted, you'll sleep more, and rest more. it's win/win.
posted by matteo at 7:59 AM on February 27 [1 favorite]

Find somewhere with social dancing. The key here is that it's social dancing.

I completely agree with this one. I hit a bored patch in life and used it to discover the world of swing dancing. Just about anywhere in the US there is an active swing scene under the surface. It's an entire subculture that takes in people in their teens and twenties all the way up through their 80s, with plenty of folks in their 30s and 40s too. You can go as plain-Jane as you want or you can glam it up with costume and accessories, and the thing is, the dancing is incredibly fun. You feel very social, people respond to you kindly and pleasantly, and sometimes little crushes and romances form at regular dances - light and fruity, great for distraction. Learning to dance is challenging enough to occupy you for a while, and if it really suits you, you can throw yourself into it and travel to conferences, rent videos, book private lessons, and travel to weekend conferences and dance camps. Yehoodi and its links are a good portal to the world of swing dancing.

Love the idea of volunteering with artsy youth. Young women especially can really use great, talented, cool, independent, smart female role models, like you would be.

Do you have AMC on the West Coast? They are pretty awesome - local chapters run all sorts of hikes and adventures from kayaking to rock climbing, from a day to a weekend in length. A great way to make friends and get out of your usual environment.

I suggest you pick something (or a few things) with the potential to interest you and keep you busy over a span of months, rather than deciding each day what it is you might do that day. That's always a recipe for wandering around alone and mooning about in cafes and moping when you see happy couples walk by. If you have something goal-oriented and social that requires participation on a regular schedule, you'll have that life structure that has you always looking forward to something, doing something, or resting from something before doing the next thing. Go for that flow experience.

Enjoy the possibility that your life is suddenly full of.
posted by Miko at 8:28 AM on February 27

Quietgal suggests yet another meetup, and that sounds good. She also mentions walking around the city, and that's what I'd suggest too. In fact, Crissy Field last month was so much fun that I think another ambulatory plan would be stupendous.

In the meantime, or if you don't feel like hanging out with all of us, these walks sound kind of interesting. You might even be able to bring the pup.
posted by tangerine at 12:37 PM on February 27

Now I can afford to go to the movies: the Castro Theatre is playing Coen Brothers movies all weekend. See the schedule!
posted by Pronoiac at 2:13 PM on February 29