Order me a drink...

January 5, 2007 1:45 PM

LiquorFilter: I need help finding a manly drink that tastes good.

I'm not a big fan of beer (or maybe I just haven't found the right one), but when in social/business situations, I need a drink that I can order and actually like. I've always been a fan of tropical drinks, but they just don't relay the kind of masculine message I'm looking for.

A.) Suggest a tasty drink

-or-

B.) Tell me to man up, and suggest a drink

If you know the ingredients, please include them.

posted by ThFullEffect to food & drink (126 comments total)

Bombay Saphire (Gin), Tonic, a slice of Orange. Delicious.
posted by maxpower at 1:46 PM on January 5, 2007

why not drink whatever you like and screw the convention that "tropical drinks are for girls"? Confidence is the manliest thing of all.
If you've got to drink something "manly", Jim Beam and Coke isn't bad. Otherwise, I like Southern Comfort on the rocks.
posted by cosmicbandito at 1:48 PM on January 5, 2007

Seriously. Be a man. That means not conforming to BS stereotypes. Drink what you like to drink, drink it with confidence, and use the process to weed out the undesirables--i.e., the people who will judge you based on such ridiculous ideas.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:50 PM on January 5, 2007

I'm a fan of vodka tonics. no sure if that's manly or not though.
posted by tundro at 1:51 PM on January 5, 2007

How about a Gimlet? Gin (or vodka if you prefer) and Rose's sweetened lime juice.
Philip Marlowe drank them--doesn't get any more manly than that, dude.
posted by exceptinsects at 1:52 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

No one's a bigger or better man that Jeff Lebowski. Follow his lead and drink white russians, which are sweet and tasty.
posted by COBRA! at 1:52 PM on January 5, 2007

yeh, individualism is great and all, but if your primary reason in going out to the club/bar is to pick up women... then a pink fruity thing with a fruit swirl just won't cut it with many women, right or wrong.

I recommend a ginger-ale and whiskey/bourbon. Good luck.
posted by willie11 at 1:54 PM on January 5, 2007

It's easy to say drink what you want, but unfortunately I have a very young-looking face with what I consider to be somewhat feminine features. I appreciate the suggestion to not conform to the artificial structures of our society, but let's think inside the box on this one since most people do (otherwise they wouldn't be called 'norms').
posted by ThFullEffect at 1:54 PM on January 5, 2007

Bombay Saphire (Gin), Tonic, a slice of Orange. Delicious.

that's my favorite drink. but i happen to be gay. does that count?
posted by brandz at 1:55 PM on January 5, 2007

The secret is good liquor. 18-year-old Glenlivit is smooth enough to drink straight (as is Single-Barrel Jack Daniels), but get a it on the rocks so you have a chance to enjoy it and aren't tempted to do it as a shot.

If you really want a mixed drink, a long island iced tea is delicious when made correctly and looks just like, well, tea.

As long as it isn't served in a coconut monkey head with an umbrella you should be good, unless you are in a Chinese restaurant, in which case even a "suffering bastard" or "navy grog" look girly.
posted by JeremiahBritt at 1:56 PM on January 5, 2007

Shots of rye, straight up, no chaser.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:57 PM on January 5, 2007

A traditional margarita is a manly drink. 50% tequila, 25% orange liqueur, 25% fresh lime juice. Roses lime juice will work fine in a pinch. While it's fruity, women won't touch this thing. Most bars make a margarita that is much to sweet or with not enough tequila. If you can chat with the bartender they're more likely to make you the real thing. Ask for a traditional margarita - 50% tequila, lime juice rather than mix.
posted by Devidicus at 1:57 PM on January 5, 2007

A MANhattan?

Seriously, though, it's a good, stiff drink that is on the sweet side and has a cherry in it.
posted by murphy slaw at 1:58 PM on January 5, 2007

I recommend a ginger-ale and whiskey/bourbon.

That's my mixed drink of choice when the bar's beer offerings aren't up to snuff. Usually Jim Beam.

That said, you ought to learn to love beer. Start here.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:58 PM on January 5, 2007

I second the White Russians: vodka, coffee liqueur & milk/cream. It's almost a boozy chocolate milk. Call them Caucasians and be smug about it.
posted by unsupervised at 1:58 PM on January 5, 2007

what about a Whiskey Sour? i'm not sure how macho it is - personally i see it as pretty gender-neutral, but ymmv.
posted by the painkiller at 1:59 PM on January 5, 2007

A simple rum and coke. You can get them anywhere, and can still order "tasty" rum without giving the impression that you're wearing panties.

Try heading to a bar and trying out a few different rum and cokes. Try a "regular" rum and coke with "well" rum, try one with Captain Morgan's and rum (ordered as a "Captain and Coke"), try one with a tasty coconut rum too, like Malibu rum (ordered as "Malibu and Coke", or preferrably "Rum and Coke, Malibu please.").

Ask the bartender about other tasty rums too. Cherry Cabana Boy rum and Coke is wonderfully sublime, but you just can't expect to order it in a masculine way unless you develop some more confidence. If anyone gives you shit about ordering your drink of choice, simply be a good sport about it, brush it off, and ask for an extra umbrella in your drink - with a big smile.
posted by terpia at 1:59 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

Oh come on. Some people here apparently don't know how brutal some people can be in judging other people's taste.

I like this suggestion from Modern Drunkard Magazine: " To have a manly drink that agrees with your palate, you may have to create it yourself. This is actually a good thing, as long as you do it right. For example, you ask the bartender, “Have you got any rye whiskey?” He says, “We’ve got Jim Beam Rye.” You answer “Great, I’ll have a rye and Coke.” Now you’ve got something the right color and in the right glass, but you just basically ordered a Jim Beam and Coke. Brother to the Jack and Coke. Cousin to the rum and Coke, favored drink of teen boys nationwide. But you’ll probably get away with still looking like a man. Why? Because you asked about rye whiskey. Something only real men drink. And that’s what will stick in their minds. "

A guy friend of mine who doesn't like liquor usually orders Meyer's and tonic. Meyers has a nice dark rum flavor that smells sweet, but isn't. Don't just order rum and coke -- specify a brand of rum.
posted by wryly at 2:00 PM on January 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

i take it rum and coke you don't like? it's what most of the people i know drink, simply because everyone else does too.
posted by dflemingdotorg at 2:00 PM on January 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

My boyfriend is just about the the manliest man who ever manned (NOT RACIST SEXIST), and he drinks vodka + cranberry most of the time. (On the other hand, I'm usually the one drinking whiskey.)
posted by scody at 2:01 PM on January 5, 2007

As Jeremiah suggests, single malt scotch is amazing stuff. Top shelf tequila can be just as good to sip.

