Can't be a mommy yet.

November 29, 2007 2:39 PM

I had sex for the first time, and less than a week later I had period-like cramps and some blood spotting in my underwear. Was I, or am I now, pregnant? We took every possible precaution...

Did the deed Saturday night. Three times. Bye bye virginity. It didn't hurt and I didn't notice any post-coital bleeding, which was a relief. Did it again three more times Monday night. The weird, between-period bleeding and cramping happened mid-afternoon on Wednesday. Nothing more that I have noticed since. I feel a little bloated, though that could be me being paranoid. I'm in the middle of week 2 of my cycle.

I'm on the pill, he used condoms. The first time we did it I was somewhat late taking my pill (Necon 1/35, so a pretty high dose) that day, but, as I said, a condom was used right from the first point that sperm could have been introduced into the equation.

I have looked at a lot of the pregnancy scare/miscarriage posts from the past, but none can quite reassure me enough.

Most importantly, I need to know if I should be doing pregnancy tests/going to the health center/worrying about scheduling things at Planned Parenthood. I'm in college, in the throes of end-of-semester nonsense, BUT I absolutely cannot go home to my parents worrying about this.

I know you're not my doctor, but this seems like it should be a fairly common experience. If I really need to be going in to see a professional (and that's not just your kneejerk reaction), I can do that.

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (55 answers total)

IANAD, but I think it's just your body adjusting to you having had so much sex so close together. I wouldn't be worried unless your period end up being late.
posted by youcancallmeal at 2:44 PM on November 29, 2007

Can you wait until the next time you are supposed to get your period? If you're on the pill, you should know pretty quickly if you're late. If you need to know sooner than that, though, the only person who can tell you definitively is a doctor. It sounds like you won't be able to stop worrying about being pregnant until you have a verifiable yes or no which no one on MeFi can give you.
posted by yogurtisgenocide at 2:46 PM on November 29, 2007

I think its highly unlikely you are pregnant, the bleeding is probably just your body recovering from the new and unusual (for it) activity :) Go buy a pack of the pee-on-a-stick pregnancy tests from a drugstore and use one of those when you are at the right day in your cycle to test. I don't think you are pregnant, but it will put your mind at rest. Once the suspicion of pregnancy enters your head, it can be really hard to get it out of there without doing a test just to reassure yourself.
posted by Joh at 2:46 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Second the pee-on-a-stick pregnancy test.
posted by Kioki-Silver at 2:48 PM on November 29, 2007

Do worry about it until you've missed your period.
posted by drezdn at 2:52 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I mean DON'T worry about it until you've missed your period.
posted by drezdn at 2:52 PM on November 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

I don't think you're pregnant either. Have you ever had mid-cycle bleeding before? It's exceedingly common and the slightest bit of hormonal change can bring it about. You've been engaging in new activity; who knows what's going on in your hormonal realm. Freaking out can also throw off your cycle so just be calm and do well on your exams.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 3:02 PM on November 29, 2007

I had sex for the first time, and less than a week later I had period-like cramps and some blood spotting in my underwear. Was I, or am I now, pregnant? We took every possible precaution...

IANAD, but I'm a girl, and I've had sex. I say in my best big-sister voice, nahh, it's pretty seriously unlikely that you are/were pregnant. Hormones are funny. Both the cramping and the spotting can be aftereffects of vigorous stimulation of the girlparts.

But if it's making you crazy, do a pee stick test.

Is there a doctor in the house? Less than one week after sex, can you even be "pregnant?" The embryo isn't even implanted in the uterus yet, right?
posted by desuetude at 3:04 PM on November 29, 2007

If you're worried now, you'll be even more so in another two weeks and that alone may cause your period to be late. Calmly (if you can) wait until your cycle comes around and take an EPT if and when you are a few days late.
posted by yeti at 3:04 PM on November 29, 2007

