Fountains of precum
August 29, 2006 3:10 PM
Whenever I'm with a sexual partner I start producing copious amounts of precum from even the mildest form of stimulation (kissing for example).
When I'm watching some porn or otherwise without-partner I'm as dry as a bone until I'm really turned on...
One girl even thought I had cum already before she even touched me. It dripps on the bed, on me, and on my partner when we're naked, and generally gets messy and in the way. More worringly it fills up condoms to the point where they almost slide off if im not careful.
When I'm satisfying myself it takes a while for any to appear. But with a girl its like flood gates instantly open.
Why is there such a difference between with partner and without? And how could I go about stopping this happening?
(p.s i felt like throwing matt another 5 bucks to be able to ask and reply anon)
One girl even thought I had cum already before she even touched me. It dripps on the bed, on me, and on my partner when we're naked, and generally gets messy and in the way. More worringly it fills up condoms to the point where they almost slide off if im not careful.
When I'm satisfying myself it takes a while for any to appear. But with a girl its like flood gates instantly open.
Why is there such a difference between with partner and without? And how could I go about stopping this happening?
(p.s i felt like throwing matt another 5 bucks to be able to ask and reply anon)
They say that arousal is mostly in the mind -- odds are, you're just more aroused by being with someone, even just kissing or mild stimulation, than by watching porn or self-gratifying. That's the why...
As far as "how to stop this" SeizeTheDay probably has the right idea.
posted by jzb at 3:42 PM on August 29, 2006
As far as "how to stop this" SeizeTheDay probably has the right idea.
posted by jzb at 3:42 PM on August 29, 2006
Yeah, you're probably producing more precum with a partner than you would by yourself because you're more turned on; simple as that. I mean, you've got a real, bona fide girl instead of an imaginary one! That seems, to me, a no brainer.
As for a solution, you could either take matters into your own hands, as SeizeTheDay suggests... or just decide not to worry about it. Sex is messy; that's part of the fun. I had a partner at one time who produced an incredible amount of precum, and although I'm sure it wasn't exactly personal (if you see what I mean) I was flattered. It's a turn on to see the evidence of your partner's arousal, after all.
posted by hot soup girl at 4:45 PM on August 29, 2006
As for a solution, you could either take matters into your own hands, as SeizeTheDay suggests... or just decide not to worry about it. Sex is messy; that's part of the fun. I had a partner at one time who produced an incredible amount of precum, and although I'm sure it wasn't exactly personal (if you see what I mean) I was flattered. It's a turn on to see the evidence of your partner's arousal, after all.
posted by hot soup girl at 4:45 PM on August 29, 2006
I just wanted to throw in that a woman arouses you more visually, olfactorily, auditorily, gustatorily, tactilly, and thermally than just your plain hand. So it varies with your particular stimulation. The more senses you engage, the more aroused you can be.
I would totally agree with hot soup girl in that it's part of the fun to get messy in sex, but our poster has got a concern about condoms slipping off due to lots of lubrication. I vaguely remember reading something online that control of copious amounts of precum can be controlled by strengthening the muscles that kegels target. So... kegels, kegels, kegels. Might not work, but most likely wouldn't cause you harm.
posted by Mister Cheese at 4:58 PM on August 29, 2006
I would totally agree with hot soup girl in that it's part of the fun to get messy in sex, but our poster has got a concern about condoms slipping off due to lots of lubrication. I vaguely remember reading something online that control of copious amounts of precum can be controlled by strengthening the muscles that kegels target. So... kegels, kegels, kegels. Might not work, but most likely wouldn't cause you harm.
posted by Mister Cheese at 4:58 PM on August 29, 2006
I did some googling and such, and it seems there's not good way to reduce the amount of precum. Wearing baggier clothes or thicker, more absorbent ones was often suggested, but that of course won't help with a condom staying on. Have you tried non-lubricated ones? That might help a bit. Make sure you buy some lube to put only on the outside though. Also, they're handy to have in case you're with someone who is allergic to spermicide.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 10:15 PM on August 29, 2006
posted by gauchodaspampas at 10:15 PM on August 29, 2006
This is going to sound completely ridiculous and it probably is, but...
I was thinking along the same lines as Mister Cheese (...a woman arouses you more visually, olfactorily, auditorily, gustatorily, tactilly, and thermally than just your plain hand), and it occurred to me... what if you plugged up your nose so that you couldn't smell? Of course, the other factors would still be there - temperature, visual stimuli, etc. - but scent (in my own, possibly non-generalizable experience) tends to provoke the strongest reactions.
If it were me, I think I'd be curious enough to try it one time.
posted by Clay201 at 10:36 PM on August 29, 2006
I was thinking along the same lines as Mister Cheese (...a woman arouses you more visually, olfactorily, auditorily, gustatorily, tactilly, and thermally than just your plain hand), and it occurred to me... what if you plugged up your nose so that you couldn't smell? Of course, the other factors would still be there - temperature, visual stimuli, etc. - but scent (in my own, possibly non-generalizable experience) tends to provoke the strongest reactions.
If it were me, I think I'd be curious enough to try it one time.
posted by Clay201 at 10:36 PM on August 29, 2006
I doubt nose plugging would work, but it would make kissing interesting :)
I don't think there's much you can do about this in my experience, just explain that it only happens when you're REALLY turned on, and hope your partner doesn't have an `EWWW, IT'S ALL SLIMY' reaction.
Sigh.
posted by tomble at 11:42 PM on August 29, 2006
I don't think there's much you can do about this in my experience, just explain that it only happens when you're REALLY turned on, and hope your partner doesn't have an `EWWW, IT'S ALL SLIMY' reaction.
Sigh.
posted by tomble at 11:42 PM on August 29, 2006
Your precum sounds quite unusual. I've never heard of someone producing so much. I assume that it's all the clear, slightly sticky stuff rather than a full blown "load", as it were. Do you ejaculate with similar volume? You may want to run it by your doctor just to be certain that all is well. Hopefully you've just got a unique biology that isn't cause for alarm. Indeed, you might be able to succeed the great Peter North . . .
As for the why, I'd say it has less to do with the pheromones and more with your basic mindset. As jzb suggests, it's all in the mind. I made a similar comment in a previous, somewhat related, thread.
When it comes to condoms, try something with extra room at the top. The Pleasure Plus and Dual Pleasure are designed with huge reservoirs. They're meant to provide extra friction, but I don't see why they wouldn't hold up to your prodigious output. You'll just have to put the condom on at the outset of sex rather just prior to insertion.
posted by aladfar at 11:46 PM on August 29, 2006
As for the why, I'd say it has less to do with the pheromones and more with your basic mindset. As jzb suggests, it's all in the mind. I made a similar comment in a previous, somewhat related, thread.
When it comes to condoms, try something with extra room at the top. The Pleasure Plus and Dual Pleasure are designed with huge reservoirs. They're meant to provide extra friction, but I don't see why they wouldn't hold up to your prodigious output. You'll just have to put the condom on at the outset of sex rather just prior to insertion.
posted by aladfar at 11:46 PM on August 29, 2006
Not only am I not a doctor, I'm not even a particularly well informed amateur, but based on my own experiences I suggest that you look into some mineral supplementation. Read up about the functions of magnesium and zinc and make your own mind up. You won't do yourself any harm with sensible amounts and you may find that the problem is much improved.
posted by teleskiving at 1:33 AM on August 30, 2006
posted by teleskiving at 1:33 AM on August 30, 2006
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posted by SeizeTheDay at 3:26 PM on August 29, 2006