Being believed, Believing others
December 4, 2007 8:46 AM Subscribe
Have you ever successfully explained yourself to someone who was angry at you, didn't trust you, and never particularly trusted you? Have you ever been persuaded by someone who you didn't particularly like or trust when you were angry at them?
posted by Capri to human relations (19 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I don't want to get into the particulars, but instead get to some core truths here if we can.
Is it possible for someone who doesn't trust you to believe you, and maybe even understand you? Can your explanation ever be good enough? Is it better to leave the person with a misunderstanding, or attempt to find a way to get through to him or her?
Maybe I should ask this another way: Is it possible to believe and understand someone who you've never particularly liked or trusted? Can his or her explanation ever be good enough, or will your history make any explanation fodder for an argument?
Does the complexity of the explanation make a difference either way here? Does evidence tending to prove the explanation help, or does it look like pandering? (Assume here that the evidence is not dispositive proof, because positive proof is simply not possible, e.g. when explaining your feelings, rather than where you were at 2 p.m. on Saturday.)
If you are willing to share, can you tell me stories about when this did and did not work for you, either as explainer or as mistruster?