You are probably not pregnant. But you aren't going to feel sure until you pee on the stick. So go pee on the stick. Depending on how you are built inside and how active you were growing up, your hymen might have needed more than the usual amount of penetration before it broke. Another possibility is a urinary tract infection, which is the 'Congratulations on losing your virginity!' gift that no one ever warns you about. If it burns when you pee and you think the blood might be coming from your urethra rather than your vagina, then get to the student health center asap for a round of antibiotics.
posted by happyturtle at 3:06 PM on November 29, 2007

yeah, i think the odds are incredibly low that you are pregnant or that you had a miscarriage. unless you have regularly used a vibrator or dildo the same size as your boyfriend's penis, the cramps are probably just your muscles being sore from unaccustomed activity, and the spotting is probably either the last remnant of your hymen rupturing or just some irritation from not enough lube.

i don't think a home pregnancy test can tell you anything at this point--you'd have to wait until you missed your period.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:06 PM on November 29, 2007

Many people try very hard to become pregnant, vigorously hurling gametes into one another, and they can't. It's hard to find numbers on this, but lets say roughly 1 in 10 women would get pregnant if 100 have unprotected sex once. This depends a huge degree on the present phase of your hormonal cycle and a host of other variables.

During a year of perfect condom (without additional spermicide or hormonal contraceptive) use, 3 in 100 women will become pregnant. The number jumps to 12 with "normal" condom use.

Likewise, the number with the Pill is 8 out of 100 women in a year. A year!

The odds are incredibly, incredibly, slim that you are pregnant. People aren't that fertile, condoms and hormonal pills work pretty damn well.
posted by phrontist at 3:06 PM on November 29, 2007

Those pee-on-a-stick tests are only effective around when your period is due, so you're pretty much stuck waiting until then. Even those that say they work 4 days before your period aren't really that reliable (something like 50% accurate, read the pamphlet) until you've actually missed your period.

I also don't think you're pregnant; you'd have to be a statistical freak of nature for both preventative measures to fail. Using the worst-case percentages I could find googling, the pill is still 95% effective against pregnancy, and the condom 86%. So the chance of both failing (if my math is right) is 0.07*0.14=0.007, or 0.7% (ie less than 1 %).
posted by cgg at 3:07 PM on November 29, 2007

You probably bruised your cervix.
posted by konolia at 3:07 PM on November 29, 2007

Argh... 0.05*0.14=0.007. My math was right, my typing wrong.
posted by cgg at 3:07 PM on November 29, 2007

Pregnancy tests don't even give accurate results for weeks after you've had sex. Wait until you've missed your period, then be concerned.
posted by k8t at 3:13 PM on November 29, 2007

cgg: No, they're much more reliable than that. Those percentages are for failure over the course of a year. So we're talking orders of magnitude less likely.
posted by phrontist at 3:20 PM on November 29, 2007

Wait until you've missed your period, then be concerned.


Alternatiely, since the use of two methods of birth control means it is highly unlikely that you are pregnant, wait until you HAVEN'T missed your period, then cease to be concerned.
posted by dersins at 3:20 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

we'll some new prego-tests DO give early results. plus you are not* pregnant, so take the test go ahead and buy the really fancy $19.95 one too, then you'll extra sure. and you'll feel better, so you can finish your exams and go home unworried.
posted by French Fry at 3:21 PM on November 29, 2007

* if you are jesus is coming back.
posted by French Fry at 3:22 PM on November 29, 2007

Take matters in hand for a while and heal up?
posted by Freedomboy at 3:25 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

i doubt you're pregnant. could be that your uterus walls are just irritated/rubbed raw from the activity—especially since you were a virgin, obviously your uterus wasn't accustomed to it. this sometimes happens to me if i haven't had sex for awhile and then have start having sex again. happens the first time or two and then i'm fine.
posted by violetk at 3:28 PM on November 29, 2007

I am not a doctor but to me, it sounds like your body is reacting to having sex. Sometimes after annual exams, I bleed. Normal stuff in my opinion. Just wait and see if you miss your period. I would try to stop thinking about it and get on with your life : )
posted by greenchile at 3:32 PM on November 29, 2007

I once had a pregnancy scare while on the pill, and I stressed myself into missing my period, even with it being regulated by hormones. I wasn't pregnant, but I was losing my ever-lovng mind. So calm down (if you're not calm), and wait til you get through to the placebo. In all probability you are fine.
posted by Medieval Maven at 3:33 PM on November 29, 2007

could be that your uterus walls are just irritated/rubbed raw from the activity—especially since you were a virgin, obviously your uterus wasn't accustomed to it.

