Should I quit my job to be an artist?
July 21, 2023 11:51 PM Subscribe
I'm deeply burned out and our household finances would not be meaningfully impacted if we lost my income. Should I quit my job and make art full time? I would love (1) honest feedback and (2) recommendations for books, podcasts, or other resources to help me think through the decision and/or (3) hearing about your experience of what worked (or didn’t) when you made a similar decision.
I'm a woman in her late 30s married to a man. We've been married for more than a decade. No kids. Spouse is a tenured academic in a field that is unusually well compensated. (For academia, anyway.) We live in the US. I've spent my career working in nonprofits on a topic that I care a lot about. I’m well respected professionally and am proud of the work I’ve done. However, after nearly 20 years in the field I am incredibly burned out. I've been thinking about quitting for the past few years and spouse is very supportive of me leaving my job.
I'm exhausted by issues internal to the place I work and by broader challenges in the sector. There are very few organizations that do this work in my region. I've worked at a number of them. My employer is by far the best and has the healthiest culture. This is saying very little! The culture prioritizes intense work and emotions often run high. I asked about moving to a part-time schedule and was told that wouldn't be possible.
I make art in my free time. I would say I am at a reasonably professional level: I've had pieces in shows at well regarded galleries and earn a small supplemental income from selling my work. That said, it isn't realistic to think that I would be able to earn anywhere near my current salary even if art were my full time job.
My spouse is very supportive of me leaving my job to make art full time. Our finances would not be meaningfully impacted by the loss of my income. We have no debts beyond our very reasonable mortgage. He thinks I should follow my dreams! But... I am risk-averse and am having a hard time making a decision.
My current job isn't particularly well paid, but it feels incredibly risky to leave the labor force! I'm not sure that I would be able to re-enter my current field if I left. My colleagues would be absolutely shocked. People in my field expect a deep personal commitment to the work. I worry it would burn bridges if I quit to make art. My spouse is great and our marriage is healthy, but I know that women often are very vulnerable in these kinds of situations. I have always worked and I worry about not being as financially independent as I am now. We have solid savings and are on track for retirement, but I worry I would be in a difficult position if something happened to my spouse.
At the same time: many of my artist friends are either in exactly this kind of arrangement (and are totally fine) or dream about an opportunity like this to leave their day job. The fact that my spouse has tenure means our income is unusually stable. When I imagine myself in 30 years, I think I would regret having stayed in my current career out of fear.
Sorry for the long, rambling question! Basically, I would appreciate any honest thoughts, resources to help me think through this decision, or stories of what worked (or didn’t work) if you made a similar choice.
I'm a woman in her late 30s married to a man. We've been married for more than a decade. No kids. Spouse is a tenured academic in a field that is unusually well compensated. (For academia, anyway.) We live in the US. I've spent my career working in nonprofits on a topic that I care a lot about. I’m well respected professionally and am proud of the work I’ve done. However, after nearly 20 years in the field I am incredibly burned out. I've been thinking about quitting for the past few years and spouse is very supportive of me leaving my job.
I'm exhausted by issues internal to the place I work and by broader challenges in the sector. There are very few organizations that do this work in my region. I've worked at a number of them. My employer is by far the best and has the healthiest culture. This is saying very little! The culture prioritizes intense work and emotions often run high. I asked about moving to a part-time schedule and was told that wouldn't be possible.
I make art in my free time. I would say I am at a reasonably professional level: I've had pieces in shows at well regarded galleries and earn a small supplemental income from selling my work. That said, it isn't realistic to think that I would be able to earn anywhere near my current salary even if art were my full time job.
My spouse is very supportive of me leaving my job to make art full time. Our finances would not be meaningfully impacted by the loss of my income. We have no debts beyond our very reasonable mortgage. He thinks I should follow my dreams! But... I am risk-averse and am having a hard time making a decision.
My current job isn't particularly well paid, but it feels incredibly risky to leave the labor force! I'm not sure that I would be able to re-enter my current field if I left. My colleagues would be absolutely shocked. People in my field expect a deep personal commitment to the work. I worry it would burn bridges if I quit to make art. My spouse is great and our marriage is healthy, but I know that women often are very vulnerable in these kinds of situations. I have always worked and I worry about not being as financially independent as I am now. We have solid savings and are on track for retirement, but I worry I would be in a difficult position if something happened to my spouse.
