In search of organizing content for people with (maybe) ADHD
August 13, 2024 7:54 PM Subscribe
I don't know if I have ADHD, but I do get sidetracked a million times a day, often by visual cues. This makes prepping for an upcoming inspection of my apartment very difficult.
I'll start to load the dishwasher, go off to find random mugs, see a vase of old flowers on the table. I take those to the compost. On the way out, the door creaks and I wander around trying to find grease. I notice the bird feeder needs to be filled up. Then a dog is interested in the rustling sounds and wants some hugs, I find a tick, start brushing all the dogs, and suddenly it's 2 am and I still haven't loaded the dishwasher.
I forget to eat and sleep and it's just a frustrating experience. I've seen a couple short videos about a very practical organizing style, and I'd like more. The content for the ADHD community resonates with me. No clear glass jars with beautiful labels. No purchasing 1200 tiny baskets. I just want "good enough".
My landlord, who does not like me at all, will be coming in for an inspection on Monday. I'm not too worried yet. I expect that to change soon, and I'd like to get a lot of work done before I start feeling super anxious.
The living room, office, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen will all look good with about 7 hours of work, total. Mostly vacuuming/mopping, dusting and then fixing a couple of broken shelves. But there's a small spare room (~130ft²/12m²) that is problematic because we've exclusively used it as a storage area. There's not much of a system in that room, and not even much furniture. A bookshelf, a desk, one of those IKEA square organizers. And then there's stacks of things. Lots of nostalgic items, books, broken things that need to be repaired, and devices (an infrared lamp, a yoghurt maker, a drone). And then mountains of old documents and some laundry. You can see the floor, it's not stuffed like in certain TV shows. But it's just not tidy.
I try to remind myself that there's no law against having an untidy room. The house is not being harmed. But the landlord will definitely be looking for the tiniest issues, so I want the apartment to look as good as possible. I want that guy to walk around, do his sneering, and get out. He's already said he thinks us having the curtains drawn is causing humid conditions and, thus, mould. He also says we're probably "running a dog hotel". There is no mould. We have the windows open all the time, but in the hot season we keep them closed during the day to then benefit from the cooler temperatures with multiple windows open all night long. We have no AC, and this is standard practice for everyone I know. We aren't running a dog hotel (though that sounds awesome), we just have relatives' dogs visit to play with our own dogs. Dogs are allowed in the lease, and I've asked our lawyer who says we absolutely can have other dogs visit.
Anyway, our landlord will allegedly only be looking out for signs of a dog hotel (maybe I should put the puppy-sized jacuzzi and sauna away?) and mould. But I really think that spare room needs to look like we live in it. We don't have any spare comfortable chairs, otherwise I might at least put a nice armchair in the room.
We do have some empty moving boxes because we're getting ready to move out, and we could put some smaller stuff in those. The landlord would be happy seeing packed boxes. But I'm very concerned we'll then have boxes of utter randomness, and it'll be even harder to find things we might need. Is there anyone out there who can help us think about categories, priorities, and how to go through stuff without getting distracted? While I love K.C. Davis and her book helped me a lot, I need some more ideas for this particular challenge.
I'll start to load the dishwasher, go off to find random mugs, see a vase of old flowers on the table. I take those to the compost. On the way out, the door creaks and I wander around trying to find grease. I notice the bird feeder needs to be filled up. Then a dog is interested in the rustling sounds and wants some hugs, I find a tick, start brushing all the dogs, and suddenly it's 2 am and I still haven't loaded the dishwasher.
I forget to eat and sleep and it's just a frustrating experience. I've seen a couple short videos about a very practical organizing style, and I'd like more. The content for the ADHD community resonates with me. No clear glass jars with beautiful labels. No purchasing 1200 tiny baskets. I just want "good enough".
My landlord, who does not like me at all, will be coming in for an inspection on Monday. I'm not too worried yet. I expect that to change soon, and I'd like to get a lot of work done before I start feeling super anxious.
The living room, office, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen will all look good with about 7 hours of work, total. Mostly vacuuming/mopping, dusting and then fixing a couple of broken shelves. But there's a small spare room (~130ft²/12m²) that is problematic because we've exclusively used it as a storage area. There's not much of a system in that room, and not even much furniture. A bookshelf, a desk, one of those IKEA square organizers. And then there's stacks of things. Lots of nostalgic items, books, broken things that need to be repaired, and devices (an infrared lamp, a yoghurt maker, a drone). And then mountains of old documents and some laundry. You can see the floor, it's not stuffed like in certain TV shows. But it's just not tidy.
I try to remind myself that there's no law against having an untidy room. The house is not being harmed. But the landlord will definitely be looking for the tiniest issues, so I want the apartment to look as good as possible. I want that guy to walk around, do his sneering, and get out. He's already said he thinks us having the curtains drawn is causing humid conditions and, thus, mould. He also says we're probably "running a dog hotel". There is no mould. We have the windows open all the time, but in the hot season we keep them closed during the day to then benefit from the cooler temperatures with multiple windows open all night long. We have no AC, and this is standard practice for everyone I know. We aren't running a dog hotel (though that sounds awesome), we just have relatives' dogs visit to play with our own dogs. Dogs are allowed in the lease, and I've asked our lawyer who says we absolutely can have other dogs visit.
