How can I be a normal to low moderate person?
June 19, 2007 3:19 PM Subscribe
First time booze drinker, I'm scared so please help me.
I'm a 23 year old girl who grew up in a conservative mormon family and never saw my parents drink once in my life.
Last night, for the first time in my life, I drank. I ended up consuming 12 shots of vodka and got really drunk. A lot of craziness ensued and I did more than a few things I regret, including an extended makeout with another girl, even though I'm totally straight.
Although at my essential core, I remained in control of my actions, my inhibitions were gone and EVERYTHING seemed like a good idea. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this feeling.
I have no adult role models who I can turn to or ask questions about alcohol (all mormon teetotalers), so I'm turning to the green.
1)I think I want to drink again, but I don't want to do crazy stuff like lesbian makeouts every time I drink. What's the best way to be moderate?
2)How much is too much? As in how many nights a week have you found it is ok in your personal life to drinK? How can I not become an alcoholic short of never drinking again?
3)Effective tips for regulating yourself when tipsy? How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
4)Anything else? I don't even know what to ask. I'm confused and I don't know what a normal healthy adults drinking life is like.
I'm a 23 year old girl who grew up in a conservative mormon family and never saw my parents drink once in my life.
Last night, for the first time in my life, I drank. I ended up consuming 12 shots of vodka and got really drunk. A lot of craziness ensued and I did more than a few things I regret, including an extended makeout with another girl, even though I'm totally straight.
Although at my essential core, I remained in control of my actions, my inhibitions were gone and EVERYTHING seemed like a good idea. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this feeling.
I have no adult role models who I can turn to or ask questions about alcohol (all mormon teetotalers), so I'm turning to the green.
1)I think I want to drink again, but I don't want to do crazy stuff like lesbian makeouts every time I drink. What's the best way to be moderate?
2)How much is too much? As in how many nights a week have you found it is ok in your personal life to drinK? How can I not become an alcoholic short of never drinking again?
3)Effective tips for regulating yourself when tipsy? How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
4)Anything else? I don't even know what to ask. I'm confused and I don't know what a normal healthy adults drinking life is like.
Effective tips for regulating yourself when tipsy? How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
Know when to stop. Drink moderately --- a few drinks in an evening --- and you shouldn't have a problem.
You'll learn what your limits are, just by drinking.
posted by jayder at 3:32 PM on June 19, 2007
Know when to stop. Drink moderately --- a few drinks in an evening --- and you shouldn't have a problem.
You'll learn what your limits are, just by drinking.
posted by jayder at 3:32 PM on June 19, 2007
Hi. I started drinking when I was a teenager and have gone through very heavy and very light periods. I'm in my mid twenties, and like to have a beer or two every now and then, and like to get pretty drunk every now and then. Drunk for me is usually quite in control of my actions, however.
to answer your questions...
1. drink in moderation. it will take a while for you to learn how different amounts of alcohol affect your body. have one drink. have two. realize that, the more you drink, the more you want to drink. it can be hard to remember to stop until two or three or four drinks after you should have stopped. twelve shots of vodka is a lot. try fewer...
2. um... it varies. i don't think there's a steady number, you know? the questions for me have been, why have i been choosing to drink? is it a crutch for a social life? for a sex life? does my idea of fun only include drinking, or can i have fun without drinking? what am i like when i drink? am i still a person who can be relied on and trusted? am i breaking promises and commitments in order to go out drinking? i think it's easy to see how some answers to those questions can be pretty negative. on the flip side, i currently have friends who like to drink, and we like to do a lot of stuff together... happy hours, or going out to the events that we like to be a part of - and drinking - is a lot of fun.
then again... those times when i was getting Very Drunk three, four, five times a week... well, that was too much.
3. take it slow. as you build your tolerance, you will (or, perhaps, SHOULD) learn how to stay in control even when drunk. while sober, you should think about the things you do when you're drunk, and ask yourself if that's a person who you like. i've definitely done things while drunk that i haven't liked. it's caused me to reassess me priorities. it's caused me to be smarter while drinking - to be more responsible.
feel free to bounce more questions off me. i like drinking, but also respect non-drinkers. i think that the people i know who bag about getting blackout drunk and doing the stupidest shit while drunk are, well, foolish, but i also know that sometimes, i'm drawing a pretty arbitrary line between myself and them.
posted by entropone at 3:35 PM on June 19, 2007
to answer your questions...
1. drink in moderation. it will take a while for you to learn how different amounts of alcohol affect your body. have one drink. have two. realize that, the more you drink, the more you want to drink. it can be hard to remember to stop until two or three or four drinks after you should have stopped. twelve shots of vodka is a lot. try fewer...
2. um... it varies. i don't think there's a steady number, you know? the questions for me have been, why have i been choosing to drink? is it a crutch for a social life? for a sex life? does my idea of fun only include drinking, or can i have fun without drinking? what am i like when i drink? am i still a person who can be relied on and trusted? am i breaking promises and commitments in order to go out drinking? i think it's easy to see how some answers to those questions can be pretty negative. on the flip side, i currently have friends who like to drink, and we like to do a lot of stuff together... happy hours, or going out to the events that we like to be a part of - and drinking - is a lot of fun.
then again... those times when i was getting Very Drunk three, four, five times a week... well, that was too much.
3. take it slow. as you build your tolerance, you will (or, perhaps, SHOULD) learn how to stay in control even when drunk. while sober, you should think about the things you do when you're drunk, and ask yourself if that's a person who you like. i've definitely done things while drunk that i haven't liked. it's caused me to reassess me priorities. it's caused me to be smarter while drinking - to be more responsible.
feel free to bounce more questions off me. i like drinking, but also respect non-drinkers. i think that the people i know who bag about getting blackout drunk and doing the stupidest shit while drunk are, well, foolish, but i also know that sometimes, i'm drawing a pretty arbitrary line between myself and them.
posted by entropone at 3:35 PM on June 19, 2007
oh, also:
the amount of food you have in your body affects how well your body handles alcohol. alcohol on an empty stomach is not a good idea at all. alcohol during and after a big meal (or, as i like it, a day full of big meals)? much smarter.
also, alcohol dehydrates you. drinking water throughout an evening of drinking is a good idea; it's still likely that you'll wake up dehydrated, which makes a hangover even worse.
posted by entropone at 3:37 PM on June 19, 2007
the amount of food you have in your body affects how well your body handles alcohol. alcohol on an empty stomach is not a good idea at all. alcohol during and after a big meal (or, as i like it, a day full of big meals)? much smarter.
also, alcohol dehydrates you. drinking water throughout an evening of drinking is a good idea; it's still likely that you'll wake up dehydrated, which makes a hangover even worse.
posted by entropone at 3:37 PM on June 19, 2007
Last night, for the first time in my life, I drank. I ended up consuming 12 shots of vodka and got really drunk.
FWIW -- 12 shots of vodka (or any straight liquor) is quite a bit -- especially for a "first timer." Just be aware of your consumption. Different people have different levels of tolerance for alcohol and its variants (e.g. beer, liquor, wine, etc.). Body weight factors into it. Go slowly. Also, whether or not you have food in your stomach can make a difference. When feeling unwanted tipsyness, switch to drinking water.
posted by ericb at 3:37 PM on June 19, 2007
FWIW -- 12 shots of vodka (or any straight liquor) is quite a bit -- especially for a "first timer." Just be aware of your consumption. Different people have different levels of tolerance for alcohol and its variants (e.g. beer, liquor, wine, etc.). Body weight factors into it. Go slowly. Also, whether or not you have food in your stomach can make a difference. When feeling unwanted tipsyness, switch to drinking water.
posted by ericb at 3:37 PM on June 19, 2007
First, always remember: beer then liquor, never sicker. Liquor then beer, never fear. That said, mixing your liquors is generally a recipe for disaster. Also, shots = evil. Nothing good can come from doing 12 shots. Trust me on this one.
Stay away from drinks with novelty names, or more than three ingredients (gin and tonic = OK. Martini = OK. "Sex on the beach" = ummmm, nope)
In my long and storied (at least in my head) drinking career, the time when I think "wow, a shot seems like a good idea!" is the time when I should put the booze down for the night and get a burrito. Or just go home.
How much is too much? As in how many nights a week have you found it is ok in your personal life to drinK? How can I not become an alcoholic short of never drinking again?
There's drinking, and then there's Drinking. If you consume 12 shots every time you drink, you've got problems; but if you crack open a beer or two after work I don't think you'll have anything to worry about.
I think I want to drink again, but I don't want to do crazy stuff like lesbian makeouts every time I drink. What's the best way to be moderate?
Drinking is not about how much you can throw down in a short time frame, it's about how long you can sustain a pleasant buzz - you have to find that sweet spot, and not charge right through it on the way to puking at the end of the night.
Bottom line is, pace yourself and don't feel obligated to pound more drinks than you think you can handle.
posted by pdb at 3:41 PM on June 19, 2007
Stay away from drinks with novelty names, or more than three ingredients (gin and tonic = OK. Martini = OK. "Sex on the beach" = ummmm, nope)
In my long and storied (at least in my head) drinking career, the time when I think "wow, a shot seems like a good idea!" is the time when I should put the booze down for the night and get a burrito. Or just go home.
How much is too much? As in how many nights a week have you found it is ok in your personal life to drinK? How can I not become an alcoholic short of never drinking again?
There's drinking, and then there's Drinking. If you consume 12 shots every time you drink, you've got problems; but if you crack open a beer or two after work I don't think you'll have anything to worry about.
I think I want to drink again, but I don't want to do crazy stuff like lesbian makeouts every time I drink. What's the best way to be moderate?
Drinking is not about how much you can throw down in a short time frame, it's about how long you can sustain a pleasant buzz - you have to find that sweet spot, and not charge right through it on the way to puking at the end of the night.
Bottom line is, pace yourself and don't feel obligated to pound more drinks than you think you can handle.
posted by pdb at 3:41 PM on June 19, 2007
1. Pace yourself. Getting drunk is not a race. Have two drinks in your first hour, and another drink every hour to keep your buzz. Going beyond this is asking for trouble if you'd like to have a relaxed, laid back evening and have no regrets the following day. Also, there's nothing wrong with a lesbian makeout, drunk or otherwise. It's a safe and enjoyable way to liven up the evening.
2. Don't drink to get drunk. Drink to have a good time with friends, and don't drink alone. Alcoholism is largely an American invention, devised because we aren't taught to drink properly and in moderation. If you don't drink to get drunk and you practice proper self control, alcoholism will never be something you have to worry about.