At the same time: many of my artist friends are either in exactly this kind of arrangement (and are totally fine) or dream about an opportunity like this to leave their day job. The fact that my spouse has tenure means our income is unusually stable. When I imagine myself in 30 years, I think I would regret having stayed in my current career out of fear.
Sorry for the long, rambling question! Basically, I would appreciate any honest thoughts, resources to help me think through this decision, or stories of what worked (or didn’t work) if you made a similar choice.
Assuming you are right that your current field would be difficult to re-enter - what other paid work could you pursue if you wanted to re-enter the workforce? People who were gainfully employed for the better part of 20 years normally have a lot of transferable skills they can exchange for a paycheque. Perhaps explore that angle a bit.
In addition, if you can derive meaning from your art it may be less important to do work you consider meaningful. Work could then just be work.
Finally, there are ways to monetise your art beyond selling pieces - you have skills here that you could share for money > classes/ workshops etc.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:17 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
In addition, if you can derive meaning from your art it may be less important to do work you consider meaningful. Work could then just be work.
Finally, there are ways to monetise your art beyond selling pieces - you have skills here that you could share for money > classes/ workshops etc.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:17 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Are you more running from your current job, or to art?
If the former, is there a halfway thing of quitting your job, working part time for some stable income, and doing art still on the side but more than you currently are? If you're willing to quit, your employer may decide it is possible to keep you on part time after all, although obviously you can't count on this.
If the latter, you might regret it later if you don't pursue your art. But have some backup plan to earn money if it doesn't work out.
posted by pianissimo at 12:55 AM on July 22, 2023 [13 favorites]
If the former, is there a halfway thing of quitting your job, working part time for some stable income, and doing art still on the side but more than you currently are? If you're willing to quit, your employer may decide it is possible to keep you on part time after all, although obviously you can't count on this.
If the latter, you might regret it later if you don't pursue your art. But have some backup plan to earn money if it doesn't work out.
posted by pianissimo at 12:55 AM on July 22, 2023 [13 favorites]
I think that because you are already selling some, this is not a terrible idea. It's not like you're starting from scratch. You already have an idea of the background work of art-- making the product into a saleable discreet item with packaging and so on, marketing that to art fairs/hobbyists/shows/coffee shops/galleries/publishers, selling yourself, etc. If you think that the marketing yourself and hustling sounds like a realistic and OK thing to do, you are halfway there.
If it becomes your only job, you do have to consider all of the freelancer stuff: you have to figure business costs, depreciation for anything durable, your office/studio, liability, your own health insurance and any disability riders you want to put on there, quarterly self-employment taxes, and so on. It really is a job and it grinds you down, especially after the fiftieth person who is like "I love this painting but maybe half of this size and can it match my couch and be $500 cheaper."
It is also hard to be a freelancer when the other partner has a day job. It's really easy to fall into "Well, I'm home all day so I'll do all the chores and all the errands in between my art..." and eventually you're just a housewife. No shade on anyone who wants to be a housewife, it is a noble profession, but if the intent is a freelance art career then you need to guard your time just as much as if you were working a day job and needed to make space for other things that are important to you. This is highly dependent on your relationship. If you can put in 8 hours at art with discipline, and your partner respects it, then you should be fine.
What I would suggest to you is choosing a deadline after which you'll look at your profit and loss situation and check in with yourself as to whether you're still enjoying it. Give it 2 years maybe. Then think hard about what you want to do. If you go back to interviewing at various jobs at that point and they ask you what you did for two years, it's not like it was nothing, you ran a business!!! At that point you will also have something of a portfolio, and depending on what the skill is that you have, that may lead to a new day job in the art field.
posted by blnkfrnk at 1:20 AM on July 22, 2023 [33 favorites]
If it becomes your only job, you do have to consider all of the freelancer stuff: you have to figure business costs, depreciation for anything durable, your office/studio, liability, your own health insurance and any disability riders you want to put on there, quarterly self-employment taxes, and so on. It really is a job and it grinds you down, especially after the fiftieth person who is like "I love this painting but maybe half of this size and can it match my couch and be $500 cheaper."
