When I think about you, I touch my Elf.

March 15, 2007 8:23 PM

The topic of sexual arousal came up with a friend the other day and I realized that I experience a strong sensation that may be unique...

When the making out gets really good, during penetrative sex, and even when I am thinking about a someone special (on occasion) I get this wonderful sensation. It is a lot like the feeling you get when a rollercoaster goes over that first dive and your stomach lurches up into your chest. This feeling is intense and is a full-body response. Unlike sexual arousal leading to orgasm, it is not an increase of tension, but is sort of a knee-buckling, melting feeling.

I was surprised, and saddened, to learn that my male friend has never felt this. I can't imagine I am alone. Does this sound familiar to anybody? Is this a girl thing?

posted by Foam Pants to health & fitness (41 answers total)

i think i know what you're talking about and fwiw i'm a female
posted by mittenedsex at 8:29 PM on March 15, 2007

Yeah, totally. I'm also a girl but I always assumed that's what people meant by "butterflies in your stomach".
posted by pazazygeek at 8:37 PM on March 15, 2007

I get this too and am a girl. And this is totally eponysterical.
posted by youcancallmeal at 8:39 PM on March 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

Guy post: It's a pretty good description of what I also assumed that's what people meant by "butterflies in your stomach" and sounds like what I feel when one of a couple of mild phobias kick in. I don't find it especially enjoyable.
posted by krisjohn at 8:46 PM on March 15, 2007

...and your heart is pounding like a priest in kindergarten.

don't worry, every guy knows that feeling. it's pure excitement. perhaps it manifests itself slightly different (I think not but I've never been a girl) but we all know it.
posted by krautland at 8:50 PM on March 15, 2007

I get that sensation sometimes but only during a few specific foreplay things. (I'm a guy)
posted by shanevsevil at 9:03 PM on March 15, 2007

Prof. Hawking, you dirty dawg!
posted by rob511 at 9:17 PM on March 15, 2007

Nobody is unique. You are not, I'm sorry to say, a special snowflake, although it's nice sometimes to think that you are. It's actually a good thing that people are so much the same in so many ways while being so different.

In other words, me too, like other in this thread. But I also get it when listening to music sometimes, or looking at some beautiful natural vista, or during an intense emotional moment in really good drama, or in lots of other situations.

It is not for nothing that we talk about 'butterflies in the stomach' or a 'gut feeling' or 'gut instinct' or 'being kicked in the gut' or a host of other idioms. Some Googling will bring back some very interesting research on the degree to which our stomachs are barometers of our emotional states.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:18 PM on March 15, 2007

Going by your description, I would say I've felt it. I'm a guy.

And you know, I've also felt it in a very different setting: while playing music with other musicians. When several people are playing their instruments at the same time, you are in this sort of "bubble" and being there playing one of the instruments, you get some kind of "feedback of energy (or emotion)," I guess, and sometimes, when going from one part of the song to another (or when I have to sing or other voices come in) I feel that "rush." It may be unrelated, or it may be that, we get that sensation from "connecting" with other people.
posted by micayetoca at 9:21 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yes, I've had it from music too, and also from beautiful cities such as New York or Chicago or San Francisco, often when approaching them fast by plane or car. Suddenly at a certain angle there's the city spread out and shining and it just happens.
posted by tangerine at 9:28 PM on March 15, 2007

With a hundred horsepower between my legs, I used to get that feeling any time I found a twisty mountain road with constant radius curves. And I lived in east Tennessee... :-)
posted by paulsc at 10:02 PM on March 15, 2007

I get it almost predictably when I come home from a long trip. My nerves are usually shot and I'm usually tired and there is one part of the trip home, where the car (or bus) rounds a curve and instead of the endless billboards and traffic and people and noise and overstimulation, there is a sudden vista and all of New Hampshire and Vermont (it seems) are sprawled out with their big green mountains and tall trees and rolling hills and rivers and peaceful whatever and it makes me feel that way. I've felt it other times (yeah with partners, or after a great nap walking up to the afternoon sun or when I'm having a realy clicking conversation with a good friend) but that's my one repeatable trigger for it.
posted by jessamyn at 10:08 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've always considered those to be "moments of joy". I might be misunderstanding your description though.
posted by meta87 at 10:19 PM on March 15, 2007

That's the feeling I think of when I hear the word "heady."
posted by Lyn Never at 10:25 PM on March 15, 2007

I've felt something similar to the music response people are describing and also when I am particularly touched by something. The feeling I get in association with sexual/emotional arousal is all encompassing. When I am feeling it, my mind practically shuts down and my legs give out a little. I always assumed that those love scenes in movies where people just can't stop themselves and end up in a huge heap on the floor, that feeling was what they were feeling, not necessarily sexual arousal. While I can control sexual arousal and am completely aware of the decisions I am making, that whole wing-wang butterfly feeling knocks all sense from my noggin'.
posted by Foam Pants at 10:41 PM on March 15, 2007

I've had that from various things. During really special moments with people that I have a strong connection with. During once-in-a-lifetime moments in travel. It's also a feeling that I have felt in the pit of my stomach during moments of really high creativity, when I'm right in the middle of accomplishing something I find super exciting.

