Enough with the squeeking and please don't poop in my nooks and crannies.

November 12, 2006 5:48 AM

There is a small squirrel trapped in my apartment. Does anyone have any advice to help me get it out the door?

I would love to wrap it up in a blanket, snuggle it and tell it everything will be ok, and to STOP RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE CURTAINS AND SQUEEKING AND GETTING STUCK IN THE RADIATOR AND--I'm sorry, it's Sunday morning and my beauty sleep has been interrupted.

What do I do?
My cats can't catch it, and I sure as hell can't either.

Can I assume that, since I didn't let it in, it will find it's way back out through whatever hole it got through in the first place?

And also, is it pooping in all the nooks and crannies I won't be able to get to to clean?

posted by bobobox to Pets & Animals (15 answers total)

Call your local animal control officer.
posted by Carol Anne at 6:04 AM on November 12, 2006

Open a window. Get a broom. Channel the squirrel into the room with the open window... preferably a small one. Gently encourage it with the broom towards the window. It will eventually get the idea and go out it. (Choose an appropriate window, of course!) IF you have a rrom with no bed, piano, refrigerator, etc. for them to get under/behind, it's best. I'd go for the bathroom.

Squirrel hockey is fun. You have to help the little guy go out... just be gentle and persistent. 15 minutes, tops. I've done it score of times. Good luck.
posted by FauxScot at 6:06 AM on November 12, 2006

Best answer: Oh... and put the cat somewhere else while you do this. You can't steer the squirrel if he's running from you AND the cat.

Did I mention... please be gentle!?
posted by FauxScot at 6:08 AM on November 12, 2006

If you have a door to the outside, just channel him to it. Otherwise some boxes or something to help him to a window (one with a non-fatal fall after it). Believe me, the little dude is in terror right now and wants nothing more than to get the hell out of your apartment: I once had a squirrel in my family's screened porch that was so desperate to get out that before I could even open the door for it, it ran straight at the screened window, *burst* straight through it and fell down a story through the air before hitting the ground with a flop. Took off running like a shot immediately after, too.
posted by Ryvar at 6:22 AM on November 12, 2006

And yeah, please be gentle.
posted by Ryvar at 6:24 AM on November 12, 2006

Response by poster: Separating the cats from the equation really did the trick. Everybody calmed down, I opened a door and some windows, and let the call of the wild do its thing.

Thanks for the advice.
posted by bobobox at 7:16 AM on November 12, 2006

Remember ET? Put a trail of nuts leading to the door.

It might work.
posted by popcassady at 7:30 AM on November 12, 2006

Oh, I see it's gone already!
posted by popcassady at 7:30 AM on November 12, 2006

Remember ET? Put a trail of nuts leading to the door.

Those were Reece's Pieces.
posted by bingo at 8:02 AM on November 12, 2006

Those were Reece's Pieces.

Well, yes, but I think popcassady is operating on the assumption that squirrels will prefer nuts to Reese's Pieces.

Question answered, in any case!
posted by mykescipark at 8:40 AM on November 12, 2006

Response by poster: I myself answer to the call of Reese's Pieces.
posted by bobobox at 9:02 AM on November 12, 2006

"Where's Eddie? He usually eats these goddamned things..."
posted by Robot Johnny at 9:11 AM on November 12, 2006

Here's something to inspire you: Squirrel Cop.
posted by ottereroticist at 9:21 AM on November 12, 2006

Otter beat me to it!
posted by rossination at 11:56 AM on November 12, 2006

I have little idea whether this works on squirrels, but it has worked on many little birds: cover all closed windows and shut the lights. Make sure the biggest light source is from where the creature can get out. Try making some noise to encourage it to go to the exit.
posted by Anything at 2:25 PM on November 12, 2006