How to feel more comfortable not covering my acne with makeup?

June 19, 2024 10:42 AM

For years I have wanted to give myself a break from covering up my acne, but I sometimes find it hard to feel like I look nice if I don't. What are your best tips for the emotional bit (just letting go of the association between makeup and covered skin = only way to look nice) and the physical bit (what else do you do, especially if you don't wear makeup, to look nice?)?

First off I want to disclaim many a thing! I don't think there is anything wrong with makeup, and with covering up acne! And I totally understand many a side to all of this - to feeling nice and looking nice. And to people who have acne and don't wear makeup, I think you look lovely! As with many things in life, this is a personal mental block I'd like to prod at, and to get to somewhere where I feel lovely when I choose not to cover up my acne.

A few bits of maybe helpful context:

Though I'm not looking for advice on how to improve my acne, here are some details. My acne fluctuates, and is obvious but not very severe (is that makes sense?). A certain amount of uneven skintone and good handful of obvious active spots. I have (for a long time!) been keeping a very simple routine with one active thing for acne, sparingly used so as not to irritate my skin. I do a simple cleanse, moisturizer, and sunblock. At the end of the day I always cleanse (double if necessary) and moisturize. Once in a long while it will all calm down, and then it will pop up again.

I don't wear much makeup but have been in the habit of dabbing concealer (or a light bb cream) under my eyes, around my nose, and on my acne. Or, using bb cream diffusely over my whole face. (I also use mascara, some eyeliner, and tinted lip balm, but they are not included in my frustrations.) Sometimes this feels nice and works well -- other times, the whole process feels frustrating. Partway through the day it can look patchy, sometimes a bit more irritated, and (though I try not to touch my face) has worn away. Sometimes the sensation of having STUFF on my face that I'm trying not to disturb puts me in a poor mood as I'm walking out the door. There might be better products out there for me (and I have tried a good number of different ones but am reluctant to keep reading reviews and buying new products), but I feel a bit fatigued with trying to solve the venn diagram of gentle, non-irritating, nice feeling and effective ways to cover up. I like how I look with makeup but also generally like how I look without it (except... I am working on accepting how I look with acne). My intent is to explore specifically cutting out the covering up acne part of a makeup routine.

I think part of what is making this tricky, and this (!) is probably the main part of my question, is that I'm more generally working on feeling better about my appearance more generally. I've hit 30, and am in a bit of a transition period with my style. I'm realizing I would like to make my clothes and general appearance a bit nicer, but have always had a pretty casual and sometimes possibly quirky style. With the pandemic, and now still working from home, sometimes when I do go out to meet people I suddenly think "oh no! am I actually presentable or have I gotten extra extra comfy with wearing clothes that are kind-of-lived-in and that fit-ok-but-not-incredibly-well?" I'm trying to be more attentive to making sure what I have is as presentable as can be, and purchase the odd nicer piece. But this is a work in progress.

I think where I'm going with this ramble is that I probably consider makeup part of helping me elevate my overall more casual look - it's where I've traditionally put some effort in getting ready. I do wear some jewellery, and my hair is always clean. But I'm maybe realizing that I don't love to spend huge amounts of energy getting ready, but then feel a creeping sense of discomfort around whether I look and feel like I put effort in when I do go out. Maybe I need to pick a new thing that acts as a getting ready ritual and helps with the general goals of looking neat, clean, nice? I don't like doing my hair but maybe that could be it? Open to ideas here!

I would love any and all insight into feeling and looking nice, particularly with an eye to not covering up acne. Elsewhere I've found some tips and ideas about these topics, but I would really appreciate knowing more about what you all do - and any other thoughts you have. TIA!

posted by jerboa to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (25 answers total)

Response by poster: Note: I am a woman if that is helpful! Okay thank you!
posted by jerboa at 10:49 AM on June 19 [1 favorite]

I've never worn much makeup and had to give up most eye makeup after developing some recurring inflammation issues. Probably the single biggest thing I've done for myself in terms of feeling comfortable in my own skin with minimal fuss is block as much "beauty" content from my day-to-day as possible. If I'm paying attention to makeup stuff, it's drag artists and other art or theatrical makeup that lets me appreciate the art without feeling like it's any kind of effort I need to engage in personally.

