Meet So-&-So, she has a dry sense of humor.

May 1, 2007 2:31 PM

I am often (75% of the time) characterized as having a dry sense of humor when introduced to new people by friends and co-workers. This phenomenon has only occurred in California and never once in Texas.

I can't put my finger on what this means. Is this a thinly veiled criticism or some kind of warning to those who meet me? Is my humor not appreciated in California? Should I pack my bags and move farther east? South?

posted by thehmmhmm to Human Relations (26 answers total)

Maybe it means people in Texas don't get your jokes.

I wouldn't take it as an insult.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 2:34 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

In my experience, it means "he says things that you might find funny, but he doesn't smile or laugh when he says them." It's a pretty value-neutral term.
posted by solid-one-love at 2:35 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have a very dry sense of humor, and when I meet new people they often don't realize I'm joking when I am. Perhaps your friends are trying to stave off those little awkward moments by forewarning people.
posted by not that girl at 2:42 PM on May 1, 2007

The above comments highlight the ambiguity. It probably means that it's not immediately obvious when you're joking, including because you don't signal it yourself. Usually it's a sign that the speaker finds you amusing but knows that it isn't clear to everyone else, and also that the speaker is impressed with his or her own more discerning sense of humor.

I suppose you could take it as an insult if you would prefer everyone to recognize you as a wit without need of any warning, but I wouldn't. Anyway, people are often introduced this way -- "Meet Jane, you'll like her, she's hilarious/shares your sense of humor/etc." -- when you think it'd be self-demonstrating.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:43 PM on May 1, 2007

As for what These Premises said, I think people in Texas can appreciate a bit of sass (or irony, or wit, or what have you). Just think of the stereotypical sharp-tongued Southern belles.

That said, I think solid-one-love has got it, regarding the values of it. But it does seem like a strange way to introduce someone, and most likely is a way to prime the other person (in case they don't get the joke and are insulted?)

What's the usual context, and who's doing the introducing?
posted by lhall at 2:44 PM on May 1, 2007

I can't imagine what this is about. I have a dry sense of humor, am from Texas, and live in California. This has never happened to me quite in this way, though. There is a fine line between being dry and being sarcastic. Could that be it?
posted by MrFongGoesToLunch at 2:45 PM on May 1, 2007

A dry sense of humor is one which doesn't telegraph itself. I like dry humor so I'd consider it a compliment. And I'm from California.
posted by lekvar at 2:47 PM on May 1, 2007

I generally take it to mean roughly what solid-one-love says; often it's a mark of sophistication. Maybe the people you're interacting with in CA tend to make more-obvious jokes, or make it obvious by their facial expressions that they're making a joke. Maybe your jokes are more understated, and rely on irony and wordplay, more than theirs do? The English are usually said to have dry humor, relative to the American sense of humor, for example.

some references:
dry humour
dry humor

a good t-shirt
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:52 PM on May 1, 2007

I love the cat and girl shirt. I'm wearing it right now. I certainly wouldn't consider the characterization an insult in any way. I'm from CA but I don't live there now. I second the notion that they are just trying to help you avoid the awkward moment where people don't realize you are joking.
posted by subtle_squid at 3:11 PM on May 1, 2007

Saying you have a dry sense of humor requires knowing what that means. Maybe not a popular term in TX.
posted by smackfu at 3:23 PM on May 1, 2007

The "dry sense of humor" may well be a regional term. I don't recall hearing that phrasing from native Texans, although perhaps from people who moved here. I did hear it used from time to time by people when I lived in California.
posted by Robert Angelo at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2007

I live in California, and I use "dry sense of humor" as a compliment. I don't think the term's a regionalism, though -- I've lived all over the country and have heard (and used) the term wherever I've gone.

In any case, I associate a dry humor with someone who's clever and deadpan at the same time. It's a good thing.
posted by scody at 3:45 PM on May 1, 2007

I'm from California and have been told I have a dry sense of humor. It may not be a state thing. Then again, if you are in San Francisco, hotbed of earnestness, that may have something to do with it.
posted by dame at 4:15 PM on May 1, 2007

To really have a dry sense of humor you need to be told that you do in England. Humor tends to be much drier there. This isn't meant as oneupmanship, it's just that from my experience living in both countries (although I've never lived in CA) there's dry humor and then there's dry humor.
posted by ob at 4:17 PM on May 1, 2007

To have a dry sense of humor means that you don't tell people when it's okay to laugh at you. Some people like this, some people don't.
posted by rhizome at 4:24 PM on May 1, 2007

I've heard this as a compliment out here in CA. It's considered the height of humor by many. There are a lot of sensitive ninnies out here, though, so perhaps your friends are just making sure folks understand you the right way.
posted by scarabic at 4:26 PM on May 1, 2007

There are a lot of sensitive ninnies out here, though

Hee. It's funny 'cause it's true!
posted by scody at 4:44 PM on May 1, 2007

This seems sort of like you're trying to find a pattern in something more random- but I don't live your life or know what your friends in Texas or California are like. Do your friends in Texas and California (or the people you're bing introduced to) have anything different between them other than geographical location?

I've been looking forward to moving out of Texas for college but now I'm considering investing in a tshirt that says "From Texas, Not Dumb (I promise)" just to save myself some convincing time. Jeez, people.
posted by MadamM at 4:58 PM on May 1, 2007

For what it's worth, I've also heard people refer to someone as having a "dry sense of humor" as code for "this guy has no sense of humor." I mean, dry humor rocks, but more times than not in my experience, someone who was being introduced as having a "dry" sense of humor meant that he actually had "no" sense of humor.
posted by mckenney at 5:31 PM on May 1, 2007

In Texas all humor is dry
posted by zia at 6:28 PM on May 1, 2007

I'm notorious among friends for arid humour, and I've been explicitly described to others - by people who find me genuinely amusing - as dry. I think they do this mainly so folks don't think I'm mean or simply insane, since if I'm talking, there's a 50% chance I'm joking. But, yes, I'd also agree that people sometimes do this to signal that they're in on the humour, that they're subtle enough to get it.

Whether they mean it as one or not, I'd take it as a compliment.
posted by poweredbybeard at 6:58 PM on May 1, 2007

Best answer: Maybe this has nothing to do without how people are perceiving you, but rather the subtle cultural differences in formalities in introductions. Maybe people in california are more apt to say something about somebody's personality when introducing someone else, than those in Texas. Just a thought.

I wouldn't read anything into it either way. Having a dry sense of humor is a gift. 'sides, people don't normally introduce other people with openers that are insults. "Hi, I'd like you to meet So-and-so, she smells real bad, if you hadn't noticed already."
posted by iamkimiam at 7:13 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have a dry sense of humour - and I love it. And I'd like to live in California. Americans, humour? Dry humour? Seriously?
posted by tomw at 2:37 AM on May 2, 2007

I have a dry sense of humour - and I love it. And I'd like to live in California. Americans, humour? Dry humour? Seriously?

A rare example of a self-negating assertion.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 3:52 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

In Texas all humor is dry

Heh, that's what I was thinking while reading this. Most of the people I've been around in Texas have dry humor.
posted by koshka at 1:27 PM on May 2, 2007

I used to get that a lot in high school, in Texas, so it's not that Texans don't know what dry humor is. I think iamkimiam has it; Californians may be more likely to comment on your personality than Texans.
posted by donajo at 1:45 PM on May 2, 2007