With respect to beer, be sure and try a good stout. Guinness is the typical example, but there are plenty of rich microbrew stouts out there as well.

Half of the fun of drinking is trying something new.
posted by b1tr0t at 2:01 PM on January 5, 2007

I know you said that you don't like beer, but you might want to check out micro-brewed beer available in your area. I am also not a beer fan but I've tried a few local beers and they are pretty damn tasty. I suggest that you go to your local liquor store, check out the local beers, and buy a few six packs.

Besides beer, I enjoy Long Island Iced Tea and White Russians. Mmm....
posted by Diskeater at 2:01 PM on January 5, 2007

Try Irish whiskey. I find it more drinkable than Scotch or Bourbon. Yes, a single malt Scotch might be quite tasty but find them less drinkable than Irish.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 2:02 PM on January 5, 2007

Second the Manhattan. A good, sexy drink that works well for men and women alike. For extra points, ask for Maker's and get it served straight up.

Good Friday afternoon question!
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:03 PM on January 5, 2007

chiming back in to third the Manhattan. mmmmmmmmmmmmm
posted by scody at 2:04 PM on January 5, 2007

I think an Amaretto Sour (which is, well, amaretto and sour mix) is both manly-sounding and girly-tasting. I'm sure it's what Wyatt Earp would have drank, in your position.
posted by muddgirl at 2:04 PM on January 5, 2007

Rob Roy- 1 1/2 oz scotch, 1/4 oz sweet vermouth, Angostura bitters to taste hold the cherry. An old school drink. that a lot of people don't order, so you may stand out a bit if that's what you want.
posted by Gungho at 2:06 PM on January 5, 2007

While seconding dirtynumbangelboy, I would recommend Southern Comfort with lemonade - if that's manly enough for a strapping lad like yourself.
posted by fire&wings at 2:06 PM on January 5, 2007

pink panties

A salty dog or a screwdriver, perhaps.
posted by cog_nate at 2:06 PM on January 5, 2007

Single-malt scotch. There might be a bar in your area with tastings so you can find a brand you like (scotches cover a wide spectrum of flavors). Nothing says "manly man who knows what he likes" better than single-malt scotch.

If you want something sweeter, port (something I spend way too much money on, and I only drink it at home).
posted by adamrice at 2:06 PM on January 5, 2007

nthing the single-malt scotch and bourbon recommendations, if you're looking that both tastes good and exudes an aura of manliness. If you don't like the perceived harshness of whiskey, try some of the lighter "small-batch" bourbons--Woodford Reserve, or (my favorite) Basil Hayden's.

A gin and tonic is also acceptable here, I think.
posted by Prospero at 2:07 PM on January 5, 2007

I'll second the Bombay and tonic. I'd never had Bombay Sapphire until recently that's good gin, at least better than the $10/gallon stuff usually available. A gin and tonic is not a sweet drink, but it's tasty, easy, and not harsh.

However I highly recommend just getting used to hard alcohol. Ever seen 25th Hour? Check out the end when Brian Cox savors a shot of whiskey, that's badass. I set a goal of being able to do that, really savor hard liquor without reacting to the harsh alcohol, and reached it pretty quick. Just have a couple of shots a night, then soon you're rockin' a glass of Scotch at a party saying "What? Mixers? No way!"
posted by Science! at 2:08 PM on January 5, 2007

Rob Roy (AKA - Scotch Manhattan):

1 1/2 oz. Scotch
1/4 oz. Sweet Vermouth
Combine in a shaker with ice. Strain into a Cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry. Can also be served on ice in a Rocks Glass and built right in the glass.

Dry Rob Roy:

- substitute Dry Vermouth for the Sweet Vermouth garnish with a lemon twist.

Perfect Rob Roy:

- Use a 1/4 oz. of both Sweet and Dry Vermouth garnish with a lemon twist
posted by trip and a half at 2:11 PM on January 5, 2007

Whiskey Sours are good, and they have whiskey in them, which is manly, right? Also, can't pretty much anyone order a rum and coke or a Jack and coke? I was never much of a beer drinker ( I guess I'm still really not) until I kept trying a lot of different beers, and was amazed at how different they can be. I have some favorites now, mostly microbrews and imports. I guess I'm turning into a beer snob.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 2:11 PM on January 5, 2007

You guys are awesome. I think I posted like 20 minutes ago and I already have a crapload of drinks to try. Shouldn't we all be working at this hour or something? :)
posted by ThFullEffect at 2:12 PM on January 5, 2007

Arnold Palmer. Rock it. Skip the booze.
posted by unixrat at 2:12 PM on January 5, 2007

Manly, tasty and strong - Manhattan. Tastes just fine, not so strong, and not girly - gingerale and rye (Canadian whisky), which is usually ordered as "ginger & rye." If you like vodka, OJ and vodka is sweet and fruity, or try a cape codder, which has cranberry juice. At home, I'm fond of grapefruit juice and bourbon, which tastes much better than it sounds.

In any case, as long as you don't leave the umbrella in your Mai Tai, your manhood is not an issue.
posted by theora55 at 2:15 PM on January 5, 2007

Bourbon. Ice if you want.
posted by electroboy at 2:17 PM on January 5, 2007

I think Rum/Jack and Coke are good standbys that bartenders can make quickly enough that they don't feel like grumbling. Plus, you'll never have to explain how to make one. I order R&C all the time without too much worry.

