Help with buying a potential family heirloom

November 20, 2006 3:54 PM

As strange as it sounds, I need help picking out a gift for myself from my dead brother.

My 19 year old brother passed away 2 years ago, and my father informed me there's one last bank account in his name with $600 in it. He'd like me to pick something out for myself that would be a gift from my brother... something that would potentially become a future family heirloom and something I would use/wear all the time.

I was thinking at first to get a nice watch (I will probably not wear a chain or ring, or most other jewelery). Any other suggestions?

posted by Ekim Neems to Grab Bag (16 answers total)

Instead of a watch which you may or may not be wearing 10 years from now (I don't wear them anymore now that I carry a cell phone everywhere), what about a nice clock or mirror that you could hang in your entryway/living room. Something more elegant than you would buy for yourself that the whole family might notice when they visit you.
posted by dness2 at 4:11 PM on November 20, 2006

Maybe a piece of art?

Also, something that would remind you of your brother's hobbies or interests could be nice.
posted by nomis at 4:11 PM on November 20, 2006

A beautiful leather chair, good for reading in - something you'll use every day and think about your brother every time.
posted by hazelshade at 4:40 PM on November 20, 2006 [1 favorite]

Something for the very long-term. Even something that you may pass on to a child of yours. Good luck in selecting someting meaningful. It will be a great remembrance of your brother.
posted by JayRwv at 4:43 PM on November 20, 2006

I think I would have get something that he would have bought for himself and then left to you, if he had known.
posted by empath at 4:43 PM on November 20, 2006

Seed money for long-term investments?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:55 PM on November 20, 2006

Well is there an interest that you or your whole family shared with your brother?
posted by cmfletcher at 5:00 PM on November 20, 2006

Ship's clocks are about the right price range and are lovely, permanent household things.

An original Japanese print from the early 20th century, on some suitable theme? (I saw your website in your profile) Here are a few, you can find tons more by searching online for ukiyo-e and shin hanga: village with boats, people caught in the rain running for shelter, two mallards flying, monkey on a branch
posted by LobsterMitten at 5:06 PM on November 20, 2006

Response by poster: Those clocks are great! I've considered a piece of art... my brother was very much into nature. Unfortunately, I'm not up on my art and thus wouldn't even know where to start to find an original painting that I like that might be relevant.

The good thing about the watch is that it's easily passable between family members.
posted by Ekim Neems at 5:10 PM on November 20, 2006

No offense, but I don't think $600 will get you very far with Japanese paintings or prints worth handing down as an heirloom.

I think if you want to get a watch, you should get one, if it feels right to you.

I know it's been two years, but my condolences for your loss. I feel so sad that your brother passed away so young. It must be tough trying to make the "right" decision about something like this.
posted by misozaki at 5:42 PM on November 20, 2006

The nice thing about the shin hanga prints is that they're very accessible (a style that feels in between western illustration art of the early 1900s, earlier Japanese ukiyo-e, and more modern styles like manga). The prints I linked are all around $600. They're mostly small, 13" x 7" for example. If you like the idea of art, especially nature scenes, Japanese prints might be a good way to go.

Here is a gallery with many more thumbnails (and click on the next galleries, linked at the bottom of the page). [NSFW note: there are some nudes toward the bottom of the gallery I linked.] Check these thumbnails out and see if there's a particular artist whose style you like. Once you have an artist's name, you can see about finding a print with a theme you like in your price range. Don't worry too much about whether it will appreciate in value -- worry about finding one that you love, that you'll be glad to have in your house in 20 years, and that your kids will grow up loving too.

Prints are often less expensive than paintings (for obvious reasons: they make more than one of them!). I can try to help if you want to think about art.

If you live in a medium or large city, there will be galleries of local artists; you could take a walk some Saturday and check out some of the stuff in person. See what grabs you. If you can't afford one that you love, ask the gallery owner for information about it -- what's this style called? are there artists who paint in a similar style whose work I could afford? does this artist have any smaller pieces?

Ship's clocks are lovely; they chime regularly so be ready for that. I meant to mention that before. (You can probably get similar-looking ones that don't chime.) A lot of ship's clocks come in matched sets with barometers.

You could also look into one of these whimsical art clocks; not classic but might fit your or your brother's sensibility.

I think the idea of a watch is also good, but I don't know much about good men's watches so didn't offer any advice.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:40 PM on November 20, 2006

a picture of you and your brother (or your family) could be turned into a painted-on-canvas heirloom.
posted by Izzmeister at 6:47 PM on November 20, 2006

A good watch with both your name and your brother’s name engraved on it would be a great choice. Very few things carry on for generations. Jewelry can, but for men, not so much and tastes change. Watches really are eternal, especially one with a self-winding movement that will not be tied to the technology of today's batteries. Something in Silver or some other heirloom quality material might also be nice, and could also be engraved, such as a bowl, a platter or a pitcher. Something smaller but of higher quality metal would make the best heirloom. Of course, one question to consider is what did your brother like?

(God bless you and your brother. This question invoked very strong emotions in me. Losing a sibling at that age is incredibly tough. Please accept my condolences.)
posted by caddis at 7:16 PM on November 20, 2006

Was there some charity or cause that your brother liked? Maybe donating the money would have a more lasting effect than investing in some trinket.
posted by wfrgms at 8:07 PM on November 20, 2006

This place is a custom book bindery. I got their name just from clicking links here.

I'm sure they (or someone similar in your area) could make a very beautiful custom blank book, perhaps based on some input directly from you.

Then you, and the rest of your family could pass the book around, adding photos, memories, letters or paper ephemera from your brother, thoughts etc.

I just lost an old friend recently, and it has been very comforting for me just to dig through the few old papers, photos, and letters I have from them. Along with sadness, I have gotten a lot of laughs from their vibrant and joyful spirit that comes through in the papers I have.

The book I'm envisioning might provide similar comfort for your family, and be a great way your children or others who come into your family's life learn about someone you all love, and it is something simple and relatively small that might be easily passed around.
posted by extrabox at 8:43 PM on November 20, 2006

I would think long and hard about something that your brother wanted prior to passing away, that also isn't something that is easily obsoleted. Perhaps he wanted a real nice watch (in which case it would be very convenient), or wanted do go someplace/do something that would require the heirloom. The idea is to complete the incomplete goal/desire of your deceased brother in his honor, and obtain something that had he completed it personally, would have passed it to on to you after he died.

So for example, if he wanted to go on some fantastic hunting trip, buy a rifle, do the trip, and pass on the rifle you used in his honor. Or something along those lines.

Unfortunately I don't know your brother, so I can't recommand anything specifically.
posted by MasD at 10:38 PM on November 20, 2006