A long time ago, I read somewhere that the feeling many artists & musicians get when they are creating is the same adrenaline rush that a criminal feels when they are in the middle of committing a crime. I can actually see that.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:45 PM on March 15, 2007

When I started reading this thread, I thought "I know that feeling, but I can't remember the last time I've felt it. I'm going to be compelled to post a really depressing comment in this thread." But then I read some more examples and they triggered recent memories of joy that I'd almost forgotten.
-Realizing that I had a really good friend.
-My girlfriend coming up with a solution that would let me go to the school of my dreams and have her be happy about it.
-Dancing with abandon to really good music.
Thank you, Ask Metafilter.
posted by lostburner at 10:56 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I get it when I see the first signs of spring. It really is close to orgasmic, but you know, different. But definitely a physiological response. My friends think I'm nuts.
posted by np312 at 11:28 PM on March 15, 2007

I get it almost predictably when I come home from a long trip.

Exactly the same here. It must the our birthdays.
posted by anildash at 11:56 PM on March 15, 2007

Guy here. I get that from hugs.
posted by vanoakenfold at 1:00 AM on March 16, 2007

i've had that during arousal to sex, (once just by touching a male friend - it left me speechless and him amused), on big rides, and just after a near accident. I feel something similar but different when I'm in the zone with my art. It's more mellow but longer. I thought it had something to do with adrenalin.
posted by b33j at 1:04 AM on March 16, 2007

That's how my orgasms feel!

why am I even writing this online
posted by divabat at 1:20 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yes, it's familiar. Especially at 6000 rpm!
posted by kmennie at 2:30 AM on March 16, 2007

I get a similar feeling when something I perceive to be especially bad dawns on me; realising I've said or done something to upset a friend is probably the most common trigger, though other sudden shifts in perspective (not necessarily bad) can cause similar feelings; the expression "the bottom fell out of the world" is a good description — good on a rollercoaster, bad when you slip over a cliff.

I can easily see the same feeling applying to other strongly emotive experiences like sex or rollercoasters. Be happy that's what you can associate it with :)
posted by Freaky at 4:37 AM on March 16, 2007

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have had that feeling when I am thinking about someone on which I have a crush.
posted by Wong Fei-hung at 5:22 AM on March 16, 2007

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have had that feeling when I am thinking about someone on which I have a crush.

Same here, but that's actually the only time I get it -- not when doing anything physical.
posted by danb at 6:51 AM on March 16, 2007

I'll chime in too. Love that feeling, especially when it comes out of nowhere a day after mind-blowing sex.
posted by saffry at 6:52 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I get it when I recall a particularly steamy/hot escapade that recently occurred. The memory of how hot it was sends that feeling shooting from my belly into my chest. Hehehe. Mmm...
posted by infinityjinx at 8:04 AM on March 16, 2007

This happens to me, although it's not necessarily sexual. (I often feel it after a particularly successful conversation in my non-native languages.) And I'm a guy, in case it matters.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 8:09 AM on March 16, 2007

"She makes me feel kinda funny. Like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class."

On a second read of your question, I don't think Garth is referring to the same feeling you are. But it's similar, and I know exactly what you're talking about. Sometimes, when I'm in a new relationship and firmly in the infatuation phase, I feel my stomach jump around just by remembering that I get to see that girl soon. I'm a guy.
posted by PhatLobley at 8:45 AM on March 16, 2007

Yes! I was just thinking of this the other day! For me it's 100% non-sexual. It's overwhelming and awesome.

I got it in school when they checked us for scoliosis or used the two combs to check us for lice. Does that sound crazy? I also used to get it as we approached the swimming pool when I was taking swimming lessons as a child.

My husband said he used to get the same feeling when the barber would vacuum the hair off the back of his neck.

Once in high school, this cool girl I barely knew grabbed my hand and said, "Oh, hey I love your nail polish." She was inspecting my nails and I was overcome with that feeling - it was like she petting me or something.
posted by peep at 9:02 AM on March 16, 2007

Um, I think that's "making out with your crush" / "minor love" feeling and I always assumed everyone felt it.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:17 AM on March 16, 2007

Also, I get this feeling about 3-5 times every time I see Explosions in the Sky. It's called joy.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:18 AM on March 16, 2007

On a second read of your question, I don't think Garth is referring to the same feeling you are.

Maybe not but he certainly felt it in the donut shop when he saw his dream girl and went flying across the room.
posted by allkindsoftime at 10:52 AM on March 16, 2007

I got it in school when they checked us for scoliosis or used the two combs to check us for lice.
Holy crap, I just remembered I got it during that stuff, too!
posted by Foam Pants at 11:17 AM on March 16, 2007

Reading Plato.

That is all.
posted by koeselitz at 12:23 PM on March 16, 2007

Yeah, I've had what I can only presume as a similar feeling. Like some have already called it in here, a moment of joy or intense excitement. I would say another way to describe it would be the same feeling you have just before you faint; or the same feeling you get when you go over a bridge.

I personally don't find this feeling anything similar to having butterflies in your stomach though. I usually get this from anticipation rather than being in the moment.
posted by Sevenupcan at 12:42 PM on March 16, 2007

I so get this. Right in the very center of my stomach. Especially when I'm thinking about something arousing that happened recently.
posted by santojulieta at 2:42 PM on March 16, 2007

I get this when I fondle my bellybutton. Not just a little poke, but if I really push deep, there it is. It's lessening with age though.
posted by Danila at 2:47 PM on March 16, 2007

I'll chime in too. Love that feeling, especially when it comes out of nowhere a day after mind-blowing sex.

that's when i get it too, much more so than when actually, uh, doing the stuff i'm remembering.
posted by ifjuly at 8:51 PM on March 16, 2007

all. the. time. pleasant and unpleasant reasons.
posted by loiseau at 11:36 PM on March 16, 2007