Shopping for a tombstone

September 10, 2007 3:34 PM

I'm looking for advice on buying a tombstone in the NYC metro area, specifically, alternatives to purchasing from the Sprung Monument Group.

My friend's mother died last October, and he and his father are now looking at monument options. She is buried in a conservative Jewish cemetery just outside of NYC, and the cemetery has specific sizing requirements for the monuments.

After getting gravestone vendor referrals from the funeral home and the cemetery, they've discovered that all of the vendors are subsidiaries of the same company- the Sprung Monument Group, and the price is very high and pretty much the same for all vendors.

Before they make a decision, they would like to explore options outside of this company. Does anyone have any recommendations, advice, or experiences in navigating this "market" ?

posted by kimdog to Shopping (4 answers total)

Funeral Consumer's Alliance of New York will want $40 to give you a lifetime of advice about affordable funeral arrangements and discounts with participating vendors. I've never used them or any other FCA, nor do I know anyone who has but they were heavily pimped in The American Way of Death. I have no way of knowing if it would be $40 well spent in this or any case. I'm normally skeptical of "Give us money so we can show you how to make/save money" arrangements. Perhaps someone else can vouch for (or warn you away from) them?
posted by Martin E. at 4:27 PM on September 10, 2007

Oh, the book linked was purported to be an expose of the American funeral-stone-burial-cremation industry and some of the less-than-admirable practices such as the one you're observing (a local monopoly that isn't obvious at first glance, plus price gouging under the illusion of robust local competition). According to the last chapter, the FCA is meant to be an organization that brings together savvy consumers and indie-vendors that don't price-gouge. As mentioned, I have no experience to gauge whether or not they live up to the hype.
posted by Martin E. at 5:01 PM on September 10, 2007

You could possibly email the user ColdChef, who works in this industry though not in NY. He might have some advice.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:55 AM on September 11, 2007

Full disclosure: I work for an FCA affiliate organization.

It's probably too late to make any difference now, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. (And to set the record straight: Mitford wasn't exactly "pimping" us, Martin.) :-P

If this issue or anything like it comes up in the future, I'd strongly recommend contacting either the FCA itself or one of the affiliates. While I can't speak directly for FCA NY, I can't imagine that they would charge for any information or advice they could provide. You don't have to be a member to call us. As a matter of fact, a large percentage of our calls come from non-members who've recently suffered a loss and are completely unprepared for or overwhelmed by the decisions they're about to make.

As for the specific issue at hand:

1. Shop around, both near and far. The telephone, a phone book, and Google can save you a bundle. I know of people who were in Kansas, bought a stone from Washington, and had it delivered to Arizona.

2. BEFORE buying the stone, ask the cemetery for their rules, regulations, requirements, specifications, et al. AND MAKE SURE YOU GET THOSE THINGS IN WRITING! Be sure to buy within those specs. If a cemetery is looking to make money on both the grave and the stone, they are not going to make it easy for you to shop elsewhere. Be prepared to be sweet, but insistent.

Some links that may prove handy: here and here.
posted by Vavuzi at 10:14 PM on September 18, 2007