I need another way to say, "I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

October 16, 2023 2:44 PM

I am writing a thing and want to convey the same feeling as Lloyd Dobler in the phone booth in the rain in Say Anything, saying, "I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen." I need another quote or reference that means the same thing.

I have a character who, disappointed in a partner's reaction to something, wants to say, "I'm having an I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen moment here." But a Say Anything reference will not land with the small audience I'm writing for.

This character is inclined to explain things through literary/film/TV references, so I'm looking for something else that conveys the same thing, rather than having them just- say, "I'm disappointed" in so many words.

Sci-fi references, either books, TV, or movies might work; literary references might work. Pop culture references from recent years might work. Poetry absolutely could work. Hit me with whatever you've got.

posted by Well I never to Writing & Language (21 answers total)

Did she take your money and go to Chicago?

Also an 80s reference, so probably off mark.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:50 PM on October 16, 2023 [1 favorite]

Left me on read.

In actuality I have read receipts turned on for almost nothing in my life. But I say "left me on read" from time to time when I want to convey the feeling of, well, getting left on read. This seems to be generally well understood as a universal experience.

Poetic? Not so much.
posted by phunniemee at 3:05 PM on October 16, 2023 [4 favorites]

from the Near-Misses-Might-Spark-Something files:
. She caught the Katy and left me the mule to ride.
. I gave her the ring and she gave me the finger.
posted by adekllny at 3:11 PM on October 16, 2023 [1 favorite]

Maybe the "I love you/I know" exchange from Empire Strikes Back?
posted by doift at 3:22 PM on October 16, 2023 [1 favorite]

Or from Ghost, "I love you..." ".... Ditto."
Again, 80s. What was with the 80s!?
posted by nkknkk at 3:33 PM on October 16, 2023 [2 favorites]

I hate to ask this, but what's your audience? Teenagers?
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:52 PM on October 16, 2023

Maybe you could riff on the whole “she’s everything, he’s just ken” thing? Perhaps especially if he feels a little outmatched sometimes?
posted by pie_seven at 3:58 PM on October 16, 2023 [2 favorites]

I built her a time machine and she asked the hell I did to her Delorean.

I gave her front row tickets and she says she likes the view from the back.

I bought her a Ferrari and she said she'd rather walk.
posted by gideonfrog at 4:23 PM on October 16, 2023

I leapt, but no one caught me.

I let go of my trapeze, but there was nothing else to hold on to.
posted by amtho at 4:26 PM on October 16, 2023

You may be able to expand your options by working contrary to the expected quote. For instance I made her an offer she was only too happy to refuse.

It's like taking the red pill only to find out that not only is there no spoon, but I wasn't even welcome in the damn kitchen.

I find myself thinking of the immortal Kevin Sorbo who so eloquently proclaimed.."Disappointed!"

It's like I was a Xenomorph and she really didn't want me on her ship.

I felt like I was Kirk, but she treated me like I was Wesley Crusher.

I haven't been this disappointed since the last season of Lost

I haven't been this disappointed since the last season of Game of Thrones.

Since you're looking for movies, I doubt this works, but one of my favorite Elvis Costello lyrics is "I said I'm so happy I could die. She said drop dead and left with another guy."
posted by willnot at 4:27 PM on October 16, 2023 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: These are giving me so many ideas, thanks!
posted by Well I never at 5:40 PM on October 16, 2023

Could Last Christmas (Wham) be twisted to the cause? It's an old song, but you can't avoid it for a certain portion of the year.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 11:01 PM on October 16, 2023

I told her “I love you”
she replied “thanks”
posted by alchemist at 2:14 AM on October 17, 2023 [1 favorite]

The locked tomb has - "I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it."
posted by Braeburn at 2:43 AM on October 17, 2023

This is Taylor Swift, so obviously will depend on your audience, but from her song, Back to December:

"You gave me roses and I left them there to die"
"You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye"

(Obviously you'd need to switch up the pronouns)
posted by litera scripta manet at 5:57 AM on October 17, 2023 [1 favorite]

Again, near miss: Mustang Sally "Brought you a brand-new Mustang.....you won't let me ride"
posted by adekllny at 6:26 AM on October 17, 2023

Remember when that guy fished the sapphire out of the ocean for Britney?

Or Leia and Han: “I love you.” “I know.”
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:43 AM on October 17, 2023

I feel like Emma Thompson unwrapping a Joni Mitchell CD right now.

I feel like Carrie Bradshaw being broken up with by Post It right now.
posted by guessthis at 2:32 PM on October 17, 2023 [2 favorites]

Not remotely current, but to paraphrase Jerry Reed, I gave her a gold mine, she gave me the shaft.
posted by kate4914 at 3:52 PM on October 17, 2023

I told her she looked like Michelle Pfeiffer.
She told me I looked like Eddie Haskell.

Real-life example!

p.s. I don't look like Eddie Haskell.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:54 PM on October 18, 2023

My favorite is from the Red Elvises song, "Sad Cowboy Song":

"I gave her the ring. She gave me the finger."
posted by msladygrey at 8:57 AM on October 19, 2023