3. You've probably had it drilled into your head that when drinking, you naturally act crazy and stupid. This is wrong, there is nothing preventing you from keeping your composure even when intoxicated. Also, see 1.
4. Don't drink cheap booze, it reflects badly on you. Learn to appreciate quality beer, wine, and spirits. Visit your library and get a book about wine, a book about beer, and go to extratasty.com to learn how to mix drinks.
posted by mullingitover at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2007
2. Don't drink to get drunk. Drink to have a good time with friends, and don't drink alone. Alcoholism is largely an American invention, devised because we aren't taught to drink properly and in moderation. If you don't drink to get drunk and you practice proper self control, alcoholism will never be something you have to worry about.
3. You've probably had it drilled into your head that when drinking, you naturally act crazy and stupid. This is wrong, there is nothing preventing you from keeping your composure even when intoxicated. Also, see 1.
4. Don't drink cheap booze, it reflects badly on you. Learn to appreciate quality beer, wine, and spirits. Visit your library and get a book about wine, a book about beer, and go to extratasty.com to learn how to mix drinks.
posted by mullingitover at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2007
You have a disadvantage in that you immediate family does not drink so you don't know if you can handle drinking well. I've know some alcoholics and it sure seems like a genetic predisposition makes the risks of addiction go way up.
Just go slowly and take it easy. Practice saying no. Stay the heck away from hard drinks & sugary drinks (they'll mess you fastest) until you get some experience under your belt.
And two important safety tips: Drink water during and after drinking to keep your hydration up. Do not, not ever, take Tylenol while drinking or recovering from drinking. It can lead to serious permanent liver damage.
posted by chairface at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2007
Just go slowly and take it easy. Practice saying no. Stay the heck away from hard drinks & sugary drinks (they'll mess you fastest) until you get some experience under your belt.
And two important safety tips: Drink water during and after drinking to keep your hydration up. Do not, not ever, take Tylenol while drinking or recovering from drinking. It can lead to serious permanent liver damage.
posted by chairface at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2007
Enlist some friends. Ask them to look out for you to help keep you going crazy with the drinking. Maybe set a hard limit at first, only two glasses of wine or one beer etc, etc., until you develop a tolerance and have more experience dealing with the effects.
Relax. Stop trying to control it. Be moderate and go with the flow.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2007
Relax. Stop trying to control it. Be moderate and go with the flow.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2007
1) Drink less. Get yourself a big club soda or Coke or juice or whatever you like as a spacer between each and every drink you take. Eat while you're drinking - chips, a slice of pizza, some wings or a sandwich or all of the above. You get drunk way faster on an empty stomach. Avoid shots, acquire a taste for beer or wine (whose potency you feel coming on before you get to the sloppy stage, after a bit of practice). Few like the taste of either at first go, but if you'd like to be a social drinker, these are the two most reliable social drinks.
2) Everyone's got their own limits, based on metabolism, size and weight, genetics and experience. Never more than one drink per hour is a pretty good benchmark, but if you wade in slowly each time for the next while, you'll learn to recognize and respond to the stages of drunkenness before you get to blotto stage.
3) Two of alcohol's top effects are the weakening of motor skills and the reducing of inhibitions, which is where sloppy drunkenness comes from. The main tip for avoiding acting crazy is to drink in moderation, learn how to manage your tipsyness, and for the love of god stop drinking before you get to the totally-uninhibited stage. That said, a big part of what many drinkers like about drinking is that it loosens them up a bit, so don't fear the nutso so much as learn to recognize the fun first stages and dodge the good-god-what've-I-done? later stages.
4) Know this: There is not a single drinker of any experience on the planet who has not overdone it at least once, and many of us sometimes miscalculated for years before they learned their limits. It's okay. It's not wise, and it's a bit embarassing, but it's generally understood to be part of the game. (And you don't want to drink with judgmental prisses anyway.)
My large extended Scots-Canadian family - who I regard as heavy but non-abusive social drinkers - has never had a major family gathering that didn't involve at least a couple of preposterous arguments. This is at big family gatherings, though - at a quiet inner party, a pre-dinner drink or two, a glass of wine with dinner and then a post-dinner liqueur is considered the standard.
Anyway, welcome to the club. Don't be scared - everyone around you with a drink in their hand has been where you were last night. Learn from your mistakes, but don't beat yourself up over 'em.
Slainte!
posted by gompa at 3:43 PM on June 19, 2007
2) Everyone's got their own limits, based on metabolism, size and weight, genetics and experience. Never more than one drink per hour is a pretty good benchmark, but if you wade in slowly each time for the next while, you'll learn to recognize and respond to the stages of drunkenness before you get to blotto stage.
3) Two of alcohol's top effects are the weakening of motor skills and the reducing of inhibitions, which is where sloppy drunkenness comes from. The main tip for avoiding acting crazy is to drink in moderation, learn how to manage your tipsyness, and for the love of god stop drinking before you get to the totally-uninhibited stage. That said, a big part of what many drinkers like about drinking is that it loosens them up a bit, so don't fear the nutso so much as learn to recognize the fun first stages and dodge the good-god-what've-I-done? later stages.
4) Know this: There is not a single drinker of any experience on the planet who has not overdone it at least once, and many of us sometimes miscalculated for years before they learned their limits. It's okay. It's not wise, and it's a bit embarassing, but it's generally understood to be part of the game. (And you don't want to drink with judgmental prisses anyway.)
My large extended Scots-Canadian family - who I regard as heavy but non-abusive social drinkers - has never had a major family gathering that didn't involve at least a couple of preposterous arguments. This is at big family gatherings, though - at a quiet inner party, a pre-dinner drink or two, a glass of wine with dinner and then a post-dinner liqueur is considered the standard.
Anyway, welcome to the club. Don't be scared - everyone around you with a drink in their hand has been where you were last night. Learn from your mistakes, but don't beat yourself up over 'em.
Slainte!
posted by gompa at 3:43 PM on June 19, 2007
1) Shots are for people who are trying to get devastatingly drunk, which is a noble goal indeed, but maybe a different drink would suit your purposes better. A shot of vodka has about as much alcohol in it as a bottle of beer (or Smirnoff Ice, or whatever), but the latter will generally take you a lot longer to drink. Also, you can slowly drink a bottled drink when you're just trying to maintain a buzz but not get trashed. Alternating alcohol and non-alcoholic drinks is a good trick too. Alcohol makes you thirsty, and drinking something non-alcoholic gives you something to do.
2) It really depends on how much you have to do and why you're drinking. If you're busy and depressed and drinking to escape your problems, one night a week is probably too many. If you're on vacation with friends and exploring nightlife, six nights a week is fine. Only use alcohol to enhance a good time you were going to have anyway and you should be fine. Don't use it to pick you up when you're down or to avoid stuff you have to do.
3) Hard, hard experience. It sounds like you're already started down that path! Seriously, next time you're drunk and you want to make out with a girl, you'll remember how embarrassed you felt last time. Maybe you'll do it anyway, but then you'll have two embarrassed memories holding you back next time, and eventually you'll start behaving while drunk. That, or making out with chicks when you're sober.
4) It's easier to know how much you're drinking when you're drinking something familiar. Strange cocktails with a new bartender could be way more powerful than you're expecting, so take it slow. Gatorade is actually for hangovers, as are huevos rancheros.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:44 PM on June 19, 2007
2) It really depends on how much you have to do and why you're drinking. If you're busy and depressed and drinking to escape your problems, one night a week is probably too many. If you're on vacation with friends and exploring nightlife, six nights a week is fine. Only use alcohol to enhance a good time you were going to have anyway and you should be fine. Don't use it to pick you up when you're down or to avoid stuff you have to do.
3) Hard, hard experience. It sounds like you're already started down that path! Seriously, next time you're drunk and you want to make out with a girl, you'll remember how embarrassed you felt last time. Maybe you'll do it anyway, but then you'll have two embarrassed memories holding you back next time, and eventually you'll start behaving while drunk. That, or making out with chicks when you're sober.
4) It's easier to know how much you're drinking when you're drinking something familiar. Strange cocktails with a new bartender could be way more powerful than you're expecting, so take it slow. Gatorade is actually for hangovers, as are huevos rancheros.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:44 PM on June 19, 2007
Alcoholic content: 1 beer = 1 mixed drink = 1 glass of wine = 1 shot.
12 shots = shitload of alcohol. If you were drinking it any other way, you wouldn't have made it that far.
posted by smackfu at 3:45 PM on June 19, 2007
12 shots = shitload of alcohol. If you were drinking it any other way, you wouldn't have made it that far.
posted by smackfu at 3:45 PM on June 19, 2007
try drinking things that are bitter and not easy to swig. vodka or gin with grapefruit juice is one option, or drinks made with campari, for example. you'll nurse one negroni all night long. or try scotch, or just whiskey on the rocks. skip the martinis and the long island iced teas, and stick to screwdrivers or rum & cokes, which are mixed with nonalcoholic mixers.
avoid shots at all costs (i hate them, actually). and drink a full glass of water between each drink.
alternatively, just stick to beer. you can still get quite drunk, but not as quickly, because it contains more water.
finally, alcohol isn't addictive the way tobacco is. you can drink a lot and never become an alcoholic. what will make you an alcoholic is relying on alcohol to function and/or have a good time. if you find yourself craving a drink--not just wishing you had something to drink to get you through a boring date--but actually craving, to the point where it's hard to think about anything else, then you need to stop and seek some help. this doesn't happen to most people.
oh, and don't panic about "going crazy." obviously you have to be safe, but making out with a girl isn't going to warp you for life, even if you're straight. be sure to pack a condom, never leave your drink unattended, and perhaps start taking an oral contraceptive. you'll make mistakes--that's a part of growing up--and you'll learn from them.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:45 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
avoid shots at all costs (i hate them, actually). and drink a full glass of water between each drink.
alternatively, just stick to beer. you can still get quite drunk, but not as quickly, because it contains more water.
finally, alcohol isn't addictive the way tobacco is. you can drink a lot and never become an alcoholic. what will make you an alcoholic is relying on alcohol to function and/or have a good time. if you find yourself craving a drink--not just wishing you had something to drink to get you through a boring date--but actually craving, to the point where it's hard to think about anything else, then you need to stop and seek some help. this doesn't happen to most people.
oh, and don't panic about "going crazy." obviously you have to be safe, but making out with a girl isn't going to warp you for life, even if you're straight. be sure to pack a condom, never leave your drink unattended, and perhaps start taking an oral contraceptive. you'll make mistakes--that's a part of growing up--and you'll learn from them.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:45 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
If you're ever going to go through a period of binge drinking, as most people do in high school/college (and what you experienced the other night), I think everyone goes to excess for a while, if only to realize what true excess is. If this is something you want to experiment with, you're bound to overdo it on many occasions. That said, don't think of that as an *excuse* to binge drink - just know that many people do it. The important thing is to remember to be as safe as possible (while knowing that "binge drinking" and "safe" have no business being in the same sentence together!).