Anyway, our landlord will allegedly only be looking out for signs of a dog hotel (maybe I should put the puppy-sized jacuzzi and sauna away?) and mould. But I really think that spare room needs to look like we live in it. We don't have any spare comfortable chairs, otherwise I might at least put a nice armchair in the room.
We do have some empty moving boxes because we're getting ready to move out, and we could put some smaller stuff in those. The landlord would be happy seeing packed boxes. But I'm very concerned we'll then have boxes of utter randomness, and it'll be even harder to find things we might need. Is there anyone out there who can help us think about categories, priorities, and how to go through stuff without getting distracted? While I love K.C. Davis and her book helped me a lot, I need some more ideas for this particular challenge.
Best answer: I would suggest you buy about 24 of these clear stackable flip top bins in the 12.9 gallon size. I know it sounds like a lot but you'll use them all, I promise.
Plus a couple rolls of 1.5 inch wide green masking tape, some black trash bags, and a few sharpies.
Label the bins with sharpie on masking tape. Maybe start with some of the label ideas below.
Then fill and stack the bins along one wall. As you find more things to put in the bins, you may want to change the labels as needed.
Garbage goes into a black trash bag. Recycling gets all stuffed into a box.
Anything to donate goes into a black trash bag, and use tape to make a giant X on the side of the bag, so that bag doesn't get discarded by accident. Tie those donation bags up when they're only about half full so they're not too heavy, and I dare you not to look inside them again, just get them into a hallway and do a thrift shop run as often as possible. You're in efficiency mode so it is OK to donate unwashed laundry or slightly broken or imperfect items. Get them out of your house, don't try to be perfect, just try to move tons of stuff out. Let it all find a new home.
Some sample bin labels you could start with:
Nostalgia-Toucan and Nostalgia-Partner
Documents-Needs Action / Documents-2017-2024 (ie, keeping 7 years of taxes in one bin) / Documents-2016 and older
Broken things to fix
Rarely-worn clothes to keep
Winter clothes storage
Take to kitchen / Take to bedroom / etc
Give away (and add extra tape and WRITE WHAT YOU'RE GIVING TO WHOM right on the label so you can see it and it keeps reminding you to do the task.
Seasonal decor (separate by holiday if needed)
Small electronics that we still use
Old electronics we don't use (like old laptops and phones)
Things to shred
2024 tax papers and receipts
Home textiles (blankets, cushions, etc)
Houseplant-related tools (pots, fertilizer, soil, etc)
Travel items (packing cubes, travel scale, cash from other countries, toiletry bag, etc)
Picture frames / Home Decor
Dog Stuff
Books to reshelve in our house / Books to get rid of
This list is about 24 bins and imagine how much tidier it would be if all those categories were neatly contained into LABELLED bins along one wall!
etc etc.
Rules:
You MUST label the bins. Label everything. You clearly thrive on visual cues, so give them to yourself!!
Don't try to FILL the bins to the top. Instead, try to actually just accurately categorize things into the bins, and it's ok if a bin is half full - the win is when everything inside it belongs there.
Then eventually you can try to pare down / get rid of the contents of one bin at a time.
If you actually manage to bin up all your stuff you'll be SHOCKED at how much sudden head space you'll have!
I also find it super helpful to buy TWELVE identical white laundry baskets. Again I know it sounds like a ton but it's SO helpful for organizing!! They're stackable so storing them isn't a hassle and it really makes life easier when sorting laundry or decluttering or packing for a trip or really so many home tasks. Anywhere you'd keep a laundry basket (closet, etc) now you'll just keep THREE laundry baskets stacked together. So you never end up without one and your laundry sorting becomes way faster.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:48 PM on August 13 [7 favorites]
Plus a couple rolls of 1.5 inch wide green masking tape, some black trash bags, and a few sharpies.
Label the bins with sharpie on masking tape. Maybe start with some of the label ideas below.
Then fill and stack the bins along one wall. As you find more things to put in the bins, you may want to change the labels as needed.
Garbage goes into a black trash bag. Recycling gets all stuffed into a box.
Anything to donate goes into a black trash bag, and use tape to make a giant X on the side of the bag, so that bag doesn't get discarded by accident. Tie those donation bags up when they're only about half full so they're not too heavy, and I dare you not to look inside them again, just get them into a hallway and do a thrift shop run as often as possible. You're in efficiency mode so it is OK to donate unwashed laundry or slightly broken or imperfect items. Get them out of your house, don't try to be perfect, just try to move tons of stuff out. Let it all find a new home.
Some sample bin labels you could start with:
Nostalgia-Toucan and Nostalgia-Partner
Documents-Needs Action / Documents-2017-2024 (ie, keeping 7 years of taxes in one bin) / Documents-2016 and older
Broken things to fix
Rarely-worn clothes to keep
Winter clothes storage
Take to kitchen / Take to bedroom / etc
Give away (and add extra tape and WRITE WHAT YOU'RE GIVING TO WHOM right on the label so you can see it and it keeps reminding you to do the task.
Seasonal decor (separate by holiday if needed)
Small electronics that we still use
Old electronics we don't use (like old laptops and phones)
Things to shred
2024 tax papers and receipts
Home textiles (blankets, cushions, etc)
Houseplant-related tools (pots, fertilizer, soil, etc)
Travel items (packing cubes, travel scale, cash from other countries, toiletry bag, etc)
Picture frames / Home Decor
Dog Stuff
Books to reshelve in our house / Books to get rid of
This list is about 24 bins and imagine how much tidier it would be if all those categories were neatly contained into LABELLED bins along one wall!
etc etc.