A Seven and Seven (7up and Seagram's 7) is also good sweet drink that avoids the tell-tale look of a Cola drink, if that's what you're worried about.
posted by washburn at 2:19 PM on January 5, 2007

Bombay + Tonic, Citadelle + Unsweetened White Grapefruit, or a Jameson's, neat.
posted by deern the headlice at 2:19 PM on January 5, 2007

I alway used to get Vodka + Red Bull at bars Id go to. Kept me awake to party with friends, and gave me a nice clean buzz and not much of a hangover in the morning.

My other favorite was Long Island Ice Teas, just be careful you sip... they taste like candy but are chock full of liquor. I drank 2 carafes once in quick succession and remember little else that night. Im told I yelled at girls to sit on my lap all night.
posted by skrike at 2:21 PM on January 5, 2007

I prefer lighter drinks. I like stoli-o and soda and a tom collins on a hot day is very nice as well. At home I drink gentlemen's jack or george dickle on the rocks.
posted by kookywon at 2:21 PM on January 5, 2007

Quien es mas macho? Perhaps specifying your preferred liquor brand will manly it up just right for you. A Vodka Collins with Ketel One, for example. It's manly to have a quality preference & not just drink whatever's behind the bar.

Personally, I think you should order the manliest drink possible -- a Dewars or Jack & Coke or whatever -- and no matter what you order you should DEMAND an umbrella. Don't take no for an answer. That would rock.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:24 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

I second the Rob Roy. Ordered one lately at a quasi-Mexican place and sent the wait and bar staff into a tizzy.

A simple whiskey and water may also work.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 2:25 PM on January 5, 2007

Bogart drinks Cointreau in Casablanca. It takes like orange and it's fairly intoxicating. He also drinks champagne cocktails.
posted by ontic at 2:27 PM on January 5, 2007

Rum and tonic with a squeeze of lime. If it was good enough for Hunter S Thompson it should be good enough for someone who can't finger out what to drink based on his own palate.

And in anticipation of your next question "what manly foods you should I eat?"...any meat cooked rare, every kind of potato and nothing green unless there's a pimiento in it.
posted by SMELLSLIKEFUN at 2:30 PM on January 5, 2007

My first serious boyfriend, on our first date, ordered a Shirley Temple. It was love.

I luv gin & tonics. They're nice and light but do "the job".
posted by loiseau at 2:32 PM on January 5, 2007

In my sodden days, I'd add another vote to the Manhattan.

If its a strong taste that bothers you, order anything that's been mentioned above, get it on the rocks and don't drink it for about five minutes.

Arnold Palmers rule.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:33 PM on January 5, 2007

Miss Lynnster, can we go out drinking? Soon?
posted by theora55 at 2:33 PM on January 5, 2007

I can't stand vodka, tequila, or gin, really, but I can drink all manner of whiskey straight. Try it with ice and water first, then gradually get to straight bourbon.
posted by sid at 2:34 PM on January 5, 2007

A very manly drink is a Canadian staple: rye and ginger-ale, otherwise known as simply a rye and ginger. In most US bars I've been to you have to specify a CC and ginger-ale. If I drank hard liquor, that's what I'd drink.
posted by mikel at 2:35 PM on January 5, 2007

It's easy to say drink what you want, but unfortunately I have a very young-looking face with what I consider to be somewhat feminine features.

Have you considered growing a beard? Nothing says "dude" like a full beard, and it is easy on the liver.
posted by b1tr0t at 2:38 PM on January 5, 2007

50% tequila, 25% orange liqueur, 25% fresh lime juice. Roses lime juice will work fine in a pinch. While it's fruity, women won't touch this thing.

Uh, I take exception to that! My husband was a bartender in his past life and makes an awesome "real" margarita (none of that mix crap). While I don't drink often these days (since I became a mother), I have been known to enjoy his margaritas and so have many of our female friends!

Off the defensive soapbox now.

To the OP, anything ordered by brand name is manly. Be specific. Practice beforehand so it rolls off your tongue like it's "your" drink.
posted by forensicphd at 2:43 PM on January 5, 2007

Does it have to be a mixed drink? Red wine seems manly enough to me and it's better for you than all those pop drinks.
posted by timeistight at 2:50 PM on January 5, 2007

Whiskey, neat.

Need your wits, whiskey and water, lots of rocks.

Pick your style of whiskey; scotch is good, it need not be single malt to enjoy, and single malts are wasted if you are going to water them down.

If you are fixated on sugary drinks, then tequila drinks are a good choice, like margaritas (you don't need a blender you know, they are quite good on the rocks).
posted by caddis at 2:54 PM on January 5, 2007

Also, tequila and tonic is a nice drink, and probably 3.5% more manly than gin and tonic. Tequila carries that subtle whiff of the biker bar.

And if the evening progress to shots, you don't have to mix your drinks.
posted by timeistight at 2:58 PM on January 5, 2007

Have you considered growing a beard? Nothing says "dude" like a full beard, and it is easy on the liver.

My dad could never grow a beard, and I fear that I may have the same issue. It's patchy and thin at best!
posted by ThFullEffect at 2:58 PM on January 5, 2007

A few more suggestions:

1. Rusty Nail. Scotch, drambuie, with a twist. It's a little sweet, a little hardcore, and it's called a freakin' rusty nail. (Advice: the scotch to drambuie ratio changes as the quality of the scotch decreases. If the scotch sucks, increase the amount of drambuie in the drink.)

2. Martinis may be out these days, but no one can fault you for having a super dry Ketel One martini with lots of olives. Olives are manly, and Ketel One tastes like the finest spring water. Make sure the bartender doesn't put in too much vermouth -- it ruins the taste.
posted by brina at 3:25 PM on January 5, 2007

Gin and juice? Do you consider a big pimp like Snoop to be manly? :) But it really is nice - Bombay Sapphire or Tanqueray with fresh orange or pineapple. The mostly-manly boyfriend also enjoys a Jameson's when the mood strikes.
posted by goo at 3:25 PM on January 5, 2007

I can really identify with ThFullEffect (the OP). No particular recipe from me, but note that adding lime juice makes just about anything better; rum and Coke with a little lime doesn't even compare to the original, IMHO.

