I think want to adopt another cat. Should I? Can I?

June 18, 2024 9:32 AM

I have a 14 year old cat. My dog died in March and I think she is lonely. However, I have no idea how she would do with another cat. Also, she eats prescription food free-form and I don't know how to keep another cat from eating her special food. I don't want to cause her stress or get her ill from another cat. Any thoughts?
posted by Saucywench to Pets & Animals (18 answers total)

Yes, you should adopt another cat. You'd be saving the life of a cat who might otherwise have been euthanized (I assume you're going to adopt from a shelter or rescue group?). A few things to keep in mind:

Try to find a cat that has successfully cohabitated with other cats in the past. Since your cat is 14 years old, probably an older, calm cat (not a kitten) would be best.

Introduce the two cats gradually. Keep the new cat in a separate room initially, and allow them to get used to each other's scent by swapping bedding or toys. Gradually allow supervised face-to-face interactions, and separate them if there are signs of aggression.

Managing feeding times can be a bit tricky. To keep the new cat from eating your senior cat's prescription food, consider feeding them in separate rooms or at different times. You can also try using a microchip-activated feeder that only opens for your senior cat's microchip. See this feeder, for example:

https://www.amazon.com/Sure-Petcare-SureFlap-Selective-Automatic-Stress-Free/dp/B00O0UIPTY

Ensure each cat has its own litter box, food and water bowls, and sleeping areas to minimize stress and potential conflicts.

Remember that every cat is different, and it may take time and patience for your senior cat to adjust to a new companion.
posted by alex1965 at 9:44 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

I'm just going to chime in to say that I own a pair of exactly those SureFlap bowls and they're phenomenal for keeping our two cats' food separate while allowing each to graze freely.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:46 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]

Yes to all of the above. EXCEPT. We tried the SureFlap bowl because we had cat-sat in other households that used it successfully. And our cat Baby would just brute-force her head in to Smokey's dish as it was closing and shove the flap back. However, Baby was on a diet because she was so overweight she had trouble walking, so she was exceptionally food-driven at the time. But it is something to keep in mind if your new cat needs to be on a weight-control diet.
posted by rednikki at 9:51 AM on June 18

Yes! Older cats might accept a dumb little kitten easier than a grown cat, and sometimes the elder can "show the ropes" to a younger one.
posted by tiny frying pan at 9:51 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

We have an older cat (about to turn 15) who was used to living with another cat who sadly passed away earlier this year. As the older cat is pretty lazy at this point, we didn't want to just get another kitten who would probably be more rambunctious than he was up for.

So we wound up adopting two younger (but adult) cats, both around 7 years old, that previously lived together. The two of them play together and mostly leave the older guy alone, but they get along well enough, don't fight, and while they aren't necessarily cuddly, he's happy to be in the same room with them.

The food thing we handle via feedings in separate rooms, with the two new guys getting fed together.
posted by thecaddy at 9:57 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Could you foster a kitten or kittens? That would give you an out, in case your older cat isn't amenable.
posted by Dashy at 10:31 AM on June 18 [7 favorites]

Foster with option to adopt.
That way you will have an honorable way to remove the new kitty if your senior gal isn't up to the change in her lifestyle.
Be upfront that your cat's needs are the priority.

Get solid information about the risks and benefits in fostering a cat on its way to its forever home. Talk with someone who has worked with the organization as a foster sitter.
And good luck. Hopefully you will have a wonderful addition to your family!
posted by TrishaU at 10:31 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

Oh, gosh, am I the only person who thinks it might be super stressful for the older cat to have another cat come into the home right now? I am an animal and cat fan, but I have also known of cats who really did not like having another cat introduced. Maybe the new cat was introduced wrong?

If you're going to do this, it seems wise to go the two-cat (two kitten?) route, or else you'll end up in the same situation down the road.

(Also, apologies if I'm the asshole here, but it's okay if it's you that's lonely. What does a senior cat being lonely look like?)
posted by bluedaisy at 11:05 AM on June 18 [14 favorites]

Check with your vet. Depending on the type of prescription food, it may be okay for an older cat to also eat or at least not a problem if they occasionally get into it
posted by RonButNotStupid at 11:11 AM on June 18

I generally think it's almost always better to have multiple cats. However, we recently introduced a young cat (6 months old) into a two cat household (there had been 3 cats and a dog, then we lost one cat and the dog about two years apart) and we were very surprised by their reactions. We thought for sure the younger cat (7 years old) would have a problem with a new kitty; turns out it was the older one (12 years old). I think if he had been maybe a few years younger he would have been fine but it's been....an adjustment. And it hasn't been peaceful. We think we're on the upswing but we anticipate that it'll be a year at least until they're even close to being friends.
posted by cooker girl at 11:12 AM on June 18

Response by poster: I think she might be lonely because she's been very vocal and attention seeking since he died. She had a full workup at the vet since because I was worried and there's no physical reason for her meowing. They got along but weren't friends, so I don't know.

