What do I do about my stalker?
December 30, 2006 6:15 PM Subscribe
I have a stalker. This young woman is 26 and we were friends at work, and became friends outside of work. I don't know what to do next... will the police help me? There is no threat of physical harm... just the mental stress from her not leaving me alone.
posted by anonymous to Grab Bag (29 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
She became overly clingy a couple of years ago and when I told her I wanted some space, she started calling me daily and e-mailing me several times a day. Even though I asked her to leave me alone, she kept on, and it grew and grew until I couldn't take it anymore and finally had to threaten to call the police. Then her husband e-mailed me, and said what the hell was wrong with me that I would threaten to put his wife in jail, and couldn't we just work it out and be friends. I explained to him in e-mail that I needed some space. Finally, it let up. I banned her from my web forum (that I own), and she re-registered with her husband's e-mail address and a new username. I finally banned her by IP. This was spring 2005.
In spring 2006, a year later, I moved my forums from Ikonboard over to phpBB, and didn't transfer the ban list. Shortly thereafter she registered with yet another username and I never noticed until I was informed about a week ago. She was dumb enough to e-mail a moderator to ask about a technical issue, who remembered her e-mail address from before. My moderator contacted me, and I banned the person by e-mail and IP. She e-mailed my moderator to ask why, and the mod told her that I said she wasn't welcome there. She replied to ask if she'd done something wrong.
I am really tired of her still wanting to hang around when I so clearly do not want to be her friend, so I just e-mailed her and laid it down, saying there is no chance of us ever being friends again, and that if I ever catch her on the boards again (these are boards I own on a domain I own and I pay for the hosting) or if she ever contacts me again, or sends me another Mary Kay catalog, I'm calling the police.
One problem is shortly before the whole spring 2005 mess, she moved away from my town. I now only have her maiden and married name, her husband's name, their kids' names, an e-mail address, and an IP. (I do know roughly what city she moved to - either the city itself or a nearby suburb.) Will the police get their address from the IP if I report her? Will the police even talk to her for me? My mom contends that since my boards are technically public, she may not be committing a crime by visiting them, even though I've made it clear that she's not welcome there and banned her several times. I also don't necessarily have the previous e-mails from 2005; my hard drive was dying and I got a new one. I can pop the old drive back in and see what Google Desktop (which was already installed on the old hard drive) can find, but no guarantees.
I feel sick about this whole thing, I hate being mean but this girl is just too dense... she just will not leave me alone. Will the police help me?