ugh
December 5, 2023 7:26 AM Subscribe
Word has gotten out at work that I am leaving for a new job and an avalanche of sorts is occurring. Do I have reason to worry? I'll explain why I am worried inside.
I accepted a job offer last Friday and put in my two weeks' notice yesterday. I knew that despite my request to my supervisor that they keep the details of my departure confidential until our weekly team meeting tomorrow the grapevine would be buzzing because we are a small team. Morale has taken a nosedive in our department over the past six months and lots of people are looking to get out - I happen to be the first person on the associate level who's gotten a firm offer.
The company I am moving to is in our industry and has other job postings open. Multiple people are begging me to take them with them, which, like, I'd be happy if any of my colleagues ends up working with me at the new company because my colleagues aren't the problem at my current job, senior management is.
One of my colleagues told me that she applied to one of those open positions at my new company and noted in her application that she knows me. I kind of wish she hadn't done that - I don't even work there yet, my start date is 12/18, and I don't think a reference from me carries much water since they don't know me yet. I also don't want my new company to get the impression that I gave her permission to do that (because I didn't), or to get the impression that I already think I am in a position to "bring people with me" as that feels like an overstep when I still have to work out my notice.
I've told my colleagues to slow their roll and wait till I've started at the company and get my bearings before I can do any sort of "referral" - they can send me their resumes now if they want and when I know the lay of the land there I can see what I can do.
Is there any risk that my new company will think poorly of me because a desperate colleague of mine applied for a job saying they knew me? I tend to think if anything they will think poorly of the company I am leaving because a move like that is so clearly a mark of desperation. But I just don't want to make a bad impression on the company before I've even started the job.
Thoughts? I've told EVERYONE to slow their roll please and I will help them IF I can but I can't undo the application that that one colleague already sent in dropping my name. Do I need to speak with the HR recruiter who's onboarding me and let them know that I didn't tell anyone to drop my name?
I accepted a job offer last Friday and put in my two weeks' notice yesterday. I knew that despite my request to my supervisor that they keep the details of my departure confidential until our weekly team meeting tomorrow the grapevine would be buzzing because we are a small team. Morale has taken a nosedive in our department over the past six months and lots of people are looking to get out - I happen to be the first person on the associate level who's gotten a firm offer.
The company I am moving to is in our industry and has other job postings open. Multiple people are begging me to take them with them, which, like, I'd be happy if any of my colleagues ends up working with me at the new company because my colleagues aren't the problem at my current job, senior management is.
One of my colleagues told me that she applied to one of those open positions at my new company and noted in her application that she knows me. I kind of wish she hadn't done that - I don't even work there yet, my start date is 12/18, and I don't think a reference from me carries much water since they don't know me yet. I also don't want my new company to get the impression that I gave her permission to do that (because I didn't), or to get the impression that I already think I am in a position to "bring people with me" as that feels like an overstep when I still have to work out my notice.
I've told my colleagues to slow their roll and wait till I've started at the company and get my bearings before I can do any sort of "referral" - they can send me their resumes now if they want and when I know the lay of the land there I can see what I can do.
Is there any risk that my new company will think poorly of me because a desperate colleague of mine applied for a job saying they knew me? I tend to think if anything they will think poorly of the company I am leaving because a move like that is so clearly a mark of desperation. But I just don't want to make a bad impression on the company before I've even started the job.
Thoughts? I've told EVERYONE to slow their roll please and I will help them IF I can but I can't undo the application that that one colleague already sent in dropping my name. Do I need to speak with the HR recruiter who's onboarding me and let them know that I didn't tell anyone to drop my name?
This post was deleted for the following reason: posters request -- frimble
Best answer: I completely understand why you're having Emotions about this but you're also super overthinking it. It's pretty common for folks to leaving a company to try to ride the coattails of a colleague going to a better competitor - nobody at your new job will be shocked.
Also, a referral is not a reference. "I'm applying from the same place you got nayantara, hire me!" is NOT the same as "Nayantara vouches for me." You may or may not be asked about your colleague; you're quite correct that you're gonna be too new to be a reliable reference. But also, even if you are - good for you! They like you that much! And also, no matter what your colleague says, nobody will assume you endorse them; again, this whole pattern is, if not common, pretty 'normal.'