Here's a great comment from an earlier thread that gives tips on how flavors blend when mixing drinks. In fact, that whole thread is one you might find useful.
posted by SuperNova at 3:30 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

Caesar (vodka, clamato, tobasco)? If that doesn't work maybe a bloody marry?

Alternatively,
Gin + half-tonic/half-7up is really nice.

Finally, not something you can buy at a bar, a nalivka. Blueberries + vodka, blend it up, let it sit, clean out the pulp. Very tasty.
posted by aeighty at 3:38 PM on January 5, 2007

Second the margarita, and if you're in a place that offers them, try a caipirinha (Brazilian firewater + lime juice + sugar): mmm mmm good!

I love single-malts myself, but I suspect the poster already knows he doesn't care for scotch or he wouldn't be asking this.
posted by languagehat at 3:48 PM on January 5, 2007

My favorite drink is a dirty martini, with Grey Goose vodka and three olives. The primary flavors here are vodka and olive juice, so obviously you'd have to like olives. I'm a girl, but my very manly brother drinks them almost exclusively also. It's not tropical, but it is damn tasty.

Rum and coke is also good (Captain and Coke tastes sort of like vanilla Coke to me), so is Jack and Coke - and a lot of the old school drinks like the sidecar and the Harvey Wallbanger are back in vogue now, too. Southern Comfort with lime also seems to be quite popular with the dudes that I know.

Check out The Webtender - their search function is pretty good.

FWIW, I think that high quality liquor is the key to a good drink. If you start there, most of your standard cocktails will be pretty tasty, depending on what you like.
posted by mewithoutyou at 3:52 PM on January 5, 2007

Well I like the beard suggestion, but it seems the poster may not have that option, what with his own description of his visage.

In my book, nothing says "macho (asshole real man)" like a Dirty Butt Whore. Bourbon, Jag, coke, and OJ. It's a home run!
posted by quacky at 3:53 PM on January 5, 2007

So much for that survey about metefites not being big drinkers...

I'll nth the Bacardi & Coke - but make sure you ask if they have Bacardi Gold or Ocho Anos cause they've got the real manly 'kick' to them. If anyone wants to know what you're drinking you can either give them the straight up answer of Bacardi & Coke or you can say your a slave to the "Cuba Libre".
posted by matty at 3:54 PM on January 5, 2007

And after spelling mefites (or metafites) as metefites, I'll go have a drink myself!!
posted by matty at 3:56 PM on January 5, 2007

(Black > White) Russians. Plus - not every bar will have milk.
posted by kickingtheground at 4:11 PM on January 5, 2007

Nothing beats a Dead Nazi.
posted by SBMike at 4:13 PM on January 5, 2007

A related thread.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 4:15 PM on January 5, 2007

1 part absinthe 3 parts icewater or a nice oatmeal stout
posted by Iron Rat at 4:26 PM on January 5, 2007

Seriously. Be a man. That means not conforming to BS stereotypes...
posted by dirtynumbangelboy

Totally agree with this. I don't like a lot of "manly" drinks, so if I want a Pina Colada or some other "frufru" drink, I get it. Who cares.

But to directly answer your question: I like Long Island Iced Tea:
1 part vodka
1 part tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coca-Cola
Mix ingredients together over ice in a glass. Pour into a shaker and give one brisk shake. Pour back into the glass and make sure there is a touch of fizz at the top. Garnish with lemon.

When it's made right, it tastes very good, much sweeter than you would expect, and not "gaggy alcohol" tasting.

I also like some flavored martinis (apple is good) if that's manly enough for you.
posted by The Deej at 4:28 PM on January 5, 2007

I never liked drinking Jack Daniels straight up because it got me drunk too fast and made everyone think I was a lush. I didn't like it on the rocks because at some point the consistency went from too-Jack-tasting to to-watered-down, and there's only about 2 seconds where it's right.

What I did like was a shot of Jack with a shot of water - one poured over the other in the same glass. I've met maybe 1 or 2 bartenders in my entire life that ever got this drink right on first request, no matter how many ways I've tried to order it, so good luck with that.

Most of my friends always thought I was retarded, some still do, and I once questioned myself, until I saw Man on Fire. If badass Denzel drinks it, then its man enough for me.
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:45 PM on January 5, 2007

A pretty "manly" dring is a Boilermaker, but you don't like beer. Too bad, 'cause if you depth charge the first one, you don't taste much afterward.

Not every bar is going to keep fresh eggs around for making Rattlesnakes, but they are good, if you like Pernod. Algonquins are a bit too sweet for me, but every bartender makes 'em. Day in, day out, my drink is a Double Dewar's 'n Soda, on the rocks, with a twist. Or, in summer, the Dry Rob Roy, and in winter the Perfect Rob Roy.
posted by paulsc at 4:47 PM on January 5, 2007

What about an Old Fashioned? It's sweet, but also bourbon-based.
posted by Lycaste at 4:50 PM on January 5, 2007

If you really want to appear "manly," don't order drinks with a lot of ingredients or fruity drinks. However, does anyone really care about this? I certainly have been with people who do, and it seems silly. I guess if business deals etc. are on the line then it might matter. So if you want to be safe, stay with the really simple stuff, liquor, one mixer. Lots of other drinks might qualify as "manly" but the basics are safe if that is your goal.

Cocktails are back in style, even some complicated ones. Do manly men, whatever that might mean, drink these? Most of the old guys I know don't, but it seems common among younger, urban guys. Judge your audience.

If by manly you mean a drink that appeals to men somewhat more than it seems to appeal to women, then you might want to reconsider your disdain for beer. Whiskey is the next thing that comes to mind, and it is just basically beer distilled. I like beer distilled, especially the stuff made in Scotland, with a peaty malt, in small batches, not mixed with other batches, cask strength even - OK now it isn't sounding so manly any more. But a real man, you know cowboy movie style, well he drinks whiskey (who knows what kind) in a dirty glass, no ice, no water, no chaser. Then he shoots some guy for lookin' at him funny. (Then he hangs, but that scene was left on the cutting room floor.)
posted by caddis at 5:00 PM on January 5, 2007

A lot of good suggestions have been made already, all I have left to say is to order your drink on the rocks. Martinis and margaritas are usually served "up" in those silly glasses with the thin stem that forces you to lift a pinky. Ordered on the rocks, they will often be served in a tumbler or rocks glass to wrap your hairy mitt around.

