boat, landing
September 21, 2024 8:25 AM

wondering about responsibilities of owning property ❄️-

in my current rental i am unable to host people for an extended period of time. there is a person who has arrived into my life who needs a place to stay. i have largely avoided big questions around ownership of property (see native land, etc.) until now. to help this person, & possibly find more stability myself, I am considering a major purchase.

what if something happens? i do not know the person whom I am considering sharing this property with particularly well (please do not ask me why i’m thinking of doing this, i hardly know myself). talking over the idea, i have been told that i could be seen as a landlord (if i purchase land) or boat owner. is that so (i am not planning on charging rent)? are there other sorts of responsibilities at that scale to think about? this would be in Maine/Wabanaki (Dawnland Confederacy) territory, if that helps. even though i do not own any yet, my renters insurance includes coverage for unimproved land.

i welcome any advice or thoughts; a comment about boats in an earlier thread was very helpful
posted by HearHere to Home & Garden (21 answers total)
At its most basic form, the question is, when the relationship breaks down, and it will (you must plan that way at least), and you want the "tenant" to leave, and they don't want to leave, what final recourse do you want to have? Because at the end of everything when you say "get out" and they say "no," there's only physical force, e.g. cops, to remove someone. If you're not comfortable thinking about this, then you're not ready to host someone and definitely not ready to be a landlord.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:01 AM on September 21


Assuming you’re not buying a boat and the boat comment was helpful as an allegory about the responsibilities of ownership, I think you need to slow way down.

You’re taking about boats and unimproved land, but it sounds like you’re actually asking about buying a house so you can house someone you don’t know well. This is not a great reason to buy a home, and if you’re not clear why you’re doing something consider that you’re being manipulated.

All that said, in most places if you buy a house and allow this person to move in with you, even if you don’t charge rent, they will likely have some rights as a tenant and you will have some responsibilities as a landlord. What exactly this looks like depends on your local laws.

This is where you need to do a lot of research and understand clearly what you’re getting into as a homeowner and as a potential landlord. How would you buy a house? Do you have thousands of dollars for a down payment? What is the housing market like where you live? What is your credit like? Do you have the income or savings to handle when things break?

If you’re actually thinking about just buying land, then you need to understand what that means. What will you be allowed and not allowed to do. If this acquaintance wants you to buy land so they can park a camper on it or something, consider that may not be allowed everywhere.

I think you should put some distance and space between yourself and this person and see if this is still something you want to do.
posted by jeoc at 9:26 AM on September 21


seanmpuckett & jeoc, thank you, i appreciate the caution. i’ll also clarify: i care about the relationship less than i care about the person. To be fair, i care about the person a lot. they are very much going through a rough patch in their life right now. though having seen Get Out, i’ve never said it & never plan to. the land’s big enough for two, three, etc..

what final recourse do you want to have?
walking away (see e.g. a recent blue thread)

How would you buy a house?
carefully (i've worked in the field)

Do you have thousands of dollars for a down payment?
yes

What is the housing market like where you live?
i'm asking about buying unimproved land

What is your credit like?
good

Do you have the income or savings to handle when things break?
income
posted by HearHere at 9:35 AM on September 21


Ok but walking away means squatters rights may come into play. Land is a bit like trademark, you have to defend it. Check your jurisdiction for how that may play out
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:43 AM on September 21


I kind of think this is an unserious question given your links to boat ownership and linking to the Get Out movie as an example of what you won’t say (which, like, doesn’t make sense- the whole movie is about how he does in fact need to get out).

I think you need to get a lot less cutesy about this if this is a genuine question. If you want to buy an acre of Maine wilderness and plunk somebody on it in a camper, you do you, but it will probably be a huge hassle.
posted by jeoc at 9:52 AM on September 21


If you care about the person this much and have this much money to spend, it would probably be smarter and more practical to just tell the person to find a housing situation they like, and give them a cheque to cover one year of rent.

Then you’ve helped them without becoming financially entangled beyond just a one-time dollar amount.

