Surviving Cancer
May 25, 2004 12:35 PM Subscribe
So I was told I have a little cancer. Which is okay. I've got the treatment/doctor thing covered, and don't really need medical advice. What I'd like to know is if anyone here has gone through the C-word, and if they have a list of things they wish people had told them from the start or ideas/tips that they figured out for themselves to make this easier. Thanks kindly.
Where are you? The US? Which state?
As amberglow said, always get a second opinion--even if you like and trust the doctor who gave you the first opinion.
posted by jpoulos at 12:56 PM on May 25, 2004
As amberglow said, always get a second opinion--even if you like and trust the doctor who gave you the first opinion.
posted by jpoulos at 12:56 PM on May 25, 2004
Response by poster: I'm going in to discuss treatment and such in the next couple days. Today was just the shoulder pat and go home and talk to your family thing. And I'm in Jersey in the Morris County area. Also, before it's asked, I have melanoma. It's a skin cancer.
Um, wear sunblock.
posted by FunkyHelix at 1:16 PM on May 25, 2004
Um, wear sunblock.
posted by FunkyHelix at 1:16 PM on May 25, 2004
I'm sorry to hear that, FunkyHelix. I don't have any helpful advice to give except to stay positive. Hope you heal fast and well - best of luck to you!
posted by widdershins at 1:35 PM on May 25, 2004
posted by widdershins at 1:35 PM on May 25, 2004
If it was caught relatively early, melanoma is not a big deal. My sister had one on her nose -- that's what you get for being a lifeguard. Snip snip, all gone, no worries, not even much of a scar.
So don't let the C-word scare you too much, I guess I'm saying.
posted by ook at 2:05 PM on May 25, 2004
So don't let the C-word scare you too much, I guess I'm saying.
posted by ook at 2:05 PM on May 25, 2004
I'm sorry to hear it too, FunkyHelix. I've been 7 years cancer-free (I had thyroid cancer). One tip is to read up as much as you feel you need to know to be informed in such a way that's comfortable and useful for you. (There wasn't much out there about thyroid cancer at the time, but I would guess there's much more about skin cancers.) If you're someone who's genuinely fascinated about the medical/science side of things (as I was), you've got a different information tolerance level than someone who's more interested in the basic facts and treatment options.
Wherever you fall on that spectrum, you have the right to have that information-level respected by your doctors and loved ones. If you want to know more from your doc, for example, don't feel shy about asking questions or asking for good research sources. If hearing about cellular mutations makes you feel like throwing up, don't feel shy about asking your spouse/friend/cousin/whomever to back off from sending you every scientific study.
The c-word is scary, no matter how you parse it, even for the "high cure" ones like melanoma and thryoid cancer. You absolutely don't have to feel freaked out about it, certainly, but it's also just as true that you may very well feel freaked out and [Stuart Smalley] that's okay [/S. Smalley] I had some people in my life who were very cool about letting me talk about my fears/worries/anger, etc. -- but I also had people who, frankly, utterly failed me in this regard. Some people will be there for you (whether you need to rage or cry or complain or laugh or go to a baseball game and ignore the problem for a few hours). Some people will not -- they will be uncomfortable with the very difficult, complex feelings (yours and their own) that this can produce, and they may try to get you to be quiet (or, conversely, they may try to get you to cry and get angry all the time, even when you just feel like going to the afore-mentioned ballgame). You may be surprised who winds up falling into these camps -- and I earnestly hope that you're pleasantly surprised at how many people really do come through like champs.
On a related note, it may also be worth it (if you're so inclined) to ask your doctor (or search online yourself) for skin cancer support groups. Similarly, you may want to see a therapist of some stripe -- again, if you're so inclined, it can be very helpful.
On a more practical level, it's a good idea to figure out ahead of time what kind of day-to-day help you'll need while going through treatment -- that way, when friends and family offer to help, you can suggest concrete things, like bringing over dinner, walking the dog, going to the grocery store, etc. This will depend, of course, on how long and serious the treatment is (i.e., which combination of surgery/radiation/chemo will you be undergoing) and what kind of side affects to expect. Again, don't be shy in asking doctors and nurses for this kind of information -- you need it to be prepared both mentally and practically.
Finally, if you're having chemo, eating can be difficult (nausea, lost appetite, etc.) -- I recall finding some great suggestions on the Mayo Clinic website for ways to make food more appealing. I'll look for it and post the link here if you'd like.
Sorry to ramble on. Feel free to email me if I can be of further help.
posted by scody at 2:15 PM on May 25, 2004
Wherever you fall on that spectrum, you have the right to have that information-level respected by your doctors and loved ones. If you want to know more from your doc, for example, don't feel shy about asking questions or asking for good research sources. If hearing about cellular mutations makes you feel like throwing up, don't feel shy about asking your spouse/friend/cousin/whomever to back off from sending you every scientific study.
