Help me become a professional shop lifter.

May 9, 2007 12:25 PM

Help me become a professional shop lifter.

After reading Pierre-Joseph Proudhon book "what is property" and more or less agreeing with the statement that "all property is obtained though theft". I decided that would no longer be a sheep to modern society's twisted moral code, and decided to take up shop lifting as a hobby.

I found it was not particularly exciting however it was considerably easier than I had ever imagined.

I started small just stealing books, but now have moved onto stealing just about anything when im in a store and see an opportunity.

The most expensive items all have security tags on them, which i had a very close look at a few days ago when i was in my local tescos.. only be accosted by a store detective and fisked down when i left (i had decided against stealing anything that day..luckly)

This has made me realise shop lifting as a career is not an easy option and i will have to study hard to become good at it. So im looking for any tips/hints/advice/links you might have that could help progress in this field. Especialy regarding shop security devices and security methods

thanks

posted by complience to work & money (7 answers total)

Wendell will be here soon. Or not. He's the expert.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:29 PM on May 9, 2007

metatalk strikes again?
posted by peep at 12:31 PM on May 9, 2007

is there some sort of anti-eponysterical term we can apply to this post?
posted by gnutron at 12:31 PM on May 9, 2007

i love this thread allready!
posted by garethspor at 12:33 PM on May 9, 2007

Hey I got in just before this user was delet
posted by Dizzy at 12:33 PM on May 9, 2007

OK, I know wisecracks don't help people find answers, but: Stop being an idiot and do something with your life.
posted by widdershins at 12:33 PM on May 9, 2007

You'll need to be circumcised and have a declawed cat as a sidekick.
posted by ND¢ at 12:33 PM on May 9, 2007