Am I obligated to help my now-distant roommate find a sublessee?

October 31, 2007 1:30 PM

My roommate moved hundreds of miles away. Am I obligated to help find someone to sublease from him?

About a day or two before my roommate moved out of the apartment, he did some work trying to find someone to take over his half of the rent. He found a couple of people on Craigslist, and made a good-faith effort to meet them before he left town, but he had to go without securing a deal with anyone since his flight was already booked.

Now he's indicated that he wants me to facilitate a sublease for him, and has passed it all onto me. He gave my phone number to the prospective Craigslist people and instructed them to call me to set up times that they can come by and look at the apartment.

But hey, I'd like to live alone. And my roommate has said that he would be able to pay the rent for the place he moved into and continue to pay the rent for the apartment here, if need be.

One of the prospective people called me today. Am I obligated to call him back? To arrange a showing? To invite this stranger to live with me, on my far-off roommate's behalf?

posted by John Singer Sandwich to human relations (27 comments total)

Do you like your ex room mate? I'd do him a friendly favour if my ex room mate asked me that.
Is he on the lease? Then he's obligated to pay.
If he's not, then it's up to him.
posted by PowerCat at 1:32 PM on October 31, 2007

Legally, you don't. Morally? Well, depends on how good of a roommate/friend he is.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:35 PM on October 31, 2007

Well, your alternative is that your ex-roommate find some remotely, and then have that person move in with you. How does that alternative sound to you?

Your ex-roommate is definitely not going about this in a considerate manner to you, no; but remember, you're gonna be the one who could suffer when someone moves in.
posted by inigo2 at 1:36 PM on October 31, 2007

Where do you live — city and state?

Is your city's and/or state's ordinances and laws regarding tenancies online? If so, can you provide links?

Your apartment's lease — who's on it? Both you and your roommate, or just you, or just him?
posted by WCityMike at 1:36 PM on October 31, 2007

To clarify: I'm more concerned about the ethics than the legality.
posted by John Singer Sandwich at 1:37 PM on October 31, 2007

And my roommate has said that he would be able to pay the rent for the place he moved into and continue to pay the rent for the apartment here, if need be.

He only said this to be nice.
posted by hermitosis at 1:38 PM on October 31, 2007

You're not legally obligated (which doesn't mean that it won't be a huge pain in the ass for you if he decides not to pay).

If you want to live alone and you think your actions are justified why don't you tell your roommate about it? That would answer any moral dilemmas by either assuring his consent or ending the friendship.
posted by OmieWise at 1:39 PM on October 31, 2007

Oh, well, ethically I think you should make a good faith effort without knocking yourself out. A callback is certainly within that realm. Reposting the ad and dealing with all the back and forth from that might be too much.
posted by OmieWise at 1:40 PM on October 31, 2007

A good field test of ethics is your willingness to be honest about your actions. Are you willing to say to your former roommate, "listen, I'm not going to follow up any sublet candidates because I'd rather live alone and have you continue to pay your portion of the rent"? If not, you probably do not believe that doing so is ethical.

My personal conviction is that you have a responsibility to follow up these sublet candidates and continue to facilitate his search, or else explicitly renegotiate your situation with him: because you did not discuss wanting to live alone and have him continue to assume his responsibility for paying rent, and because you allowed him, without comment, to seek sublet candidates (and to discuss with you following up those candidates after he had to leave) - implicitly endorsing his intention to mitigate his financial liability by subletting.
posted by nanojath at 1:46 PM on October 31, 2007 [4 favorites]

Are you both on the lease? You are both equally obligated to pay the entire rent. Technically, you are not responsible for mitigating damages (finding a new roommate), but it might be in your best interest to do so if you can't pay rent yourself. If you stop paying entirely, your landlord can and will come after one or both of you. Your landlord is not obligated to track down your ex-roommate to collect half--the landlord will go after the party easiest to track down. If that is you, then you in turn would sue the ex-roommate. I think it's pretty shitty of him to just leave you holding the bag and also stick you with all the rest of it. I think you need to hold his feet to the fire a little bit more because if push comes to shove, you are on the hook for the entire rent for the rest of the lease and it really isn't fair to you to get stuck with it while he wanders off to find himself.
posted by 45moore45 at 1:49 PM on October 31, 2007

When is your lease up?
posted by almostmanda at 1:55 PM on October 31, 2007

I don't think you have an ethical duty to bend over backwards for him, but if someone calls wanting to look at the room and they can come over when your schedule permits it, then yeah I think you do have a duty to do that. I don't think you have a duty to put up an ad or to field calls from dozens of people from craigslist, he should do that, but yeah ethically you shouldn't be doing everything in your power to stop him from subleasing the place.

Also, if you are a real ass about it, chances are a few months down the line he may just stop paying and suing him and collecting the money will be a helluva lot more effort than returning some calls.
posted by whoaali at 1:58 PM on October 31, 2007

Don't make it your day job, but also, don't be that dick that won't help the roommate find a sublessee.
posted by notsnot at 2:01 PM on October 31, 2007

More clarification: He is on the lease, and I am not. I know, yikes. I moved in with him (he was a friend of mine) about seven months ago, expecting this arrangement to last until the end of the year, when the lease expires, but as 45moore45 correctly assumed, he did abruptly decide to wander off to find himself.