It is also hard to be a freelancer when the other partner has a day job. It's really easy to fall into "Well, I'm home all day so I'll do all the chores and all the errands in between my art..." and eventually you're just a housewife. No shade on anyone who wants to be a housewife, it is a noble profession, but if the intent is a freelance art career then you need to guard your time just as much as if you were working a day job and needed to make space for other things that are important to you. This is highly dependent on your relationship. If you can put in 8 hours at art with discipline, and your partner respects it, then you should be fine.
What I would suggest to you is choosing a deadline after which you'll look at your profit and loss situation and check in with yourself as to whether you're still enjoying it. Give it 2 years maybe. Then think hard about what you want to do. If you go back to interviewing at various jobs at that point and they ask you what you did for two years, it's not like it was nothing, you ran a business!!! At that point you will also have something of a portfolio, and depending on what the skill is that you have, that may lead to a new day job in the art field.
posted by blnkfrnk at 1:20 AM on July 22, 2023 [33 favorites]
One thing you don't seem to have thought of, is that if you do art full-time, you will become better at it. Not only better at the artwork, but better at managing your instagram, better at arranging solo shows, better at pricing and maintaining networks, and perhaps better at studying art, too. You know, reading journals and going to visit shows at home and in other places. You will become a (more) professional artist. So I'm guessing your income might grow.
posted by mumimor at 1:37 AM on July 22, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by mumimor at 1:37 AM on July 22, 2023 [15 favorites]
blnkfrnk has it.
Be mindful that just making and selling art in your free time is very different from being a full time professional artist. You will need to learn how to hustle, how to switch on your creativity even when you really don't feel like it, how to manage the concept of turning something you currently enjoy and care about into something that makes you stressed/frustrated/exhausted. You'll have to negotiate an online world that's becoming increasingly hostile to artists who want to make an honest living. There's a reason that many artists say becoming professional artists made them hate art.
But! It will also have great moments. You'll have the freedom (and pitfalls) of your own schedule. You might discover that it's something that can sustain you even while it's difficult. You'll never know if you don't try.
I'll also add, just as a bit of advice: I don't know what form your art takes, but in the coming years it's going to get even more important to be able to make something that a computer can't replicate. People will be looking for unique physical objects or an experience they can't get anywhere else. Your USP will need to take that into account.
Good luck!
posted by fight or flight at 3:02 AM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
Be mindful that just making and selling art in your free time is very different from being a full time professional artist. You will need to learn how to hustle, how to switch on your creativity even when you really don't feel like it, how to manage the concept of turning something you currently enjoy and care about into something that makes you stressed/frustrated/exhausted. You'll have to negotiate an online world that's becoming increasingly hostile to artists who want to make an honest living. There's a reason that many artists say becoming professional artists made them hate art.
But! It will also have great moments. You'll have the freedom (and pitfalls) of your own schedule. You might discover that it's something that can sustain you even while it's difficult. You'll never know if you don't try.
I'll also add, just as a bit of advice: I don't know what form your art takes, but in the coming years it's going to get even more important to be able to make something that a computer can't replicate. People will be looking for unique physical objects or an experience they can't get anywhere else. Your USP will need to take that into account.
Good luck!
posted by fight or flight at 3:02 AM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
You can mitigate the risk of death with insurance. But divorce not as much. Even so, why not give it a try for a couple of years? I made the choice to detour my career - in digital content, which is a very fast-moving field beset currently by AI. I worked in martial arts for almost 6 years.
I decided to make the change back and I applied for 3 jobs. I got 2 offers and I am currently loving the one I accepted. So the idea that you couldn’t get back into your field, unless you are in a small area where there are only two positions or something, doesn’t pass the sniff test for me. I did the following:
- kept good relations with past colleagues, mostly via social media
- did coursework to keep my skills relevant (and to show I was)
- linked my choices to skills I’d developed to apply back in my old field
posted by warriorqueen at 5:02 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I decided to make the change back and I applied for 3 jobs. I got 2 offers and I am currently loving the one I accepted. So the idea that you couldn’t get back into your field, unless you are in a small area where there are only two positions or something, doesn’t pass the sniff test for me. I did the following:
- kept good relations with past colleagues, mostly via social media
- did coursework to keep my skills relevant (and to show I was)
- linked my choices to skills I’d developed to apply back in my old field
posted by warriorqueen at 5:02 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Are consultants a thing in your field, such that you could try working as a freelance consultant who doesn't need to stress about drumming up a ton of business and can do art when business is slow? That might be either the best or the worst of both worlds, but if it's an option it's worth thinking about. Another way to keep a toe in the sector might be to publish materials (training, documentation, etc.) that might be valuable to people in the field, or get you invited to professional conferences or whatever.
