Looking for movies that showcase “loyal” women

August 20, 2024 8:54 AM

As part of my long running “reprogram my male veteran friends” quest, I am looking for movies containing heterosexual romantic pairings where the woman is “loyal” to her romantic partner. Bonus points inside.

So because this is a reprogramming quest, the less obviously “woke” the movie is, the better it will be for my purposes as the more they will be able to relax into it. Thus, older movies (pre-2000) are preferred here. (1940s or 1980s movies especially popular)

Extra bonus points if the male romantic lead:
- is a veteran
- is cynical about women or has had his heart broken before
- is a traditionally “macho” guy

Extra bonus points if the female romantic lead:
- appears suspicious at any point, but is later proven truthful
- is maligned falsely by other macho guys
- protects the male lead from physical harm or being arrested
- undergoes suffering in order to protect the male lead

Thank you all in advance for your service!

posted by corb to Media & Arts (32 answers total)

Preston Sturges's 1940 film "Christmas in July" - the male lead tries to tell his girlfriend that she oughta break up with him and instead find someone who's on track to be a financial success, but she refuses and sticks by him. Late in the film she speaks up to protect/defend him.
posted by brainwane at 9:06 AM on August 20

Die Hard -100% fits all of your criteria
Terminator 1 and 2.
Rambo 2 ~ lady dies though.
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:22 AM on August 20

Jessica Rabbit in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" fits a number of your "female romantic lead" extra bonus points, although there's nothing of Roger himself in your "male romantic lead" points.
posted by hanov3r at 9:28 AM on August 20

In A Lonely Place, (1950)

"After a Hollywood screenwriter Dixon 'Dix' Steel (Humphrey Bogart), suspected of murder, is given an alibi by his neighbour Laurel Gray (Gloria Grahame), the pair become lovers and he overcomes his writer’s block. But can their relationship survive the persistent attentions of the police investigation?"

Wikipedia entry.

It hits many but not all of your points: Dix is a veteran, and while Laurel protects him from jail there isn't anything in it where she is protecting him from physical harm.

Perhaps more significantly, the idea of 'loyalty' is precisely part of what's complicated about this film – Dix is clearly a dangerous and abusive guy, and Laurel sticks up for him, but her loyalty starts to be eroded by the pressure of everyone else's suspicions. He then reads at least one of her actions as incredibly disloyal, but it's something she chooses to do out of love / loyalty / support for him: she didn't know it crossed some sort of line for him.

I'd 100% recommend the film (it's amazing), but I'd suggest watching it through first yourself to get a sense as to whether it's hitting the kind of notes or raises the kinds of issues that you're prepared to discuss. I think there's a lot in it that could be really useful in your ongoing quest with your veteran friends. (Usefully, both Bogart and Grahame are completely stunning and smolderingly strong in this movie). Tip!
posted by Joeruckus at 9:45 AM on August 20

Australia (2008)
Crocodile Dundee (although leading lady is somewhat torn between her feelings/obligations)
posted by Sassyfras at 9:48 AM on August 20

I also immediately thought of In A Lonely Place and agree with Joeruckus' caveats.
posted by terretu at 9:56 AM on August 20

Baseball movies are surprisingly good at this. The women are usually age appropriate for their love interests, supportive, and have personalities. And who's manlier than a baseball player, it's our national pastime.

Off the top of my head, some solid matches:

A League of Their Own
Field of Dreams
42
For the Love of the Game features a separation and reconciliation
posted by phunniemee at 10:02 AM on August 20

A lot of Audy Murphy movies follow a similar script. Sierra in particular has a strong woman supporting him in his quest to clear his name and his father's name.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:32 AM on August 20

I would argue that the Mel Gibson movie We We Soldiers fits the criteria. Col. Moore's wife supports him at home and holds together the wives while his battalion fights one of the first battles of the (American) Vietnam war. It is sort of a 1960s traditional role of wife supporting husband at home while he goes to work (war in this case). My son is stationed elsewhere now, but he was stationed at Ft Benning when they renamed it after Hal Moore (Gibson character).

Rooster Cogburn with Wayne and Hepburn has a vet (rebel vet) and a supportive loyal woman. She gets him out of trouble with the court at the end.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:41 AM on August 20

The Best Years of Our Lives
posted by jgirl at 10:47 AM on August 20

Here's a Reddit thread that might or might not be helpful.

Also: Punch-drunk love
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 11:10 AM on August 20

First Man had a lot of Clare Foy as the unfailingly supportive wife of Neil Armstrong, and it's roughly biographical? Also an older subject (moon landing) and has a very retro aesthetic for a newer movie.
posted by daisystomper at 11:17 AM on August 20

Does “My Cousin Vinny” count?

The male lead doesn’t necessarily fit your requests, but I think the female one does (and the actress won an Oscar for her portrayal). Their relationship isn’t exactly healthy, but it’s her car knowledge that brings him success.
posted by nat at 11:26 AM on August 20

The Natural
posted by bq at 11:52 AM on August 20

this list may be helpful
posted by bq at 11:55 AM on August 20

Weirdly enough I might suggest the TV show Mad Men. The Peggy and Joan characters in particular display a lot of loyalty to both individual men and the company at large while enduring both petty misogyny and some out and out terrible suffering. Through it all they grit their teeth and put the needs of men or the organization above their own needs. I think the story of both women ended quite well. However, a 7 year series is probably too much.

The Apartment might fit the bill as well, though Jack Lemon as the romantic lead is not macho at all.
posted by brookeb at 12:18 PM on August 20

A Town Like Alice, the TV miniseries.