If you would like to be manly enough to drink straight whiskey but not so hardcore to order it neat (no ice), the rocks will melt a bit and mellow it out. Disclaimer: I am female and enjoy straight scotch, there is nothing manly about it except for society's perceptions.

It is not necessary to order mixed drinks like rum and coke on the rocks, they always come that way.
posted by bobobox at 5:00 PM on January 5, 2007

Those rattlesnake things sound disgusting, but I'd also give a shout out for Pernod or any other pastis. But just with water, or water and ice, the way it's supposed to be drunk.

It's one of the few alcoholic drinks that doesn't actually taste alcoholic, yet isn't mixed with gallons of sugary, syrupy, girlstuff.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:05 PM on January 5, 2007

Gin rickey. The details of preparation are crucial though I don't know why. Take a small glass like a juice glass (tall and narrow, though not big) and rub the -peel- part of a lime quarter around in there. Squeeze the hell out of the lime, drop it in. Put two -big- chunks of ice in. Decent gin. As much soda as gin. Stir briefly.

Single malt neat (not straight), water back.
posted by jet_silver at 5:07 PM on January 5, 2007

CUBA LIBRE

/papa
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:28 PM on January 5, 2007

I 2nd the Gin Rickey (or Gin Lime Rickey). Another receipe here:
http://www.barnonedrinks.com/recipes/cocktails/g/ginlimerickey.html
I don't normally drink the hard stuff, but a friend was drinking these one night at the B-Side in Cambridge, MA (great bar), and I tried one and it was really good (and I usually dislike gin).

If you want something in pint glass try hard cider such as Magners/Bulmers (Irish), Cider Jack (NH?), or any of the excellent English Ciders such as Strong Bow. Some are really sweet & dry, some are mildly sweet.

U said U don't like beer, but U should try some of the great Belgium beers that are available. Belgium has over 500 beers, and numerous styles of beer. So don't be put off by one.

Belgium White Beers are really easy to drink; Hoe Garden is a nice mild one to start with. Then there are the Lambics, beer fermented with fruit unlike any beer you've probably ever tried, sweet but not sickly sweet, fruity in a natural way, Lindemans make some great ones. There there are the Trappist beers ... some good North American version are made by Ommegang in Upstate NY, and Unibroue in Quebec. Be warned, some have a really high alcohol content, and some nasty North American versions by bigger breweries.

A nice chocolate stout is always a good alternative, or Guinness with a shot of something sweet like Blackcurrent concentrate if you can't take the bitterness (used to that when I was a young lad drinkin' in Ireland).

So keep trying different beers, and enjoy all those mixed drinks your going to try this weekend! :D
posted by zaphod at 5:36 PM on January 5, 2007

I would third the whiskey sour suggestion. I've been on a bit of a kick for them this holiday season, and I'll be damned if someone's gonna try and convice me that a drink made with whiskey is ANYTHING but manly.

Or, take a page from Bill Murray and Robert Mitchum in "Scrooged" and order a "highball" which is really a rye and ginger (ale that is).
posted by Richat at 5:49 PM on January 5, 2007

this is not helpful, but have you seen the Kids in the Hall sketch "Girl-Drink Drunk." Hilarious.

Anyway, I like vodka and tonic with a fairly good vodka like Absolut, but that's me. it's all a matter of which liquor tastes good to you, and everyone is different.

Or, have you considered becoming a wine snob? Wine is sophisticated yet manly enough, unless you're hanging out with construction workers.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:50 PM on January 5, 2007

The Manhattan was the favored cocktail of J.P. Morgan. It was made with 2 parts rye whisky, 1 part sweet vermouth, and a maraschino cherry.

J.P. Morgan was pretty god-damned manly. You need never bow your head whilst drinking his cocktail, sir; even if you are seated in a leather club chair under the taxidermied head of an elephant shot by Teddy Roosevelt.

Sometimes I like to replace half of the sweet vermouth with dry vermouth. This is known to bartenders worldwide as a "Perfect Manhattan." It is much less manly and so I usually only drink it at home.
posted by ikkyu2 at 5:54 PM on January 5, 2007

I always think it's funny that so many people seem to think of the whole world of libations as consisting of bud (manly) and cosmos (girly).

Darn near any base liquor can be sophisticated, it just depends on what you do with it. I never drink long island ice tea. It strikes me as, well, girly, to drink something strong and boozy that doesn't taste anything like the booze it's made from.

Myself, I'm a gin girl, anyway I can get get it, with a soft spot for small-batch bourbons. I concur with the idea that you should ask for brands you specifically like. What's manlier than educating your palate and knowing what you want?

And I'm with zaphod, the B-Side in Cambridge, MA is a fabulous bar, probably my favorite ever. Dave, a bartender there, is the source of my gin madness.
posted by mostlymartha at 5:54 PM on January 5, 2007

Oh, and my liquor-drinking life was vastly improved once I discovered small batch bourbon. If you ever want a surprise, track down a bottle of Elmer T. Lee. You can drink it neat, 90 proof, and it doesn't burn going down at all; it gets lost under sweet vermouth and so I don't mix with it.

For mixing, I like Maker's, Basil Hayden, and Old Potrero rye. My favorite everyday bourbon is Eagle Rare 10 year; you can pick up a fifth for $19.
posted by ikkyu2 at 5:57 PM on January 5, 2007

Oh For Christ's Sake.
Try "The Dizzy":
1. Handful of Percoset.
2. Chased by Tears.
3. Suction.

Repeat.
posted by Dizzy at 6:05 PM on January 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have to agree with everyone who suggested ordering a specific brand of liquor. It doesn't matter so much what you mix it with if you authoritatively demand a specific kind of gin/rum/whatever.

I am totally impressed when men do this. I CAN'T HELP IT. It seems so knowledgeable and mysterious!
posted by thehmsbeagle at 6:10 PM on January 5, 2007

You need the Negroni. Equal parts gin, Campari and sweet vermouth. It's a little sweet, but the color's not to bright and it's strong enough that nobody dare question your manliness.

