Oh, another meditation question

December 8, 2023 8:18 PM

Perhaps some version of this gets asked a lot. I feel like meditation would probably do me some good. I often tell people to try it. I find myself bouncing off it really hard. Would an app help?

I don't want little lessons. I don't want things gamefied. I have a vague idea what would help is sound and maybe narrative. I once did a meditation just with singing bowls but in a setting where someone else was kind of timing it and somehow in charge. If I tell myself to sit silently and direct my thoughts back to my breath, there is not a chance I'll stick with it.

Any recs? I just want to quiet the idiot voice within.

posted by less-of-course to Grab Bag (15 answers total)

I find the Calm app offers a wide range of options for guided and less -guided meditations, including daily offerings from several narrators.
posted by knile at 8:24 PM on December 8, 2023 [3 favorites]

If you want to play around with just sound, mynoise has a lot of options.

I also like Marconi Union's album Weightless for mediating and it has some drone and chime elements that might be appealing if you liked singing bowls.
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:18 PM on December 8, 2023 [2 favorites]

You might find this article helpful How to Meditate when you can't sit still

I myself found this guided meditation very helpful. It's straightforward instruction without any flakiness. And the narrator has a really kind voice.
posted by Zumbador at 9:36 PM on December 8, 2023 [4 favorites]

If you would be good with just sound as long as someone else was occasionally giving your reminders and tracking the time, look at the options with Insight Timer (even at the free level of the free app). You could set up to have background sound plus a distinctive sound that goes off at the interval of your choice and then a different sound to signal the end.
posted by metahawk at 10:08 PM on December 8, 2023 [5 favorites]

I find myself bouncing off it really hard.

Bouncing off it is kind of an essential part of it, in my view.

The practice is the thing that has value. Trying to figure out ahead of time what will probably make the practice feel easier just misses the point.

I recommend going into it expecting to bounce off it, with the aim of noticing when your resolve to sit quietly for a full minute gets interrupted by some thought telling you that you shouldn't, or that it doesn't matter, or I hate this, or just for today I'm too busy or whatever the fuck, then just quietly returning your attention to the process of getting set to sit for a full minute.

Once you've practised actually sitting for a full minute to the point where you're doing it regularly, you can move onto sitting for two minutes.

Your guide as to when to move on should have much more to do with whether you're actually doing the thing than how you expect to react to the thing or what you think about the thing or how you feel about or during the thing.
posted by flabdablet at 10:54 PM on December 8, 2023 [12 favorites]

The Sam Harris Waking Up app is really good. In his guided meditations, he’ll include cues such as “if you find you’re lost in thought…” that bring your focus back to whatever the meditation is about. Having done these meditations for almost 6 months, I find that my mind is getting a little quieter during the sessions. You can also choose background music/sounds for the sessions.
posted by crLLC at 5:18 AM on December 9, 2023 [3 favorites]

I really like Body Scan meditation. This is a good guided one on Youtube.
posted by entropyiswinning at 7:00 AM on December 9, 2023 [2 favorites]

You can help still yourself by progressively relaxing your muscles. With every exhale, consciously relax your toes by feeling the energy depart as you exhale. do ascending body parts.
You can also choose a mantra and repeat it.
There are a lot of articles about how to meditate. Overthinking it is one reason it's hard for you. Just start.
posted by theora55 at 7:14 AM on December 9, 2023 [1 favorite]

I have also had a hard time getting into meditation even though it seems like something that would benefit me. If you are interested in in-person instruction for beginners in a very low key setting Shambhala is a type of organized meditation that is highly recommended for being very approachable for beginners. From the main site it looks like they also have several online options as well.

https://shambhala.org/meditation/learn-to-meditate/
posted by forkisbetter at 9:35 AM on December 9, 2023

I started with the Headspace app and liked it, but I’ve since switched to Ten Percent Happier, and I think it’s really good. They have meditations and short videos by some really great and preeminent teachers. (These might fall into the category of “little lessons” that you don’t want…but I think they’re useful and interesting and not annoying!) Dan Harris, the guy who runs Ten Percent Happier, also has a couple of books you might like—Ten Percent Happier (about his own experience discovering meditation) and Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics (basically what it sounds like from the title!).
posted by bijoubijou at 10:03 AM on December 9, 2023

If all you need is sound, try music. This Yin Yoga teacher curates Spotify playlists for his classes that might fit the bill. Start with sitting for one song.
posted by shock muppet at 10:59 AM on December 9, 2023

I've been trying out the Balance app after someone recommended it here on AskMeFi. It teaches you different ways to meditate, in guided lessons, so you're not stuck just focusing on your breath (I mean, yeah, you do that too, but not just that). You can choose the length of these guided meditations/lessons, so they can be as short as 5 minutes. The narrator guides you through the meditation/lesson, but also leaves you to practice on your own.

I find that having a focus on a particular skill is much better than just trying hard to focus on my breathing (which immediately causes my breathing to become very weird, and then I start hyperventilating). They had some kind of a deal where you could get a year-long trial, so I'm still using that.
posted by gakiko at 12:44 PM on December 9, 2023 [1 favorite]

Healthy Minds helped me reframe distraction and greatly improved my ability to concentrate and my capacity for mindfulness. It is free too, so give it a try.
posted by munchingzombie at 3:34 PM on December 9, 2023

Perhaps you would prefer meditation on a mantra or phrase instead of the breath. You can notice when you’re fully paying attention to the mantra vs giving it lip service while thinking something else.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:29 AM on December 10, 2023

There's no wrong way to meditate! Try different things until you find what works for you. Different positions (sitting, laying down, standing), still or repetitive movement (rocking, bilateral tapping, rubbing -- as someone with ADD, movement really helps me focus), sound (guided meditation, music, nature sounds like rain, ocean, or stream; "theta wave" tracks or other drone noise, pink or brown noise, bells), focusing on different things (mantra, breath, body scan, a sound or image). Different things work for different people, and even the same person on different days! Sometimes when I'm having trouble settling my mind I'll try something else to see if that helps, and it often does. And sometimes it doesn't, that's OK, there's always next time. Even a minute of meditation is worthwhile. Good luck!
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:54 AM on December 11, 2023