While I came from a different upbringing than you did with respect to alcohol consumption, when I began drinking I was doing so without the knowledge of (or any guidance from) my parents - as most of us do. I was scared too, and had no clue how I'd react. What was key for me was drinking with peers who were more experienced in the ways of mass drunkenness - they kept an eye on me, taught me what you can and can't mix (and how bad the hangover will be if I did), and - most importantly - made sure that if I did get blindingly trashed, that I didn't do anything that made me unsafe - i.e. going home with strange people, getting into sexual situations, making sure I was ok for the ensuing vomit-fest later that night/next morning. By drinking with these people I gradually gained the knowledge of what alcohol did to my body, how I reacted in various situations, and the confidence to know what I did and did not want to do. Because of gaining that knowledge I was never harmed in any way from my drinking (aside from the requisite liver damage, of course, and some ruined shoes!).
posted by AthenaPolias at 3:47 PM on June 19, 2007
While I came from a different upbringing than you did with respect to alcohol consumption, when I began drinking I was doing so without the knowledge of (or any guidance from) my parents - as most of us do. I was scared too, and had no clue how I'd react. What was key for me was drinking with peers who were more experienced in the ways of mass drunkenness - they kept an eye on me, taught me what you can and can't mix (and how bad the hangover will be if I did), and - most importantly - made sure that if I did get blindingly trashed, that I didn't do anything that made me unsafe - i.e. going home with strange people, getting into sexual situations, making sure I was ok for the ensuing vomit-fest later that night/next morning. By drinking with these people I gradually gained the knowledge of what alcohol did to my body, how I reacted in various situations, and the confidence to know what I did and did not want to do. Because of gaining that knowledge I was never harmed in any way from my drinking (aside from the requisite liver damage, of course, and some ruined shoes!).
posted by AthenaPolias at 3:47 PM on June 19, 2007
I grew up in a family of problem drinkers [either drunks or adult children of drunks] and I've always been a little touchy about drinking, mine and others, though I've laid down some rules for myself that work okay and I go out with other people who are drinking with no real problems even when I'm not drinking.
My rule for me is that unless I'm on vacation or travelling I don't drink more than two nights a week [and that's in a seven day period]. I think this is pretty restrictive but it works for me I used to drink way too much in college, so this is how I don't do it now. I usually stick to a drink every few hours and try to quit entirely when I'm at the stumbling/slurring point. If I'm drinking at home, then I have a set limit and don't go over it. I find the best way to regulate [both drinking and behavior] is to 1. eat a meal so you're not pouring alcohol into an empty stomach and 2. have a buddy that you're with who sort of keeps an eye on you and/or vice versa. Maybe have a few guidelines in advance ["if I start making out with a girl, please tell me to stop it", or whatever] My last rule is that if I wake up with a blazing puking hangover I don't drink again for a month. I don't think I've had to invoke that rule in years.
That said, while it's embarassing to sometimes cut loose especially in these days of everything winding up on the internet, I want to stress that you not beat yoursef up over it. A lot of people enjoy drinking and being with people who drink for that "anything can happen" vibe that an evening can get and you were part of the merriment that evening and wound up coming out of it okay.
If you never had any health education about alcohol you might want to familiarize yourself with some basic alcohol equivalencies [one shot equals one glass of wine equals one beer, more or less] and some information about blood alcohol content and drinking safely. You can look at how much you weigh and how fast you're drinking and get an idea of how drunk you're likely to get. Around here .08 is the legal limit beyond which it's against the law for you to drive, I think this varies from state to state, but not by much.
If you're a math nerd you can figure out exactly how many drinks is okay for you. If you're not you can do things like showing up with a set amount of money for drinks, or a "I'll switch to soda after a certain time" mentality. Everyone has their own certain levels that they pay attention to except for the truly hardcore drinkers (or people not driving home).
Don't worry about becoming an alcoholic, just focus on being able to socially drink and enjoy yourself, not wake up thinking "oh man what did I do?" Pay a moderate amount of attention to safety [your personal safety with random people hitting on you, deciding who to drive home with] and then try to use each social event as a bit of a testing ground "okay what sort of a time do I have if I drink THIS much...?" especially while you're new at this. There's a lot of oogy boogy talk about drinking and you may be starting to learn later than some people, but it's not a super-complicated social ritual to parse out, Stay safe and enjoy yourself, good luck.
posted by jessamyn at 3:48 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
My rule for me is that unless I'm on vacation or travelling I don't drink more than two nights a week [and that's in a seven day period]. I think this is pretty restrictive but it works for me I used to drink way too much in college, so this is how I don't do it now. I usually stick to a drink every few hours and try to quit entirely when I'm at the stumbling/slurring point. If I'm drinking at home, then I have a set limit and don't go over it. I find the best way to regulate [both drinking and behavior] is to 1. eat a meal so you're not pouring alcohol into an empty stomach and 2. have a buddy that you're with who sort of keeps an eye on you and/or vice versa. Maybe have a few guidelines in advance ["if I start making out with a girl, please tell me to stop it", or whatever] My last rule is that if I wake up with a blazing puking hangover I don't drink again for a month. I don't think I've had to invoke that rule in years.
That said, while it's embarassing to sometimes cut loose especially in these days of everything winding up on the internet, I want to stress that you not beat yoursef up over it. A lot of people enjoy drinking and being with people who drink for that "anything can happen" vibe that an evening can get and you were part of the merriment that evening and wound up coming out of it okay.
If you never had any health education about alcohol you might want to familiarize yourself with some basic alcohol equivalencies [one shot equals one glass of wine equals one beer, more or less] and some information about blood alcohol content and drinking safely. You can look at how much you weigh and how fast you're drinking and get an idea of how drunk you're likely to get. Around here .08 is the legal limit beyond which it's against the law for you to drive, I think this varies from state to state, but not by much.
If you're a math nerd you can figure out exactly how many drinks is okay for you. If you're not you can do things like showing up with a set amount of money for drinks, or a "I'll switch to soda after a certain time" mentality. Everyone has their own certain levels that they pay attention to except for the truly hardcore drinkers (or people not driving home).
Don't worry about becoming an alcoholic, just focus on being able to socially drink and enjoy yourself, not wake up thinking "oh man what did I do?" Pay a moderate amount of attention to safety [your personal safety with random people hitting on you, deciding who to drive home with] and then try to use each social event as a bit of a testing ground "okay what sort of a time do I have if I drink THIS much...?" especially while you're new at this. There's a lot of oogy boogy talk about drinking and you may be starting to learn later than some people, but it's not a super-complicated social ritual to parse out, Stay safe and enjoy yourself, good luck.
posted by jessamyn at 3:48 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
Don't drink with people who let you take twelve shots on your first night drinking would be a good first step.
More than two or three drinks on a night out and you quickly go from fun makeout sessions to the girl that can't control herself when she drinks.
posted by geoff. at 3:51 PM on June 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
More than two or three drinks on a night out and you quickly go from fun makeout sessions to the girl that can't control herself when she drinks.
posted by geoff. at 3:51 PM on June 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
Go buy a bottle of wine and have a glass or two with dinner.
posted by kickingtheground at 3:54 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by kickingtheground at 3:54 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
Don't drink with people who make a habit of getting really drunk. Of course, your own limits should be your guide, but it's too easy to get swept along with everyone else's craziness. That, and when your friends are passed out in a bathroom by last call and you're equally wasted it's pretty difficult to have them look out for you, or vice versa.
Get accustomed to drinking outside the context of clubbing or bar-hopping. It will probably be odd at first, considering your upbringing, but it will build your tolerance.
Longer/taller/less sugary/more carbonated drinks are somewhat more difficult to get drunk off of.
posted by thisjax at 4:01 PM on June 19, 2007
Get accustomed to drinking outside the context of clubbing or bar-hopping. It will probably be odd at first, considering your upbringing, but it will build your tolerance.
Longer/taller/less sugary/more carbonated drinks are somewhat more difficult to get drunk off of.
posted by thisjax at 4:01 PM on June 19, 2007
If my math is right, not that it often is, but 12 shots more that a 500 ml bottle.
Alcohol is a depressant. It "makes" people do crazy things because people think that it will. Sure it lowers your inhabition to dance on tables, but alcohol by no means makes you do it. If you give alcohol to people that don't know they are drinking they get tired and go to sleep. The going crazy part might have more to do with you than the alcohol.
I'd stay away from shots, and stick to mixed drinks. They will fill you up a bit more so you might think about waiting a while between drinks.
There is research that carbonation speeds up the effects of alcohol. There is also research that those non-sugar diet sweeteners used in coke speed up the effects of the alcohol. Maybe keep that in mind.
posted by magikker at 4:07 PM on June 19, 2007
Alcohol is a depressant. It "makes" people do crazy things because people think that it will. Sure it lowers your inhabition to dance on tables, but alcohol by no means makes you do it. If you give alcohol to people that don't know they are drinking they get tired and go to sleep. The going crazy part might have more to do with you than the alcohol.
I'd stay away from shots, and stick to mixed drinks. They will fill you up a bit more so you might think about waiting a while between drinks.
There is research that carbonation speeds up the effects of alcohol. There is also research that those non-sugar diet sweeteners used in coke speed up the effects of the alcohol. Maybe keep that in mind.
posted by magikker at 4:07 PM on June 19, 2007
Seconding Brandon Blatcher's point, as well as those raised by a few others here... the fact that you (a) consumed that amount of alcohol for your first time, and (b) ended up engaging in an impromptu lesbian make-out session suggests that your back-up was negligent, entirely absent, or just about as shit-faced as you were. Where drink is served and intoxication is the goal, your friends are your safety net, the ones that will prevent you from entering hangover territory or crossing any other lines you'd rather not cross.
posted by The Confessor at 4:08 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by The Confessor at 4:08 PM on June 19, 2007
1) Don't do 12 shots. Take it slow, for one thing, so you have time to measure how drunk you are. Soon enough, you'll learn your limit this way - the place between happily drunk and lesbian queen. You'll recognize the feeling when you get it, perhaps you get queezy or your balance starts to falter, and you'll know that you should probably stop. If you drink quickly it'll hit you all at once and there's no turning back. Take it slow.