Rules:
You MUST label the bins. Label everything. You clearly thrive on visual cues, so give them to yourself!!
Don't try to FILL the bins to the top. Instead, try to actually just accurately categorize things into the bins, and it's ok if a bin is half full - the win is when everything inside it belongs there.
Then eventually you can try to pare down / get rid of the contents of one bin at a time.
If you actually manage to bin up all your stuff you'll be SHOCKED at how much sudden head space you'll have!
I also find it super helpful to buy TWELVE identical white laundry baskets. Again I know it sounds like a ton but it's SO helpful for organizing!! They're stackable so storing them isn't a hassle and it really makes life easier when sorting laundry or decluttering or packing for a trip or really so many home tasks. Anywhere you'd keep a laundry basket (closet, etc) now you'll just keep THREE laundry baskets stacked together. So you never end up without one and your laundry sorting becomes way faster.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:48 PM on August 13 [7 favorites]
I literally just got this tattooed on my arm “follow your list” but that’s how I survive (plus meds) - lists and lists and lists. Paper lists, excel lists, todo app lists - sometimes it is a post it list with 1. Make coffee, 2. Throw trash, 3. Clear mugs off table, 4. Brush teeth.
I also use identical storage bags and boxes with a label maker and I don’t care that my house looks a little crazy over labelled because I can (sometimes) find things. Identical laundry baskets is a GREAT idea.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:56 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
I also use identical storage bags and boxes with a label maker and I don’t care that my house looks a little crazy over labelled because I can (sometimes) find things. Identical laundry baskets is a GREAT idea.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:56 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Also I had to stage a house in similar conditions and I boxed the fuck up of everything really fast, then did one box per TV show over the next two weeks after the staging. It helped to write a box number and then tape what’s inside on notepaper, but that can be done after - it’s nice to say okay I did 3 boxes out of 36, I’ll be done in a week. People are all touch it once, be disciplined - meh maybe if you’re neurotypical. Doing it in binges is waaaay easier.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:59 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:59 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I support the above suggestions except fewer categories, easier decisions, few to no labels.
Okay, you're moving soon, anyway, so why not go get 1200 not decorative baskies but big, stackable opaque (clear=fine, too, but opaque looks neater for the irritable landlord) rubbermaid tubs with lids and a box of jumbo-sized trash bags. March into that storage room and everything you can easily and rapidly put into a trash bag to throw away, put in there immediately. Everything else that's just being stored but that you can't part with easily and rapidly for whatever reason no matter how silly it may sound to someone else--you really WILL fix it one day; it was your mother's yoghurt maker; you are going to need a drone on Boxing Day for... reasons--put in a tub. Don't bother with the reasons, there's no time. If you can't easily put it in the trash, it goes in one of your many tubs full of deferred decisions. There is to be no guilt or recriminations about this. The landlord is coming, this is what has to happen, it's not your fault the landlord is a nosy parker, the end.
Work methodically until you clear a section in which to stack the filled tubs. Anything you think you'll need before you move put it away in a reasonable place elsewhere in the house, but the bar for that should be high. What do you really need, anyway? A pot, a bowl, a spoon, a towel, a pillow, a toothbrush, and a couple changes of clothes. Everything else is luxury stuff for after you're in your new place. Right now it's time to pack and go.
The two categories are Keep and Throw Away. Give Away/Donate is a subset of Keep because you don't have time to ponder. You do not have to throw away usable stuff, but decisions about which things to donate can all wait until you're safe in the new place. If there's a lot of stuff you KNOW you want to give away and you don't have to make difficult decisions about it, you can designate tubs for that stuff. But if it starts to slow you down or you sense you're beginning to spend too long gazing at objects a-ponderin' and reminiscin', desist with that and get back to the simple binary: keep it or toss it?
The dogs are welcome to help with this effort, but their job is to sit quietly and not ask for hugs until it's time for you to take a break and go outside for a nice walk with them. Then back at it.
posted by Don Pepino at 9:05 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
Okay, you're moving soon, anyway, so why not go get 1200 not decorative baskies but big, stackable opaque (clear=fine, too, but opaque looks neater for the irritable landlord) rubbermaid tubs with lids and a box of jumbo-sized trash bags. March into that storage room and everything you can easily and rapidly put into a trash bag to throw away, put in there immediately. Everything else that's just being stored but that you can't part with easily and rapidly for whatever reason no matter how silly it may sound to someone else--you really WILL fix it one day; it was your mother's yoghurt maker; you are going to need a drone on Boxing Day for... reasons--put in a tub. Don't bother with the reasons, there's no time. If you can't easily put it in the trash, it goes in one of your many tubs full of deferred decisions. There is to be no guilt or recriminations about this. The landlord is coming, this is what has to happen, it's not your fault the landlord is a nosy parker, the end.
Work methodically until you clear a section in which to stack the filled tubs. Anything you think you'll need before you move put it away in a reasonable place elsewhere in the house, but the bar for that should be high. What do you really need, anyway? A pot, a bowl, a spoon, a towel, a pillow, a toothbrush, and a couple changes of clothes. Everything else is luxury stuff for after you're in your new place. Right now it's time to pack and go.