If you decide to leave, can you frame it as taking a sabbatical instead of leaving the field? After a year or so you can take stock and see if you want to go back to external employment or not.
Agreed with the comment above about working in a different and hopefully healthier sector as another alternative. And with the point above about mixing household work with work work. Are you and your husband on the same page about your expectations here, or will he be (consciously or unconsciously) expecting you to take on more household tasks?
posted by trig at 5:05 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
If you decide to leave, can you frame it as taking a sabbatical instead of leaving the field? After a year or so you can take stock and see if you want to go back to external employment or not.
Agreed with the comment above about working in a different and hopefully healthier sector as another alternative. And with the point above about mixing household work with work work. Are you and your husband on the same page about your expectations here, or will he be (consciously or unconsciously) expecting you to take on more household tasks?
posted by trig at 5:05 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Hey listen, you don't need to make Massive Life Choices today. Just... take a sabbatical. Seriously, just make the decision today to take and entire year off. You can make choices through that year, but you will be making them from a different perspective than the one you have now.
I worry I would be in a difficult position if something happened to my spouse.
Life insurance and a consult with a divorce lawyer to understand how assets are allocated in your state are both wise.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:06 AM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
I worry I would be in a difficult position if something happened to my spouse.
Life insurance and a consult with a divorce lawyer to understand how assets are allocated in your state are both wise.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:06 AM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
It sounds like you have the opportunity to do something that many would dream about, but the question is does it sound like a dream to you? "The Year of Knots" talks a bit about the author quitting her tech job to learn/make knots for a year, and how that's become her profession. She gave some tips for thinking through the decision and structuring her time in her year. Note: She's not a classic 20-year-old quits tech; more mid-career, so think it would be more relevant. [I might recommend just borrowing the book, unless you too also want to learn how to make knots.]
Similar to others, I would consider: 1) just taking a long vacation; 2) moving to part time work; 3) taking a sabbatical. You're not necessarily making a 10-year long lifestyle decision at this moment.
If you're burnt out, I would really think about addressing that first. Don't become a full time artist because you're burnt out. Take a break and recover as it sounds like you have the ability to do so, and then think about what you want to do afterwards.
posted by ellerhodes at 5:49 AM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
Similar to others, I would consider: 1) just taking a long vacation; 2) moving to part time work; 3) taking a sabbatical. You're not necessarily making a 10-year long lifestyle decision at this moment.
If you're burnt out, I would really think about addressing that first. Don't become a full time artist because you're burnt out. Take a break and recover as it sounds like you have the ability to do so, and then think about what you want to do afterwards.
posted by ellerhodes at 5:49 AM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
I would try to get an art-related job, even part-time. It will put less pressure on your art to be financially successful, and it will grow your network of art-related colleagues. Honestly, I would do this even if I had an inheritance, because making art while everyone else is at work is lonely. Furthermore, if there's a feeling that you can only call yourself an artist if you show and sell regularly, that makes the whole practice scary and fraught - a side job in art can make it feel less perilous. If pursuing an MFA with tuition benefits from your husband's job is an option, I would do that too, since it opens the door to teaching and to tenure of your own. If you have artist studios in your town, I would be sure to get one and work there everyday, to avoid household-chore creep and to strengthen your network.
posted by xo at 5:50 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by xo at 5:50 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
I suspect you are over-estimating the difficulty of reentering the workforce in more or less your current field after a few years. People successfully (though not necessarily easily) navigate this after, say, more than 10 years out of the workforce while raising kids. And, if you spend that time developing your art career (whether by selling art, starting to teach, or whatever), that will only make a transition back to formal work easier.
And frankly, if divorce is concerning you, if your current salary is so low that losing it will have no impact on your combined finances, that isn't going to provide much of a safety net relative to your current quality of life.
Personally I think you should go ahead and do this -- quit your job on the most professional and positive terms possible (maybe even offering them the option to bring you back as a consultant under very limited terms?) and then see where the art can lead. If you don't like it, then you can call this a "sabbatical" and work on changing directions.
