Dating someone with BPD?
February 26, 2007 8:15 AM Subscribe
Just starting to date someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, please help.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (68 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
I am not 100% sure that I can continue to deal with this. As someone who grew up around an unpredictable and emotionally and physically abusive mother, I'm fairly used to chaos and irrationality from people close to me, but I've never had to deal with any where close to this from somebody I've been in a relationship with.
She seems to have it more or less under control, except when she drinks. I didn't really get this until the second time we went out drinking and it ended in tears and accusations.
But even when she is not drinking, there is a constant "Love Me, Leave Me" struggle where she is demanding of constant affirmations of her worth and if I don't respond (and even if I do respond), it ends up with her saying how worthless she is, I don't love her enough and that I'm going to leave her.
Almost anything seems to set her off, and anything I say to fix it only makes it worse.
Generally, my attitude with anyone like this is to just fold up and ignore the situation, tell her she's being silly and go off to be by myself until she calms down, but I gather one symptom of BPD is severe fear of rejection, so every time I do this, she acts like I just broke up with her.
I don't know if I can deal with this for too much longer. Can someone tell me if this gets better as you stay in the relationship, or is this something I'm going to have to deal with indefinitely? I've only been dating her for a little over a month, so this is something I can put up with for a while if she's going to calm down later.
But if this is never going to get better, I feel like I should just get out now.
Has anyone else here dated someone with BPD before?