The c-word is scary, no matter how you parse it, even for the "high cure" ones like melanoma and thryoid cancer. You absolutely don't have to feel freaked out about it, certainly, but it's also just as true that you may very well feel freaked out and [Stuart Smalley] that's okay [/S. Smalley] I had some people in my life who were very cool about letting me talk about my fears/worries/anger, etc. -- but I also had people who, frankly, utterly failed me in this regard. Some people will be there for you (whether you need to rage or cry or complain or laugh or go to a baseball game and ignore the problem for a few hours). Some people will not -- they will be uncomfortable with the very difficult, complex feelings (yours and their own) that this can produce, and they may try to get you to be quiet (or, conversely, they may try to get you to cry and get angry all the time, even when you just feel like going to the afore-mentioned ballgame). You may be surprised who winds up falling into these camps -- and I earnestly hope that you're pleasantly surprised at how many people really do come through like champs.
On a related note, it may also be worth it (if you're so inclined) to ask your doctor (or search online yourself) for skin cancer support groups. Similarly, you may want to see a therapist of some stripe -- again, if you're so inclined, it can be very helpful.
On a more practical level, it's a good idea to figure out ahead of time what kind of day-to-day help you'll need while going through treatment -- that way, when friends and family offer to help, you can suggest concrete things, like bringing over dinner, walking the dog, going to the grocery store, etc. This will depend, of course, on how long and serious the treatment is (i.e., which combination of surgery/radiation/chemo will you be undergoing) and what kind of side affects to expect. Again, don't be shy in asking doctors and nurses for this kind of information -- you need it to be prepared both mentally and practically.
Finally, if you're having chemo, eating can be difficult (nausea, lost appetite, etc.) -- I recall finding some great suggestions on the Mayo Clinic website for ways to make food more appealing. I'll look for it and post the link here if you'd like.
Sorry to ramble on. Feel free to email me if I can be of further help.
posted by scody at 2:15 PM on May 25, 2004
FunkyHelix, sorry to hear about this. Besides wishing you get well. Notice you blogged it. Good for you, putting this challenge in your life out in the open.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:25 PM on May 25, 2004
posted by thomcatspike at 2:25 PM on May 25, 2004
Hmm, the Mayo Clinic site's been redesigned so I can't find their section on tips for eating/managing side effects during treatment, but this from the UC-San Diego Hospitals looks very thorough and informative (scroll down and find the section titled "eating tips for cancer patients" on the right -- for some reason, I can only link to the more general colon cancer part of the site).
posted by scody at 2:37 PM on May 25, 2004
posted by scody at 2:37 PM on May 25, 2004
Rather late now, but I do recall some medical study which showed that remaining upbeat and confident helped recovery and treatment. Maybe not exactly what you want to hear.
(Hugs again. <3)
posted by hugsnkisses at 3:15 PM on May 25, 2004
(Hugs again. <3)
posted by hugsnkisses at 3:15 PM on May 25, 2004
Don't hesitate to ask your friends for favors and help. They will want to be of service and it will make them feel better too. (Never had cancer, but have had friends who have.)
posted by konolia at 3:49 PM on May 25, 2004
posted by konolia at 3:49 PM on May 25, 2004
From your post here and your blog entry, I get the impression that it seems like a smallish spot/area, and that it will be surgically removed, is that right?
My father went through something like that (a melanoma on his forearm) about ten years ago, no problems, complications, or recurrences. I don't wish to offend by offering comparisons, I only offer it in hopes that it will give you some reassurance. Hopefully this will be a non-issue for you after surgery/treatment.
I agree with the suggestions above about figuring out your treatment schedule, and what kind of help you will need at that time (babysitting, meals, grocery shopping, a ride to the doc, light housekeeping, and the all important ballgame, movie, or whatever relaxation). From being in a caretaker's position through several family members' illnesses, I find that folks have a hard time just coming over or just calling, but if they are given a purpose they usually will come through for you with flying colors.
Good luck!
posted by vignettist at 4:11 PM on May 25, 2004
My father went through something like that (a melanoma on his forearm) about ten years ago, no problems, complications, or recurrences. I don't wish to offend by offering comparisons, I only offer it in hopes that it will give you some reassurance. Hopefully this will be a non-issue for you after surgery/treatment.
I agree with the suggestions above about figuring out your treatment schedule, and what kind of help you will need at that time (babysitting, meals, grocery shopping, a ride to the doc, light housekeeping, and the all important ballgame, movie, or whatever relaxation). From being in a caretaker's position through several family members' illnesses, I find that folks have a hard time just coming over or just calling, but if they are given a purpose they usually will come through for you with flying colors.