So what I do to feel "done" as a casual/quirky person is put more effort into hair, jewelry and accessories. In my case, figuring out a hairstyle that looks good with minimal effort, strong glasses, and statement earrings got me through most day-to-day needs (everything has fallen by the wayside with masking and not out much at this point, though). A fun scarf, bag, or shoes can also help make a look feel more thoughtful.

When I went to a wedding recently, I styled my hair a bit, wore very sparkly jewelry and for makeup did my brows, wore a light swipe of shimmery eyeshadow, a little blush and powder, and lipstick. I wasn't the most "done" person there, but I didn't feel out of place (granted that it wasn't a very high femme crowd, though) and got lots of compliments on my necklace.

Something I don't do but that is a visible investment in looking "done" that works for some people is manicures. The rare occasion when my nails are in nice enough shape for me to feel like painting them definitely feels a bit special.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:29 AM on June 19 [6 favorites]

This is a time tax I am no longer willing to pay.

I’m in my mid-30s. A combination of the pandemic and having two kids mean I look very different than I did even 5 years ago. But I’ve gained a sense of professional and personal peace and just… confidence? Resignation? Comfort? In who I am.

Caveat: In my line of work, not wearing makeup would have no professional impact.

I don’t judge people based on their makeup or sense of style. Why would I uphold a sexist system that values appearances, when I don’t believe in it myself?

Plus, time. I don’t have a lot of it. I don’t want to waste any of it on something that doesn’t bring me joy, relaxation, or money.
posted by leedly at 12:37 PM on June 19 [6 favorites]

Context: I am a woman who has never worn makeup.

I rely on skincare, intentional haircuts, loud clothes, entertaining-to-me shoes, and my personality to feel good in a situation.

More context: I do often feel a little scruffy, but I like to think it works for my overall brand.
posted by phunniemee at 1:07 PM on June 19 [6 favorites]

I stopped wearing any makeup (except for some eyebrow pencil) when covid started and I never went back. It has been SO FREEING for me!
I do make sure I have a good haircut and my hair is clean--but I also have a wash/wear cut now. When I think of all the time I used to spend on this ...
Bottom line for me has been becoming extremely comfortable in my own skin and realizing that no one is paying as much attention to my appearance as I think they do. I also enjoy not worrying if my makeup is smearing, is my hair style affected by the weather...I love not having to think about that stuff anymore! If someone has an issue with my look, that's on them .
posted by WithWildAbandon at 1:21 PM on June 19 [5 favorites]

You’ll get a lot of no-makeup people on this site unfortunately … I love makeup and no disclaimers are needed for us. Each time I walk into Sephora I want to roll around on top of all the makeup and smear it on every part of me.

I totally understand that little bit of “sparkle” tint you’re looking for.

- first, sounds like you really need to check around for a foundation that doesn’t irritate.
- second - peace out dots for acne work crazy well, though pricy
- third, Reddit skincare addiction is great for advice

Ok the actual question
- even just mascara makes a huge difference
- same with a good moisturizer. Plump skin even if blotchy just has this healthy, lived in look you know what I mean?
- highlighter shine on cheekbones just a dab
- find pix of celebs with just washed faces. Like Anne Hathaway with full freckle. There’s a way to go about this that just looks fresh
- adopt that Jolie laide attitude - find what part of your appearance sticks out and lean into it and make it your asthetic.
- i don’t know if you’re American but it is a very American makeup approach to basically airbrush your face into Perfection. So look up makeup from other countries (France) which doesn’t lean towards that style.
- maybe view makeup as an expression not as a “fix this” ?
- beauty is an attitude ! It’s a spring in your step. Hello world here I am!
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:23 PM on June 19 [12 favorites]

A few different ideas to contemplate, combine, ignore, remix:

- statement earrings. They immediately make an outfit feel intentional, and give a conversational partner something to focus on that is near your face but not direct eye contact or staring at blemishes and beauty marks. They can be fun to shop for (especially thrifted) without worrying about sizing or a lot of the other awful shopping-as-female problems so you can get a little hunter-gatherer shiny-bauble dopamine hit without suffering a myriad of indignities.

