help me get a fair shake.

September 28, 2006 6:11 AM

I am leaving my fiancee, we bought a house together a year and a half ago. What kind of property rights do I have?

So I finally did it, it was a long time coming and I should have done it before there was so much involved.

We live in Atlanta. We have 1 big old house, two big home equity loans (that have financed our vehicles) and the deed to my truck jointly owned.

We had a written agreement, that he took the equity in the house plus all obligations for the home equity loans and the income from the rental unit and I got my truck free and clear. Then we went into all the details of books and cats and whatnot.

However, he destroyed it "cause no one is going anywhere" threw the dining room table and various smaller items, called me everyname in the book, got in my face, whatever. (BTW, I have two jobs so when I was away on buisness or tending the bar he was having all manner of person over from the casual connections or whatever section of lavalife)

So what are my options? I need to get my name off the house soon because I envision one long drinking binge on his part till he loses his job and probably the house.

posted by stormygrey to law & government (16 comments total)

Lawyer up. He seems on a very bad path.
posted by Gungho at 6:22 AM on September 28, 2006

This is seriously the right time to hire a lawyer ASAP.
posted by JJ86 at 6:22 AM on September 28, 2006

More specifically you cannot do this without a real estate attorney. Three joint loans will require some very specific paperwork. Ideally your Fiancee should refi and combine all three loans in his name only.
posted by Gungho at 6:24 AM on September 28, 2006

Oh boy. Considering the amount of value involved here, I think you should consult a lawyer. It will save you money.

So if I am to understand this right, he destroyed the only copy of your written agreement? It wasn't prepared on a computer where there is a copy somewhere? Do you have any other evidence that it existed? That's not great, but still if someone destroys evidence, the courts will assume that they did so because the evidence was adverse to their case.

Repeat: see a lawyer.
posted by grouse at 6:25 AM on September 28, 2006

this is 100% a "consult an attorney" question. i would say you're better off with a family/domestic relations attorney than a real estate lawyer. even if you don't think you can afford one, call one. the atlanta or the state bar of georgia can give you referrals. atlanta legal aid (website wasn't working for me) will also listen to your tale and direct you to the right resources. the clerk of the domestic relations court might as well, if you call when the office isn't busy.

local law schools also frequently have legal aid clinics, which often focus on domestic work. if they cannot help you, they, too, will have advice about where to go instead.
posted by crush-onastick at 7:55 AM on September 28, 2006

oops:

the atlanta bar association or the state bar of georgia

(two links for the atlanta bar association--one wasn't working for me)
posted by crush-onastick at 7:57 AM on September 28, 2006

I'm reading this while in class during my first year of law school. Looks like there will still be work when I get out.

Agreed. You need a lawyer in a bad way.
posted by craven_morhead at 7:59 AM on September 28, 2006

Lawyer up.

Did he throw the dining room table at you? Wow. When you meet from now on, have somebody else present, so he isn't getting in your face. A lawyer is perfect for that (a male friend may not be, if he is jealous). You don't have to put up with that.
posted by joannemerriam at 8:31 AM on September 28, 2006

So law people, what kind of lawyer do I need? There are probably more and more nontraditional (not officially married) couples in these situations.
posted by stormygrey at 8:44 AM on September 28, 2006

A divorce attorney would probably be a good choice. Aside from the fact that you don't need to actually file divorce papers, your situation is exactly the same as a divorce. I'm going through a divorce that sounds similar to your situation.
posted by Spoonman at 9:10 AM on September 28, 2006

Guess what, you do need a lawyer--you might also consider one who specializes in commercial law. I believe, regardless of any agreement between the two of you what is more a more important issue is who are the signatories to the home equity loans, any mortgage and the auto financing. Your agreements can not supercede those contracts unless they are a party to your agreement. Wishing you the best
posted by rmhsinc at 9:58 AM on September 28, 2006

In order to be common-law married in Georgia, you had to have "established" such arrangement prior to January 1, 1997, unless you began co-habitating, sharing finances, and/or representing yourself to be married in a state that allows common law marriage, in which case Georgia has to give full faith and credit to that arrangement. I'm guessing that you won't qualify for a common-law marriage, and I am therefore also guessing that the cheating on you thing isn't going to matter to the court as it might in a divorce. I would also guess that this will shake out to be more of a dissolution of business than a divorce.

As you've been told, you need to lawyer up. The agreement you had previously would have been good to have, but since you don't . . . well. Be aware that whomever is left with the house will have to obtain financing to re-fi the house in his/her name only, or if it is sold, you will probably split the profits and/or costs 50/50. if you received benefit from the loans, you may remain liable for part of those loans. If you know someone who knows an attorney of any stripe whatsoever, s/he may be able to direct you to a reputable attorney that is qualified to handle your case. Personal recommendations are nearly always better than the phone book.
posted by Medieval Maven at 10:02 AM on September 28, 2006

I would recommend a family law lawyer over a commercial law lawyer. You may want to go to a mid-size firm that has commercial law lawyers to deal with the real estate matters.
posted by greedo at 10:24 AM on September 28, 2006

Yes, definitely a family law attorney. The real estate issues here are not terribly complicated, from the sounds of it. However, the most important thing right now is your safety, so make sure you have somewhere to stay for the time-being.
posted by MrZero at 12:05 PM on September 28, 2006

Since no one has clearly said this yet (although some have implied it), I just want to say I'm very happy for you and impressed that you're facing up to and leaving this person. I've seen very similar situations and they really can escalate fast into more angry and violent behavior. So I want to strongly underline the other poster's advice to bring a third party from now on to any meetings you have with this man. Stay safe, feel rightfully proud... and if you like, let us know what happens.
posted by lorimer at 10:31 PM on September 28, 2006 [1 favorite]

I just spoke with my organization's attorney who used to practice in Atlanta--I trust him completely--he has been president of the local Bar Association Discipline and Grievance and his firm tends to be the lawyers for other lawyers. He has not been in Atlanta for 8-9 years but did give me the name of two persons he trusts who could either represent you or make an appropriate referral. If you would like this informatiion please feel free to email me at rmhsinc at clara dot co dot uk. BTW, In spite of what I thought he recommended a family law specialist with some experience in commercial. Hope you can get unentagled in the best way for you

If you want it posted here I would also be glad to that
posted by rmhsinc at 8:39 AM on September 29, 2006