Make my dogs and baby get along

September 25, 2007 2:44 PM

Mrs In_Oz is pregnant. We have two good natured, but enormous wolf-hound cross mastiff dogs. Since we have a bit of time up our sleeves, is there anything that we can do to assist in the inevitable integration of baby to beast?

A little more detail on the dogs. One is a de-sexed bitch, about 6 years old. Independent, very affectionate, quite tolerant. The other is a 2 year-old desexed male. Very clingy, occasionally excitable, can be a little flighty. The male is the bigger of the two. If he were to get up on his hind legs, he would be able to put his paws on my shoulders and we would, literally, be eye to eye.

The have been introduced some of our friends' babies recently and have reacted with either disinterest or with respectful fascination.

What steps should we be taking either now, when the baby is born or thereafter to keep the peace?

ps: No matter how much we love the dogs, they are dogs and will never be left unsupervised with our or any other kids. Just wanted to make that clear.

posted by tim_in_oz to pets & animals (14 comments total)

Don't know if it really helps or not, but one thing we did was bring home a blanket or something that smells of the baby first (from the hospital) and then, when we did bring the baby into the house, we made sure the dog was there first so it wasn't like the dog came home one day and found a new person up in her space.
We also put a baby blanket on the floor and taught the dog not to step on it, that it was not her space, and now it's a lot easier if we have the baby playing on the floor, the dog knows not to walk on the blanket.
posted by mattbucher at 2:49 PM on September 25, 2007

If the baby is going to require some areas of your home that the dogs currently have free reign over to be restricted, start enforcing those restrictions now. Whether it's cutting them off from sleeping in your room (or in your bed) and restricting access to your future nursery/baby's room, start doing it now so it's not a sudden shock when baby comes home.

If the dogs jump up a lot, you also might want to try & break them of that habit since you don't want them jumping up on your baby's high chair or jumping on you when you're holding the baby.

Usually if your dogs are good with non-family babies, they will be pretty good with your baby since they will come to view it as part of their pack.

Good luck & many congratulations!
posted by tastybrains at 2:55 PM on September 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

We had two large dogs (black lab crosses) with our first. Some of the things we did:

-brought home clothing/blankets/caps from the hospital so the smell was somewhat familiar (as mentioned by mattbucher);
-took the dogs for walks with the stroller before the baby was born, so that the dogs were used to its presence on a walk;
-taught the dogs to stay out of baby's space (again, mattbucher mentions this) and we also taught the baby, once crawling, to stay away from the dogs spaces (their baskets). That way the dogs can go somewhere when they wish to be left alone.
-took baby away when the little hands started pulling at tails and ears - praising the dogs for their patience when we did so, while at the same time trying to teach baby that those aren't good places to pull (gets much easier when baby understands the word "no")
-had an area for feeding the dogs that we could isolate, so that we didn't have to worry about baby trying for a food dish or bone;
-tried to maintain some time that was exclusively for the dogs to be walked or played with by either me or Ms. shoes (this was important for the first few months; now the little guy is becoming a part of those times)

These seem to have worked fairly well - our now 2 year old is quite comfortable with the dogs, and they with him - they avoid his toys, and he is learning to throw their balls. I'm not sure how we settled the toy ownership question with either the dogs or the little guy, but they seem quite clear on what is a dog toy and what isn't.

Our local Humane Society ran a course for expecting parents with pets - it had some good ideas and some tips on dealing with problem animal behaviour (e.g., jumping up). I would suggest contacting yours and seeing if they do something similar.

Congratulations on your impending little In_Oz!
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:06 PM on September 25, 2007

I don't have a baby, but on many dog forums I've frequented over the years, I've consistently heard good recommendations for the book Childproofing Your Dog.

Good luck!
posted by misskaz at 3:18 PM on September 25, 2007

We found this book to be very helpful when introducing our newborn to our two dog household. The title over-promises in using the word "-proofing" but otherwise, the advice was sound. I also liked how several chapters of the book focus on training young children (obviously, not infants) how to behave around dogs—it is, afterall, a two way relationship. We started working with our dogs to prep for the baby's arrival several months in advance.

One of our dogs, the male, sulked for six months after the baby's arrival. He never showed aggression to our son or any other children but he definitely was out of sorts about the new addition despite being given all sorts of extra exercise and attention. The best solution for him was to give him a baby-free retreat in a corner of the master bedroom closet (a coveted spot, in his mind) where he could retire at will. All was forgiven once our son started on solids and the impromptu treats started raining down from the high chair.
posted by jamaro at 3:19 PM on September 25, 2007

Preparing Fido sells CD's of various baby sounds to get your dogs used to the new noises. I haven't used it myself, but I though the idea might be a sound one.

Sound idea. Compact disks. Ha ha.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 3:35 PM on September 25, 2007

We a Doberman before we had kiddies and it never crossed our minds to be concerned, then or later. Bigger dogs might be more tolerant of the grubs than smaller dogs who might feel more threatened.

Our children crawled over the dog, pulled her ears, slobbered on her. When the dog had enough, she got up and moved away.