2) Well, I could tell you what AA defines as alcoholism based on how much you drink per week, but obviously this is subjective. Me, I drink more nights than not, but that doesn't mean I'm fall down drunk. It means I have a few beers or a shot. Remember, drinking doesn't mean you have to get shit faced and gay. Plenty of people have alcohol with lunch, dinner, or just to relax a little. Probably not a good measure for you, none the less, so here's a good rule of thumb until you figure things out a little more through experience: keep it to weekends. That way you have much less chance of it interfering with responsibilities.
3) Regulating myself came over time due to the embarrassment of the things I kept doing. It just takes experience. Also, being drunk means being kind of a jackass. Way it goes. You just have to decide what kind of jackass you want to be. The giggly one, or the one making out with people's girlfriends. Also, be aware of who you drink with. The crowd can alter your experience as much as anything. Maybe you're not such a bad drunk, but maybe they are.
4) Don't worry so much about becoming an alcoholic, seriously. You'll have bad nights when you drink. Learn from the experience. A healthy drinking life means you don't need it, and it doesn't negatively impact your responsibilities or relationships.
posted by Roman Graves at 4:10 PM on June 19, 2007
2) Well, I could tell you what AA defines as alcoholism based on how much you drink per week, but obviously this is subjective. Me, I drink more nights than not, but that doesn't mean I'm fall down drunk. It means I have a few beers or a shot. Remember, drinking doesn't mean you have to get shit faced and gay. Plenty of people have alcohol with lunch, dinner, or just to relax a little. Probably not a good measure for you, none the less, so here's a good rule of thumb until you figure things out a little more through experience: keep it to weekends. That way you have much less chance of it interfering with responsibilities.
3) Regulating myself came over time due to the embarrassment of the things I kept doing. It just takes experience. Also, being drunk means being kind of a jackass. Way it goes. You just have to decide what kind of jackass you want to be. The giggly one, or the one making out with people's girlfriends. Also, be aware of who you drink with. The crowd can alter your experience as much as anything. Maybe you're not such a bad drunk, but maybe they are.
4) Don't worry so much about becoming an alcoholic, seriously. You'll have bad nights when you drink. Learn from the experience. A healthy drinking life means you don't need it, and it doesn't negatively impact your responsibilities or relationships.
posted by Roman Graves at 4:10 PM on June 19, 2007
When the song you're listening to is the best one ever written, stop drinking because you're on the peak. This advice comes from an alcohol researcher that a friend of mine spoke to.
And don't worry too much about your drunken escapades. The embarrassing memories are normal and part of being hungover. The first time I drank I was brought in by the police, and my mom had to come and bail me out...
posted by springload at 4:22 PM on June 19, 2007 [3 favorites]
And don't worry too much about your drunken escapades. The embarrassing memories are normal and part of being hungover. The first time I drank I was brought in by the police, and my mom had to come and bail me out...
posted by springload at 4:22 PM on June 19, 2007 [3 favorites]
1) You won't do crazy stuff every time you drink, just most times. If you keep waking up regretting it -- and make sure you do regret it, and don't just feel like you should then you'll naturally trim down how much you drink. It will self-correct.
2) At some times in my life, I've been out drinking every night. At other times, Saturday comes round too soon. Again, this will self-correct. You don't worry about how often you eat at restaurants, do you? Same here. The fear of alcoholism is just fear of an unknown new drug, and will pass.
You could try the old at-least-have-one-sober-day-between-drinks rule.
3) You DO give in! That's why drinking to excess is fun! If you become a problem, your friends will stop you first, or just stop asking you out. If you have to apologise to someone next morning every time you drink, you're possibly over doing it.
4) Don't listen to the haters. Shots rock. But think of them as a turbo-boost, or a power-up or something. You don't drink them as "your drink". That's what gin and tonic is for.
posted by bonaldi at 4:30 PM on June 19, 2007
2) At some times in my life, I've been out drinking every night. At other times, Saturday comes round too soon. Again, this will self-correct. You don't worry about how often you eat at restaurants, do you? Same here. The fear of alcoholism is just fear of an unknown new drug, and will pass.
You could try the old at-least-have-one-sober-day-between-drinks rule.
3) You DO give in! That's why drinking to excess is fun! If you become a problem, your friends will stop you first, or just stop asking you out. If you have to apologise to someone next morning every time you drink, you're possibly over doing it.
4) Don't listen to the haters. Shots rock. But think of them as a turbo-boost, or a power-up or something. You don't drink them as "your drink". That's what gin and tonic is for.
posted by bonaldi at 4:30 PM on June 19, 2007
1)What's the best way to be moderate?
To find out what your limit is. Then stay under it or cut it in half. For example, we know it's probably less than six for you :)
2)How much is too much? As in how many nights a week have you found it is ok in your personal life to drinK? How can I not become an alcoholic short of never drinking again?
Again, you would need to find out your limit - that's probably best done through (careful!) experimentation. Go out and have 1-3 drinks, see how it goes. What happens if you drink 4 another time? 5? 6? Honestly, most people I know found their limits by experimentation. I'm a pretty small person and have found my limit is around three.
3)Effective tips for regulating yourself when tipsy? How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
I try to cut myself off and I have friends that are not the type to pressure into "just one more." I don't go out with people who drink to get drunk either. Plus, my boyfriend automatically knows to bring me water at least once throughout the night when we're out, so that helps too. Not going overboard will cut down on the crazy urges. As mentioned upthread, I always try to make sure I've eaten a fair amount before drinking. If I haven't, I reduce the number of drinks I'm having.
4)Anything else? I don't even know what to ask. I'm confused and I don't know what a normal healthy adults drinking life is like.
Cut yourself a little slack and chalk it up to experience. Also know that there's nothing wrong with not drinking when you go out. There's also nothing wrong with only drinking a little when you go out.
My perception of a healthy adult's drinking life is that of my own - but like anything, others might have a different view. For me, it's a glass or two of wine when out to dinner (or sometimes, no wine). If I'm at a bar/party, it's 2-3 drinks over the course of the night, interspersed with something non-alcoholic (generally water, but sometimes a coke because the alcohol makes me tired and I want the caffeine). Drinking more than two nights/week, including wine at dinner, is very rare for me.
(on preview: you'll notice that most of my response for #3 is actually dependent on other people - I agree with the confessor).
posted by ml98tu at 4:31 PM on June 19, 2007
To find out what your limit is. Then stay under it or cut it in half. For example, we know it's probably less than six for you :)
2)How much is too much? As in how many nights a week have you found it is ok in your personal life to drinK? How can I not become an alcoholic short of never drinking again?
Again, you would need to find out your limit - that's probably best done through (careful!) experimentation. Go out and have 1-3 drinks, see how it goes. What happens if you drink 4 another time? 5? 6? Honestly, most people I know found their limits by experimentation. I'm a pretty small person and have found my limit is around three.
3)Effective tips for regulating yourself when tipsy? How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
I try to cut myself off and I have friends that are not the type to pressure into "just one more." I don't go out with people who drink to get drunk either. Plus, my boyfriend automatically knows to bring me water at least once throughout the night when we're out, so that helps too. Not going overboard will cut down on the crazy urges. As mentioned upthread, I always try to make sure I've eaten a fair amount before drinking. If I haven't, I reduce the number of drinks I'm having.
4)Anything else? I don't even know what to ask. I'm confused and I don't know what a normal healthy adults drinking life is like.
Cut yourself a little slack and chalk it up to experience. Also know that there's nothing wrong with not drinking when you go out. There's also nothing wrong with only drinking a little when you go out.
My perception of a healthy adult's drinking life is that of my own - but like anything, others might have a different view. For me, it's a glass or two of wine when out to dinner (or sometimes, no wine). If I'm at a bar/party, it's 2-3 drinks over the course of the night, interspersed with something non-alcoholic (generally water, but sometimes a coke because the alcohol makes me tired and I want the caffeine). Drinking more than two nights/week, including wine at dinner, is very rare for me.
(on preview: you'll notice that most of my response for #3 is actually dependent on other people - I agree with the confessor).
posted by ml98tu at 4:31 PM on June 19, 2007
Drink with moderate drinkers you trust. Instead of going to some nasty bar, go to a nice place where the drinks are decent and the noise level is more manageable - you'll pay more per drink but it'll be well worth it in terms of sanity. And for God's sake, drink a glass of water for every one or two alcoholic drinks. Slows down your drinking and is immeasurably helpful the next day.
Also: don't hang out with motherfuckers who think that D00D, CHICKS MAKING OUT YEAH ROCK! is an awesome drunken pastime. Find a decent neighborhood bar, grab the occasional beer (think lambic, mayhaps, if you're getting started and have no taste for beer?), surround yourself with people who'll have something to talk about after a couple of pints, learn what you like, and stick to what you know. It's like anything else: every once in a while, check your head.
Drinking a lot and throwing up won't kill you. (Throwing up is actually quite helpful.) Doing it every night will. Simple enough!
posted by waxbanks at 4:33 PM on June 19, 2007
Also: don't hang out with motherfuckers who think that D00D, CHICKS MAKING OUT YEAH ROCK! is an awesome drunken pastime. Find a decent neighborhood bar, grab the occasional beer (think lambic, mayhaps, if you're getting started and have no taste for beer?), surround yourself with people who'll have something to talk about after a couple of pints, learn what you like, and stick to what you know. It's like anything else: every once in a while, check your head.
Drinking a lot and throwing up won't kill you. (Throwing up is actually quite helpful.) Doing it every night will. Simple enough!
posted by waxbanks at 4:33 PM on June 19, 2007
Eat first. No shots. 1 glass of water per 2 drinks. Keep a count in your head, and if you lose count, even for a second, STOP DRINKING.
posted by infinitewindow at 4:39 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by infinitewindow at 4:39 PM on June 19, 2007
1) Set yourself a limit before starting to drink. Don't set goals.
2) It is up to you to decide what moderation is. What is considered too much depends on social norms too. It is very common to have one or two glasses of wine with lunch and dinner in France, and one or two pints with colleagues at the pub every once in a while after work in Britain. Do one of those things on the other side of the Channel and people will wonder whether you are an alcoholic.
In Britain, they have a system of alcohol units designed to help you keep count of how much you've had to drink. This should give you an idea of what is considered reasonable by UK standards.