There's nothing about this that will make a bad impression on your new company based on the actions of your colleagues. Your anxiety is being anxiety and you are way overthinking this.
(For context I am an extreme overthinker myself and also have worked at places with great colleagues and awful management so I completely get this feeling myself)
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:42 AM on December 5, 2023 [25 favorites]
Also, a referral is not a reference. "I'm applying from the same place you got nayantara, hire me!" is NOT the same as "Nayantara vouches for me." You may or may not be asked about your colleague; you're quite correct that you're gonna be too new to be a reliable reference. But also, even if you are - good for you! They like you that much! And also, no matter what your colleague says, nobody will assume you endorse them; again, this whole pattern is, if not common, pretty 'normal.'
There's nothing about this that will make a bad impression on your new company based on the actions of your colleagues. Your anxiety is being anxiety and you are way overthinking this.
(For context I am an extreme overthinker myself and also have worked at places with great colleagues and awful management so I completely get this feeling myself)
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:42 AM on December 5, 2023 [25 favorites]
Yes, you are overthinking this. Try putting your head in a different space. Tell yourself [and anyone who inquires about where you're going or what you'll be doing], "For the remainder of my time here, I'm going to focus on making sure our clients/customers are being served."
Rinse. Repeat.
posted by John Borrowman at 7:52 AM on December 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
Rinse. Repeat.
posted by John Borrowman at 7:52 AM on December 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'd maybe drop a friendly note to NewCompany HR saying "some of my colleagues found out where I'm going and they may be applying, however I did not encourage them to do it".
Since OldCo and NewCo are competitors there may be some friction ahead about poaching employees and if you can get ahead of that, it certainly can't hurt.
But I agree with Tomorrowful - you have nothing to worry about and should be mentally disassociating yourself with OldCo as you transition outward. If OldCo starts to give you grief, you have this internet stranger's position to ignore the two week notice and walk out ASAP.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:53 AM on December 5, 2023
Since OldCo and NewCo are competitors there may be some friction ahead about poaching employees and if you can get ahead of that, it certainly can't hurt.
But I agree with Tomorrowful - you have nothing to worry about and should be mentally disassociating yourself with OldCo as you transition outward. If OldCo starts to give you grief, you have this internet stranger's position to ignore the two week notice and walk out ASAP.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:53 AM on December 5, 2023
This sounds like a non-issue. Unless your new company is particularly weird or unreasonable, they're not going to think that someone else mentioning they know you reflects on you in any way.
It's not a reference or a referral from you, it has nothing to do with you until/unless that coworker asks you to actually be a reference for her. If so, agree to be a reference or not, depending on whether you think well of her as a colleague - but you can think of it exactly as you would if she'd asked you for a reference while you were still at your old job. It's about your work together with her in the past, and has nothing to do with your current job. You don't need to build credibility at your new job before you can provide a reference about work you've done with someone in the past.
I do think that you're right that when it comes to you proactively suggesting former colleagues for hire as referrals, you might need to wait a while on that until you've built up some reputation and credibility. But even that might not be true - take a look at whether the new job has any formal referral process and if so, what the requirements are.
posted by Stacey at 7:58 AM on December 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
It's not a reference or a referral from you, it has nothing to do with you until/unless that coworker asks you to actually be a reference for her. If so, agree to be a reference or not, depending on whether you think well of her as a colleague - but you can think of it exactly as you would if she'd asked you for a reference while you were still at your old job. It's about your work together with her in the past, and has nothing to do with your current job. You don't need to build credibility at your new job before you can provide a reference about work you've done with someone in the past.
I do think that you're right that when it comes to you proactively suggesting former colleagues for hire as referrals, you might need to wait a while on that until you've built up some reputation and credibility. But even that might not be true - take a look at whether the new job has any formal referral process and if so, what the requirements are.
posted by Stacey at 7:58 AM on December 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'd drop the new company a note only if there are colleagues with actual red flags - bullies, incompetents etc. Otherwise "I don't vouch for them" may be read as a polite version of "OMG don't hire this person, I'm changing jobs to get away from them!"
