Help me out of this downward spiral?
February 20, 2008 1:45 PM Subscribe
So I'm clinically depressed. And right now I likely can't take medication or see a therapist. If things get worked out with medical coverage I might be able to do one or both. But, I'd like to avoid medication if at all possible. What are the things I can do/take (vitamins?) to feel better until ?
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (40 answers total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
I'm off medication because we are trying to have another child. Our first is nearly 6. I have had 3 miscarriages and a huge number of problems in the last year (stepfather stroking a number of times, the last on Xmas day, surgery, a recent move away from a city and to a small town, deaths, pet deaths and more...2007 just sucked).
I'm also unemployed currently, which isn't a financial problem, I left work to be with our child, but she's 6 and unless I'm actively raising a wee child, there’s no need for me to be at home and I’m wasting a large education. I am trying to change my career from IT (15 years) to Education which requires study for the Teacher exams but I can't concentrate.
I've lost my drive, my passion, my ambition. I used to have big energy and a wide ranging interest and all I want to do now is sleep, read and sleep some more. I'm managing to pull it together around my daughter and to keep our house running, but I'm a void otherwise. I'm going through the motions and that is not me.
After we determine that I either cannot carry another child or after a successful pregnancy I'll be back on meds like a flash, but for now I can't. And until our therapy coverage is figured out I can't do that either.
I've stopped writing (I’ve had a blog since 1998); stopped participating in online discussions, stopped interacting much with anyone. When I do, I keep ending up in situations I am uncomfortable in (like a bar) then I drink too much and make an ass out of myself and of course hate myself even more. I need to see my friends though or I'll isolate further. Also I don't drink every day or every week, but go overboard when I'm in certain social situations or sometimes when blindsided by something horrible (not always but sometimes). It’s hard to give up drinking entirely because that is about the only time I feel some relief and ease.
Also--I have a congenital defect which makes exercise difficult (I only have about 70 lung capacity and my organs are not all located exactly where they should be, wheee). I know I need to though. But what? And how to get off your butt when everything is a huge effort?
I have had episodes of major depression in the past, all dealt with by some very competent doctors and I've survived more or less. I have a great daughter and husband and live in a good town with good friends. This exam is coming up and if I don't get my brain back I'm going to fail and hat myself more. Becoming a teacher is something I wanted when younger and was talked out of, now is my chance, the jobs all just opened up and if I can get my butt in gear and take these tests and get in the non traditional licensure program I will get to do what I wanted to do in my 20s. But I can’t think or remember or even learn right now. It's all a bad spiral. And I’m also around mid life crisis age too, give or take. Which means I’m running out of time to be pregnant too .
I'm usually more linear but it is hard to describe all this. So vitamins? Which ones? How much? Motivation? Exercise? What kind. I’d jump off the roof, but it would really piss off my cats and probably be worse for my family then even how I am right now. Throwaway email is firstname.lastname@example.org