Porn for girls. That isn't gross.

January 14, 2008 7:51 AM

I'm looking for porn a girl might like. But apparently I'm picky.

My boyfriend and I would like to watch some porn. I am not anti-porn, but I have very little experience with it. I've watched a lot of little clips recently in hopes of finding something we could watch together, but I have liked none of it.

I would like to find straight porn where it really seems like the girl is enjoying herself. I guess that's my main problem. It's gross to me to watch some woman who'd clearly rather be shopping for frozen foods mechanically moan "Oh yeah, right there" as a completely hairless man pumps away at her.

I'm not interested in: plots, lesbians, female dominance, humiliation that goes beyond a friendly "You're my little slut", extreme pain. I am interested in: a woman making sounds that actually sound like something feels good, natural light, intimate, comfortable-looking surroundings, real or convincingly-faked sexual chemistry, male dominance, dirty talk, real orgasms.

Ideally, it would be nice if the people in the movie had natural, healthy bodies and were not made up like drag performers. Or wearing shoes or socks during the act. Or completely shaved.

But I would probably give up all the rest for real female orgasms. But even the orgasms on the tape my raunchiest friend got on the advice of the Good Vibrations folks, which allegedly featured real female orgasms, struck me as the fakeest of the fake. So again, I guess I'm picky.

I'm on the verge of telling my boyfriend no dice, and while he'd be cool about it, this is something I know he'd like. I'd like to be able to do for him. But I can't handle the depressing, unsexy, robotic sex. Is there any porn that involves people having an actual good time? Is there really nothing that's a reasonably cute couple having good sex - not crazy acrobatic sex, good sex - in a comfortable bed? If you'd rather not comment with your vast porn knowledge, here's a throwaway email address: [e-mail]

posted by anonymous to Media & Arts (30 answers total)

If you're looking for films where the actors actually enjoy having sex with each other, there are films where the actors are (or were at time of filming) actually married in real life -- back when Jenna Jameson was still human as opposed to alien, she made a lot of movies with her then-husband, some blond guy, just google it. Tera Patrick has also made films with her husband, the tattooed Nazi guy from Oz. Hope that helps.
posted by matteo at 7:59 AM on January 14, 2008

Have you considered looking at the non-professional variety?
posted by utsutsu at 8:07 AM on January 14, 2008

There's a fellow in NYC who has done some podcasts, Porno Jim. Believable female enjoyment & orgasms is one of his hobby-horses so you might check out the things he suggests. I haven't seen most of what he's mentioned. I've only listened to the first two or three of the five podcasts but he mentions a number of films and interviews a few directors, at least one of whom was gonzo (so no plots).

Since I haven't heard show 5 I haven't heard his interview with my not-so-secret crush, Tristain Taormino, who has a few movies out as a director now. Even if you're not interested in backdoor friends, I think her Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 2 would fit your bill - a lot of attention paid to female pleasure. Even if you skipped the anal there's a lot of hot sex in it. She's also got a new series out I have not seen any of, called Chemistry. It TUGTASFW is any indication it should also be good for legit female pleasure.
posted by phearlez at 8:09 AM on January 14, 2008

Abby Winters might fit the bill. Some lesbian material, but also lots of non-porn looking, attractive young people having fun together and alone. Have fun, you crazy kids!
posted by Scoo at 8:15 AM on January 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

The good news is that there is porn out there that matches your description. There are definitely porn films showing women really enjoying sex, and being treated respectfully at the same time. The bad news is that you have to wade through an incredible amount of dross in order to find it.

First of all, I would recommend that you double your resolve, and steel yourself to experience some horrible hardcore porn along the way. If you shudder at the first icky thing you see, I can guarantee you won't find anything good, because the amount of ick vastly outnumbers the amount of goodness. But it's a mission worth accepting.

My next piece of advice would be to steer clear of stuff downloaded from filesharing networks and to stay away from buying expensive DVDs. The best way I can recommend to sort through all the various genres, actors and directors is to subscribe to the paid-for video-on-demand section of Pornotube or a similar site - it's a comparatively cheap way of watching porn in good quality, and you pay in batches of minutes.

There are some female porn directors - for example Anna Span and Tristan Taormino, though whether they are more likely to produce movies that fit your description is up for debate. There's also a fair amount of more "arty" porn on Pornotube and similar sites for you to find, though if anything the porn directors' aspirations towards making a cultural statement can be even more of a turn-off than the trashy stuff.

The rest is a matter of your personal taste. One female friend recommends films directed by / starring Lexington Steele, on Anabolic Films; she also recommends "Outnumbered" by Erik Everhard (!) But only you can tell what you find erotic and what you find nasty.
posted by skylar at 8:16 AM on January 14, 2008

It's gross to me to watch some woman who'd clearly rather be shopping for frozen foods mechanically moan "Oh yeah, right there" as a completely hairless man pumps away at her.

Well, that's pretty boring for men to watch too. Unfortunately, it makes up 99.9 percent of the porn industry.