You'll probably have to tell the bartenders in your area how to make it, unless you go up to LA to drink.
posted by univac at 6:15 PM on January 5, 2007

have you seen the Kids in the Hall sketch "Girl-Drink Drunk." Hilarious.

Exactly what I was thinking of! "Now get outta here, before you start throwing up...little fruity things!!"
posted by gimonca at 7:29 PM on January 5, 2007

A manhattan is my normal drink of choice when out on the town. I usually demand it 'up' because bartenders who serve it to you in a rocks glass tend to make it a little dirtier than I think should be tolerated in a class establishment.

If I'm feeling a bit more pretentious I ask for an old fashioned. Properly made, an old fashioned should be made with two shots of rye (not bourbon) over rocks with a dash (don't fill the fucking glass) of soda. It must be served in a rocks (or old fashioned) glass, and a single marchino cherry should be lightly muddled into approximately half a teaspoon of white granulated sugar, wetted with two, or perhaps three shakes of Agnostura bitters before adding the rocks and whiskey. I find that having a conversation with the barman about the proper way to make an old fashioned beforehand, allows one to let the rest of the patrons know the length of your cock and curliness of the hairs on your nutsack.

If it's a nice summer day, and I'm out on a patio and want something with a few more vitamins, I find a sidecar usually hits the spot. It helps in ordering this, if you've been to Paris, and can be properly snobby about the way it should be made (demand cointreau, not triple sec and cognac is better than armenac is better than plain brandy). If your barman seems a bit dodgy and can't manage this (often a problem with patio bars) or perhaps it's just the morning after, and you want something juice based, but still manly, I recommend a harvey wallbanger. Ordering a harvey wallbanger pretty much establishes your alpha male credentials in any social context. If anyone gives you any lip about it, just run your hand through your curly mat of chest hair, and give them a bit of a 'fuck you too' sneer.
posted by mock at 7:30 PM on January 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

Have a Manhattan.

The recipe I use is:

2 Ounces rye whiskey
1 Ounce sweet vermouth
bitters to taste
cherry garnish

A Manhattan without bitters is a girly drink.
posted by substrate at 7:39 PM on January 5, 2007

Funny, I was thinking the exact opposite of miss lynnster: Order the drink you really like, and just tell the bartender to hold the umbrella.
posted by bricoleur at 7:44 PM on January 5, 2007

And just to support the correct answers above, find yourself a brand of single-malt scotch that isn't too terrible and likely to be found at most bars (like the Glenlivet or the Balvenie) and latch onto it. Even better, choose some stinky Islay stuff like Laphroaig or Caol Ila and tell people you actually like it. Hell, maybe you do!

Choosing a particular brand of bourbon or rye would likely let you accomplish the same thing without being quite so hard on the pocketbook (which may or may not be a concern).

Whatever you decide on, be prepared to tell a little story about it, and tell it with a nonchalant air of confidence. "This is 18-year-old Abercruddfooey, aged in port barrels, it's what General Haig used to drink. You can taste the sea air." You're drinking a man's drink, you know exactly what you want, and why. Don't be a know-it-all, just use it as an opportunity to display decisiveness, focus and competence.

This argues against almost all cocktails, most of which were designed to hide second-rate hooch, and haven't been manly since the early 50s. I don't care if Hemingway himself drank it--if it's sweety, you don't want it.

In theory, good-quality tequila or even (heaven forbid) something like Jägermeister might even work as a manly drink, if it weren't for the frat-boy connotations involved. I'm assuming you want a genuine manly air, not something you'd chug on spring break.

Depending on the social circle, you might be able to impress people by ordering a Campari on the rocks, with a twist, or even a grappa. In most U.S. situations, unfortunately, you'd just come off as being foreign and affected, which is not what you want.

When it's actually dinnertime, it actually does help to know your way around a wine list, yet another opportunity to exhibit some nonchalant confidence and smoothness. This is only for dinner purposes and with food, though, not for capital-D Drinking. You'll never land that big account while ordering chardonnay.

And remember, you don't have to be manly all the time. Go ahead and kick back with an apple-tini once in a while. When nobody's looking, of course.
posted by gimonca at 8:13 PM on January 5, 2007

Well... it's not HAVING the umbrella that makes my idea so darn manly. It's DEMANDING one. Even for a drink where an umbrella doesn't belong. Hell, even if they don't have umbrellas.

*pounds fist on imaginary bar in mock defiance*
posted by miss lynnster at 8:17 PM on January 5, 2007

"What She's having" is a pretty sexy drink for a man to order, I say. It shouldn't matter who "She" is a single bit.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:28 PM on January 5, 2007

Dickel, neat, ginger ale back.
posted by dirtdirt at 8:35 PM on January 5, 2007

I think Campari's pretty badass because it's so bitter (and unknown) few people drink it. Have a "Bloody Brit" - equal parts Campari and gin.

Martinis are also good ideas, as long as they're REAL martinis. None of this vodka crap. Get it with gin. Better yet, ask for a Churchill martini - pour out the gin into a glass and glare at the vermouth from across the bar.

I will also nth the Manhattan/Rob Roy, but I don't think asking for it "perfect" makes it any less manly.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:41 PM on January 5, 2007

Mentioned previously...
posted by gimonca at 8:42 PM on January 5, 2007

It is important to like what you drink. Screwing up your face while you drink scotch will make you seem like a little boy in his dads billowing suit. And clip on tie.

A greyhound is not grapefruit juice and vodka. It is pretty gender neutral for a fruit centric drink. Amaretto on ice is fairly gender neutral too. Since this is going to be new to you do not get anything with a name that is funny. Don't get anything that was first mixed in the last 40 years.