The two categories are Keep and Throw Away. Give Away/Donate is a subset of Keep because you don't have time to ponder. You do not have to throw away usable stuff, but decisions about which things to donate can all wait until you're safe in the new place. If there's a lot of stuff you KNOW you want to give away and you don't have to make difficult decisions about it, you can designate tubs for that stuff. But if it starts to slow you down or you sense you're beginning to spend too long gazing at objects a-ponderin' and reminiscin', desist with that and get back to the simple binary: keep it or toss it?
The dogs are welcome to help with this effort, but their job is to sit quietly and not ask for hugs until it's time for you to take a break and go outside for a nice walk with them. Then back at it.
posted by Don Pepino at 9:05 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Transparent bins, always always always. Not opaque. Cannot stress that enough. Then you stack them, and if you need to make it pretty you just drape a sheet over the whole stack for the landlord visit.
Eventually the goal is to have less clutter, fewer bins, and a permanent home for the remaining bins behind a closed door - ie, a very organized closet. But for now, a bin-stack concealed under a sheet would be a huge improvement.
When the landlord is gone, in labelled you can actually find your shit again forever after. Opaque bins are the devil for unorganized people, because you have to OPEN them ALL to see what's in them and find the thing, and that adds labour and moving things and becomes exhausting. And in the meantime the things in opaque bins never jog your memory that the they still exist, so you're much more likely to not-be-able-to-find-things a few months later and buy more and more duplicates. If you cannot find an item in 5 minutes it might as well be in a landfill.
And even clear bins need labels. Label things. It makes SUCH a difference when 6 months have passed and you're like "...what's that box of papers? what's that box with ... fabric... things.... in it?"
Also, transparent bins and labels make for more equitable division of labour because they mean other people can step into a system and participate in sorting and finding and remembering and locating and fetching things. But that only happens when the categories are in plain sight and not all hidden in one person's head and faulty overtaxed memory.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 9:25 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
Eventually the goal is to have less clutter, fewer bins, and a permanent home for the remaining bins behind a closed door - ie, a very organized closet. But for now, a bin-stack concealed under a sheet would be a huge improvement.
When the landlord is gone, in labelled you can actually find your shit again forever after. Opaque bins are the devil for unorganized people, because you have to OPEN them ALL to see what's in them and find the thing, and that adds labour and moving things and becomes exhausting. And in the meantime the things in opaque bins never jog your memory that the they still exist, so you're much more likely to not-be-able-to-find-things a few months later and buy more and more duplicates. If you cannot find an item in 5 minutes it might as well be in a landfill.
And even clear bins need labels. Label things. It makes SUCH a difference when 6 months have passed and you're like "...what's that box of papers? what's that box with ... fabric... things.... in it?"
Also, transparent bins and labels make for more equitable division of labour because they mean other people can step into a system and participate in sorting and finding and remembering and locating and fetching things. But that only happens when the categories are in plain sight and not all hidden in one person's head and faulty overtaxed memory.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 9:25 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Clutterbug has a YouTube channel.
How to ADHD.
Back up emergency plan can be to store some stuff in the car. Perhaps you can borrow (or rent) a chair.
Wire shelving units (ex) are not particularly stylish. However, they are usually pretty study, are somewhat user friendly to assemble, and make good use of vertical space.
posted by oceano at 10:23 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]
How to ADHD.
Back up emergency plan can be to store some stuff in the car. Perhaps you can borrow (or rent) a chair.
Wire shelving units (ex) are not particularly stylish. However, they are usually pretty study, are somewhat user friendly to assemble, and make good use of vertical space.
posted by oceano at 10:23 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Don't do this now.
The landlord would be happy seeing packed boxes. But I'm very concerned we'll then have boxes of utter randomness, and it'll be even harder to find things we might need. Is there anyone out there who can help us think about categories, priorities, and how to go through stuff without getting distracted?
That is optimization. Since your landlord is coming on Monday, there's a lot of cleaning work you have to do, and presumably you don't want to spend Sunday night in a desperate panic, I would not try to optimize right now. Right now I would get boxes - clear, cardboard, fabric covered, whatever; dump the stuff in the boxes; label them for show, if you like; pile them up so they look presentable; do your cleaning and other stuff, which will probably take more than the 7 hours you're estimating; and hopefully spend the rest of the weekend relaxing.
THEN, after your landlord is gone, spend some subsequent weekends unpacking those boxes one by one and organizing the contents in some actual system. But this weekend is not the time for that. This weekend, don't look through stuff, don't think about it, just put it in boxes. When you feel yourself getting distracted, tell yourself "great thought, we'll look at this next week". If your brain starts feeding you some idea about something you should do right now about some object, take out your phone and write it down or record it and tell yourself "great thought, I'll do it next week." Then go back to what you were doing before your brain interrupted. (If you're like me you'll probably never look at the note you made again, but it helps satisfy your momentary urge to act on the sidetracking idea.)