Do you mean her vaginal walls are irritated? Or possibly her cervix? If you're having sex in your uterus, you really are doing it incorrectly.
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:41 PM on November 29, 2007 [10 favorites]

Using two reliable forms of birth control together make it virtually impossible for you to get pregnant, it's as close to 100% as you can basically get. Even if you are pregnant, I can't imagine the bleeding was caused by that as I think it takes 5 or 6 days for the embryo to implant, let alone miscarry. IANAD but I think I can be pretty confident in saying you really have nothing to worry about. You've been very responsible, yay! Now bask in the warmth and peace of mind of knowing that there is almost no chance you are pregnant.
posted by whoaali at 3:50 PM on November 29, 2007

I'm asking this as an actual question as I don't know the answer:

Would this be an occasion where the morning-after pill would be of use? My understanding is that they are not effective more than 24 hours after intercourse, but since she is very likely not pregnant anyway, perhaps it would be a way to ease the anxiety a little? I remember that anxiety, and it is not a good anxiety.
posted by Rock Steady at 3:54 PM on November 29, 2007

It's too early for a pregnancy test to tell you anything, but it's also too early for you to have any signs or symptoms of pregnancy. The fertilized egg doesn't implant until about 8 days after conception, so your body can't really react in any meaningful way before then.

It's normal to have a little anxiety about pregnancy when you first become sexually active. Use protection, try to relax, and take a home pregnancy test if you miss your period, but not before then.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 3:54 PM on November 29, 2007

condom and BC - you should be fine!!!

but keep up the good work, it's easy to get lax on protection after doing the deed for awhile
posted by Salvatorparadise at 3:58 PM on November 29, 2007

Yes, pee on a stick. But my bet is on vigorous sex creating the cramping. Most times that I end up hitting my partner's cervix during sex, she will get the exact same cramping and spotting that you describe. It's the downside of having the semi-rough sex that feels so good, I think. (And three times in a night is enough to give me cramps -- that is a lot of sex, and both of you shouldn't be surprised to feel a bit achy and chafed afterwards.)
posted by Forktine at 4:04 PM on November 29, 2007

Rock Steady: The morning-after pill is considered effective within 72 hours of unprotected sex, and the sooner the better. If the OP had had a mishap she wouldn't know whether it was Saturday or Monday. The insurance would be pretty insignificant and probably not worth the potential side effects.

I'm in the your-body-is-adjusting, wait-for-your-period camp.
posted by moonlet at 4:22 PM on November 29, 2007

The chances of your getting pregnant while taking several precautionary measures are indeed very slim. Women can be hyper-fertile and even when using several forms of birth control, things can still happen.

I know it's not the most popular or exciting thing to do, but if the idea of getting pregnant right now really bothers you that much, you do have the choice not to have sex. That is the only 100% way to prevent pregnancy, as I'm sure you know. There are plenty of other ways to have intimate fun with your guy, ways that will not cause you to worry and fret over possible consequences. Believe it or not, it can actually be very fulfilling for your relationship if you explore other kinds of, erm, activities. Yes, it's difficult when things get all hot not to go ahead and do the deed, but it is an option you should consider if you're not ready to handle the consequences, no matter how you might choose to proceed if you were to become pregnant.

And yes, I'm pro-life. Feel free to roll your eyes or whatever, but I couldn't let this whole thread go without pointing out the only foolproof way to completely avoid what you're going through right now.
posted by susiepie at 4:47 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Cramping and bleeding doesn't even sound like early pregnancy. It does sound like your body adjusting.

But, as suggested many times above, peeing on a stick will make you feel better - I once did freak myself out and actually delayed my own period by about two weeks.
posted by jb at 5:06 PM on November 29, 2007

To echo what cgg said, peeing on a stick won't work yet. If you pee on a stick now, it will almost certainly show up as negative, whether you are or not. Home tests react to hCG, which doesn't start ramping up until implantation, which would be happening around now if it did happen. False negatives go way down around the time you would have your next period.

