I keep my friends "separate" from each other. "Group" things make me nervous. So...how to introduce my new boyfriend?
December 3, 2006 8:00 AM Subscribe
I keep my friends "separate" from each other.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (10 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I have this really weird thing where I get very nervous when I introduce my friends to each other. Basically I always worry that they won't like each other, or that one will judge me on the company I keep (obviously I like all of my friends, but some are troubled souls...for example, one is a serious alcoholic), or that one of my friends will make me look bad to the other person, intentionally or not. I believe that most of these worries are unfounded, but basically I am someone who has trouble relaxing and just "letting things happen," and this is one of those examples. I also just feel more comfortable interacting one-on-one than in a group.
Furthermore, due to a prior history of depression, I went through a period where I really had very few friends and unfortunately lost some of the ones I did have. Consequently, I don't have the "tribe" of friends one might expect for someone who has been living in the same city as long as I have. Although I've mostly overcome these past difficulties, I'm terribly sensitive about not having enough good friends and appearing unpopular. (I should add that I am a natural introvert, and the issue is more that I feel that I "should" have more friends than "wanting" to have more.)
Enter my new boyfriend. How do I introduce him to my friends, who I like and hang out with occasionally but am not terribly close with, without getting really stressed out about the whole situation and worrying that he won't like my friends, they won't like him, that he is wondering why I don't have closer friends, etc.?
Addendum: I briefly dated a number of the guys in my circle at a time when I wasn't being particularly "picky"...I don't think I'd need to tell the BF since they were not serious relationships, but this certainly adds to my nervousness about introductions and what may or may not reveal itself at a later date...especially if alcohol is involved. I am serious about this guy and don't want him to judge me on a past that is totally in the past!