As far as categories for when you do actually start optimizing, "Lots of nostalgic items, books, broken things that need to be repaired, and devices (an infrared lamp, a yoghurt maker, a drone). And then mountains of old documents and some laundry" seem like pretty decent categories to me. The only thing that doesn't fit there is laundry - wash the laundry now, then either put the clothes in the closet/dresser or box them up to deal with post-inspection.
posted by trig at 5:47 AM on August 14 [7 favorites]
The landlord would be happy seeing packed boxes. But I'm very concerned we'll then have boxes of utter randomness, and it'll be even harder to find things we might need. Is there anyone out there who can help us think about categories, priorities, and how to go through stuff without getting distracted?
That is optimization. Since your landlord is coming on Monday, there's a lot of cleaning work you have to do, and presumably you don't want to spend Sunday night in a desperate panic, I would not try to optimize right now. Right now I would get boxes - clear, cardboard, fabric covered, whatever; dump the stuff in the boxes; label them for show, if you like; pile them up so they look presentable; do your cleaning and other stuff, which will probably take more than the 7 hours you're estimating; and hopefully spend the rest of the weekend relaxing.
THEN, after your landlord is gone, spend some subsequent weekends unpacking those boxes one by one and organizing the contents in some actual system. But this weekend is not the time for that. This weekend, don't look through stuff, don't think about it, just put it in boxes. When you feel yourself getting distracted, tell yourself "great thought, we'll look at this next week". If your brain starts feeding you some idea about something you should do right now about some object, take out your phone and write it down or record it and tell yourself "great thought, I'll do it next week." Then go back to what you were doing before your brain interrupted. (If you're like me you'll probably never look at the note you made again, but it helps satisfy your momentary urge to act on the sidetracking idea.)
As far as categories for when you do actually start optimizing, "Lots of nostalgic items, books, broken things that need to be repaired, and devices (an infrared lamp, a yoghurt maker, a drone). And then mountains of old documents and some laundry" seem like pretty decent categories to me. The only thing that doesn't fit there is laundry - wash the laundry now, then either put the clothes in the closet/dresser or box them up to deal with post-inspection.
posted by trig at 5:47 AM on August 14 [7 favorites]
Don't do this now.
tell yourself "great thought, I'll do it next week."
Exactly. This is not true cleaning and organizing, it's emergency fast set design for optics--like when you're in your first post-college apartment and your mom suddenly announces she's in town and wants to drop by to see your place. You make the bed and pull the top sheet down to the floor like a bed skirt so you can push the piles of crap on the bedroom floor under the bed, throw away the beer can pyramid in the living room, shove all the dirty dishes into the oven, light a candle that smells like chocolate chip cookies, and put on a big June Cleaver smile to greet your mom. You don't have time to sort, organize, and label. Organization means decisions; decisions eat time. You don't have time. So beyond "is this or is this not trash," defer decisions as much as possible.
After the landlord leaves, open one box or tub at a time and start making all the time sucking decisions and labeling everything for easy unpacking in the new house. The boxes/tubs will be useful in the move, and then when you get to your new place you can joyfully jettison them and free yourself forever from bins, because as everyone has said, binliving blows. Except for things like seasonal clothes, Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, and party/craft supplies--stuff you use every year but not frequently--everything should be in drawers and on shelves.
posted by Don Pepino at 6:46 AM on August 14 [3 favorites]
tell yourself "great thought, I'll do it next week."
Exactly. This is not true cleaning and organizing, it's emergency fast set design for optics--like when you're in your first post-college apartment and your mom suddenly announces she's in town and wants to drop by to see your place. You make the bed and pull the top sheet down to the floor like a bed skirt so you can push the piles of crap on the bedroom floor under the bed, throw away the beer can pyramid in the living room, shove all the dirty dishes into the oven, light a candle that smells like chocolate chip cookies, and put on a big June Cleaver smile to greet your mom. You don't have time to sort, organize, and label. Organization means decisions; decisions eat time. You don't have time. So beyond "is this or is this not trash," defer decisions as much as possible.
After the landlord leaves, open one box or tub at a time and start making all the time sucking decisions and labeling everything for easy unpacking in the new house. The boxes/tubs will be useful in the move, and then when you get to your new place you can joyfully jettison them and free yourself forever from bins, because as everyone has said, binliving blows. Except for things like seasonal clothes, Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, and party/craft supplies--stuff you use every year but not frequently--everything should be in drawers and on shelves.
posted by Don Pepino at 6:46 AM on August 14 [3 favorites]
I was planning to say much the same thing as trig. Categorising stuff and putting it in correctly labelled boxes is absolutely what you want to be doing, but not right now, because that process means things get worse before they get better, and you do not want to be at any risk of the status still being "worse" when the landlord arrives.
Get boxes. Fling stuff in boxes. Listen to a podcast or an audio book or a musical soundtrack or something while you're doing this, so that your thoughts have somewhere to go that isn't "ooh, this is where that roll of tape went, I wonder where I put the other roll of tape I bought when I couldn't find this one, what was it I needed tape for that time, oh right, I should go and tape that thing up... oh, thinking of tapes, I bet we still have that box of CDs knocking about somewhere, I should go find it and take it to Goodwill..." and so on.