I don't want to adopt a dog because it's just me and being single with a dog can be hard. Plus my last dog was wonderful but became reactive and I can't go through that again so I'm afraid to.

I had no idea about the microchip to keep food secure!
posted by Saucywench at 11:28 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Older female cats can be grumpy about new additions, but some of them will take to a new cat or kitten. My suggestion is a young boy as I've been told (and seen in action) that adding cats in opposite sex configurations works best.
posted by PussKillian at 11:42 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Poor kitty, and poor you. That does sound stressful. I'd say to give it a bit more time and also consider reading up on the process of introducing a second cat. It takes some work and isn't always successful.

We introduced a second cat, a kitten, to our house when our older cat was about a year old (she had been with us since she was a little kitten too). My older teen kid did most of the work, but it does require keeping them separate for a while and introducing them slowly. This typically means you need to have two spaces available, with two feeding stations, two litter boxes, etc. A good friend of mine also introduced a new cat, a kitten, when her older cat was maybe 4-5. She's single and lives alone and found it incredibly stressful to keep the cats separate and manage her emotions when the cats didn't get along at first (she thought her older cat would quickly welcome a kitten and was super stressed when that didn't happen).

In both our households, the younger cats and older cats did eventually get along just fine. My two play together. But it's not quite like having a bonded pair of cats.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:46 AM on June 18

Has your cat ever been around other cats? If not, take her to a place where there are cats so you can judge her reaction before you commit to anything.
posted by credulous at 12:23 PM on June 18

Some cats will quickly take to a new addition, some will take a long time, and some will never get along. It can depend on the precise chemistry between the cats.

So what I'm saying is, you can't be sure until you try. This could be extremely stressful for your senior cat. Or it could go well! You don't know. Whatever you do: Have a plan for if it doesn't work out.

I like the idea of fostering with the intent to adopt, or another situation like that.

Just recently, I spent six months trying to introduce a new cat into my house. I failed and had to surrender the new cat to a rescue. I'm an experienced cat owner and I know all the professional advice. I did everything that I could, and I had successfully introduced a new cat into the house before. I went into it feeling optimistic and but ultimately had to admit it wasn't meant to be. Luckily, none of the cats were seniors and none seemed too stressed out unless they could see each other.

This new cat was one that was abandoned by my neighbors and that I already knew, so it was give her a chance with me and then give her to a rescue, or give her to a rescue directly. If this had been a cat I had intentionally gone out to adopt, rather than one that came to me through circumstances knowing it might be temporary, I would have felt pretty bad, like I was breaking a promise. But it wasn't that type of situation so I didn't have to deal with that guilt when making the final decision to give up the new cat.

(And the new cat found a home.)
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 12:47 PM on June 18 [3 favorites]

I'm going to go against the tide and advise against getting another cat. Unless your cat was besties with your dog, it seems unlikely to me that being vocal and attention seeking equates to loneliness. Is she searching around your home looking for the departed dog? Did they interact much? Snuggle? Play together? It seems more likely that she wants more human attention/interaction from you, and perhaps something about your dog's presence/habits prevented her from speaking up about it. Or, yanno, cats sometimes just get more vocal and needy when they get old.

I'm not saying it's never the case that a cat just wants a little friend, or that multiple cats all like each other and coexist peacefully and positively. But in my observation it's wishful thinking and anthropomorphizing more often than not, and the cats have a relationship that's closer to antagonism than friendship most of the time. I've known of many instances (including in my own home) in which a pair of cats seemed to get along for the most part, and yet when one cat passed away the other positively blossomed in the newly stress-free environment.
posted by slkinsey at 12:52 PM on June 18 [7 favorites]

Do you want another cat? You don't say, and that absolutely gets to be part of the equation here.

I don't think it's obvious that another cat will be the solution to your current cat being more vocal and demanding (I have an increasingly vocal and demanding 15-year-old cat, and she wants human attention specifically). A possible outcome of adopting another cat is two vocal, demanding cats vying for your attention. If you do want to try, foster-to-adopt sounds like a good idea.
posted by momus_window at 1:33 PM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: So after reading the above, I think I'm not going to bring another cat in. My cat is kinda prissy and likes things "just so" (her nickname is Sassy because she is sassy). She's never been around other cats since I adopted her as a tiny kitten from the shelter. She might not be lonely and just wants attention. I don't want another cat per se, I just want her happy. I'll keep her as an only cat until she passes then maybe adopt a bonded pair. Or foster. Wish I could pay the cat tax but I don't have an online pic of her :(
posted by Saucywench at 2:30 PM on June 18 [8 favorites]