3) Don't be afraid to switch to soft drinks when you feel you've had enough. Do try the stonger stuff if you want, but favour drinks with less alcohol. As you learn how alcohol affects your body, you will learn how much will make you tipsy, and knowing how to pace yourself should come automatically.
Not drinking too quickly helps. See if you can make a mojito last for an hour.
4) Hangovers are (mostly) cranial dehydration and hypoglycemia. Drink fruit juice while you're drinking, when coming home, and in the morning. You've had too much to drink when you have one, although the lack of one doesn't imply otherwise.
When you start enjoying the music they play in the bar, stop drinking immediatly.
posted by stereo at 4:42 PM on June 19, 2007
2) It is up to you to decide what moderation is. What is considered too much depends on social norms too. It is very common to have one or two glasses of wine with lunch and dinner in France, and one or two pints with colleagues at the pub every once in a while after work in Britain. Do one of those things on the other side of the Channel and people will wonder whether you are an alcoholic.
In Britain, they have a system of alcohol units designed to help you keep count of how much you've had to drink. This should give you an idea of what is considered reasonable by UK standards.
3) Don't be afraid to switch to soft drinks when you feel you've had enough. Do try the stonger stuff if you want, but favour drinks with less alcohol. As you learn how alcohol affects your body, you will learn how much will make you tipsy, and knowing how to pace yourself should come automatically.
Not drinking too quickly helps. See if you can make a mojito last for an hour.
4) Hangovers are (mostly) cranial dehydration and hypoglycemia. Drink fruit juice while you're drinking, when coming home, and in the morning. You've had too much to drink when you have one, although the lack of one doesn't imply otherwise.
When you start enjoying the music they play in the bar, stop drinking immediatly.
posted by stereo at 4:42 PM on June 19, 2007
If drinking effects the rest of your life negatively you are doing it too much. Late to work because you had 12 shots on a Monday night? Thats a bit of an issue. Stick to drinking on nights that it isn't going to matter with how you feel the next day and that is a good starting point for a beginner drinker.
posted by magikker at 4:43 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by magikker at 4:43 PM on June 19, 2007
I want to stress that you not beat yoursef up over it.
I agree with this to a point, but only to a point. Also remember that that unless someone drugs you, you are always responsible for your actions. You made a mistake and now, hopefully, you've learned from it. There are lots of far stupider things you can do while very drunk than making out with another girl (driving, going home with a way-wrong man, injuring yourself). Don't do those things.
Learn to drink with the right people. Try to avoid activities that would be awful if sober. Watch out for guys who are really eager for you to drink heavily.
Also, ditto World Famous. Lots of people can drink with few problems. Some can't. Decide for yourself.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:45 PM on June 19, 2007
I agree with this to a point, but only to a point. Also remember that that unless someone drugs you, you are always responsible for your actions. You made a mistake and now, hopefully, you've learned from it. There are lots of far stupider things you can do while very drunk than making out with another girl (driving, going home with a way-wrong man, injuring yourself). Don't do those things.
Learn to drink with the right people. Try to avoid activities that would be awful if sober. Watch out for guys who are really eager for you to drink heavily.
Also, ditto World Famous. Lots of people can drink with few problems. Some can't. Decide for yourself.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:45 PM on June 19, 2007
As many folks have said, there are many ways to drink. One of the most popular is drinking in order to get drunk - most of us do this when we're young(er) and then it sort of tapers off (we hope).
A good way to not do this, if you don't want to, is to learn to appreciate good wine/liquor/beer - in other words, to learn to drink because you like the taste of something. This technique won't prevent you from getting drunk if you want to, but it will definitely help with the oh-noes-I-drank-twelve-shots! thing. It can also help if you cultivate a taste for expensive wine/beer/liquor, since ideally you won't be able to afford very much of it.
FWIW, I had a friend in college who couldn't drink just one drink - if she had one beer, she was going to have twelve, or more. This may not apply to you, but it won't hurt to pay attention.
When you're home, have a glass of wine or beer (just one, or two) with dinner. That's the way most sensible countries teach their youngsters about alcohol - in the home, with meals, as a family/social thing. (Most of these youngsters will still go out and get hammered, mind you, but they'll have an idea of what they're in for!)
posted by rtha at 4:49 PM on June 19, 2007
A good way to not do this, if you don't want to, is to learn to appreciate good wine/liquor/beer - in other words, to learn to drink because you like the taste of something. This technique won't prevent you from getting drunk if you want to, but it will definitely help with the oh-noes-I-drank-twelve-shots! thing. It can also help if you cultivate a taste for expensive wine/beer/liquor, since ideally you won't be able to afford very much of it.
FWIW, I had a friend in college who couldn't drink just one drink - if she had one beer, she was going to have twelve, or more. This may not apply to you, but it won't hurt to pay attention.
When you're home, have a glass of wine or beer (just one, or two) with dinner. That's the way most sensible countries teach their youngsters about alcohol - in the home, with meals, as a family/social thing. (Most of these youngsters will still go out and get hammered, mind you, but they'll have an idea of what they're in for!)
posted by rtha at 4:49 PM on June 19, 2007
Many others have told you to avoid shots. Don't. Avoid doing 12 of them in one night. A shot is often the way to go, but it is also often not the way to go. General experience with alcohol will teach you the difference.
You just need to quit earlier and realize that if you bother to ask yourself whether you want to do something before deciding that it's a good idea, the part of your brain that normally does that for you is still alive and well in there and ready to give you an answer.
I've had way too much to drink on occasion, and even said some things I probably should have kept to myself while drunk, but I, thus far, have never done anything I seriously regret, thanks to always asking myself "would I find this OK if I were sober" before doing anything beyond going to the bathroom.
I did, however, take several years to realize that drinking until I puked is not the way to go, and drinking as much water as alcohol (8oz per shot, glass of wine, or bottle of beer) is essential to not feeling like crap the next day.
Since then, I've come to realize that sweet things other than certain liquors don't mix well with alcohol.
BTW, I only get drunk 3 or 4 times a year, although I do drink probably once every month or two.
One other piece of advice: avoid mixing sweet juices with your liquor. You won't feel good the next day. I had typed up a long story as sort of a morality tale, but it ended up being too chatfiltery. Suffice it to say that after 20 or so shots of tequila mixed in margaritas and just with orange juice over 12 hours, it was the 6 shots of rum and vodka mixed with cranberry juice (a person I was with called it "liquid valium") that gave me a bad evening, not the tequila.
posted by wierdo at 4:55 PM on June 19, 2007
You just need to quit earlier and realize that if you bother to ask yourself whether you want to do something before deciding that it's a good idea, the part of your brain that normally does that for you is still alive and well in there and ready to give you an answer.
I've had way too much to drink on occasion, and even said some things I probably should have kept to myself while drunk, but I, thus far, have never done anything I seriously regret, thanks to always asking myself "would I find this OK if I were sober" before doing anything beyond going to the bathroom.
I did, however, take several years to realize that drinking until I puked is not the way to go, and drinking as much water as alcohol (8oz per shot, glass of wine, or bottle of beer) is essential to not feeling like crap the next day.
Since then, I've come to realize that sweet things other than certain liquors don't mix well with alcohol.
BTW, I only get drunk 3 or 4 times a year, although I do drink probably once every month or two.
One other piece of advice: avoid mixing sweet juices with your liquor. You won't feel good the next day. I had typed up a long story as sort of a morality tale, but it ended up being too chatfiltery. Suffice it to say that after 20 or so shots of tequila mixed in margaritas and just with orange juice over 12 hours, it was the 6 shots of rum and vodka mixed with cranberry juice (a person I was with called it "liquid valium") that gave me a bad evening, not the tequila.
posted by wierdo at 4:55 PM on June 19, 2007
I come from a very very similar background to you and started drinking at about the same age. I realized after a year or so, and experiments with varying amounts of drunkenness, that I didn't actually particularly enjoy drinking, I was just doing it because I felt like I should in order to be "normal." I felt like I had to prove to people that I wasn't naive or a "goody-goody" (not that anyone I know actually uses the word "goody-goody.") This is, of course, a bad reason for doing anything, so make sure that you're not drinking to prove anything. Test out different drinks and different amounts, drink with people you trust (and not people who will judge you or look down on you for being "The Mormon Girl"), and think carefully about your reasons for doing it. If you're having fun and feeling safe, great. If not, you don't need to drink excessively or at all to be "normal."
posted by doift at 4:58 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by doift at 4:58 PM on June 19, 2007
Nthing:
- No more than one drink an hour
- Stick to drinks with a high volume/ low alcohol ratio
- Alternate with water or soda
- Cultivate a taste for quality
posted by platinum at 4:58 PM on June 19, 2007
- No more than one drink an hour
- Stick to drinks with a high volume/ low alcohol ratio
- Alternate with water or soda
- Cultivate a taste for quality
posted by platinum at 4:58 PM on June 19, 2007
Response by poster: First of all, you may take it as a comfort that your first-time drinking behavior is very, very common for the young and away-from-home, especially if they've been taught drinking is bad and have no experience outside of parties. First time I drank I filled up a pint glass with vodka and downed it all at once because I just didn't know any better. My mouth that night spent its time over the toilet though, not attached to another lady's.
1) You need to practice drinking outside parties. Making yourself a nice, classy mixed drink or pouring a glass of wine or whiskey and sipping it with dinner. You'll build your tolerance up a little and alcohol won't seem like such a "WOO PAAARRRTY IT'S CRAZY TIME" temptation. At parties pour yourself (or watch someone else pour so you can regulate your alcohol) a drink and hold onto it. And drink that one drink the entire night. And if you finish it and fifteen minutes later you feel OK, maybe have another. But you need to learn to gauge various levels of drunkeness and that will take time, patience, and self-control.
2) Some people who I would characterize as having a drinking problem drink only a couple times a week, and others who are perfectly moderate drinkers have a drink every night. It is all dependent on what you feel comfortable with and how much your drinking is interfering with your health, relationships, and non-party life. You will have to figure this out yourself.
3) The urge to act crazy comes with drinking. This is not something you can escape. Alcohol consumed and the ability to maintain self-control are inversely proportionate. As you said, everything seems like a good idea once you get drunk. The only way to resist the urge to act crazy is to drink less. The more sober you are the more you can resist crazy urges the way you would in your everyday life.