All that said, this is a really loaded decision (in part because it is so wrapped up in trust in your spouse) and maybe worth talking through with a therapist to help unpack all the feelings involved, versus making a decision today.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:23 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
And frankly, if divorce is concerning you, if your current salary is so low that losing it will have no impact on your combined finances, that isn't going to provide much of a safety net relative to your current quality of life.
Personally I think you should go ahead and do this -- quit your job on the most professional and positive terms possible (maybe even offering them the option to bring you back as a consultant under very limited terms?) and then see where the art can lead. If you don't like it, then you can call this a "sabbatical" and work on changing directions.
All that said, this is a really loaded decision (in part because it is so wrapped up in trust in your spouse) and maybe worth talking through with a therapist to help unpack all the feelings involved, versus making a decision today.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:23 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I don’t know what people mean when they are saying “sabbatical” because if the employer doesn’t offer this (none of my employers or spouse’s ever have) then you are just quitting.
However, I think if you do quit, you should do so methodically. You should take a vacation and specifically use that time to plan out some goals. Put an end date of one year to throw yourself into this and see what comes. If you think you can get by on one income, start doing so now. Put every paycheck in a new account separate from the rest of your money and don’t spend it except on business/art stuff. Plot out your year and get going. Have some important goals in mind and revisit them from time to time as you learn more. Good luck!
posted by amanda at 7:01 AM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
However, I think if you do quit, you should do so methodically. You should take a vacation and specifically use that time to plan out some goals. Put an end date of one year to throw yourself into this and see what comes. If you think you can get by on one income, start doing so now. Put every paycheck in a new account separate from the rest of your money and don’t spend it except on business/art stuff. Plot out your year and get going. Have some important goals in mind and revisit them from time to time as you learn more. Good luck!
posted by amanda at 7:01 AM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
It might be helpful to ask yourself what the plan is if you *don’t* leave your job. The current situation sounds unsustainable. A sabbatical or a leave of absence might give you a break and a chance to explore the possibility of leaving your job.
But I don’t think you should jump straight into your art business. It sounds like you need to rest and heal.
posted by bunderful at 7:13 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
But I don’t think you should jump straight into your art business. It sounds like you need to rest and heal.
posted by bunderful at 7:13 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Non-profits will suck the life out of you. Quit. Volunteer for a kids art program. Kids under the age of 11 or so create great art, after that they can become self-conscious (“I can’t draw”). They will inspire you.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:19 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:19 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Yeah, you're in a town with a university. If you want or need to find work in the future there are jobs at the university that would make use of your skills and talents, and openings because people in that world move around. Take two years off, think of these years as the two sabbaticals you would have had by now if you were an academic. Have fun and stop worrying.
posted by mareli at 7:23 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by mareli at 7:23 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I would quit literally as soon as you can, and I would immediately go read Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, which tackles how to deal with this kind of emotional exhaustion. I'm in a similar boat and it's proven very helpful.
I would also strongly second bunderful's question - what are the negative consequences of staying, and are they worth it? Sounds like no. Women are socially rewarded for their persistence but there is a downside! A significant one.
posted by randomquestion at 7:32 AM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
I would also strongly second bunderful's question - what are the negative consequences of staying, and are they worth it? Sounds like no. Women are socially rewarded for their persistence but there is a downside! A significant one.
posted by randomquestion at 7:32 AM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
I don’t know what people mean when they are saying “sabbatical”
The business use of the word sabbatical is a special case of a more general break from work.
Seriously, just make the decision today to take and entire year off. You can make choices through that year, but you will be making them from a different perspective than the one you have now.
Absolutely this. If you are burned out you are not making good decisions right now. Telling people you're taking a year to sort out your life may cost you some short term opportunities, but you won't be burning any bridges. And particularly in the non-profit world people know this happens.
The first thing you need is a month with no expectations on yourself. If you want to do art, do art. If you want to travel, go travel. If you want to do nothing you can do that too. Just understand that burnout is not a wound that will heal the minute you stop working.
I burned out twice during my career and both times it took me over a year to really leave the old job behind. I could still feel the responsibilities and stress hovering over me for a long time after I left. Perspective came slowly.
In any case, tell people a year and after you have recovered a bit you can make a real decision.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:45 AM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
The business use of the word sabbatical is a special case of a more general break from work.
Seriously, just make the decision today to take and entire year off. You can make choices through that year, but you will be making them from a different perspective than the one you have now.