- find a few products that focus on relieving redness, flakes, and discomfort, instead of covering anything up. This will be super dependent on your specific skin. But applying things that nourish my skin and calm inflammation can make me feel like I’m doing something to care for myself and look presentable without denying there is something I am annoyed by on my face. So for example, in a situation where a peer might do a sheer foundation and tinted powder to counteract redness and uneven skin tone on their cheeks and nose in the summer, I will dab on some aloe and pramoxine moisturizer in those spots. Or if I have a big Vesuvian zit on my chin and someone else might carefully counteract the bump with contour makeup, I might ice it to help the swelling recede and dab it with tea tree oil. There is still putting stuff on your face and paying attention to your skin and all that, but less concern about touching it and messing it up, or somehow being duplicitous, or conforming to an unattainable standard.

- have more fun with other kinds of makeup. There is a LOT of pressure to do a “full” face of makeup, like if you do one thing you somehow look incomplete or otherwise bad if you don’t have your whole face snatched. Think about the ubiquitous advice about eyebrows being all important and yet most people don’t give a fuck if their eyebrows are not conforming to the ever-changing stylish shape or type. Or how apparently a bold red lip now must include concealer edging around the shape and three different products of liner, color, and gloss. And oh god if you have a bold lip and no mascara it’s like your face is naked!!! Yaaawn. Look at images of people who do not do this. Fill your social media feeds with people who have bare skin but sometimes like a bright eyeshadow, or some interesting blush, or an unusual lip stain. Try putting on only the makeup that you think is fun or contributes to the cohesion of your outfit - do colorful graphic eyeliner that matches your top, experiment with purple lipsticks in autumn, try a gold highlight on your cheekbones to add some extra sparkle to yourself. Paint your nails fun colors that remind you of your favorite things. Basically, compartmentalize makeup into a fun fashion category, and remove it from the societal obligation category. Concealer is not like wearing pants in public. You will not be refused service if you have visible under eye circles. A pimple will not keep you from opening a bank account.

- make sure to occasionally take a step back and check that you are comparing yourself to actual people, friends and neighbors, instead of the curated, sanitized, carefully edited versions of themselves that may be online or in your mind. There are so many times that I’ve been intimidated by the idea of a person - who I’ve known for years but I just get too into my head about it - but then I find myself being handed their baby who just spat up all over them, or they have a hideous purse that clashes terribly with their outfit, or i can see a stark difference in the color of their face and their neck because of badly oxidized foundation, or any number of completely normal, average things. And then I have the chance to be nonjudgmental of them, and by extension, of myself.
posted by Mizu at 1:24 PM on June 19 [9 favorites]

Since you do wear sunscreen, perhaps a tinted sunscreen would give you enough of a makeup feeling without adding another step to your routine?
posted by feste at 1:27 PM on June 19 [5 favorites]

Maybe experiment with doing one or two things with less makeup? I also feel like a bolder lip can be fun and it’s quick and easy and (for me) makes it easier to do less elsewhere.
posted by bluedaisy at 1:41 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]

Follow acne influencers to normalize real skin to yourself, and see that people with acne are beautiful - search hashtags like "acne", "pcos", "texturedskin", "cysticacne", "acnescars" "hyperpigmentation" etc on instagram and tiktok to find people to follow.