But really if you don't like the taste of liquor don't try and be a hero. Basically since right now you probably are not going to be able to pull off a legitimately manly drink go for a jack and coke. For the long haul learn to like beer or something in the whiskey family. Or stop caring about it.
posted by I Foody at 8:51 PM on January 5, 2007

Brandy is dandy
Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy." – Samuel Johnson
posted by hortense at 9:13 PM on January 5, 2007

In a loud voice, order a Billy the Kid. When the 'tender asks what the hell a Billy the Kid is, look disgusted, motion him closer, and whisper (as though you're trying to avoid shaming him in public), "You know how to make a Roy Rogers, right? Well, hold the goddamn cherry!" Then, if you can get away with it, slap him lightly.
posted by rob511 at 9:18 PM on January 5, 2007

Order a Tom Collins and tell people it's a Vodka tonic, if they ask.

Just make sure you don't let anyone taste it because then it's game over.
posted by dhammond at 9:38 PM on January 5, 2007

Okay, I know it's not a real answer, but I simply have no choice but to link to Girl Drink Drunk

I'll try to cover my ass by seconding the gin gimlet and the whiskey sour. I'd further suggest a scotch and soda.
posted by nanojath at 10:09 PM on January 5, 2007

Cider's my social drink of choice when I'm not in the mood for beer. There aren't all that many beers I like as much as a good cider anyway. Strongbow and Blackthorn are decent, as is Woodchuck. I like Wyder's a lot.
posted by hades at 10:37 PM on January 5, 2007

The definitive "tastes like a girl drink but doesn't sound like one" drink is a Sidecar.

Nothing with Coke, please. You might as well wear a tutu. Diet Coke: worse.

Stoli and soda is always a good default. (it doesn't have to be Stoli, but be sure to name some decent vodka; well vodka will hurt you.)

A greyhound is not grapefruit juice and vodka.

Hmm, I beg to differ.

Greyhounds are good, but you want to talk about acidity. Never had heartburn before? Wait until about 15 minutes after your third Greyhound.

Martinis are also good ideas, as long as they're REAL martinis. None of this vodka crap. Get it with gin.

Thank you! Vodka martinis are just wrong.

But as for gin, I have to say that Bombay Sapphire, while quite nice if you're into it, has a very strong, specific flavor that might not appeal to the casual drinker. You'll probably find Tanqueray or Gordon's a less obtrusive choice for mixed drinks, and definitely cheaper.
posted by staggernation at 10:45 PM on January 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

I nth the single Islay malt suggestion. Ardbeg is my current favourite: very pale looking, and smells like toxic waste. Laphroaig or Lagavulin will do in a pinch. Order it straight up, with a glass of water on the side. Drop a single drop of oil in the whiskey and watch the volatile oils curls and snake on the surface. do this for your pleasure and no-one else's benefit. If you love the taste (as I do) more power to you.

Other suggestion: when the buzz around the new Bond film has died down a little so you don't come across as a wanker, order a martini. There are a million martini variants out there, one is sure to be right for you.
posted by tim_in_oz at 11:55 PM on January 5, 2007

Manliest drink in the universe is whiskey and kahlua. The basic ingredients in Irish coffee, but they actually taste pretty chocolatey and nicely bitter on their own.

So manly it doesn't even have a name.
posted by Space Coyote at 12:23 AM on January 6, 2007

I drink Irish and water, rocks, highball glass. Redbreast, if they have it, or Jamesons.

Or, if I want a cocktail, a perfect Irish manhattan: Irish whiskey, equal parts sweet & dry vermouth, bitters, maraschino cherry. I'm trying to get people to call it a "Hell's Kitchen".
posted by nicwolff at 12:28 AM on January 6, 2007

First answer: drink whatever the hell you want.

Second answer: The only soft-drinks (sodas for the americans, I think) you can add to a manly drink are tonic and soda water. You could possibly get away with ginger ale. Rum and coke? Please. Fruit juice is pretty sketchy too, outside of lemon juice.

Also, do you just want it to look manly? Get gin and lemonade and say it's a gin and tonic. If you want it to actually be manly you're going to have to learn to like real drinks, because the second you say what you are actually drinking, anyone dumb enough to care is going to know it's a sissy drink.

I'd probably steer clear of anything too complicated and stick to something like scotch and soda. If you don't mind paying for it consider trying all the classic whiskey cocktails and seeing which you like the most ie: Manhattan, Rob Roy, Old Fashioned, Whiskey Sour etc. The tip to get something with ice and let the ice melt to water the flavour is pretty good.

And as much as I love single malt scotch, you are wasting your money buying it at a bar, buy a good bottle and enjoy it at home.
posted by markr at 2:55 AM on January 6, 2007

The classic G&T can't fail. Not nearly enough martini's ordered these days either.
Mojito is a favoured drink around my group of mid-30s friends.
posted by arcticseal at 4:07 AM on January 6, 2007

18+ year old single malt Scotch whisky. You can not go wrong and it'll put hair on your chest. With an umbrella, naturally.

You might also check out my question about sour mixed drink recommendations.
posted by slimepuppy at 4:12 AM on January 6, 2007

Also, if you put ice in your whisky you are both ignorant and girly man. And diluting perfectly good whisky.
posted by slimepuppy at 4:15 AM on January 6, 2007

If you're not into the Manhattan, which is among the finest of cocktails, and you just can't hack the whisky, bourbon, or rye straight up, then I recommend the "presbyterian."

But I prefer this recipe:

1 shot of bourbon
Add bitters to taste
Fill with ginger ale

Adding the club soda is okay, but you don't want too many ingredients, as someone else noted above. This is delicious and refreshing cocktail, and what could be more of a strong and silent type than a presbyterian? A methodist, perhaps?
posted by deejay jaydee at 8:32 AM on January 6, 2007

You should really consider your audience when you drink if you're overly concerned of making an impression. In a meat market pick-up bar, no one is going to give two whits if you have ice in your whiskey. In a whiskey bar, yes. Maybe.

I second the suggestions above to try some beers. But, if you don't have a good selection of micro-brews in your neighborhood then you should probably skip it. I guess Coors is manly but it tastes awful.

Also, if you want a fruity drink, ask for it in an old fashioned glass. Very rarely I get a hankering for a cosmopolitan or a lemon drop and I ask for it in an old fashioned or rocks glass. Those damn martini glasses are tippy!