Living with him had become pretty bad. There is some trust implied in the fact that he and I never followed through on getting me on the lease, but he ended up being openly contemptuous of/hostile towards me on a daily basis. Our friendship is really complicated.
posted by John Singer Sandwich at 2:15 PM on October 31, 2007

If I was your roommate, and I was faced with the choice of continuing to pay the full rent at a place I no longer lived, flaking out on paying the rent, or subletting over the internet at a significant discount on the rent to get someone to rent a place they had never seen in person, there's no way I'd go with the first option.

Not cooperating does not mean you will live alone at your current rent. It's in your best interest to cooperate, aside from the ethics of the matter.
posted by yohko at 2:20 PM on October 31, 2007

Ugh, how complicated.

Well, there's always the not-terribly-ethical, but-it-sounds-as-if-your-housemate-has-been-a-schmuck-so-what's-the-difference option of not paying anymore rent and waiting out the eviction process, since you are probably going to be out of there at year's end anyway.
posted by Scram at 2:22 PM on October 31, 2007

I'd say you are under no obligation to help him, but you are under obligation to tell him the truth. Letting him think you are doing as he asked, but not actually following thru, seems like a straightforward lie of omission.
posted by nomisxid at 2:24 PM on October 31, 2007

If your landlord finds out the original occupant on the lease is gone and you're not an official subletter, you could be evicted immediately. If you were on the lease the landlord could just come after you for all of the rent, but since you're not, it would be charitable of the landlord to even let you keep living there. Does the landlord know you aren't on the lease?
posted by slow graffiti at 3:07 PM on October 31, 2007

If you are not on the lease, you are under no obligation to pay, period. He is a rank idiot for leaving and he is the one of the hook for the entirety of the lease, not you. You are, in effect, a squatter. You have no legal standing staying in the apartment and you have no "right" to bring in another 3rd party who also will have no standing legally. Wow, he must be very ignorant or very trusting...he has left himself to be sued by the landlord for the entire amount left on the lease. I am not saying you need to stick it to him, but if I were you, I'd call the local rent board or even consider moving out and renting somewhere else. This situation is a big can of worms.
posted by 45moore45 at 3:19 PM on October 31, 2007

More clarification: He is on the lease, and I am not.

In that case, if you don't want to move, then you need to tell the landlord and negotiate a new lease ASAP. Otherwise, aside from any rent dramas, he or the landlord can have you evicted.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 3:20 PM on October 31, 2007

* call the local rent board for advice.
posted by 45moore45 at 3:21 PM on October 31, 2007

You think he's actually going to send you the money every month? I find that highly unlikely. It would be in your best interest to find someone tolerable to move in and split the rent.
posted by emd3737 at 3:27 PM on October 31, 2007

Well if he's been an out and out asshole to you, then just weigh the pain of getting a subleaser vs the possibility of being evicted at a moments notice and losing your deposit (assuming he got one from you). But then again I would much rather pick my own roommate than let someone else do it, especially as this guy won't give a damn who moves in there as long as they can pay the rent.
posted by whoaali at 3:28 PM on October 31, 2007

Under what circumstances did he move? If he was transfered with a job, don't they usually buy people out of their leases? If so, is he doing you a favor by not having his lease bought out and allowing you to continue to live there with someone else covering his portion? Did he move as a result of a family emergency? If so, I'd cut the guy so slack. If he moved on a whim or for some other reason that could have been delayed for 5 months, I wouldn't dodge potential roommates but I would take my time and find someone I wanted to live with, rather than the first person willing to move in.

Ethically? Dodging potential roommates and making him pay half the rent is not an option. He's going to ask you if anyone called/emailed, and at that point you are going to have to say lie and deny it, or tell the truth and explain that you didn't follow up. The former isn't ethical and the latter will just cause him to remove you from the equation and find you a new roommate.

Let's say that he didn't find a new roommate, what were your plans once the lease expired in 5 months? Would you find a new place to live? Try to take over the lease on your own? Find a new roommate and take over the lease with them? If you planned to find a new roommate to continue living there, it isn't really right to use your roommate's departure as an excuse to live roommate-free without paying the full rent for the next 5 months.

Are there financial and/or credit issues preventing you from moving out now or taking over the lease yourself now? If you can swing it, and you planned to continue living there long-term, force him to put you on the lease before you find him a new roommate. This will allow you to continue living there long-term without having to cough up a security deposit.
posted by birdlady at 4:52 PM on October 31, 2007

I would advise finding another place to live, not dealing with finding a sub-letter unless you are being paid to do it, both ethically and legally. He left you in the lurch and sounds like he has been an asshole other times.
posted by edgeways at 5:13 PM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

End of the year? It's not worth your trouble to find a subletter for two months. Make him eat the cost.
posted by almostmanda at 7:46 AM on November 1, 2007

Can you pay the whole rent yourself?

But uh get the lease changed to your name, then he won't feel the (justifiable?) need to give the first weirdo with cash a key and a right to YOUR house...

Leaning upon the hope of people behaving as 'good people' is a bad idea in ANY situation, in my opinion.

Also if things were tense before he left why on earth would he pay half the rent so you can live by yourself? You can't force him to - no clauses on a lease. Could you scam/wrangle it out of him... possibly but that will only be until he tires of that game and you wake to find some chucklehead in his knickers eating your cereal and the last of your milk one glorious morning!

Maybe drag it out a little before you get the lease changed over?
posted by mu~ha~ha~ha~har at 5:06 PM on November 1, 2007