That said, I don't think you are.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 5:19 PM on November 29, 2007

When did you start taking the BC? IANAD, but if this is your first cycle on the pill, your body may be adjusting to the hormones or be reacting to taking the pill later than usual by spotting. Chances are good that you're not pregnant. I agree with most people here that the most likely explanation is the newness and quantity of sex you've had.
posted by inconsequentialist at 5:30 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I agree with the others that pregnancy is unlikely given what you describe. I've seen spotting a few times before and know that it was a false alarm. I know this is the case for many women. I think anxiety can make it worse, but if you're at all worried, see a doctor.
posted by amfea at 5:43 PM on November 29, 2007

You are not pregnant.
posted by srrh at 6:09 PM on November 29, 2007

When I first started having sex with men, I got pregnancy panic at least once every cycle. The panic is normal, and so is the occasional strange body-response. I've been having sex for over a decade now (yay!) and still get the irrational panics every once in a while, even when I know I've done everything right, even when I'm at a completely infertile part of my cycle, et cetera. Don't worry--just continue to be cautious, keep having good sex, and realize that nearly every woman has these occasional freak-outs about pregnancy. You're not alone :)
posted by soviet sleepover at 6:49 PM on November 29, 2007

I agree that it is groin-grabbingly unlikely that you are with child.

However, some advice. I am a lady much like you, who has sex every once in a while (ahem) but gets a little freaked out by the idea of babies, and those pee stick tests are expensive because people like us run out and buy them immediately the second our bodies act even a bit weird.

I highly, highly recommend investing in a huge stock of dip-in-pee early pregnancy tests from any of the many online merchants who sell them in quantity. I've used them many times just to make me feel better when I had weird cramps or bleeding. Hell, I've given them to my friends when they were having weird cramps or bleeding. I'm so glad to have bought them. They're about to expire, and I'm going to order more. Buying dozens at a time is much cheaper than running out to Walgreens and dropping a Jackson, and you are the ultimate good friend in the dorms when your homegirl comes running over all freaked out and you hand her a cup and a strip and say you don't want to see her for 5 minutes.
posted by crinklebat at 6:50 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you are in college you can probably get the morning after pill and pregnancy tests free.

However, it also think it's unlikely you are pregnant. I had weird random bleeding after losing my virginity a couple of days after the fact. Your body may have been like "OMG" and shorted out.
posted by idle at 7:09 PM on November 29, 2007

The chances of your getting pregnant while taking several precautionary measures are indeed very slim. Women can be hyper-fertile and even when using several forms of birth control, things can still happen.

Sure can. There are many things we do every day that have a very small chance of resulting in an outcome we find totally unthinkable. Few activities raise your chance of accidental like driving in cars, yet most people are willing to accept that risk in exchange for the incredible benefits. Actually cars are a terrible example, because most people will get in to at least a minor accident at some time in their lives. Lets say air travel, which has an extraordinary safety record, but nonetheless does kill people occasionally.

I know it's not the most popular or exciting thing to do, but if the idea of getting pregnant right now really bothers you that much, you do have the choice not to have sex.

Yes, but this seems pretty reactionary. Like never going outside for fear of germs.
posted by phrontist at 7:11 PM on November 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

I don't know how to say this without sounding even gayer than I am. Being sexually active is great thing, and it's even better when you feel in control of your health. Why not celebrate the beginning of your sexual life by seeing a doctor or going to planned parenthood for a check up? Take away the anxiety and start a healthly habit.

God this sounds saccrine, but when I had my first boyfriend, we went together to be tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. I developed a positive (err, good?) attitude toward the local men's health clinic. This took away a lot of anxiety and helped me make healthy decisions about safe sex.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 7:26 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Be sure to use extra lubrication if your getting down that much. Hell, use it every time.
posted by ALongDecember at 7:50 PM on November 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Couple of things. First a quick correction for the record and posterity.