Good luck!
posted by vignettist at 4:11 PM on May 25, 2004
My aunt has had 2 cut out already, and the rest of us are always on the lookout for em...i heard they can freeze em off too sometimes, if they're small enough. Get used to doing freckle/mole checks from now on, funky. And this page might help, medical wise, for definitions and stuff
posted by amberglow at 4:23 PM on May 25, 2004
posted by amberglow at 4:23 PM on May 25, 2004
I had a melanoma. I can't really give you any advise, I can only tell you what happened to me. The melanoma was excised, and the labs told them that they may not have gotten it all, so they did a second excision. The excisions were weird, but not horrible, as you would imagine. They made me get a chest xray, because one of the places that melanomas sometimes end up is in your lungs. For many years I had to go to dermatologists to get every inch of skin checked. They also checked my lymph nodes. It's been a long time now and I'm fine. It turned out that mine was not very advanced.
The worst part of the whole thing turned out to be that I had the second excision on the day of the Ramones concert, which turned out to be their last tour. I almost went, even though I had a big bandage on the side of my head. That was a real disappointment.
posted by free pie at 5:36 PM on May 25, 2004
The worst part of the whole thing turned out to be that I had the second excision on the day of the Ramones concert, which turned out to be their last tour. I almost went, even though I had a big bandage on the side of my head. That was a real disappointment.
posted by free pie at 5:36 PM on May 25, 2004
FunkyHelix, my mom has had skin cancer removed several times from her neck, while it has yet to be anything more serious than a few trips to the specialists, she's been been put on the watch since I was about nine, after her second operation (her last trip was about three years ago).
So, what I have to say is this, as hokey as of course it will sound: be as honest about it as you can with the kids in your life, if there are any.
I'm not saying graphic details, or doom and gloom are at all neceessary. But kids *know* when you're lying or hiding something from them, and that will scare them more than anything you might actually have to say (crazy imaginations and all). I'm very very thankful for how upfront my parents were then, and continue to be with me and my siblings. It made it easier when it was something we could talk about openly as a family.
Also, what scody said!
posted by nelleish at 7:37 PM on May 25, 2004
So, what I have to say is this, as hokey as of course it will sound: be as honest about it as you can with the kids in your life, if there are any.
I'm not saying graphic details, or doom and gloom are at all neceessary. But kids *know* when you're lying or hiding something from them, and that will scare them more than anything you might actually have to say (crazy imaginations and all). I'm very very thankful for how upfront my parents were then, and continue to be with me and my siblings. It made it easier when it was something we could talk about openly as a family.
Also, what scody said!
posted by nelleish at 7:37 PM on May 25, 2004
There are a lot of good resources online, I am not a survivor but I hope I can help.
The Cancer Information Service is a free information and education network sponsored by the NIH. "People who call the CIS receive accurate and thorough answers to their questions from professionals specially trained to translate the latest scientific information into understandable language. Providing confidential, personalized attention to each caller, CIS staff address ways to prevent cancer, information on screening and early detection, diagnosis, current treatment options, and research studies and advances."
They will help with news related to cancer and make it understandable no matter what your scientific background.
M. D. Anderson Cancer Center has a website where you can "ask the expert", a message board with rotating topics where you can ask questions and have them answered by leading experts in the field. Right now it's cancers of the bladder, kidney and prostate, but they change regularly. It's fairly new, but there is a lot of info on lung cancer.
Ask at the hospital you're going to also, they will likely have some classes about what to expect, and what you can do to make things easier. They are a good resource people under-utilize.
And once you beat it you can always help others, or continue to get support. Here is a Cancer Survivor Board.
posted by rhyax at 11:46 PM on May 25, 2004
The Cancer Information Service is a free information and education network sponsored by the NIH. "People who call the CIS receive accurate and thorough answers to their questions from professionals specially trained to translate the latest scientific information into understandable language. Providing confidential, personalized attention to each caller, CIS staff address ways to prevent cancer, information on screening and early detection, diagnosis, current treatment options, and research studies and advances."
They will help with news related to cancer and make it understandable no matter what your scientific background.
M. D. Anderson Cancer Center has a website where you can "ask the expert", a message board with rotating topics where you can ask questions and have them answered by leading experts in the field. Right now it's cancers of the bladder, kidney and prostate, but they change regularly. It's fairly new, but there is a lot of info on lung cancer.
Ask at the hospital you're going to also, they will likely have some classes about what to expect, and what you can do to make things easier. They are a good resource people under-utilize.
And once you beat it you can always help others, or continue to get support. Here is a Cancer Survivor Board.
posted by rhyax at 11:46 PM on May 25, 2004
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Are you doing chemo? Are they cutting it out? What's the deal?
posted by amberglow at 12:48 PM on May 25, 2004