If you have light eyebrows and eyelashes, consider getting them tinted darker! This can really help draw focus to your eyes, giving your face a more high-contrast focal point, and thus visually fading the colour contrast of blemishes and scars so they're less noticeable.

If you wear eyeglasses, getting bold statement frames in a dark or bright colour. Same principle as above - it gives the face a strong focal point, so there's much less attention on the skin texture. Also transmits an air of confidence!

If you want to wear some makeup, try a bolder eye or lip, even if you skip concealer / foundation / powder - again the colour will pull focus to those areas, so your skin isn't the focus. Even a tinted chapstick might make a difference in how you feel about your overall look.

Skin bumps tend to catch and reflect light, which makes them more noticeable. If you prevent shine, then texture isn't as visible. Experiment with sunscreen and moisturizer that have "mattifying" or "blurring" effects. And use oil-blotting sheets or even tissue to pat your face and remove oil / shine several times a day. More matte skin also tends to read as more "polished" which can help make you feel put together without makeup.

Invest in a great haircut you love that works really well with your hair texture and is easy to maintain without too much daily hassle. The centre line of a middle part can draw a lot of focus to the forehead and skin, so parting your hair on the side rather than in the centre can be more flattering.

Take a good look at your seasonal colour palette and overall appearance and vibe, and make sure to wear clothing where the colour palette, intensity/brightness of the shades, fabric types, and contrast level of the different elements in the outfit really suit you! I think this influencer, this influencer, and this influencer have a lot of helpful tips about finding your best colours and clothing shapes to really develop your own personal style.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 1:41 PM on June 19 [5 favorites]

Now that I'm back home, to elaborate on my note of "skincare" above. For me, it was a sea change in my life when I shifted my skincare focus from "fixing problems" to doing everything possible to make my skin FEEL GOOD. Things like respecting my moisture barrier, moisturizing, finding sunscreen that felt good to wear, putting on a hydrocolloid patch so I didn't pick at zits, extremely gentle cleanser, 🐌slugging🐌. Things that kept my skin feeling as good as possible. Once I unlocked my skin's specific key to feeling good, clearer skin started to follow. I am 38 now and when I look at pictures of myself in my 20s I look so inflamed and crusty relative to what my face looks like now.
posted by phunniemee at 1:54 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]

What are your best tips for the emotional bit (just letting go of the association between makeup and covered skin = only way to look nice) and the physical bit (what else do you do, especially if you don't wear makeup, to look nice?

So I am a person who used to wear makeup and now I don't.

The surprising thing is that I get a LOT more attention for my face card now than I ever did when I put makeup on my star player. You may be surprised by the way other people respond to your beautiful face with your very typical human blemishes. In fact: when I wore makeup I received some very occasional feedback that I "look better without it" from people. Not all people think covered skin looks nice.

The other thing about a clean face is that it allows your skin to be the organ that it is without a bunch of stuff on it that may or may not be great for it. Some (many) people can use skin"care" products and makeup without upsetting their skin barrier but I am not one of those people so in my experience my skin problems totally disappeared only after I stopped using literally anything but lukewarm or cool water and gentle physical exfoliation on my face. I do still have visible pores. Because I am a human.

Things that I do to add some glamour to myself: I learned how to take good care of my hair (I also hate doing my hair so I figured out a low effort thing) and collected a stable of shiny and special hair clips and pins. I wear at least one every time I leave my house.

As many people have said: accessories!!! jewelry, shoes, purse are essential if I want to look really fancy.

And also I have been enjoying using perfume lately. I use it very sparingly but there's nothing like walking through a cloud of fabulosity on my way out the door to start me sashaying down the sidewalk like a runway.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 1:56 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]

Great hair and sunglasses.
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:13 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]

I changed jobs : I went from academia to doing physical labor. This made it pointless to wear makeup, so I stopped.