Set against the brutal chaos of World War II, a love story begins that will take two lovers through a living nightmare of captivity, across three continents and two decades. From the steamy jungles of Malaya to the dusty and desolate outback of Australia. Based on Nevil Shute's international bestselling novel A TOWN LIKE ALICE follows the lives of Jean Paget and Joe Harman. Meeting in Malaya - she an attractive young English captive and he a cheerful Australian POW tortured for a simple act of kindness. Separated first by their captors then by the distance of passing years, the two are finally reunited in the rugged outback of Australia-to face a challenge every bit as demanding as their wartime trials.—Walter Coffey
posted by CMcG at 12:37 PM on August 20

Con Air. Hero is a Ranger. Goes to prison for defending her and accidentally killing the aggressor. She waits. Not remotely woke.
posted by biffa at 1:19 PM on August 20

Would much older movies not just reinforce the idea that “women nowadays are…”?
posted by Iteki at 1:32 PM on August 20

Would much older movies not just reinforce the idea that “women nowadays are…”

To clarify, a lot of these guys are working from a starting position that all women from the beginning of time are terrible, all are disloyal, all are just after money, all cheat on their husbands, so even getting them to the position of “once upon a time women were loyal” would still be an improvement.

These are great all, keep them coming!
posted by corb at 1:47 PM on August 20

Okay, this isn't about wives back home but a few Army nurses and a group of women refugees who volunteer to help at a field hospital on Bataan during WWII--so you know where this is heading. All-female ensemble with virtually no male speaking roles. Intense. Cry Havoc (1943)
posted by TWinbrook8 at 2:43 PM on August 20

Maybe 2000's Mission to Mars? Connie Nielson's character is loyal to her astronaut-macho husband played by Tim Robbins. He risks his life during a dangerous EVA, she risks her life to save him, then he sacrifices himself to keep her safe and she is very sad and then also loyal to carrying out the overall mission (to Mars!!)
posted by Drosera at 3:54 PM on August 20

It's a Wonderful Life - I mean, Mary (Donna Reed) seems like the archetypally supportive wife to me. (George isn't a veteran, but his brother Harry is)
posted by paper scissors sock at 4:30 PM on August 20

I also think Erin Brockovich could work. Here's woman who is barely living paycheck to paycheck. She is definitely looked down upon from a class perspective; she's looking to right a wrong on behalf of other people, not out for herself; and while she and her love interest (macho biker dude) have ups and downs they end up together in the end.
posted by brookeb at 5:54 PM on August 20

The African Queen, and if that works out they can listen to old episodes of Bold Venture.
posted by credulous at 6:20 PM on August 20

I've seen several of the films on bq's link and yes, they're great for your question. Such as Rocky and Butterfly Man. Very macho men who nevertheless go through hardship and trauma and are thoroughly supported by their women and emerge victorious.
posted by panhopticon at 8:48 PM on August 20

A Very Long Engagement is about three women who are very loyal to soldiers who died in the trenches of WWI, in three different and unexpected ways. This focuses more on the women than on the soldiers. But it has a theme that might be interesting - even though the men aren't perfect action heroes, they still inspire love and esteem.
posted by muddgirl at 10:28 PM on August 20

The eighties TV show China Beach is like M*A*S*H for Vietnam. It follows the lives of the women working in and around the medical center and the women are just women... Well rounded, not always fully sympathetic but good decent women all trying their damnedest to protect and support the men in their care. It's based on real people and they are interviewed parallel in one of the later seasons. It's not really available to buy because the music is fantaaaaastic but it's available to Navy vets if you know what I mean. If you show them, skip the title sequence the first time, they might not notice it's about women ;) also prescreen and check appropriateness, it might be very triggering if they have combat experience.
posted by Iteki at 1:04 AM on August 21

The mention of Claire Foy upthread reminded me of the movie Breathe (2017, apparently not the only movie with this name) which has the advantage of being a true story.

Her main characterization at the opening of the movie is a Grace Kellyeque blonde beauty who marries a handsome vital Andrew Garfield in the 50s. Their love seems rather shallow if sincere. Andrew Garfield is felled by polio and ends up completely disabled. Not only does she stay by his side, she never cheats (though I think he encourages her to), and the two of them change the world for disabled people with their grit and determination.
posted by Jenny'sCricket at 5:20 AM on August 21

It sounds like you're looking for narrative films specifically, but dropping a documentary in here in case you might find it useful too: Love After War
posted by Kabanos at 11:15 AM on August 21

A small thing in the overall movie, but the first thing that came to my mind was the Sattler/Grant/Malcolm dynamic in Jurassic Park, where Malcolm is blatantly hitting on Sattler in front of Grant, but there's no macho posturing in response, and even though Sattler is charmed on some level it's clear that she isn't interested.
posted by AndrewInDC at 12:30 PM on August 21

If your friends can handle the idea of a musical, may I submit On The Town (1949) for your consideration. The 3 protagonists (Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin) are small-town sailors on shore leave, visiting NY City for the first time. They run into and quickly form flings with 3 women: vampy student, Claire (Ann Miller), leering tomboy taxi driver, Hildy (Betty Garrett), and model/dancer, Ivy (Vera-Ellen). Despite the initial appearances of Claire and Hildy, and the late reveal that Ivy's a (highly sanitised - it's the 40s) stripper, they all prove entirely wholesome, devoted love interests, looking out for our naive boys in the big city. There is a little bit of 'white lie' deception in service of preserving some of the protagonists' illusions, so they can keep having a good time, but they are entirely Good Women, if occasionally a little raunchy. The movie takes a very sanitised 40s cinema approach to how it presents its sailors, mostly positive with a couple of moments of melancholy. FYI if it turns out to be a hit and you end up on a deep dive, the stage version tackles the sailors in a more complex way, fleshing out the stresses of their lives a bit more.
posted by threecheesetrees at 9:49 PM on August 21