If they turn out to be a terrible tenant, etc. it’s their relationship with their landlord, and not your problem at all. Worst case scenario, they trash that living situation and then they’re back to square one which puts them no worse off than they already were… And you are protected from any legal liabilities they cause. You’d only be giving up an amount of money that you say you can spare.

If it goes well, give them another cheque next year.

That would accomplish your goal of helping the person, and massively limit the THOUSAND ways everything could crash and burn and fuck you over.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 10:13 AM on September 21


What if they put a meth lab on your land, do you have any obligations or liability? What if they somehow incur some environmental liability like dumping oil into a stream? Mostly what I'd be concerned about is how can this person get ME in trouble, being the legal owner. I don't want to be named in any lawsuits that don't otherwise involve me just because my name's on the land. A property lawyer is probably the better place to ask something like this, though I guess there's no harm in asking here too.
posted by ctmf at 10:14 AM on September 21


It's also kind of... well how much control are you imagining having over this person's life (on your land). Can they invite a bunch of their criminal buddies to live with them?
posted by ctmf at 10:21 AM on September 21


Also, in the context of the Jordan Peele film, note that “get out” didn’t mean “leave my party, I want to abandon you”.

They guy that told him to Get Out was trying to save his life! “Get out” meant, “Someone is about to exploit you and badly harm you. I want to protect you, so I am begging you to run away before they trap you.”

….and frankly I rather think we need to say that to YOU! This situation you’re debating sounds naive, clueless, silly, and dangerous to the point where my first question was actually “is this person’s mental health OK?”

I think your professed level of devotion to this person is very suspect and makes me think you’re being manipulated.

What you are debating doing, billionaire parents don’t even use that method to provide for their own children … and I’m not trying to say billionaire parents are heartless or stingy! Most wealthy people provide for their own children exceptionally well. They just do it in smart and time-tested ways, many of which can be are ethical and generous and customized - not all proven methods to help someone are linked to horrible capitalist schemes.

The real question is, WHY are you so eager to take on so much unnecessary risk for this individual??
posted by nouvelle-personne at 10:23 AM on September 21


It sounds like someone you care about is down on their luck and you want to help them, maybe with a big gesture. If you have the money to buy land for someone to live on, surely you have the money to just give them to buy their own land? Or put down a deposit on a new place? You should not tie your fates together unless you know each other very well, and even then it might be iffy.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 11:13 AM on September 21


You're thinking of making (presumably) the biggest purchase of your life, and you hardly know why? No. A hundred times no. Buying property even when you are 100% sure why you're doing it is stressful and daunting. Doing it for someone you hardly know, when you don't really understand why you feel the need to do it, is the most foolish and risky way I can possibly imagine to approach property ownership.
posted by penguin pie at 11:21 AM on September 21


I agree with others that there are too many levels of risk and complication here.

Level 1 - buying and owning a home for the first time.

Level 2 - building a home on undeveloped land.

Level 3 - taking in someone who isn’t currently able to make do for themselves.

Each of these things by itself is risky and complicated and can go wrong in several ways. Multiply them together and the chances of a happy outcome are slim indeed.

I’d suggest you decide what’s most important. Helping this person? Buying a home? Developing some undeveloped land?

Try taking on one successfully and then you can think about the others.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 11:29 AM on September 21


jeoc, this is a serious question. apologies if i sound silly, that's a mix of how i express myself & riffing on the flick (please no one else explain Get Out to me; i have seen the movie). i do actually want a boat.

nouvelle_personne, i'm doing alright, thanks for asking :) maybe i'm being driven a bit crazy by the constant noise of the city; trying to figure out a way to enjoy peace & quiet in the woods or the pleasant regular crash of water

The real question is, WHY are you so eager to take on so much unnecessary risk for this individual?

mostly trying to figure out what the risks could be (& getting a much better sense of this, thanks all!)

wealthy people provide for their own children exceptionally well. They just do it in smart and time-tested ways, many of which can be are ethical and generous and customized

set up a trust or something like that? that is a path i wasn't considering. interesting. so, maybe a better question is: how to do this?
posted by HearHere at 11:41 AM on September 21


Answering "how to do this" will require a clearer problem statement than you've provided.
posted by sagc at 11:56 AM on September 21


what if something happens? i do not know the person whom I am considering sharing this property with particularly well

A range of things from improving someone's life to ruining yours.