Before I changed jobs I would wear makeup almost every day. I wasn't wearing very heavy makeup, but I would do eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara. Perhaps foundation and lip color if I wanted to dress up a little, perhaps concealer to hide blemishes. The thing is, even though I felt (and still feel) very strongly about makeup not being necessary, and even though I would have said it was about personal style instead of feeling better about my looks, it was part of my routine. I felt self-conscious if I wasn't wearing it, kind of similarly to how I'd feel self-conscious about how I looked without my glasses after years of wearing them.

Not wearing makeup for a prolonged period made that feeling go away. I don't even own any makeup anymore - I didn't purge it, or anything, I just didn't wear it for a long time and it expired. I guess I would buy some if I still dressed up occasionally, but I'm kind of a homebody.

So yeah. I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of it might just be acclimation to a new routine and a new way of seeing yourself. Just going without makeup for a while can help you feel better about not wearing it.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 2:20 PM on June 19 [2 favorites]

N-thing the earrings recommendations. Picking earrings for the day and putting them in can be a new 'beauty ritual', and they'll conveniently draw attention away from your acne.

If it's not just about your face but general ways of looking more polished, consider wearing dresses (or skirts) if you're not doing that yet. I've started wearing dresses about half the time and now consider them more comfortable than pants. (Nothing tight, no hard bits like buttons… It's great!) Somehow, people interpret it as 'making an effort for your appearance'.
posted by demi-octopus at 2:33 PM on June 19 [2 favorites]

I'm 58 so have long experience in a cis-female body. A thing I've noticed is that things that might be "flaws" about myself don't bother me if I'm not self-conscious about them. There have been times when something is suddenly drawn to my attention, and then it starts to bother me. For instance, I have two large-ish dark moles on my face, right in front of my ears. I've had them since I was a kid. Each has a couple of hairs growing out of them. I never gave them a thought until sometime in my 30s or 40s a person cutting my hair just casually trimmed the hairs as she was working. All of a sudden, I was like, "I HAVE BIG MOLES WITH HAIR ON MY FACE!" Fortunately in that case, I was able to use cognitive behavioral techniques to stop the self-consciousness from becoming ingrained; it helped to recognize that I'd had these things for decades and they had never seemed to hold me back at all.

A more difficult one was that I have a very high forehead with a strong widow's peak. My mother considered this a major flaw, and I have strong memories of, for instance, being at a salon looking at myself in the mirror, and my mom and the stylist standing behind me, also looking at me in the mirror, saying things like, "We have to cover that forehead, absolutely." This self-consciousness was very strongly imprinted on me and, in my youth, sometimes even inhibited me from going swimming with friends because wet hair would reveal my forehead.

I don't worry about it anymore, and haven't for awhile.

One thing that has helped me change this is that other women with high foreheads who clearly just do not care at all that their foreheads are high. I have a younger friend whom I've known since she was a teenager. She's a tall, lanky, jock-style lesbian, and for as long as I've known her, she's worn her hair long and pulled back in a ponytail, as many jocky women I know do. Her forehead is as high as mine; her widow's peak as pronounced. And she just prances around with her whole forehead on display!

You're ahead of me because you already think other people with unconcealed acne look just fine. Maybe there are ways you can actively work on turning that acceptance around on yourself?

Another thing that has helped me has been to very consciously not think about my forehead. Months and years of not letting myself complete a thought if I'm starting to think something disparaging about my forehead, or if I catch myself fiddling with my hair to try to cover more of it, I stop myself, and say a few quick affirmations or otherwise direct my thoughts elsewhere.

The widow's peak has always meant very sparse bangs, so my bang-wearing years were kind of like the forehead equivalent of a bald-man's combover: I often felt that it signaled my discomfort and self-consciousness while doing very little, if anything at all, to hide my forehead itself. This also helped: realizing that my forehead can't be hidden, and that the best way to present myself to the world was with confidence, as if I did not give a rip about my forehead. Confidence is a big part of carrying anything off. Like some other people in this thread, I'm a quirky, colorful dresser, a low-maintenance femme, and I have a great haircut lately that gets me almost daily compliments (this is not an easy thing to achieve; I'm very lucky in my stylist and in my hair texture right now).