I'm gonna recommend Abby Winters. The site doesn't meet all your criteria, as it focuses almost exclusively on girl-girl, but in every other sense it meets your needs. Attractive, non-pornstar girls with normal, natural bodies having fun while they have sex. And I'm a guy, so what do I know, but I'm pretty sure their orgasms are real too.

Oh, and the DVDs are very slim on plot, but are professionally shot with great lighting and steady camerawork and all that.
posted by afx237vi at 8:28 AM on January 14, 2008

Firegirls.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 8:38 AM on January 14, 2008

Admittedly, I haven't seen a huge amount of porn and what most I have seen is perfectly described by you in your post but an actress I have enjoyed more than any other is Gianna Michaels. She seems in control of her scenes and in one memorable one she actually laughed at the guy for having a small penis. I just recently read Jenna Jameson's autobiograpy "How to make love like a porn star" so now I want to see some of the movies she describes. God, it is hard to find good porn. I'll be watching this thread with interest.
posted by saucysault at 8:43 AM on January 14, 2008

Honestly, I know you said no lesbian porn, but you should take a look at Crash Pad [Quicktime Trailer - Really, really NSFW obviously]. It's a queer film with an actual premise and honest-to-god-incredibly-hot-sex. You could even watch it by yourself to see if it strikes your fancy, before sharing it with your partner. The thing about (good) queer porn is that it's not "lesbian porn" for the male fantasy, which involves two women getting in on for the male viewer's eyes. Good queer porn involves actual bodies, actual chemistry, pretty down-n-dirty sex. And this isn't two lithe young eastern European girls vaguely touching each other. I think you'll find more actual fucking (and sweet, sweet sex, and slow, slow bodies touching) in this queer series than you would in much 'straight' porn; plus, the orgasms are real.

Blowfish has some other recommendations - some I haven't seen, but they have previews or trailers for many. You might like Friends and Lovers at the bottom of the page. They have some couple recommendations too.

I think you'd probably enjoy Comstock Films. There are three listed here. Straight porn, pretty good filming, pretty good sex.
posted by barometer at 8:47 AM on January 14, 2008

My personal favorite is the award-winning Fashionistas, but it's very vampy and high gloss, with not many on screen climaxes, and some S&M plot. The stars look to be naturally model-beautiful, and it's just really hot, wheras most porn doesn't get me the least bit buttered up.

I put a lot of stock in the reviews at blowfish, so for your needs, take a look at their Real Life Sex, Natural Bodies, or By Women sections for intelligent and carefully chosen selections.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:50 AM on January 14, 2008

I was just coming here to push the Blowfishies' reviews, and y'all beat me to it. What they said.
posted by gingerbeer at 9:00 AM on January 14, 2008

Offhand, I would suggest The Chameleon, because the women actually seem to be enjoying themselves, and Zazel, just because it's pretty amazing.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:13 AM on January 14, 2008

You seem to be describing beautifulagony.com. Look there maybe?
posted by DarkForest at 9:35 AM on January 14, 2008

check out videobox.com - wide selection of videos, and you can preview everything before downloading.
posted by gnutron at 9:50 AM on January 14, 2008

I can't google it right now but since you're interested in male dominance, there's a website called sexandsubmission.com (I think - my memory is rusty on the name). It's well liked by the female population at bondage.com for its realism. I know for a fact it's owned by the same people who own meninpain.com, so if I've got the URL wrong, maybe you can track it down that way. (Meninpain.com is exactly what it sounds like, so probably not your cup of tea.)
posted by desjardins at 10:11 AM on January 14, 2008

Ok, I know this is going to be self-serving, but here it goes anyway.

I (a girl) produce damsel-in-distress erotica (of me and others) aimed at loving couples who are either into, or looking to try out, Love Bondage. No S&M. No Pain. No Humiliation. I use the term "loving restraint".

Very "R" rated, but very real.

Here's review of the site from Janes Guide

Here's the direct link.

They're not hardcore links, but they are very NSFW (but you probably guessed that.)



Where ever your search lands you, i hope you two have fun!
posted by sandra_s at 10:23 AM on January 14, 2008

saucysault: Admittedly, I haven't seen a huge amount of porn and what most I have seen is perfectly described by you in your post but an actress I have enjoyed more than any other is Gianna Michaels. She seems in control of her scenes and in one memorable one she actually laughed at the guy for having a small penis.

Hooray! I like Gianna too. Totally different kind of porn star.

There's a whole genre of "reality porn" out there which is probably about as real as reality TV is but is much more about two actual people gettin' it on and not two characters acting out some absurd plot.
posted by loiseau at 11:31 AM on January 14, 2008

Um...
StreetBlowJobs for the win.

Real girls, typically, and also much more girls-next-door, amateur, instead of super porno star stuff. $5 trial lets you download nearly everything and then cancel real easy.