4) Do not use your drinking as an excuse for your behavior. Many people end up doing stupid, embarassing shit and building themselves bad reputations because they think they can hide behind a bottle. Your behavior is still your behavior. You made the choice to drink, and you are responsible for the consequences of that actions. This, of course, excludes date rape scenarios and sketchy dudes who try to drug you.
posted by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on June 19, 2007
1) You need to practice drinking outside parties. Making yourself a nice, classy mixed drink or pouring a glass of wine or whiskey and sipping it with dinner. You'll build your tolerance up a little and alcohol won't seem like such a "WOO PAAARRRTY IT'S CRAZY TIME" temptation. At parties pour yourself (or watch someone else pour so you can regulate your alcohol) a drink and hold onto it. And drink that one drink the entire night. And if you finish it and fifteen minutes later you feel OK, maybe have another. But you need to learn to gauge various levels of drunkeness and that will take time, patience, and self-control.
2) Some people who I would characterize as having a drinking problem drink only a couple times a week, and others who are perfectly moderate drinkers have a drink every night. It is all dependent on what you feel comfortable with and how much your drinking is interfering with your health, relationships, and non-party life. You will have to figure this out yourself.
3) The urge to act crazy comes with drinking. This is not something you can escape. Alcohol consumed and the ability to maintain self-control are inversely proportionate. As you said, everything seems like a good idea once you get drunk. The only way to resist the urge to act crazy is to drink less. The more sober you are the more you can resist crazy urges the way you would in your everyday life.
4) Do not use your drinking as an excuse for your behavior. Many people end up doing stupid, embarassing shit and building themselves bad reputations because they think they can hide behind a bottle. Your behavior is still your behavior. You made the choice to drink, and you are responsible for the consequences of that actions. This, of course, excludes date rape scenarios and sketchy dudes who try to drug you.
posted by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on June 19, 2007
Drink several big glasses of water before you go to bed - prevents hangover.
posted by loiseau at 5:04 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by loiseau at 5:04 PM on June 19, 2007
This is the way you get experience, as painful (psychologically and physically) as it may be. Drink and be merry. Find out what it does to you. Learn your limits and also remember it's ok to say no when you know you've had enough.
If you want to learn to be a moderate drinker, you can do that by taking the legal limit to drive chart and making that your drink limit. Do this 2-3 times per week and you'll learn to enjoy a slight buzz and rarely do anything you'll truly regret.
In the end, though, experience is the only real way to learn about regulating your intake of intoxicating substances.
posted by valentinepig at 5:09 PM on June 19, 2007
If you want to learn to be a moderate drinker, you can do that by taking the legal limit to drive chart and making that your drink limit. Do this 2-3 times per week and you'll learn to enjoy a slight buzz and rarely do anything you'll truly regret.
In the end, though, experience is the only real way to learn about regulating your intake of intoxicating substances.
posted by valentinepig at 5:09 PM on June 19, 2007
Everyone's had a lot of advice, and a great majority of it very good. All I can do is speak from my experience. I too grew up in a pretty dry household. My mom was given a bottle of wine as a gift once, and I think it was in the fridge for 2 years. when I got to college I had probably had one entire beer in my whole teenage life, spread out over a few drinks.
the first time I got drunk was with a bunch of guys in the dorm, playing some dice game, and drinking rum and lemonade punch. They were drinking to get drunk, and I came along for the ride. I eventually learned most of the hints you've already heard.
1. Stay hydrated. Not only does water help with hangovers, it keeps you full, and you drink less. My favorite bartenders now automatically pull me a pint and a glass of water together.
2. If you're going to be out for a while, don't constantly drink alcohol. Have a coke or whatever, just to break things up.
3. Know who you're drinking with, and how they're going to act. Nothing wrong with tying one on sometimes, but if every time you go out with some freinds you're plastered, make a note of that. Also, if you go to the same places, get to know the bartenders. Most of the time they watch out for regulars. If they don't, find a different bartender. Also, a really good friend will pull you out of a situation before it goes too far.
4. Expect to do something stupid every now and then. Unless you've physically caused damage or severe insult, don't beat yourself up about it and apologize to everyone you were drunk around. That's part of what happens. Remember though, and if you find yourself doing the same thing again and again, take some time and think about it. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, but it's not a magic crazy drink that puts thoughts into your brain. That said, it's not an excuse either. Do something enough times while you're drunk, and people will start expecting it of you sober...
posted by pupdog at 5:20 PM on June 19, 2007
the first time I got drunk was with a bunch of guys in the dorm, playing some dice game, and drinking rum and lemonade punch. They were drinking to get drunk, and I came along for the ride. I eventually learned most of the hints you've already heard.
1. Stay hydrated. Not only does water help with hangovers, it keeps you full, and you drink less. My favorite bartenders now automatically pull me a pint and a glass of water together.
2. If you're going to be out for a while, don't constantly drink alcohol. Have a coke or whatever, just to break things up.
3. Know who you're drinking with, and how they're going to act. Nothing wrong with tying one on sometimes, but if every time you go out with some freinds you're plastered, make a note of that. Also, if you go to the same places, get to know the bartenders. Most of the time they watch out for regulars. If they don't, find a different bartender. Also, a really good friend will pull you out of a situation before it goes too far.
4. Expect to do something stupid every now and then. Unless you've physically caused damage or severe insult, don't beat yourself up about it and apologize to everyone you were drunk around. That's part of what happens. Remember though, and if you find yourself doing the same thing again and again, take some time and think about it. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, but it's not a magic crazy drink that puts thoughts into your brain. That said, it's not an excuse either. Do something enough times while you're drunk, and people will start expecting it of you sober...
posted by pupdog at 5:20 PM on June 19, 2007
Dang, in the time that took to write we all said the same thing...
posted by pupdog at 5:22 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by pupdog at 5:22 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
"A lot of craziness ensued and I did more than a few things I regret, including an extended makeout with another girl, even though I'm totally straight."
Haha. Right. My spidey sense is tingling all over this one (12 shots? For a first-time drinker? Over, what, a couple hours? Either you're William Perry in a dress or you're exagerating).
Most of the good advice has been hit upthread, so I'll go with some post-drinking advice— What you've got now is a drinking story (though one you'll want to be careful about deploying. Most guys hearing about the drunk lezzo hookup will quickly pour you another). Which is good. It's a story to tell, generally, while you're drinking. What you want to avoid is stories about drinking, which are what novice drinkers usually fall back on. No one cares that you got totally loaded, at least not conversationally. It's perhaps the most boring thing to listen to for anyone who's already gone through it (add to that the "I never get a hangover" stories). So try to keep your drinking times correlated with the good drinking stories, and try to avoid telling stories about drinking.
posted by klangklangston at 5:38 PM on June 19, 2007
Haha. Right. My spidey sense is tingling all over this one (12 shots? For a first-time drinker? Over, what, a couple hours? Either you're William Perry in a dress or you're exagerating).
Most of the good advice has been hit upthread, so I'll go with some post-drinking advice— What you've got now is a drinking story (though one you'll want to be careful about deploying. Most guys hearing about the drunk lezzo hookup will quickly pour you another). Which is good. It's a story to tell, generally, while you're drinking. What you want to avoid is stories about drinking, which are what novice drinkers usually fall back on. No one cares that you got totally loaded, at least not conversationally. It's perhaps the most boring thing to listen to for anyone who's already gone through it (add to that the "I never get a hangover" stories). So try to keep your drinking times correlated with the good drinking stories, and try to avoid telling stories about drinking.
posted by klangklangston at 5:38 PM on June 19, 2007
Response by poster: I would not discount the poster's assertion she had 12 shots of vodka. My first night drinking I had easily that within the space of a half-hour, and a few shots of Bailey's before. I was hurting, man, I was hurting, and I didn't die because most of it came right up in the next half-hour, but I was alive. So if this girl managed to spread it out over a couple of hours she'd be drunk but she wouldn't be dead.
posted by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on June 19, 2007
I like magikker's advice (It "makes" people do crazy things because people think that it will). I once read a book where a character said 'the reason Americans drink is so they have an excuse to do the things they want to do anyway'.
I took an anthropology course about religion and ritual wherein it was emphasized that every culture has rituals that take you outside of your day-to-day life, These rituals are characterized by a middle stage called liminality where things get all topsy-turvy. Some believe we have a deep need for this.
A bar night is a social ritual. You prepare by pre-drinking and waiting in line with your friends. At the end maybe you you sleep with someone, and the next morning you commiserate over a hangover and eat greasy food for breakfast and have strengthened your friendships with your bar buddies. In between, normal social boundaries are broken down. Overt flirting and come-ons are allowed and encouraged. You can kiss and make out and dance and grope in full view of everyone. Men pick fights with each other. Among those in the bar, a new social hierarchy forms which may be different from that in the real world.
In this sense alcohol is like a ritual potion. Drinking it pushes you into this other state of mind where you are accept the removal of these boundaries, and when daylight comes you can gracefully return to civilized society by blaming the alcohol for anything embarassing you may have done. Notably, you do not have to have been ridiculously drunk for this excuse to work. As long as your speech was slurred, people will forgive you for just about anything. It's all part of the ritual.
Therefore, you don't need to drink twelve shots. Your friends have no way of knowing how drunk you really are unless you throw up or pass out, and you should cut yourself off long before then anyway. Drink slowly, get buzzed until you feel loose, and then enjoy the evening. Have fun and do what you want. That's what bar nights are for!
posted by PercussivePaul at 5:42 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
I took an anthropology course about religion and ritual wherein it was emphasized that every culture has rituals that take you outside of your day-to-day life, These rituals are characterized by a middle stage called liminality where things get all topsy-turvy. Some believe we have a deep need for this.
A bar night is a social ritual. You prepare by pre-drinking and waiting in line with your friends. At the end maybe you you sleep with someone, and the next morning you commiserate over a hangover and eat greasy food for breakfast and have strengthened your friendships with your bar buddies. In between, normal social boundaries are broken down. Overt flirting and come-ons are allowed and encouraged. You can kiss and make out and dance and grope in full view of everyone. Men pick fights with each other. Among those in the bar, a new social hierarchy forms which may be different from that in the real world.
In this sense alcohol is like a ritual potion. Drinking it pushes you into this other state of mind where you are accept the removal of these boundaries, and when daylight comes you can gracefully return to civilized society by blaming the alcohol for anything embarassing you may have done. Notably, you do not have to have been ridiculously drunk for this excuse to work. As long as your speech was slurred, people will forgive you for just about anything. It's all part of the ritual.