The morning-after pill is considered effective within 72 120 hours of unprotected sex, and the sooner the better.

And then a response

Feel free to roll your eyes or whatever, but I couldn't let this whole thread go without pointing out the only foolproof way to completely avoid what you're going through right now.

The problem with abstinence is that it's only 100% effective if used consistently and correctly. Just like any other contraceptive. And, frankly, that's not what happens in life. Even those with a very strong commitment to abstinence as their choice for pregnancy and STD prevention occasionally slip up--the classic is "Let's just put it in for a second." Or maybe alcohol lowers inhibitions. Or maybe it's not even a person's CHOICE to have sex, you know? I'd rather slip up with a condom on and using contraception than not. I don't know of any studies that show the "typical" failure rate for abstinence.

Condom plus oral contraceptives, with one pill taken late? Very, VERY unlikely you're pregnant, but still possible.
posted by Stewriffic at 8:34 PM on November 29, 2007

And yes, I'm pro-life. Feel free to roll your eyes or whatever, but I couldn't let this whole thread go without pointing out the only foolproof way to completely avoid what you're going through right now.

Did you read the question? Thanks for the agenda, but it's really uncalled for.

Echoing highly highly unlikely, and echoing that it's important to put your mind at rest. Like many women, being on the pill has diminished my period to the point where there's no longer any bleeding. It's great, expect for the fact that I can never be sure I'm not pregnant. I've gotten used to peeing on the stick monthly, and now it provides mental assurance that getting my period used to. It's just a quicker, more efficient way of getting the relief that would come with your period.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 8:41 PM on November 29, 2007

I'm on the pill, he used condoms.

Then it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very unlikely that you are pregant. Wait until you've completed your pill cycle and do your best not to worry about it.

Between-period spotting with the pill is pretty common anyway.

For the first few years that I was having sex, I was pretty freaked out just about every month that I was pregnant. Every little thing my body was doing set off warning bells in my head. I couldn't distinguish between normal functions that I'd had all along and the early pregnancy signs I'd read and heard about. It was all psychological - some combination of the newness of sexual activity and dealing with the possibility of getting pregnant and the normal fluctuations of the female body caused me to flip out at every little tinge.

Rest easy, and watch your pill cycle for your next period. If it doesn't arrive by the time you expect it, get a drugstore kit and test yourself; but don't freak out in the meantime. To get pregnant with both the pill and condoms in proper use is a vanishingly small risk, basically unheard-of; you'd be medical-journal worthy.

Being female does weird things to your head. The risks of sex, the potential consequences, the unpredictable body behaviors, the residuals of the shame and guilt certain sectors of society want you to feel about sex...all of these things can play around in your body and brain and create odd psychosomatic effects and plenty of anxiety. My life experience has been, though, that of all the times I've been panicked that I was pregnant (despite the precautions I used), which were many, I was not pregnant 100% of those times. You probably aren't either. Don't panic unless and until you've missed a period.
posted by Miko at 8:54 PM on November 29, 2007

I don't think anyone has directly answered your question about the spotting being a common experience. The answer is "not really". While not a sign of pregnancy, it could indicate something else (fibroids?, unusual anatomy?). Probably a good idea to talk to someone who is a medical professional, even if just a phone call to a health clinic, just to be sure. Unexplained blood leakage should never stay unexplained.
posted by OlderThanTOS at 9:32 PM on November 29, 2007

Don't trust statistics. Everyone is different. Just to make sure, take the EPT. I got pregnant while on the pill three times. No birth control claims to be 100% effective for a reason. By the way, I don't regret any of my 3 babies. My guess is that some people are just more fertile than others.
posted by wv kay in ga at 9:59 PM on November 29, 2007

Spotting is actually quite common. It's also called breakthrough bleeding, and i had it every month when I was on the pill, for years.

If it were fibroids, she'd likely be having bleeding so heavy and clotty that she'd be fainting from blood loss (hyperbole, but not by much)

So let go of worry for now and yes, get a pregnancy test.
posted by Stewriffic at 10:23 PM on November 29, 2007

I don't think anyone has directly answered your question about the spotting being a common experience.