Keep calm and good luck!
posted by I claim sanctuary at 8:37 AM on December 5, 2023 [11 favorites]
Keep calm and good luck!
posted by I claim sanctuary at 8:37 AM on December 5, 2023 [11 favorites]
Best answer: Do not initiate any communication with the new job about this and they will quickly forget it even happened. If they ask for your professional opinion of your current coworker, give it. But otherwise, saying nothing at all is the quickest way to make this a distant memory.
posted by happy_cat at 8:39 AM on December 5, 2023 [30 favorites]
posted by happy_cat at 8:39 AM on December 5, 2023 [30 favorites]
Best answer: I agree that you are letting anxiety tell you stories that may or may not be true. It is up to your new company to do due diligence about anyone they hire and you definitely SHOULD NOT discourage anyone from jumping ship or applying for jobs. People need to do what is best for them and you should not micromanage that relationship. You don't even know the new company that well so don't do them any favors by standing in between the job seekers and the employer. If they come to you and ask for a reference, give good clear ones when you can. Good luck with this. Take a breath. This feels chaotic but those are just feelings. Focus your efforts now on giving yourself a good transition.
posted by amanda at 8:42 AM on December 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by amanda at 8:42 AM on December 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
Best answer: I understand how this makes you nervous but I do agree you're overthinking it. You've done the right thing by telling colleagues to wait until you get there to start thinking about asking for references (if only so that you can make sure the new place is as great as it sounds).
I recommend against saying anything to the new employer unless you're asked. On the off-chance someone does mention that they've seen a bunch of applications from your old company, you can say something along the lines of "oh yeah, I guess they picked up on my enthusiasm for coming over here" and leave it at that. If they ask for specifics about your experience of working with someone, you can respond as you would under any other circumstances.
posted by rpfields at 11:53 AM on December 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
I recommend against saying anything to the new employer unless you're asked. On the off-chance someone does mention that they've seen a bunch of applications from your old company, you can say something along the lines of "oh yeah, I guess they picked up on my enthusiasm for coming over here" and leave it at that. If they ask for specifics about your experience of working with someone, you can respond as you would under any other circumstances.
posted by rpfields at 11:53 AM on December 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
No one is expecting you to hire them along. And don't offer to look over any more resumes or tell them to wait til you've started. Just say something positive and bland. "I'm looking forward to it! Good luck to you if you do decide to apply."
posted by bluedaisy at 12:54 PM on December 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by bluedaisy at 12:54 PM on December 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I'm in HR, but not a recruiter, and this is pretty common. In fact, someone I had not worked with put my name as a referral and didn't even tell me, so I was rattled when HR followed up with me. I gave them the context -- I took a class with them, I did not know they were going to name me in their application materials, and [in my case] I did not know enough about their professional background to speak to their candidacy. They would have taken my input had I been inclined, even though I had barely started this new role, but the only thing that HR remarked on was that I hadn't been asked first. Obviously your situation is a bit different but I don't think that being name dropped like that is going to reflect poorly on you, and since you mentioned that New Company is quite large it's unlikely that anyone has even seen this application yet, so I wouldn't bring it up.
they can send me their resumes now if they want and when I know the lay of the land there I can see what I can do.
Don't do this. You are a kind person but one who will be very busy transitioning out of your current role and getting acclimated and onboarded to a new place, not to mention planning for your upcoming move and etc. You can't unring the bell but I think you should redirect your colleagues to the formal channels, at least for now.
Congrats on getting the role!
posted by sm1tten at 1:59 PM on December 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
they can send me their resumes now if they want and when I know the lay of the land there I can see what I can do.
Don't do this. You are a kind person but one who will be very busy transitioning out of your current role and getting acclimated and onboarded to a new place, not to mention planning for your upcoming move and etc. You can't unring the bell but I think you should redirect your colleagues to the formal channels, at least for now.
Congrats on getting the role!
posted by sm1tten at 1:59 PM on December 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: This is pretty common, I have applied from sinking ships and gotten the “we have seen several resumes from your employer” line.
posted by nickggully at 6:48 PM on December 5, 2023
posted by nickggully at 6:48 PM on December 5, 2023
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by nayantara at 7:31 AM on December 5, 2023