The heart of the question is "What if I buy something expensive, and then form a relationship between someone I do not know well, myself, and an expensive thing. What could happen?"

You, the other person, and the asset become connected in legal ways in addition to whatever friendship, partnership, kinship, or otherwise you have with the person.

And your asset also exists in relation to other assets (neighbors' land) and entities (state, county, town and city laws and regulations and responsibilities).

So you're getting a lot of questions about your intent and experience, and maybe "some don't do this" advice, because there is a lot to consider.

At one end, you improve your life and someone else's, a lovely thing. At the other, you set yourself up for years of hassle, grief, friction, and bankruptcy.

The range of possibilities is that broad, and a lot of it is only in your control in the decision whether or not to do the thing. Once you embark on the thing you have much less certainty. So some of the answers are about how to accomplish the good without exposing yourself to the bad, and others are to avoid the whole thing entirely.

I personally would not do the thing you are thinking about because I do not have the room in my life for the potential extensive amount of grief that it might bring into my life, compared to the other ways of helping myself and others that do not have the same risks.
posted by zippy at 12:03 PM on September 21


It sounds to me like you want to buy land anyways, but you feel weird about living on stolen land (fair!) and buying land for an altruistic reason (helping a new friend) makes you feel better about you stolen land guilt.

Imo, if you want and can afford to buy undeveloped land, you should, especially if you have building experience. Separately, it sounds like you should get more clarity on why and how you want to help your new friend. You can look up tenants' right laws for your location to better understand the risks you might take on.

Buying land to help a new friend is not a quick fix. It will take a long time to find and purchase, and where you live it would be difficult to live without a building nov-march, at the least. A good friend of mine has been building her house in the warm months and goes south for winter. Its been two years and I think she'll be able to stay this winter for the first time. How sure are you that this person will still be in your life when they can more fully benefit from the land?

Undeveloped land is usually in a location where you need a car to get groceries. I know a lot of people in VT who have undeveloped land they live on roughly may-oct, sometimes as owners, sometimes as friends, sometimes as tenants. You will also want to look into local zoning re: campgrounds, wastewater, water supply, etc and (gently) ask around about how strictly those regulations are enforced. Some rural areas are very lax about this, some very stringent. It is very uncomfortable to live in a rural area with neighbors who resent the way your land is being used and bring you to the attention of local authorities. I bought my home at a good price because the previous (vacation) owners wanted to get out fast.

You should also find out about property taxes for the area.
posted by Summers at 12:40 PM on September 21


This all seems incredibly unwise and i would not recommend financially binding your life to someone you don't know well, particularly not at the recommendation of a forum of strangers.
posted by Sebmojo at 12:53 PM on September 21


You want to protect your interest. Do you know of the land? Title? Defects? Covenants? I'd be careful getting a piece of land offered, where you do no due diligence. If the basic is setting up an LLC so it protects you and them from not being insured. Say they cut a tree and are injured. They may sue you for that tree needed to be taken care of before they decided to cut it down. Allow for them to only go after the property, rather than the assets you have. If you know the land, does it have hidden environmental damage? How much do you really know? A lot of problems can be addressed before you even would consider. Is it in an area that allows development. Sometimes it is restricted where you don't even intend to improve it, but a hunting cabin is not allowed.
posted by brent at 5:41 PM on September 21


Have you spent much time in a rural area as an adult? I'm asking because time I've spent living in the country has made it clear there are lots and lots of people with stories of letting someone use their barn, park their RV, farm some acres, take care of their place, board their horses, &c. &c. that have gone spectacularly wrong. Sometimes people are unhoused/need help due to a real run of bad luck; sometimes people are unhoused/need help because they really, really struggle to function; and sometimes people are unhoused/need help because they are manipulative grifters who can spin a good yarn. You may think your acquaintance can't possibly be the latter two, but that's what everyone who has had to clean up after someone who wrecked a property, abandoned their animals, or permanently destroyed their relationship with their neighbors thought, too. And while people who struggle to function may not have a mean bone in their body and would never intentionally hurt anyone, the outcome can be exactly the same as if someone deliberately set out to mislead. This doesn't mean people don't deserve help; it means you should take care to protect yourself if things don't work out.