Therefore, you don't need to drink twelve shots. Your friends have no way of knowing how drunk you really are unless you throw up or pass out, and you should cut yourself off long before then anyway. Drink slowly, get buzzed until you feel loose, and then enjoy the evening. Have fun and do what you want. That's what bar nights are for!
posted by PercussivePaul at 5:42 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
1) You can really only learn from experience. Learn to feel when you're getting that pleasant buzz. Learn to recognize that tight feeling in the front of your skull that means you're getting dehydrated. Learn what the next stage beyond tipsy feels like, and how you feel just before it starts.
Also, don't drink shots. Holy crap.
2) It's probably okay to have one drink a night. Depending on your weight and some other physical characteristics, it's probably okay to have two drinks a night. It's probably not okay to have three drinks every day. It's certainly not okay to feel like you have to have a drink or five every day. It's not okay to stay dry all week and then binge every Friday and Saturday.
Everybody is going to have a different definition for you, so you'll have to decide for yourself who to listen to. Given your background, I think you should start with a very conservative set of personal guidelines and then branch out if and when you feel comfortable doing so.
Your personal guidelines might include rules like: Never drink alone. Always have at least one non-alcoholic drink after each alcoholic drink. Stop drinking after three drinks. Don't drink more than three units of alcohol a week. Etc.
3) Stop drinking. If you are feeling an urge to act crazy, then one of two things is happening: you've had too much to drink and need to switch to soda or water, or you're repressing your own natural inclinations and you're using alcohol as an excuse to cut loose. If it's the former, learn how to recognize when you're getting that drunk, and stop drinking before you reach that point. If it's the latter, try acting "crazy" while you're sober and see what happens.
4) Schroedinger brings up a good point. If you're drinking in a bar, and somebody you don't know buys you a drink, then only accept your drink from the hand of the bartender. Don't leave your glass/bottle unattended while you're dancing. Make sure you and your friends are savvy enough to run interference for each other: if a friend is acting weird, don't let her go home with that nice stranger, and make sure your friends know to do the same for you. The odds of somebody trying to drug you are small, but easily managed, so be mindful.
posted by joannemerriam at 5:46 PM on June 19, 2007
Also, don't drink shots. Holy crap.
2) It's probably okay to have one drink a night. Depending on your weight and some other physical characteristics, it's probably okay to have two drinks a night. It's probably not okay to have three drinks every day. It's certainly not okay to feel like you have to have a drink or five every day. It's not okay to stay dry all week and then binge every Friday and Saturday.
Everybody is going to have a different definition for you, so you'll have to decide for yourself who to listen to. Given your background, I think you should start with a very conservative set of personal guidelines and then branch out if and when you feel comfortable doing so.
Your personal guidelines might include rules like: Never drink alone. Always have at least one non-alcoholic drink after each alcoholic drink. Stop drinking after three drinks. Don't drink more than three units of alcohol a week. Etc.
3) Stop drinking. If you are feeling an urge to act crazy, then one of two things is happening: you've had too much to drink and need to switch to soda or water, or you're repressing your own natural inclinations and you're using alcohol as an excuse to cut loose. If it's the former, learn how to recognize when you're getting that drunk, and stop drinking before you reach that point. If it's the latter, try acting "crazy" while you're sober and see what happens.
4) Schroedinger brings up a good point. If you're drinking in a bar, and somebody you don't know buys you a drink, then only accept your drink from the hand of the bartender. Don't leave your glass/bottle unattended while you're dancing. Make sure you and your friends are savvy enough to run interference for each other: if a friend is acting weird, don't let her go home with that nice stranger, and make sure your friends know to do the same for you. The odds of somebody trying to drug you are small, but easily managed, so be mindful.
posted by joannemerriam at 5:46 PM on June 19, 2007
Exmormon.org is your friend. Your problem is, to say the least, not unusual.
Repeat your problem on the forum there. The replies will be helpful. You do not need to be an actual ex-mormon to post or interact there--the group has all kinds of people--I am a nevermo who lived in SLC for a while many years ago, and look in from time to time.
posted by hexatron at 6:11 PM on June 19, 2007
Repeat your problem on the forum there. The replies will be helpful. You do not need to be an actual ex-mormon to post or interact there--the group has all kinds of people--I am a nevermo who lived in SLC for a while many years ago, and look in from time to time.
posted by hexatron at 6:11 PM on June 19, 2007
Everybody who ever drank vodka (to a first approximation, anyway) got pissed as a maggot very soon after starting. This is in no way healthy, but it's perfectly normal behaviour. At some point, if this has not already happened to you, you are probably going to go completely over the edge, spend countless horrid hours throwing up, and have an absolutely bastard hangover the next day. This is normal too. The same pattern applies to just about any mind-altering substance - inexperienced users often tend to abuse them because they know no better yet. It's like falling off a bicycle you haven't yet learned how to ride.
Once you have spent those miserable hours looking at your own disgusting reflection in a pool of vomit-filled toilet water, though: if you're like most people, you simply decide not to go there again. You get good at feeling the various stages of your substance of choice's effects coming on, you get good at predicting how much you'll need to use to get the effect you want, and you'll generally end up limiting yourself to operating within your substance comfort zone most of the time.
The best advice I can give you about recreational drugs (of which alcohol is by far the most commonly used) is this: never, never, never use them off-label. That is, do not self-medicate with a recreational drug in order to try to make a bad, dull or boring situation better. This is the pathway to addiction.
Recreational drugs are for making good situations different, not bad situations good. Learning to use them, not rely on them, will give you the skills to enjoy them responsibly for life.
If you think about the buzz you get from your substance of choice as a good time bought on credit, and be mindful of your body's need to pay for it eventually (with, for example, extra sleep and extra nutrition and extra exercise) you won't go too far wrong.
posted by flabdablet at 7:06 PM on June 19, 2007
Once you have spent those miserable hours looking at your own disgusting reflection in a pool of vomit-filled toilet water, though: if you're like most people, you simply decide not to go there again. You get good at feeling the various stages of your substance of choice's effects coming on, you get good at predicting how much you'll need to use to get the effect you want, and you'll generally end up limiting yourself to operating within your substance comfort zone most of the time.
The best advice I can give you about recreational drugs (of which alcohol is by far the most commonly used) is this: never, never, never use them off-label. That is, do not self-medicate with a recreational drug in order to try to make a bad, dull or boring situation better. This is the pathway to addiction.
Recreational drugs are for making good situations different, not bad situations good. Learning to use them, not rely on them, will give you the skills to enjoy them responsibly for life.
If you think about the buzz you get from your substance of choice as a good time bought on credit, and be mindful of your body's need to pay for it eventually (with, for example, extra sleep and extra nutrition and extra exercise) you won't go too far wrong.
posted by flabdablet at 7:06 PM on June 19, 2007
When the song you're listening to is the best one ever written, stop drinking because you're on the peak.
Likely true. And just after -- go get a slice of pizza. Believe me -- it'll be the "best pizza you've ever had!"
posted by ericb at 8:43 PM on June 19, 2007
Likely true. And just after -- go get a slice of pizza. Believe me -- it'll be the "best pizza you've ever had!"
posted by ericb at 8:43 PM on June 19, 2007
The one every hour advice is really aimed at keeping you sober (enough to drive probably).
If you want to feel merry, but not too out of control, have two or three drinks in the first hour, then slow down, have some food, dance etc.
This will give you a pleasant out look that a drink an hour after that will maintain.
Also, strongly agree on the water before bed.
posted by bystander at 9:10 PM on June 19, 2007
If you want to feel merry, but not too out of control, have two or three drinks in the first hour, then slow down, have some food, dance etc.
This will give you a pleasant out look that a drink an hour after that will maintain.
Also, strongly agree on the water before bed.
posted by bystander at 9:10 PM on June 19, 2007
4 months underage myself, but i do have two years at a state college under my belt.
I will admit to no wrongdoing myself, but i have talked to a few of-age people about this.
If you really want to remain in control, skip the liquor and just do beer or wine coolers. (I'm told) it's a different/less intense drunk.
posted by itheearl at 9:14 PM on June 19, 2007
I will admit to no wrongdoing myself, but i have talked to a few of-age people about this.
If you really want to remain in control, skip the liquor and just do beer or wine coolers. (I'm told) it's a different/less intense drunk.
posted by itheearl at 9:14 PM on June 19, 2007
Lots of good advice here that doesn't need further repeating, so I'll just give you the one bit I haven't seen yet. When I was in college and would go out drinking, it was always very obvious to me ahead of time what my temptation would be once the inhibitions were loosened. So before I would go out drinking, I would consider what my likely embarrassments would be for the night, and I would give myself a hard limit on what behavior was and wasn't acceptable. When I'm drunk I can easily make excuses for questionable behavior, but if I've decided beforehand where the line should be drawn, then even my drunk self can follow those rules.
This led to many lucky near misses, as the conversations in my head went like this:
"[friend] is such a good friend, and he's been so nice lately, maybe we should just hook up. But wait, I knew when I was sober that I would feel like this, and I knew at that point that it would mess up our friendship if anything happened between us. BUT I REALLY WANT TO!!! But I said I wouldn't. Ok, I won't."
"Everyone seems so impressed with how much alcohol I'm drinking. I should probably drink more, and they'll like me even more! But wait, I knew when I was sober that I would be feeling insecure and wanting to impress these people, and I promised myself that I wouldn't have more than X drinks tonight. But what if they think I'm lame if I stop drinking? Eh, sober vytae knows best. Water, please."
And sometimes, on the other hand, I would give myself specific permission for something. Maybe I'd been trying to work up the courage to make a move on a guy for a while, so I'd tell myself, "You're going to feel more brave about going after this guy once you've had a few drinks. That's good. Be brave. Make the move. Have fun!" So once I was tipsy, I didn't have to wonder whether my interest in the guy was just due to the alcohol, and I didn't have to wonder whether I was making a drunken, idiotic move - I could just do what I wanted to do and not worry that I was making an ass of myself.
I'm sure that with a few minutes of thought before drinking, you can figure out where your embarrassment risks are, and make smart and clear decisions about them while you're still sober. Then all you have to do is take your own advice, later on.
And obviously, some of the first lines you should draw for yourself are permanent ones that involve your safety: I will not drive if there's any question that I might still be under the influence, I will not have unprotected sex, I will not go home with a strange man (adjust this one as appropriate to your particular philosophy, but then stick to whatever you decide), etc.
posted by vytae at 9:22 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
This led to many lucky near misses, as the conversations in my head went like this:
"[friend] is such a good friend, and he's been so nice lately, maybe we should just hook up. But wait, I knew when I was sober that I would feel like this, and I knew at that point that it would mess up our friendship if anything happened between us. BUT I REALLY WANT TO!!! But I said I wouldn't. Ok, I won't."