Stack the boxes up tidily and label them with landlord-friendly labels (WINTER CLOTHES, COMPUTER CABLES, SPARE BEDDING, CRAFT SUPPLIES...) - which will have nothing to do with what's in the boxes! You're going for appearances right now! Maybe put a BOX ROOM sign on the door, if you're allowed to put signs on doors. Then close the door, and then do what you need to do in the rest of the apartment, which if you're like me will turn out to take exactly five minutes longer than the time remaining.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 6:47 AM on August 14
Get boxes. Fling stuff in boxes. Listen to a podcast or an audio book or a musical soundtrack or something while you're doing this, so that your thoughts have somewhere to go that isn't "ooh, this is where that roll of tape went, I wonder where I put the other roll of tape I bought when I couldn't find this one, what was it I needed tape for that time, oh right, I should go and tape that thing up... oh, thinking of tapes, I bet we still have that box of CDs knocking about somewhere, I should go find it and take it to Goodwill..." and so on.
Stack the boxes up tidily and label them with landlord-friendly labels (WINTER CLOTHES, COMPUTER CABLES, SPARE BEDDING, CRAFT SUPPLIES...) - which will have nothing to do with what's in the boxes! You're going for appearances right now! Maybe put a BOX ROOM sign on the door, if you're allowed to put signs on doors. Then close the door, and then do what you need to do in the rest of the apartment, which if you're like me will turn out to take exactly five minutes longer than the time remaining.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 6:47 AM on August 14
I'll start to load the dishwasher
Ha yeah ok for this when you're doing a task, say it out loud to yourself constantly the whole time until it's done.
dishes dishes dishes dishes
See something else in your eyeline to go do? No you fucking don't.
DISHES DISHES DISHES
My dogs are a big distraction for me. I'll be doing a sweep of the rooms to gather laundry and one of my boys will be sitting there so cute and inviting, what am I supposed to do about that? But if I'm saying LAUNDRY LAUNDRY I'll only be able to give a few little snuggles before getting back to it. Dogs are still there when I'm finished.
posted by phunniemee at 7:10 AM on August 14 [4 favorites]
Ha yeah ok for this when you're doing a task, say it out loud to yourself constantly the whole time until it's done.
dishes dishes dishes dishes
See something else in your eyeline to go do? No you fucking don't.
DISHES DISHES DISHES
My dogs are a big distraction for me. I'll be doing a sweep of the rooms to gather laundry and one of my boys will be sitting there so cute and inviting, what am I supposed to do about that? But if I'm saying LAUNDRY LAUNDRY I'll only be able to give a few little snuggles before getting back to it. Dogs are still there when I'm finished.
posted by phunniemee at 7:10 AM on August 14 [4 favorites]
I have exactly the same issues and I also have ADHD. Maybe you do, maybe not. A buddy once encouraged me to pick a spot, any spot, for cleaning/organizing. Tidy that spot, he said, and then move clockwise and just clean (or organise) you way around the room. I found that helpful. Especially while listening to a podcast or music. (I also make lots of lists.)
Your landlord sounds like a pill who will be cranky regardless of how much effort y'all put in. If that is true, if there is no way to make this person happy, I encourage you to do less rather than more. Especially since you will be moving out. I would put the puppy-sized jacuzzi and sauna away, and tidy the stacks in your storage room, and make sure there is no trash around. Clean kitchen counters, make the bed, and call it a day.
Because living in your own home, as you describe it, is not a crime. That guy will probably growl at you for something but it sounds like that is his nature and not because you have done anything wrong. Moving sucks. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 7:27 AM on August 14
Your landlord sounds like a pill who will be cranky regardless of how much effort y'all put in. If that is true, if there is no way to make this person happy, I encourage you to do less rather than more. Especially since you will be moving out. I would put the puppy-sized jacuzzi and sauna away, and tidy the stacks in your storage room, and make sure there is no trash around. Clean kitchen counters, make the bed, and call it a day.
Because living in your own home, as you describe it, is not a crime. That guy will probably growl at you for something but it sounds like that is his nature and not because you have done anything wrong. Moving sucks. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 7:27 AM on August 14
I just realized this is the landlord who gave you three months' notice to leave back in January. And who may decide to take you to court because it's August, and you don't want to bolster his case.
Your focus right now should be 100% on making the place look very well-tended and like you're working hard on leaving. 0% on selecting a theoretically optimal organization system for yourself. That is itself a distraction.
posted by trig at 7:34 AM on August 14 [3 favorites]
Your focus right now should be 100% on making the place look very well-tended and like you're working hard on leaving. 0% on selecting a theoretically optimal organization system for yourself. That is itself a distraction.
posted by trig at 7:34 AM on August 14 [3 favorites]
Also - definitely DEFINITELY utilize a body double!!
They can be virtual or in person, but they are people you conscript to keep you company and (inadvertently) hold you accountable.
A body double could be a friend who comes over and actively helps / supervises / intervenes when you start trying to optimize too much.
It could also be a rando on discord or Metafilter PM that checks in with you at 1 hour increments - “hey how’s it going? Staying on top of keeping it simple and flinging things in boxes?”
It could be a family member that you stay on the phone with for a 1 hour cleaning blitz and they don’t even know they’re a body double. (But having the focus and time boundary of the call means you stay on track)
It could be a partner or roommate chilling in the room in which you’re flinging things into boxes.
It can be anything in between that. Just someone to help organize your cadence of work and keep you on track by virtue of knowing you’re going to “report back in” to them and/or for whatever ADHD magical reason, being around a person in some way makes it easier to do the work.
posted by seemoorglass at 9:35 AM on August 14 [2 favorites]
They can be virtual or in person, but they are people you conscript to keep you company and (inadvertently) hold you accountable.