My favorite drink to sip is two to one vodka with butterscotch schnappes on the rocks. It's sweet but all liquor and clear. I call it Christmas Cheer. I learned this drink from a very manly older friend. My second favorite drink when I have a little extra in my wallet is top shelf tequila on the rocks with a squeeze of lime.

Also, I think it's all in how you order. Order with directness and confidence and drink the same way.
posted by amanda at 8:41 AM on January 6, 2007

Yeah, for reference you can use 100 Bullets Lots of cool motherfuckers doing a lot of drinking in that series.

Examples:

'nother Manhattan, Milo?
Yeah. Make sure it's dry.

Gimme a Cuervo. And some limes.
Then proceed to cut the limes into wedges, using your own pocket knife.

Order some vodka on the rocks and when the bartender asks what vodka, you just say Doesn't matter. Outside of Russia it all tastes the same.

Like amanda says, it's not what you order, it's how you order it.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:08 AM on January 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Old Fashioned.

2 oz burbon
1 sugar cube
3 dashes Bitters (Angostura)
---smash sugar and stir in highball glass

A few Ice cubes
top up with still water or mineral water

Top it with a slice of orange, a slice of lemon and two cherries.

The Perfect Drink.
posted by iurodivii at 9:13 AM on January 6, 2007

bruised strawberry alleycat? it's a girl drink, it tastes like candy.
posted by snofoam at 9:15 AM on January 6, 2007

If you have any interest in taking the gin-and-lemonade advice, note that British "lemonade" is a clear fizzy drink not found in the US -- it's closest to Sprite or 7-Up, but without lime flavor.
posted by redfoxtail at 9:19 AM on January 6, 2007

nth the drink whatever the hell you want. But failing that straight Scotch Whisky or Irish Whiskey is the way to go. Ice at a stretch (although true Scots will tell you never to trust a man who puts ice in his whisky). Might be a cross-Atlantic cultural thing, but JD or Jim Bean (or any other sweet-tasting American whisky/bourbon) aren't considered particularly 'manly' over here. And Southern Comfort is very much a drink for the ladies.

You might want to give Whisky Mac a try. Made with Scotch and Stones Ginger Wine in a 3:2 ratio. No ice. Looks just like a large Scotch but the ginger wine mellows the taste if you're not fond of drinking the hard stuff straight.
posted by boosh at 10:50 AM on January 6, 2007

Personally, I likes my drinks like I likes my women: Cheap, sweet, and easy going down. My preferred libation is a 50/50 mix of Mountain Dew and Sour Apple Pucker, I believe it's called a Photon, but don't quote me on that. If you can't feel manly carrying around a sweet mix like that, well, I can't help ya. It's like a guy in a pink shirt: He's either gay and proud of it, or he's a freakin' badass. Are you willing to take the risk?
posted by TrueVox at 11:07 AM on January 6, 2007

I disagree with all the people telling you to ask for liquor by name, drink 18 year old single malts and all other sorts of effete snobbery. That's just not manly. If you really like those drinks then fine, but to order them just to impress is nothing but pure affectation, and that ain't manly. It's like trying to impress somebody with how rich you are. meh.
posted by caddis at 11:16 AM on January 6, 2007

dhammond writes 'Order a Tom Collins and tell people it's a Vodka tonic, if they ask.'

Or just tell them it's a Tom Collins! Sounds manly, tastes like lemonade.

Seconding or thirding the suggestions of a Gimlet or Whiskey Sour.

On the beer front, have you ever tried India Pale Ales? You might like a creamy one like Deuchars. Also, Liefman's frambozenbier is considered quite a blokey drink, despite the fact it's raspberry flavoured, and I know a lot of people who don't like lager or bitter, but are happy to drink wheat beers - they tend to have a slight banana-ish or floral flavour. Erdinger is the most widely available over here, but I believe US breweries have started producing them as summer specials.

Some negative advice: for the love of God, don't listen to people suggesting single malt whisky with ice - whether or not it's manly, it will make you look like someone who's never drunk whisky before. Also, Malibu and coke is the ne plus ultra of girly drinks. You might as well be wearing bunny ears.
posted by jack_mo at 1:41 PM on January 6, 2007

Instead of thinking "manly," how about thinking "sophisticated?" And there, yes, I think ordering by brand name is a plus.

My personal drink of choice is "vanilla Stoli, rocks, please." It's got a light sweetness that's less "girly" than, say, raspberry vodka, and most people won't think of it as a sweet drink.

Besides, a glass of straight liquor should look "manly" enough. And if it's too strong, you can wait a while for the ice to melt and dilute it, and since it's vodka, no one will know when it becomes half water. :-)

I've tried a number of vanilla vodkas, btw, and I really do prefer the Stoli.
posted by citysquirrel at 11:03 PM on January 6, 2007

Any drink with sugar or fruit in it is a child's drink.

I think you're going to have to learn to drink beer. Try a microbrew like Sierra Nevada, which has a hell of a lot more panache than a Coors Light.
posted by IvyMike at 1:43 PM on January 7, 2007

i read salinger's "raise high the roofbeams, carpenters" last month and have since been obsessed with the TOM COLLINS.
2 parts gin (or ask for a "vodka tom collins")
1 part lemon juice, lime juice, or bar sour
superfine sugar
club soda
tastes like manly yummy tangy lemonade. delicious. if you feel the need to justify the choice among a literate peanut gallery, read the salinger book first and drop the reference.

there are a few drinks that suit certain establishments and are also worth trying in those situaions-- the context should justify their slight lack of manliness. ie,
in a cuban place, definitely get a mojito (mint, lime, rum, yum.)
in a new orleans-type bar, get a bourbon sour (bourbon, lime. yum.)
clearly i like my drinks lemony, sweet, and a little bitter.
posted by twistofrhyme at 2:07 PM on January 7, 2007

twistofrhyme: You need to try the caipirinha (Wikipedia)—it's the best citrus drink ever. (Warning: after two, you will feel great and will want to keep downing caipirinhas. Try to resist this impulse, at least until the first two have worn off a little. They're deceptively smooth, but they pack a wallop.)
posted by languagehat at 2:18 PM on January 7, 2007