Late March vacation with early alzheimer and an eleven y.o.
July 1, 2024 1:50 PM Subscribe
I have a chance to get one family vacation in with my folks (mom has early alzheimer's) and my family (me, wife, 11 year old). Where should we go?
My mom's travel days are getting close to being behind her, I'd love to get a week or so of a trip with her and my son before she's just not there enough for it. They're in the PNW, we're in the middle of the US. The notion is we'd all meet somewhere. Time window is the last two weeks of March 2025, I'm a teacher, that's when it has to be. I really don't know where to go.
Notions we've had: A week in Belize at this place: https://www.hamanasi.com/ My folks have been there, they loved it. A week at a BnB or nice lodge somewhere scenic, Colorado? New Mexico? Good food and good chilling out is the goal.
Any and all suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks Mefites!
My mom's travel days are getting close to being behind her, I'd love to get a week or so of a trip with her and my son before she's just not there enough for it. They're in the PNW, we're in the middle of the US. The notion is we'd all meet somewhere. Time window is the last two weeks of March 2025, I'm a teacher, that's when it has to be. I really don't know where to go.
Notions we've had: A week in Belize at this place: https://www.hamanasi.com/ My folks have been there, they loved it. A week at a BnB or nice lodge somewhere scenic, Colorado? New Mexico? Good food and good chilling out is the goal.
Any and all suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks Mefites!
My family met in DC for a great vacation a few years ago, with similar characteristics as your family. We rented a house in walking distance of the Mall and went to various Smithsonian museums every day, sometimes together and sometimes splitting up. People could hang out at the house or go to the museums. I'd arranged tickets for things that needed to be figured out ahead of time, but mostly we played it by ear as people's energy levels allowed.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:04 PM on July 1 [1 favorite]
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:04 PM on July 1 [1 favorite]
If you need to decide now, I like the idea of going somewhere your mom is familiar with (Belize?). Nine months from now, she may be pretty much like she is now, but it’s possible she won’t be as up for travel. It sounds like having low stress family time is the goal, focus on easy travel for her and finding accommodation that lets y’all hang out together while having space for quiet time. A crowded tourist area sounds stressful for everyone, especially the possibility of getting separated. If you get closer to the date and she’s up for it, you can add outings, it may be more complicated to back out of things especially if your kid is excited about them.
posted by momus_window at 5:15 PM on July 1 [8 favorites]
posted by momus_window at 5:15 PM on July 1 [8 favorites]
Is there anywhere mom has always dreamed of going? Go there.
posted by shadygrove at 5:35 PM on July 1 [3 favorites]
posted by shadygrove at 5:35 PM on July 1 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Not related to the travel itinerary, but - having travelled with a person who had mild dementia - there's some easy stuff you can bring to make travel easier. When people with mild dementia travel, the unfamiliarity and departure from routine can RAMP UP dementia symptoms really rapidly so it's prudent to prepare for the worst case scenario which is probably that she gets a UTI, gets disoriented, and wanders away when you're asleep. This is not to say you shouldn't travel - but the following items may REALLY come in handy:
- For hotel room safety - small bells to hang on the doorknob of her bedroom and the main exit door - so if she tries to leave the room, you hear them jingling, and a door stop to jam inside the door to prevent late night wandering.
- A few "doorknob spinner" snap on child proof devices to prevent her from opening the exterior doors of any houses you'll be staying in.
- A couple plug in night lights to help her find the bathroom in the dark
- See if she might want to start wearing disposable absorbent briefs in the car and at night.
- Talk to her doc about getting a prescription for urinary tract infection antibiotics to bring along. Older people are super prone to UTIs and often the only symptom is that their dementia symptoms suddenly get way worse
- Get tracking tags like AirTags - one in her purse, one pinned into her jacket, and one hidden in a shoe insole. Make sure they're hard to notice / hard to remove as she might forget what they are and remove them.
- Put a card in her wallet with her name and your number
- Get an ID bracelet with her name and your number engraved in it.
- Get her a very light purse like a little fanny pack or cross body bag that just holds the bare essentials of a small wallet, ID and emergency number cards. You carry her water bottle for her - half a pound of water feels like nothing to a young person but like a millstone to an older person! Get her the purse asap so she can get used to it and it will feel like "hers" and not confuse her.
- Make sure her shoes are SUPER COMFY and supportive. Keep a warm layer handy for her, too, old people tend to be cold a lot.
Take it super easy - she may not notice or be able to articulate or predict when things are getting to be too intense for her, and remember that her usual daily routine is probably much less physically and mentally taxing than travel, new information, new locations, uncomfortable chairs, temperature changes, changing routines, etc. Make sure she drinks a ton of water and pees on a schedule. And watch her closely as she may be MUCH more tired - and sooner - than you anticipate!! But have a great trip!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:25 PM on July 1 [18 favorites]
- For hotel room safety - small bells to hang on the doorknob of her bedroom and the main exit door - so if she tries to leave the room, you hear them jingling, and a door stop to jam inside the door to prevent late night wandering.
- A few "doorknob spinner" snap on child proof devices to prevent her from opening the exterior doors of any houses you'll be staying in.
- A couple plug in night lights to help her find the bathroom in the dark
- See if she might want to start wearing disposable absorbent briefs in the car and at night.
- Talk to her doc about getting a prescription for urinary tract infection antibiotics to bring along. Older people are super prone to UTIs and often the only symptom is that their dementia symptoms suddenly get way worse
- Get tracking tags like AirTags - one in her purse, one pinned into her jacket, and one hidden in a shoe insole. Make sure they're hard to notice / hard to remove as she might forget what they are and remove them.
- Put a card in her wallet with her name and your number
- Get an ID bracelet with her name and your number engraved in it.
- Get her a very light purse like a little fanny pack or cross body bag that just holds the bare essentials of a small wallet, ID and emergency number cards. You carry her water bottle for her - half a pound of water feels like nothing to a young person but like a millstone to an older person! Get her the purse asap so she can get used to it and it will feel like "hers" and not confuse her.
- Make sure her shoes are SUPER COMFY and supportive. Keep a warm layer handy for her, too, old people tend to be cold a lot.
Take it super easy - she may not notice or be able to articulate or predict when things are getting to be too intense for her, and remember that her usual daily routine is probably much less physically and mentally taxing than travel, new information, new locations, uncomfortable chairs, temperature changes, changing routines, etc. Make sure she drinks a ton of water and pees on a schedule. And watch her closely as she may be MUCH more tired - and sooner - than you anticipate!! But have a great trip!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:25 PM on July 1 [18 favorites]
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New Orleans is really lovely in March, weather wise, and has a range of excellent food and opportunities to chill - beautiful neighborhoods to stroll through, art museums, music, etc. You'll want to be aware of when Mardi Gras falls, and keep in mind that it is a season, not just a day. Mardi Gras day will be expensive in terms of hotels (but fun!), earlier in the season is way more chill - most of the parades are very family friendly if you see them in the residential neighborhoods/avoid the French Quarter (though a few of the ones that happen later at night have a more wild vibe). Also, Cajun Country is fun, especially if you enjoy the music - and swamp tours are campy in the best way, and would no doubt be a hit with the kid.
posted by coffeecat at 2:18 PM on July 1 [1 favorite]