"Everyone seems so impressed with how much alcohol I'm drinking. I should probably drink more, and they'll like me even more! But wait, I knew when I was sober that I would be feeling insecure and wanting to impress these people, and I promised myself that I wouldn't have more than X drinks tonight. But what if they think I'm lame if I stop drinking? Eh, sober vytae knows best. Water, please."
And sometimes, on the other hand, I would give myself specific permission for something. Maybe I'd been trying to work up the courage to make a move on a guy for a while, so I'd tell myself, "You're going to feel more brave about going after this guy once you've had a few drinks. That's good. Be brave. Make the move. Have fun!" So once I was tipsy, I didn't have to wonder whether my interest in the guy was just due to the alcohol, and I didn't have to wonder whether I was making a drunken, idiotic move - I could just do what I wanted to do and not worry that I was making an ass of myself.
I'm sure that with a few minutes of thought before drinking, you can figure out where your embarrassment risks are, and make smart and clear decisions about them while you're still sober. Then all you have to do is take your own advice, later on.
And obviously, some of the first lines you should draw for yourself are permanent ones that involve your safety: I will not drive if there's any question that I might still be under the influence, I will not have unprotected sex, I will not go home with a strange man (adjust this one as appropriate to your particular philosophy, but then stick to whatever you decide), etc.
posted by vytae at 9:22 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
- Drink with people you know and trust, while you're getting your bearings. Don't drink with people who will try to egg you on, and don't make too much whoopty-do about "I'm an innocent Mormon girl in the big wide world, oh, who will teach me about life?" -- since that will only encourage people who want to see how drunk they can get you.
- If you're on a first date with a man you don't know, don't leave him alone with your drink. (It is possible to drug a drink. Rare but worth being aware of.)
- While you're getting your bearings, try going out to dinner with friends and getting a beer or a glass of wine with your meal. If you're built small, this will be enough for a small buzz -- a warm feeling in your face, maybe a little more laughing than usual, but nothing crazy. Once you've had your one drink, then get water or pop for the rest of the meal. Notice how the effects of the alcohol trail off over time.
- Then try that with two beers, or two glasses of wine. Do you feel a difference between the buzzes? Is either of these a comfortable level of buzz where you'd like to hang out?
- I'm built smallish and have a very fast metabolism. Two pints of beer is my limit for an evening -- and usually with a meal. It's my limit because one pint (well, ok, 1/2 pint) puts me in the happy buzzy place, warm, laughing, goofing around with friends, and then I can just nurse the second pint over the rest of the evening - alternating with water - and then I'm ready to go home and curl up on the couch, sleepy and happy. I'm sober enough to walk home with no problem, and I don't get a monster headache the next day. I know I will feel bad, or really embarrass myself, if I drink more, so I just don't. I probably do that (or a little less) once or twice a week, more often if we have visitors. We don't keep alcohol in the house, for the most part.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:47 PM on June 19, 2007
- If you're on a first date with a man you don't know, don't leave him alone with your drink. (It is possible to drug a drink. Rare but worth being aware of.)
- While you're getting your bearings, try going out to dinner with friends and getting a beer or a glass of wine with your meal. If you're built small, this will be enough for a small buzz -- a warm feeling in your face, maybe a little more laughing than usual, but nothing crazy. Once you've had your one drink, then get water or pop for the rest of the meal. Notice how the effects of the alcohol trail off over time.
- Then try that with two beers, or two glasses of wine. Do you feel a difference between the buzzes? Is either of these a comfortable level of buzz where you'd like to hang out?
- I'm built smallish and have a very fast metabolism. Two pints of beer is my limit for an evening -- and usually with a meal. It's my limit because one pint (well, ok, 1/2 pint) puts me in the happy buzzy place, warm, laughing, goofing around with friends, and then I can just nurse the second pint over the rest of the evening - alternating with water - and then I'm ready to go home and curl up on the couch, sleepy and happy. I'm sober enough to walk home with no problem, and I don't get a monster headache the next day. I know I will feel bad, or really embarrass myself, if I drink more, so I just don't. I probably do that (or a little less) once or twice a week, more often if we have visitors. We don't keep alcohol in the house, for the most part.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:47 PM on June 19, 2007
LobsterMitten has raised an extremely important point, and it bears repeating: drink with people you know and trust.
Same goes for any recreational drug.
It's extra, extra important for drugs you don't have much experience with.
posted by flabdablet at 11:32 PM on June 19, 2007
Same goes for any recreational drug.
It's extra, extra important for drugs you don't have much experience with.
posted by flabdablet at 11:32 PM on June 19, 2007
Learn your limits and count your drinks! If you can't remember how many you've had you should switch to water!
posted by benign at 11:36 PM on June 19, 2007
posted by benign at 11:36 PM on June 19, 2007
I should also say: I didn't start drinking until I was 29 -- family history of alcoholism, so I was a teetotaler. Never had a crazy bar night, never got drunk at a frat party, never drunk with entirely people I didn't know beforehand, never drunk to pukingly huge excess. I avoided that stuff at the time of life when my friends were doing it, and I don't regret that at all. (Though of course, they liked it and more power to them.)
When I didn't drink, I was sort of afraid and fascinated with - as you seem to be - the huge over-indulgence, the Wild Night Out, etc -- the power of alcohol to take over and make you act Drunk. Just as, before I had sex, I was sort of fixated on it being this huge secret magical life experience - what would it be like?? could a good person have sex with someone they didn't know all that well?? could a good person go out to a bar, and drink, and not come home a raging alcoholic? etc. But having done both with good friends, that fascination with the mystery is gone, and now I can see these things as just part of a normal life. It's good. I recommend it as a state to move towards, and you can experiment with heavy drinking along the way -- or not!
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:41 PM on June 19, 2007
When I didn't drink, I was sort of afraid and fascinated with - as you seem to be - the huge over-indulgence, the Wild Night Out, etc -- the power of alcohol to take over and make you act Drunk. Just as, before I had sex, I was sort of fixated on it being this huge secret magical life experience - what would it be like?? could a good person have sex with someone they didn't know all that well?? could a good person go out to a bar, and drink, and not come home a raging alcoholic? etc. But having done both with good friends, that fascination with the mystery is gone, and now I can see these things as just part of a normal life. It's good. I recommend it as a state to move towards, and you can experiment with heavy drinking along the way -- or not!
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:41 PM on June 19, 2007
Someone above already said something like this, but it bears repeating: get yourself some new drinking buddies who are going to do a better job of looking after you than letting you down 12 shots your first time out. Yeesh.
posted by juv3nal at 1:03 AM on June 20, 2007
posted by juv3nal at 1:03 AM on June 20, 2007
it takes a while from when you swallow a drink til it hits your bloodstream; for me it's about a half an hour. you'll learn this by experience but i'm telling you now: there was surely some point last night where you sat down kind of woozily and said to yourself "whoa, fuck.. i'm drunk." you were already too drunk by then.
if you want to enjoy drinking but not get out-of-control plastered, learn what tipsy feels like, and recognize your body's response to alcohol comes with a built-in delay. slow down.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 3:22 AM on June 20, 2007
if you want to enjoy drinking but not get out-of-control plastered, learn what tipsy feels like, and recognize your body's response to alcohol comes with a built-in delay. slow down.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 3:22 AM on June 20, 2007
I tend to stay away from spirits altogether. Beer, cider or wine. Don't mix, and don't have more than four.
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:57 AM on June 20, 2007
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:57 AM on June 20, 2007
The general guideline is that it takes about an hour to metabolize a drink. Also remember that it takes about a half-hour to feel the effects. Sounds like a lot of math, eh? It's not too bad -- if you have two drinks within an hour, then wait 45min-hour before having that third. (In my experience, it's a too-quick third drink that will derail the best of intentions.)
Keep a glass a water full so that you're not drinking the booze for thirst. Sip, don't gulp, the alcohol. If, for the love of god, you are even momentarily unsure of how many drinks you've had over the course of an evening, stop drinking.
If you do feel yourself getting too tipsy, you can always just bail on the party and go home. If that's not possible, drink more water. Breathe deeply. Get some fresh air. Wait quietly for at least an hour before even thinking about drinking anything else.
Your friends suck for letting you get drunk like that. Conversely, always take care of your friends when you're drinking together.
posted by desuetude at 6:32 AM on June 20, 2007
Keep a glass a water full so that you're not drinking the booze for thirst. Sip, don't gulp, the alcohol. If, for the love of god, you are even momentarily unsure of how many drinks you've had over the course of an evening, stop drinking.
If you do feel yourself getting too tipsy, you can always just bail on the party and go home. If that's not possible, drink more water. Breathe deeply. Get some fresh air. Wait quietly for at least an hour before even thinking about drinking anything else.
Your friends suck for letting you get drunk like that. Conversely, always take care of your friends when you're drinking together.
posted by desuetude at 6:32 AM on June 20, 2007
Oh, someone mentioned switching to water upthread. I try, when I'm out for a serious night of drinking, to alternate one glass of water for every drink I have. Keeps me from dyin'.
posted by klangklangston at 12:13 PM on June 20, 2007
posted by klangklangston at 12:13 PM on June 20, 2007
3)Effective tips for regulating yourself when tipsy? How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
Practice, practice, practice
posted by hatchetjack at 1:52 PM on June 20, 2007
Practice, practice, practice
posted by hatchetjack at 1:52 PM on June 20, 2007
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There are many ways to moderate. First, stay away from shots. Shots are either the begning of or the end to either a very good or equaly bad evening. There is too much play in that equation so stick to modest mixed drinks or beer. Alternate between an alcoholic beverage and water (or soda if you want to keep the appearence of drinking booze.)
How much is too much?
This is completely subjective and will not only vary form person to person but from situation to situation. If you're on a first date pace your drinking lest you wind up in dire straights. If you're out with friends, go nuts (within reason.)
You won't know what your true limits are until you get some more experience drinking.
How do you not give in to the urge to act crazy?
There is no staving off the urge. It either comes or it doesn't. You have to decide ahead of time if you want to be crazy or not and moderate your drinking accordingly.
Anything else?
You could have left out the part about making out with a girl - it makes your question seem exceedingly immature and almost fake.
If you're concerned about lesbian tendencies that's a whole 'nother question.
posted by wfrgms at 3:31 PM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]