Remember that people are looking at the whole you, not just at your acne. When I'm self-conscious about something, I imagine everyone else is also focused on it. "Oh, here comes that inseparable duo: Su and her forehead!" But I hold onto what a therapist said to me almost 40 years ago when I was beginning to deal with an almost crippling self-consciousness: "Su, nobody is paying that much attention to you."

Good luck! It's a journey that took me awhile to accomplish, but you can totally do this.
posted by Well I never at 2:47 PM on June 19 [5 favorites]

If the sensation of having STUFF on your face bothers you, there is no need to do it. You're viewing make-up as a cover-up tool primarily, but a cover-up tool that feels uncomfortable and doesn't perform to your satisfaction. I think it's a great idea to experiment with going out with just moisturiser and sunscreen on and see how that feels.

I love make-up! But ever since I started viewing it as something to have fun with rather than a corrective (to, e.g., disguise my under-eye circles or cover up hyper-pigmentation or acne scars), I have found it much more fun and rewarding. So I never cover up my under-eye circles, but I have fun with bold eyeliner. And I don't bother putting on foundation or concealer, but I will just put on a bright lipstick or bright blush. I never personally go with a full beat, but I like putting one high impact item of make-up on my face.

In terms of feeling like you look nice more generally, YMMV but these are what work for me, a 40+ year old woman:
- A good haircut
- Well groomed eyebrows (I"m religious about this and it makes a huge difference to how I feel)
- Clothes that fit well and fall right
- As explained above, one or two key bits of make-up that make me feel good.
posted by unicorn chaser at 4:08 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]

Have you been to a dermatologist? Just wondering, as "acne" in my 30s turned out to be rosacea. Tips from my doctor and the occasional use of a prescription cream have made a big difference. Also, as someone with very deep-set eyes and short lashes that go blonde almost immediately, I love indulging in lash serum. Between that and sometimes a lash curler and/or tubing mascara, I feel much less like a mole when I get gussied up.
posted by kate4914 at 4:13 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]

Along with jewelry, sunglasses, nice hair... I sometimes try to channel European looks and add a (often silk, but sometimes more casual fabrics) scarf.
posted by ldthomps at 6:54 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]

Former makeup wearer here. I stopped using most of it when I realised that I actually looked worse with a full face of makeup than I did with bare skin. Instead, I focused on simple skin care and feel a lot happier for it. My skin is healthier and feels so much better (despite menopause giving me acne now and again for the hell of it). I do sometimes still wear a bit of makeup but it's absolutely minimal - brows, maybe eyeliner, and sometimes a bold lip. I'm slowly weaning off getting eyebrows and eyelashes tinted - it's no longer worth the bother. I stopped dying my hair years ago and currently rock a short Bride of Frankenstein pixie cut sort of thing. It's easy to style and requires minimal maintenance, and that's pretty much my mantra for everything these days, including clothing (for example I can't remember the last time I've ironed anything!). Getting away from fashion and making myself a sort of elder hippie boho capsule wardrobe was HUGE in making me feel confident in my own style - I'm all about putting bright floaty scarves and kimono jackets over mostly black comfortable clothing.

As people have already stated, part of being happy in your skin is (I think) understanding that a lot of the media is lying to you about how people really look. Wish you looked like celebrity X? I bet celebrity X wishes that too, because they've been photoshopped to hell and back before it gets published. My own opinion is that the more I cut myself away from consuming toxic media of any sort, the happier in my own body I became - weight, wrinkles, grey hair and all - and part of it was just the confidence that came with getting older and not having the energy to continue giving a fuck about other peoples opinions. That said, people think about you wayyyyyyyy less than you think about you.
posted by ninazer0 at 7:27 PM on June 19 [5 favorites]

For the ritual part, I agree with the others that it could be accessorizing. I have always been a light makeup wearer, and I’m upping my sartorial game lately, but the biggest difference in how “put together” I feel is accessories. That includes shoes, jewelry, and sometimes glasses/sunglasses. I’m not a bag person but a nice handbag is another touch for a lot of people. If you got a few, moving your things to the bag that goes best with your outfit for the day could be a nice ritual.

