SubscribeRobert Park, a University of Maryland physics professor and officer of the American Physical Society, worries that helium will one day be scarce at a time when mankind really needs it.'One day'?! Mr. Park, who do you think you're kidding? The crisis is upon us. Three of my dirigibles are already grounded, and it grows increasingly difficult to keep precious documents out of the hands of the RAND corporation. If they should acquire what they think is solid proof of the Freemason/Sasquatch connection, I dare say the consequences would be nothing short of apocalyptic—not only for Morocco, which I'm certain you have already imagined, but for all of us! Consider what you read in the last New York Times crossword, consider the implications! and I feel you must agree....
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The second-most abundant element in the universe is suddenly getting harder and harder to find. Party stores and florist shops grounded in the balloon business are caught in a helium shortage gripping suppliers across the country and in Texas, where one-third of the world’s helium production is overseen.
Supply of the noble gas — second only to hydrogen in the universe but rare on Earth in terms of quantity — has depleted while production from two large international sites is temporarily down.
Not helping matters is scheduled maintenance at the U.S. Bureau of Land Management’s National Helium Reserve complex in Amarillo, which will curtail production for 10 days starting Wednesday.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:38 PM on November 23, 2006