Actually, I mentioned that.

The answer is "not really"

Actually, it's very common with the Pill, especially for new users.

"Spotting/bleeding while on active pills: very common in the first cycle of pills or if pills are missed or taken late."

"Is it normal to spot or bleed between periods?
Some women experience spotting or bleeding between periods in their first two or three months of pill use as their bodies adjust to the hormones. "

"Bleeding or spotting between periods (breakthrough bleeding) is common during the first three to four months after you start taking any oral contraceptive — particularly when you extend the number of days between periods."

A lot of these sites also point out that even wholly missed periods are somewhat normal on the pill. So even if you miss your period, don't panic, just go to the next step, which is taking an OTC pregnancy test.

I should add two things:

first, that I spot regularly, and I've been on the Pill for years. I've learned it doesn't mean anything.

Second, that the person who can answer all of these questions quite well and efficiently is the gynecologist who prescribed the Pill. Don't ever feel weird calling your GYN to ask about stuff like this; they have conversations like this every day. Just go ahead and call and ask. Oftentimes they can put you right at ease. And if there is by chance something to worry about, they can act on it right away. Asking us is fine to get a wide swath of experience, but your own medical professional, who knows you and knows about your particular prescription, is probably the best go-to on stuff that is bothering you.
posted by Miko at 10:32 PM on November 29, 2007

If it were fibroids, she'd likely be having bleeding so heavy and clotty that she'd be fainting from blood loss (hyperbole, but not by much)

Happened to my mum, and she needed a hysterectomy. She delayed it for YEARS, don't know why - she was so much better afterwards.

I've had the pregnancy scare, and I was even LESS likely to get pregnant than you. So I understand how you're feeling. It is freaky (and it's the main reason why my boyfriend and I haven't progressed to intercourse yet). Thankfully in Australia the morning-after pill is OTC, so that helped calm me. The side effects were minimal, and I actually got my period early, which was a relief. I've done the pee-on-a-stick thing too (when my period came late).

Tried going on the pill, but it made me crazy and depressed, so I stopped. Boyfriend's willing to use condoms but we're still too freaked out.

I think you'll be ok, you're being very smart with precautions. Lots of hugs.
posted by divabat at 12:45 AM on November 30, 2007

could be that your uterus walls are just irritated/rubbed raw from the activity—especially since you were a virgin, obviously your uterus wasn't accustomed to it.

Do you mean her vaginal walls are irritated? Or possibly her cervix?

yeah, vaginal walls. sorry. have been on nasty cold meds the past couple of days and not thinking terribly straight.
posted by violetk at 10:15 AM on November 30, 2007

One of my friends had the same experience. First time sex was very easy, painless, and bloodless... then a couple of days later she was bleeding almost as much as a period. I don't know if she ever got a medical explanation for this, but she definitely wasn't pregnant.
posted by Salamandrous at 10:50 AM on November 30, 2007

Anecdotally, I can tell you that when I have vigorous sex or frequent bouts of sex, I get cramps and bleed. If you lost your virginity, you might have abraded some tissue down there; bleeding is normal. You might also be allergic to the spermicide on the condom, if there was any (this is EXTREMELY common) or to latex (again, fairly common) and that would cause some irritation down there. That coupled with frequent, vigorous sex = uncomfortable peeing, bleeding, etc.

When I had a partner in college with a very large, uh, unit, I frequently got UTIs, bled afterwards, and had pain while urinating. Darn that awesome sex, it had its nasty after-effects. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms; you may be experiencing an allergy, or just simple irritation. While you're there he can test you for the allergy AND give you a pregnancy test. Two birds with one stone!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:53 AM on November 30, 2007

Doubtful you're pregnant. You've just got a really pissed off irritated vagina right now. Invest in lube and use it. Guys aren't usually into using lube but let me tell you, that 3x in a row will feel sooooooo much better afterwards with some good lube. I vote sliquid, that stuff's a lifesaver.
posted by CwgrlUp at 5:12 PM on November 30, 2007