So a friend tells me...
posted by disillusioned at 12:33 PM on January 14, 2008

Yeah, sorry. What you want is really hard to find, unfortunately (and a little bit of understanding about how pornos are made goes a long way toward understanding that—if you ever get a movie that allows you to keep the director's sound on while you watch it, it's a fascinating anthropological study in how sex acts are constructed for film).

That, combined with the fact that the marketing philosophy of a lot of large video producers, like, ahem, the one that I work for, is to flood the displays. Rather than making any porn that people really want to see, it makes more fiscal sense to put out as many films as they can, monopolizing store space, and basically forcing smaller, more niche producers out of the retail spots. This is also why they hate the internet.

Some things that people have mentioned: beautifulagony.com is a good start. Also, looking at livejournal communities—a lot of amateur couples upload stuff there, and that's usually the best. Surf around for a cracked password for ten.com and you'll find one (I'd link to where I go, but that's pretty discouraged—if you're clever with your google, you'll run across 'em soon enough). Ten has a LOT of crap, but also a fair amount of decent stuff.

Oh, and while I haven't seen this in ten years, and I still smirk at the title, when I worked at a video store we were always told to recommend the "A Taste of Ambrosia" series for women. It's supposed to be pretty good, but I remember it as mid-90s big hair porn, so your tastes may be different.

There's also the Color Climax series, if you don't mind '70s Germans. They seem to be legitimately having fun, but are a little goofy.
posted by klangklangston at 12:36 PM on January 14, 2008

Check out videos posted to Made by Amateurs, and others of that ilk. Handcamera shot and video of people actually enjoying sex with one another. In the pro / semi-pro realm, the girls at FTV seem to be having a lot of fun sometimes. Mostly those are not scenes that include men (mostly solo stuff, some lesbian play... lots of stuff shot in Hawaii, which is nice). 18qt.com has a lot of short clips of their stuff. Have fun!
posted by zpousman at 12:37 PM on January 14, 2008

I remember watching some porn from the "homegrown video" series with a lady friend that was surprising in exactly the way you describe. There were normal, natural, attractive looking people who really seemed to enjoy each other shot under mostly natural lighting.

They produce a series that has like 700+! videos in it, so I certainly can't speak for them all, but out of the three we saw I remember two were pretty great and the other was just kinda meh but nor particularly offensive.
posted by Jezztek at 12:41 PM on January 14, 2008

Hrmm. Dear dear god, I can't believe I'm really going to say this...

But. I've had some luck with videos by Ivana Fukalot.

Yes. I know. lol. But don't be deterred by the RIDICULOUS name..

The videos are all really "real" and intimate... perhaps because they actually seem to LIKE one another. Its always the same girl and guy, so far as I've seen...

Highly recommended.
posted by Mookbear at 12:51 PM on January 14, 2008

I Feel Myself is made by the same people as Beautiful Agony. Both sites are pretty much exclusively devoted to (mostly female) masturbation, which might or might not be your thing. But on both, the realism of the orgasms is basically the whole point.

(In general, I get a feeling you're going to find what you're looking for online and not on video. I know a lot of kinky, sex-positive, porn-happy people, and I've never once seen anything remotely resembling what you want on videotape.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:28 PM on January 14, 2008

youporn has a ton of amateur and couples and international stuff. you still have to sort through crap, but it's pretty user friendly. and from there it can guide you...you may find the stuff you gravitate towards posted there is all from one source, etc. the girls at the BUST forum mentioned it, and it's the only place i bother with now.
posted by ifjuly at 9:30 PM on January 14, 2008

oh yeah, and blowfish and other places were talking about some arty bisexual art student types porn with a sort of plot line and diverse backgrounds...i think the video was called the apartment or the key or something. sorry i can't remember more. i never actually saw it, but the previews looked interesting.

candida royalle directs porn designed for women, but the result can kind of be romance-novel-translated-to-video-ish. her film company's called femme. i support her in her endeavor and hope more women start making a name for pornforwomen out there!
posted by ifjuly at 9:32 PM on January 14, 2008

One more link: Violet Blue's Smart Girl's Guide to Porn.
posted by gingerbeer at 9:58 PM on January 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

For a twist - how about looking for mainstream movies that have sex scenes? Some of them can get really erotic, and I've found some to be a lot more appealing and sexy than straight-up porn.
posted by divabat at 8:21 AM on January 15, 2008

one mainstream movie that has an awesomely hot (male dominance) sex scene is A History of Violence with Viggo Mortenson (the rest of the movie is shit, IMO).
posted by desjardins at 9:12 AM on January 15, 2008

ifjuly: Could that be Tinto Brass' Le Chiave (The Key)? This was a pretty popular title in certain circles. Don't hold Caligula against him BTW - he didn't even shoot most of the porn in that movie.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:45 AM on January 16, 2008

Maybe ease your way to video, and consider reading erotica to each other. There is a very well established community at literotica.com with erotic stories, as well as forums, and traditional video/photos.

I read it for the articles.
posted by terrapin at 7:46 PM on January 18, 2008