Don't try to pin this on the dog being female, either, as she was the world's worst mother herself when she had pups. Man, I miss that dog.
posted by trinity8-director at 4:09 PM on September 25, 2007

Childproofing Your Dog is a great place to start. Another thing that can help is buying a baby sized doll and carry it around like a real baby to make it part of a routine. Encourage proper behavior when you are carrying a baby around so you can do something about possible problems like the dog constantly getting underfoot when you can't see where you're going, or whether they will be intrigued by the bundle and jump up, whether extended time with something else causes any jealousy, etc.

This may seem like a no-brainer but it has happened that parents overeager to get their dogs friendly with the fake baby have allowed them to bite, shake, or play tug with the doll. I can only tell you that this is begging for trouble.
posted by hindmost at 4:25 PM on September 25, 2007

Just as general words of encouragement: We had a 200lb. mastiff who was a great guard dog when I was growing up, and while my mother was providing in-home daycare for a number of the neighborhood kids. We all used to climb all over him -- he was a great fort and an awesome pillow when watching tv -- and half the time he never even lifted his head up.
posted by occhiblu at 5:15 PM on September 25, 2007

Before the LittleMissMoonPie entered the world, our Buster, who was otherwise sweet and gentle, hated children. No matter what we tried, he’d always try to attack any little ankle-biter who ventured into his realm. In every other occasion, he was quite precise in his obeying his human masters, but, for some reason, he considered children to be his sworn enemies. Just before the LittleMissMoonPie’s birth, I actually made arrangements for Buster’s deportation to other abodes.

However, something rather miraculous happened. I took great care in introducing the LittleMissMoonPie to the dog—trying not to communicate fear to the dog, but keeping myself between his formidable jaws and her tender little head. Buster sniffed carefully (respectfully?) around her, then lay down.

I think, before that moment, he didn’t quite know that children were, you know, people. I guess he could smell the LittleMissMoonPie’s relation to me, or, at least, could sense the absolute necessity of his needing to respect her place in the pack.

Whatever it was, he suddenly developed a tolerance of all children. Oh, sure, like you, I swore that the dog would “never be left unsupervised with our or any other kids.” You’ll try, sure, but, one day, the phone will ring. Your Buster will be in another room, and you’ll step away, only for a moment. In that moment, your child will find the dog’s chew toy, and, coincidentally, your dog will wander into the room. If you’re lucky, as we were, when you return you’ll find you child happily chewing on a dog-slobber-covered rawhide, and your dog looking balefully, but docilely, on. But you will leave your dog unsupervised with your kids. Not for long, not often, no, but if you can’t trust your dog unsupervised, you should not keep your dog.
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:40 PM on September 25, 2007

Very helpful suggestions, everyone. Well, the suggestion emailed to me to smear the child in barbeque sauce probably wasn't that helpful, even if it would result in a very rapid integration of the baby and the dog.
posted by tim_in_oz at 7:47 PM on September 25, 2007

I know when I was born my parents got rid of their dog, because the pediatrician said while he was sure that the dog would be fine around me and protect me as I was part of the family, as I got older and started to play "rough" with other kids, think toddlers rolling around, he had heard of cases of dogs attacking the friends to protect "his" baby. So that is one thing you may want to keep in mind.
posted by whoaali at 10:07 PM on September 25, 2007

Our dog was kind and gentle, loved and nurtured to respect the new baby. We did all the things mentioned above, more or less. It went well until the dog bit the baby in the face. Hard. While sitting at my feet. So there is that.
Please don't let your baby near your dogs. These are animals.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 10:58 PM on September 25, 2007

First, remember that it is never, ever, ever safe to leave a child alone with a dog. I know all kinds of people do it, just as I know people believe in the Lassie myth, but it is simply not fair, and this is how children end up getting bitten. Do not place the dog in a position where it might have to defend itself, and do not place the child in a position where it might get bitten. If you are not in direct control of the dogs, then either crate the dogs or take the child with you (if your dogs are not crate trained, now is the time to start that - do it kindly and gradually as described in the better puppy training books like those by Ian Dunbar). Do not underestimate how threatening and/or stimulating a child can be to a dog, you do not want to end up with an injured child and I'm sure you also don't want to end up with a dead dog, which is usually what happens to dogs who bite kids.

Do not suddenly change the amount of time you spend with the dogs when the baby comes home, and make sure that you will still have time to adequately exercise, play with and train the dogs when the child is home. Well-exercised, well-trained dogs who get adequate time with their owners are less likely to have a problem with the baby. The dogs should not suddenly become expendable things which do not need any time and attention simply because you have a baby, you need to make plans now for making sure that doesn't happen and you need to start making adjustments to your lifestyle now so that you minimize the disruptions once the baby comes home, it's better to have changes happen gradually rather than all at once, this will minimize the stress for both you and your dogs.

Read the baby-proofing your dogs books (also remember to dog-proof your child when it is old enough, so that it learns how to properly interact with the dog), and remember that it is NEVER safe to leave a child alone with a dog, until the child is old enough to understand and reliably implement appropriate behaviour and interactions with the dogs (and this also means not allowing the "climbing all over" the dog, pulling the dog's ears, etc. behaviours - such things are not cute, nor are they reasonable treatment for the dog, they are often what precedes a bite, which usually precedes a one-way trip to the vet).
posted by biscotti at 6:04 AM on September 26, 2007