I think the suggestions of helping this person in such a way that you are not tied to anything that may go wrong are wise. Walking away from a boat or a piece of property are not things one can do if someone has, say, illegally redirected a waterway, or sunk the boat. If authorities can't find that person, they will find you and you will be on the hook for cleaning up the mess. This happens to people all the time, not just with recent acquaintances, but family members, friends, and coworkers that they have known for a very long time. If this person cares for you, discussing how to help them in a way that keeps you safe will be something they are on board with. If this kind of discussion upsets them, do not invest in any of their schemes or plans.
posted by oneirodynia at 6:45 PM on September 21


this is a serious question. apologies if i sound silly, that's a mix of how i express myself [link to semantic drift FPP] & riffing on the flick (please no one else explain Get Out to me; i have seen the movie). i do actually want a boat.

I think one thing that's worth thinking about is whether you're able to think about this - to yourself - in a clearer, more organized, and more serious way than this question has been framed, and also whether, should need to interact with sellers, lawyers, regulators, builders, repairpeople, and so on - not to mention the person you want to help - you'll be handling those interactions in clear, organized, and serious ways. Because if drifty free association is not just a mode you enjoy by choice but a mode you have a hard time not operating in, it increases the likelihood that you wouldn't be thinking this big decision through well enough, and that the people you interact with will not take you seriously, possibly not understand your intent at all, or see you as someone to be taken advantage of.

It is totally fine and legit to be this way and I'm not trying to say otherwise. I do think that it's something to take into account when deciding if you have the resources necessary to do this, because financial resources are not the only kind of resource needed. I think the ability to both think through and express things clearly and seriously is as necessary or at least helpful a resource for what you have in mind as, say, a capacity for sustained physical exertion is for operating a sailboat. There are a lot of things that I don't have the personality traits, cognitive skills, energy, or physical ability necessary to do sustainably or well; when I have tried to do the things I am badly equipped for, the results have generally been not good. Would you be well equipped for this?

If you are able to express your plans clearly, then I would first take them to a lawyer and financial planner to learn about the different options you have, what responsibilities they involve, and how they might play out.


(I will confess that I still don't follow how a boat connects to this question. I can imagine various random scenarios, but whether they're in any way the same as what you're imagining I have no idea.)
posted by trig at 4:20 AM on September 22


I don’t want to pile on or discourage you fro following your dreams or helping your friend. But you are not making a lot of sense here. As professional service provider, I’d try to get you out of the door as fast as possible if you came to me with this convoluted set of ideas. My rationale would be that I’d have to spend an inordinate amount of time shepherding you through options and things you haven’t thought about but come to you at the 11th hr. And chances are you’d balk at a bill that reflects how much time all that actually takes. You’ll need to have more clearly defined goals than you’re articulating here for a professional to help you in a meaningful way.

I agree with the impression that you’re trying to kill two or more birds with one stone here. So I’d caution you against that.

There are ways to help out your friend that do not require you to buy anything. Pursue those if you feel compelled to help this person, especially if you can’t explain why you should help them. As you say you have some money, my recommendation would be to determine an amount you can gift, cut them a cheque for that amount and be done. If you have time, research what support organisations serve people facing the same situation as your friend and provide that information to them. But don’t do anything that creates prolonged financial/legal entanglement like co-signing anything or acting as guarantor or letting them move in.

As for wanting to buy undeveloped land/boats etc. Figure out what you are trying to achieve by doing that. That goal should have nothing to do with your friend, this is entirely about you.

Then explore if that is a realistic outcome for the action you’re considering both in terms of legal requirements and financial requirements to sustain. That is where a professional can help you - explaining steps and implications of a specific course of action.

Only after doing that research and concluding that the desired outcome is a feasible outcome of such a purchase should you buy the land or the boat or whatever it may be. Feasible here means something a lot more likely than ‘may be possible if all the stars align and your deity of choice is smiling on you’.
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:02 AM on September 22


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