How do I ask an ex to quit calling?
February 27, 2007 7:35 PM Subscribe
Is it too pathetic to ask an ex who wants to be friends to quit calling me because I’m still stuck on him? If not, how can I do it and maintain a shred of dignity? What do I say?
posted by poxuppit to Human Relations (32 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I’m a 42 year old woman, which I mention up top because this is going to sound like the lamentations of a 16 year old drama queen and I’d rather you knew I was just fairly inexperienced with men, not an idiot kid.
So anyway, last summer, I met a guy and fell hard. But it soon became clear we were mismatched and so we kept everything casual. In the winter, a combination of a tiff, a misunderstanding and trips out of town conspired to keep us apart for a couple of months and by the time we were both back in the same city and in regular communication, things seemed to have changed. He turned down a few suggestions I made to get together, and never suggested any dates himself, and pointedly ignored any flirtatious emails. We never discussed it, but I got the message that any romance was over. Maybe he was bored of me, maybe he found a new girl. I don't know.
But for ages now, he's called or emailed at least once a day, just to chat. This would be fine, I love talking to him, except I haven’t been able to let go of my feelings for him. I still fantasize about the amazing sex, I still long for his arms around me. While part of me secretly still hopes maybe he’ll want me again, I know that’s stupid and that I must move on. But even though I've met some new men and at least one has made advances, I can't get interested because I'm still mooning over this guy I haven't even seen in months. It seems the only way I’ll stop obsessing is if I cut off contact, at least for a while. How can I do that, without sounding pathetic and psycho?