For the getting used to your own face part, that just takes time. I have really dark undereye circles that don’t go away, ever. When I wear concealer under my eyes consistently, suddenly I feel like I look so awful and tired without it. But I went for a year not wearing any and eventually got to the point where it looked and felt totally normal! Really if you think about it it’s strange that people think there should be no depth on your face ever; I legitimately hate makeup looks that completely fill in the undereye area or make it too bright.

I’ve recently started getting some sort of acne or something on the apples of my cheeks, after decades of clear skin (I’m 48) and I’m not covering it at all, so I know how that feels. I guess I just think about how little I notice stuff like that on other people in my day to day life, and figure it’s the same in reverse. I don’t love it when I see myself in the mirror, but my concern is honestly more about figuring out what is suddenly happening to my skin and less how it looks. I still wear all my other makeup - brows, eyeshadow, mascara, blush, and sometimes even bronzer. I just don’t conceal the acne (and I’m not an everyday foundation gal.)

Good luck. A lot of this stuff is less about the ‘one weird trick’ and more about getting used to your own face sans “correction” (ugh) in the mirror — which just takes time.
posted by misskaz at 4:34 AM on June 20 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Wow everyone - I just wanted to pop in and say thank you so so much. Reading everyone's ideas and personal experiences has completely relaxed my brain and made me excited to look at makeup and getting ready in a way that focuses on fun and personal expression. I love reading about everyone's points of view, or favourite things and ways of getting ready, or mentality about the whole thing. And all of you worded things so well, and even that has helped me look at my question in a new light. I'm already feeling more free and am looking in the mirror more kindly. Of course these things can be easier one day and harder the next but I just wanted to say thank you -- being able to look back here at the responses will be so helpful in the future too.

To the notes on derms and finding less irritating foundation:
1. I have visited a derm before but I think, in short, we did not gel - I found him unhelpful but I probably was also feeling a bit intimidated by certain treatment ideas. I am planning some upcoming doctor appts so might bring it up again! Appreciate the reminder that outside help can be very helpful!
2. I think there is probably a foundation out there that won't irritate me - ! Maybe I can research more, and use reddit, to keep my eyes out for better options in the background while I take a break. And try to keep it a fun way to learn more instead of a must-do in order to buy and apply.

Thank you again everyone, I feel so comforted and emboldened. Wishing you all much ease and comfort too!

And if anyone comments after this, all applies to you too:))
posted by jerboa at 8:16 AM on June 20 [7 favorites]

I've been thinking about this too -- I don't get much acne, and the the older I get, the more I dislike having Stuff on my face. But I feel weird not having some concealer (on the zits and under my eyes) and powder and mascara.
posted by maryellenreads at 10:57 AM on June 20 [1 favorite]

There is a lot of talk in makeup circles about "doing more to do less" and I am a fan of this school of thought. I wax and dye my brows, and also tint my lashes. I also do my nails in a natural, neutral pink.

If I have all of that shit together, I do feel polished and pulled together when bare faced and I feel like the once a month investment really pays off.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:49 PM on June 20 [2 favorites]

How about easing into this? Spend a few weeks/ months skipping cover-up for situations which feel the lowest stress to you, and gradually expand. For example, once it feels normal not to wear it to the grocery store, it may feel more comfortable to skip it on work days which don't have meetings. Once that feels comfortable, see if it feels okay to go without on a higher pressure day.
posted by metasarah at 2:20 PM on June 20 [1 favorite]