Where can I find info on relationships *after* caregiving/illness?
September 5, 2023 7:48 AM Subscribe
Thinking specifically about when the crisis has ended and that "caregiving/cared for" role is ready to transition. Specifically, in a romantic relationship. I'm coming up dry on this topic. I'd like to know where to look, who to talk to or what to Google.
I learn from parsing peoples' stories, research, frameworks, a variety of perspectives. Without any of that, I'm struggling to know my own mind on this.
There are lots of resources and anecdotes about people who get sick and are left alone by their partner after diagnosis. There are comments about how crummy it can be when somebody who's just recovered from serious illness, like cancer, ups and leaves the person who supported them through that trial. Including how sour it is when the caregiver is not bringing fun, carefree vibes specifically because of the tradeoffs they made in the caregiving role. There's content for/about the caregivers and the stress and trauma they go through. There's research on how a permanent role shift changes the dynamic in a relationship.
But I'm not finding the stories about that decision or period in a relationship after the crisis, from the perspective of the person who went through the crisis, from a more objective lens into what both people in the relationship go through, or looking into relationships where these big decisions were made mutually. Whether it's a big change, breaking up, or changing something about how people see themselves in the relationship but keeping the relationship intact.
Ideally I could find articles, research, personal accounts, books, a therapist directory, or a checklist for people to go through when they reach that stage.
I learn from parsing peoples' stories, research, frameworks, a variety of perspectives. Without any of that, I'm struggling to know my own mind on this.
There are lots of resources and anecdotes about people who get sick and are left alone by their partner after diagnosis. There are comments about how crummy it can be when somebody who's just recovered from serious illness, like cancer, ups and leaves the person who supported them through that trial. Including how sour it is when the caregiver is not bringing fun, carefree vibes specifically because of the tradeoffs they made in the caregiving role. There's content for/about the caregivers and the stress and trauma they go through. There's research on how a permanent role shift changes the dynamic in a relationship.
But I'm not finding the stories about that decision or period in a relationship after the crisis, from the perspective of the person who went through the crisis, from a more objective lens into what both people in the relationship go through, or looking into relationships where these big decisions were made mutually. Whether it's a big change, breaking up, or changing something about how people see themselves in the relationship but keeping the relationship intact.
Ideally I could find articles, research, personal accounts, books, a therapist directory, or a checklist for people to go through when they reach that stage.
Here are flink's links:
Caregiver Workbook: Chapter 8: End of the Caregiver Role
Caregiving After Treatment Ends
posted by virago at 11:45 AM on September 5, 2023
Caregiver Workbook: Chapter 8: End of the Caregiver Role
Caregiving After Treatment Ends
posted by virago at 11:45 AM on September 5, 2023
Response by poster: Thanks for the resources so far. I'll look into cancer survivor and caregiver groups. I'd be very grateful for anything from the perspective of the person that recovered, or looking at it from the relationship perspective and not purely for the caregiver.
posted by ramenopres at 9:00 AM on September 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by ramenopres at 9:00 AM on September 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
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https://www.lls.org/sites/default/files/National/USA/Pdf/Publications/Caregiver_Workbook_Ch8_End_of_the_Caregiver_Role_2019.pdf
https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/caregiver-support/caregiving-after-treatment
Apologies if these aren’t helpful. I’m so sorry about how you must be feeling.
posted by flink at 10:46 AM on September 5, 2023