A body double could be a friend who comes over and actively helps / supervises / intervenes when you start trying to optimize too much.
It could also be a rando on discord or Metafilter PM that checks in with you at 1 hour increments - “hey how’s it going? Staying on top of keeping it simple and flinging things in boxes?”
It could be a family member that you stay on the phone with for a 1 hour cleaning blitz and they don’t even know they’re a body double. (But having the focus and time boundary of the call means you stay on track)
It could be a partner or roommate chilling in the room in which you’re flinging things into boxes.
It can be anything in between that. Just someone to help organize your cadence of work and keep you on track by virtue of knowing you’re going to “report back in” to them and/or for whatever ADHD magical reason, being around a person in some way makes it easier to do the work.
posted by seemoorglass at 9:35 AM on August 14 [2 favorites]
The landlord is building a legal case against you and will use this as evidence. This is not the time for developing a new organization system, especially with your probable ADHD. Starting NOW, put everything into moving boxes, clean the whole place and spend any extra time before the inspection looking for a new place to live.
posted by gakiko at 11:32 PM on August 14 [3 favorites]
posted by gakiko at 11:32 PM on August 14 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks, you all. We got a lot more boxes and I did a successful preliminary sorting of the room to make sure at least all the things we use on a daily basis are accessible and clearly labeled. Now I've switched to delaying decisions and instead just making things look good, one room at a time. It's actually going really well.
I appreciate your suggested categories, as well as the reminder that chaos boxes can be dealt with later and that it's fine, right now, to keep things instead of making decluttering decisions.
Labeling for equitable labour is an awesome point. Also, it makes so much sense that distracting my mind will keep me more focussed. Thanks for that explanation.
(Yes, I know the landlord is gathering evidence. I'm pretty optimistic that he won't find anything to legitimately complain about. We've been careful with the apartment, and we haven't lived here very long. Also, great idea! I'm definitely going to make the house smell like cookies, we still have some dough in the freezer. Maybe that will calm everyone down).
posted by toucan at 1:31 PM on August 15 [2 favorites]
I appreciate your suggested categories, as well as the reminder that chaos boxes can be dealt with later and that it's fine, right now, to keep things instead of making decluttering decisions.
Labeling for equitable labour is an awesome point. Also, it makes so much sense that distracting my mind will keep me more focussed. Thanks for that explanation.
(Yes, I know the landlord is gathering evidence. I'm pretty optimistic that he won't find anything to legitimately complain about. We've been careful with the apartment, and we haven't lived here very long. Also, great idea! I'm definitely going to make the house smell like cookies, we still have some dough in the freezer. Maybe that will calm everyone down).
posted by toucan at 1:31 PM on August 15 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: In case anyone is curious: The inspection went really well. Even though things did take longer than expected, our place looked great in the end. Even the storage room was neatly organized with labeled boxes and freshly cleaned.
The landlord was awful, as usual. I believe all of his statements were sarcastic and/or mean. He came in saying "So we get to finally see this place again, isn't that nice?" He then walked around and seemed to get annoyed at the order, snarking "So that's what the apartment looks like after a full week of tidying." He has a point. We did clean up a lot. But still, who says that in what is, essentially, a business relationship? I didn't mention that I've seen his apartment, and I know about the back rooms there. This guy likes to save everything in case it comes in handy, meaning his lesser-used rooms are full of random stuff. There's a toilet sitting behind some bushes in the yard, so...I'm not sure how much judging he can really do in this matter.
The actual inspection lasted just a little over five minutes. He then insisted on digging up old grievances and berating us, but we all mostly listened and let him talk himself out, only negating outright wrong statements. After thirty minutes, he finally left. What a relief. Thanks again for your support, I barely freaked out at all. Whenever I felt like I might, I ate some ice cream instead. Highly recommend!
posted by toucan at 4:10 AM on September 1
The landlord was awful, as usual. I believe all of his statements were sarcastic and/or mean. He came in saying "So we get to finally see this place again, isn't that nice?" He then walked around and seemed to get annoyed at the order, snarking "So that's what the apartment looks like after a full week of tidying." He has a point. We did clean up a lot. But still, who says that in what is, essentially, a business relationship? I didn't mention that I've seen his apartment, and I know about the back rooms there. This guy likes to save everything in case it comes in handy, meaning his lesser-used rooms are full of random stuff. There's a toilet sitting behind some bushes in the yard, so...I'm not sure how much judging he can really do in this matter.
The actual inspection lasted just a little over five minutes. He then insisted on digging up old grievances and berating us, but we all mostly listened and let him talk himself out, only negating outright wrong statements. After thirty minutes, he finally left. What a relief. Thanks again for your support, I barely freaked out at all. Whenever I felt like I might, I ate some ice cream instead. Highly recommend!
posted by toucan at 4:10 AM on September 1
He then insisted on digging up old grievances and berating us
I am very glad for you that this temporary crisis has passed. But please don't let it trick you into thinking you are not still in crisis.
Your landlord, with whom you have an adversarial relationship, has begun the eviction process against you. Every action you take that is not in service of finding yourself and your dogs new housing is moving you one step closer to homelessness. This landlord doesn't sound to me like someone who will be kind and work with you anymore; the moment they are allowed to evict you, it's going to happen.
