Is there a book/resource you keep revisiting to help be your best self?

December 6, 2023 11:32 AM

I’ve been reading the book “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership”. It’s a mix of things I like and things I don’t. What feels very appealing to me is: It presents a pretty compelling set of principles which seem like they could be really helpful in just about any situation to help decide how to respond in a way aligned with your values. I’m curious if folks have books that do that for them?

I'm also curious if folks have any specific experience with that book

posted by ManInSuit to Human Relations (17 answers total)

I loved How to Be Perfect by Michael Schur. I read the audio and bought the hard cover to mark up the pages. It's basically the moral philosophy research he did for The Good Place.
posted by eekernohan at 11:43 AM on December 6, 2023 [9 favorites]

The complete works of Ursula K. LeGuin basically do this for me. Not that she was infallible, but.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:51 PM on December 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

I'm currently rereading the excellent book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy and it's one of the most insightful relationship books I've ever read, including when it comes to relating to myself. I think it's valuable even for folks who are monogamous; a friend of mine who isn't dating or interested in dating loved it too. It's incredibly helpful for me in thinking about my relationships with myself, my family, my loved ones, my friends.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:54 PM on December 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar.

It really helped me reassess my priorities and values. I liked that it had practical exercises to put into place real life changes.
posted by Blissful at 12:57 PM on December 6, 2023

This kind of book is a sort of specialty for Gretchen Rubin, if she's someone you vibe with.
posted by box at 1:03 PM on December 6, 2023

"The Road Less Travelled" by Scott Peck. Here is an example of some quotes from the book, and here is just one of my favorites: “The attempt to avoid legitimate suffering lies at the root of all emotional illness.”
posted by forthright at 2:04 PM on December 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

You might want Grudin's Time and the Art of Living. Some excerpts online to get an idea.
posted by away for regrooving at 2:53 PM on December 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Lanny Bassham's With Winning in Mind is permanently on my e-reader to dip into as needed. It's not well written but has useful advice, and is the most recommended book of its type among the athletes I know. (It's about the mental aspects of sports, so could be applied more broadly than just "win the competition, get the medal.")
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:36 PM on December 6, 2023

The Discworld witches novels.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:57 PM on December 6, 2023 [7 favorites]

Tangential to Le Guin above, for a decade or so back in the day I’d regularly dip briefly into the Tao te Ching for inspiration on life and living. Over time I inculcated most of the essence of what’s there, but still occasionally open a copy at random (including Le Guin’s own version sometimes) and nearly always find something that either has me nodding in agreement/understanding or provides a needed slight shift in perspective.
posted by ClingClang at 4:49 PM on December 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

I read Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament recently and it changed my life. I don't think it ever uses the words mindfulness, attachment, or trauma but it explores ways in which one can be mindful, practice nonattachment, and heal from traumas and other experiences which cause us to be reactive and prevent us from being present.

There are a ton of books out there on this subject (I should know, I feel like I've read most of them) but this one, for some reason, helped things click in ways that others hadn't. I literally feel like a different person for having read it.

I know he has a more popular book on the same subject called The Untethered Soul, and that book spawned a deck of cards with the concepts on them, so for revisiting the concepts as you are interested in doing, that might be helpful. I'm thinking about getting those myself.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:10 AM on December 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck. It's an engaging book on the everyday, practical side of Zen Buddhism. It has a lot of relatable real-world examples. I reread it every couple of years.
posted by pangolin party at 6:08 AM on December 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Lynda Barry's Syllabus and What It Is. How to keep your mind active and creative and attentive.

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. An anti-productivity book, of sorts.

How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell - a reminder of how to be a good community member
posted by tofu_crouton at 6:29 AM on December 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

"Charlotte's Web" by E. B. White. My mother read a little bit to me every night (a very long time ago!) and this gave me a lifelong passion for reading. I keep it around & probably read it once a year or so for the beautiful descriptions of summer on a farm. And it reminds me that friendship, loyalty, & having someone's back is a real thing. (But also, somewhat sadly, that time moves on.)

I'm a bit heartbroken that this one is actually with the banned in some states these days.
posted by Wylie Kyoto at 8:34 AM on December 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

The Courage to be Disliked did this a bit for me. The format of the book is written as a conversation between a student and a teacher, discussing a specific branch of psychology. I found the format a little tedious, but it's an easy read, and at the time, it helped me gain a new perspective in how to view situations that could seem complicated or difficult.
posted by monologish at 12:52 PM on December 8, 2023

How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell
posted by hepta at 9:59 AM on December 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

The Sedona Method by Dwoskin
Loving What Is by Byron Katie

What I like is that neither is interested in being preachy or telling you what to do. They'd just like to offer you tools to help you not suffer. Both methods are question based and ask you to respond to a situation through inquiry.

When something big happens in my life, or when I'm unsettled, these tools are what I turn to. Both do workshops and such, but I think their methods are really understandable and actionable on their own.
posted by mulkey at 11:34 AM on December 18, 2023