This inspection is just one part of a much larger crisis and your situation is urgent. I hope you're able to make serious progress to help save yourself very soon. I am very concerned for you.
posted by phunniemee at 4:43 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
I am very glad for you that this temporary crisis has passed. But please don't let it trick you into thinking you are not still in crisis.
Your landlord, with whom you have an adversarial relationship, has begun the eviction process against you. Every action you take that is not in service of finding yourself and your dogs new housing is moving you one step closer to homelessness. This landlord doesn't sound to me like someone who will be kind and work with you anymore; the moment they are allowed to evict you, it's going to happen.
This inspection is just one part of a much larger crisis and your situation is urgent. I hope you're able to make serious progress to help save yourself very soon. I am very concerned for you.
posted by phunniemee at 4:43 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
Agreed.
Take pictures or video of how the place looks all neat and organized. Hopefully you'll never need to use them.
posted by trig at 4:52 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
Take pictures or video of how the place looks all neat and organized. Hopefully you'll never need to use them.
posted by trig at 4:52 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I really (really!) appreciate your sympathy and concern. We'll definitely not be homeless, so please don't worry about that. Couldn't let that happen to the pups. There are many people who could and would take us in for a few days or weeks at a time. There are other people who can store all our stuff, if it becomes necessary. And there are crisis resources we could access, as well. There's plenty of homeless people in Germany, and it's heartbreaking and not well-managed and I hate it all. There's very little outreach going on, and shelters are overcrowded. Definitely a tragic situation.
But if you're privileged enough to know your rights, have a social network with at least a little financial stability and don't have severe/untreated mental health issues, it's not that easy to become homeless. We have many safety nets.
"The moment they are allowed to evict you, it's going to happen."
I know. But they will never be allowed to come in, throw our stuff out, and change the locks. They can never say "Get out tomorrow". Even if the court allows eviction, we are required to have at least a couple weeks to get ourselves out in an orderly manner. And we'd have many people helping us in that situation. (Now that the house is much more manageable, a very quick move seems a lot less overwhelming than before, so I really appreciate the ideas here! In retrospect, this inspection was very helpful.)
The landlord's lawyer has sent us a letter making clear that she's being given information that simply is not true. For example, to justify the son's need for our apartment, she has to explain why their current apartment is not big enough. She's submitting numbers that are at odds with all previous documents we've received. There's a blueprint attached, and three big rooms are just not on it. I'm not sure what's going on, but I think our landlord is not above some trickery. He's told us outright that there's several small structures on the property (sheds, a garage) that aren't up to code or have not been approved. In my experience, judges do not like being lied to. So I'm hopeful he might say something making clear that he's not being forthright. Our lawyer is interested in this, as well.
Yes, I'd much rather spend this time working on finding us a new home. I don't know how much of a choice we have there, though. We can't ignore letters from the court. Luckily, we're in the tenants' union and the lawyer is doing most of the work (for free).
Good thinking, I took some pictures and I'll keep them accessible.
Thanks again!
PS: If I sound like I'm blowing all this off, I'm not. I'm really very stressed about it. I'm barely sleeping and my jaw is all locked up. Sometimes I have to talk myself up to avoid a freeze response.
posted by toucan at 6:12 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
But if you're privileged enough to know your rights, have a social network with at least a little financial stability and don't have severe/untreated mental health issues, it's not that easy to become homeless. We have many safety nets.
"The moment they are allowed to evict you, it's going to happen."
I know. But they will never be allowed to come in, throw our stuff out, and change the locks. They can never say "Get out tomorrow". Even if the court allows eviction, we are required to have at least a couple weeks to get ourselves out in an orderly manner. And we'd have many people helping us in that situation. (Now that the house is much more manageable, a very quick move seems a lot less overwhelming than before, so I really appreciate the ideas here! In retrospect, this inspection was very helpful.)
The landlord's lawyer has sent us a letter making clear that she's being given information that simply is not true. For example, to justify the son's need for our apartment, she has to explain why their current apartment is not big enough. She's submitting numbers that are at odds with all previous documents we've received. There's a blueprint attached, and three big rooms are just not on it. I'm not sure what's going on, but I think our landlord is not above some trickery. He's told us outright that there's several small structures on the property (sheds, a garage) that aren't up to code or have not been approved. In my experience, judges do not like being lied to. So I'm hopeful he might say something making clear that he's not being forthright. Our lawyer is interested in this, as well.
Yes, I'd much rather spend this time working on finding us a new home. I don't know how much of a choice we have there, though. We can't ignore letters from the court. Luckily, we're in the tenants' union and the lawyer is doing most of the work (for free).
Good thinking, I took some pictures and I'll keep them accessible.
Thanks again!
PS: If I sound like I'm blowing all this off, I'm not. I'm really very stressed about it. I'm barely sleeping and my jaw is all locked up. Sometimes I have to talk myself up to avoid a freeze response.
posted by toucan at 6:12 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
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Strongly recommend you join! There are so many great tips and success stories. Almost every one I’ve seen ends with “thank you all so much for the help!!! I got through it, it was fine, the landlord didn’t care at all about the few untidy things because they had access to the structural bits. And now I’m happy because my place is clean!”
Good luck!
posted by seemoorglass at 8:01 PM on August 13 [2 favorites]