Absolutely this. If you are burned out you are not making good decisions right now. Telling people you're taking a year to sort out your life may cost you some short term opportunities, but you won't be burning any bridges. And particularly in the non-profit world people know this happens.
The first thing you need is a month with no expectations on yourself. If you want to do art, do art. If you want to travel, go travel. If you want to do nothing you can do that too. Just understand that burnout is not a wound that will heal the minute you stop working.
I burned out twice during my career and both times it took me over a year to really leave the old job behind. I could still feel the responsibilities and stress hovering over me for a long time after I left. Perspective came slowly.
In any case, tell people a year and after you have recovered a bit you can make a real decision.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:45 AM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
Absolutely quit. Life is short, you can afford it, go for it.
I’ve quit jobs due to burnout and other difficult circumstances and one thing to take into account is that recovery from burnout takes time. Don’t expect to have a lot of energy for a new life course right away.
Take time to enjoy your art, rest, and find inspiration. Dedicate yourself to your craft but don’t focus on the business side of making art until you have the energy to do it.
posted by mai at 7:46 AM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
I’ve quit jobs due to burnout and other difficult circumstances and one thing to take into account is that recovery from burnout takes time. Don’t expect to have a lot of energy for a new life course right away.
Take time to enjoy your art, rest, and find inspiration. Dedicate yourself to your craft but don’t focus on the business side of making art until you have the energy to do it.
posted by mai at 7:46 AM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Going back and forth between day-jobs and taking some time off to concentrate on your art (when you can afford it) is just a common thing that many semi-pro artists do.
posted by ovvl at 8:00 AM on July 22, 2023
posted by ovvl at 8:00 AM on July 22, 2023
Quit!
blnkfrnk raises some good point though. Even if your husband is 100% supportive now, you being home all the time and not earning an income beyond your art may change your relationship dynamics in ways that will be hard to predict until you're both living that new reality. That's not a reason not to do this, but I'd make a point of having monthly check-ins with each other.
Another thing I'll raise is that many people struggle with having absolutely no structure built into their lives. Some people experienced this to an extent during the pandemic with remote work, but it's even more extreme when working from home with literally nothing required from you in any given day. Add in some burn out, and it may be even harder.
So you might consider something, in the ballpark of 10-20 hours a week, that could build a bit of structure into your week. It could be volunteering. Given that your husband is a professor, there is a good chance you qualify for discounted if not free college credits - take an art class in a technique that you either don't know or that requires expensive equipment. Or maybe you could dedicate a certain amount of time to organize something that will benefit the other artists in your community - a monthly critique perhaps?
posted by coffeecat at 8:03 AM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
blnkfrnk raises some good point though. Even if your husband is 100% supportive now, you being home all the time and not earning an income beyond your art may change your relationship dynamics in ways that will be hard to predict until you're both living that new reality. That's not a reason not to do this, but I'd make a point of having monthly check-ins with each other.
Another thing I'll raise is that many people struggle with having absolutely no structure built into their lives. Some people experienced this to an extent during the pandemic with remote work, but it's even more extreme when working from home with literally nothing required from you in any given day. Add in some burn out, and it may be even harder.
So you might consider something, in the ballpark of 10-20 hours a week, that could build a bit of structure into your week. It could be volunteering. Given that your husband is a professor, there is a good chance you qualify for discounted if not free college credits - take an art class in a technique that you either don't know or that requires expensive equipment. Or maybe you could dedicate a certain amount of time to organize something that will benefit the other artists in your community - a monthly critique perhaps?
posted by coffeecat at 8:03 AM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
If quitting doesn't feel right to you yet, you could ask one more time to switch to part-time work at your job, but this time let them know that if they say no, you will have to resign. It feels really good when you negotiate like this, because you are in the position of power. I'm not sure of the circumstances when you asked to be part-time before, but this would give them a choice between having you there on your terms (for 20 hours a week or whatever), or having to replace you. A bonus is if they say no and you walk away from this job, they might regret it and say yes to the next person who asks.
posted by lizard music at 9:57 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by lizard music at 9:57 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
I agree with the comments above that you might be overestimating the stigma associated with leaving your nonprofit job. I know that some mission-based organizations do try to make people feel guilty for quitting or taking a break, but as long as you leave professionally, with decent notice and a reasonably conscientious effort to hand over or transition your files, even those will probably get over it. Besides, if you are in a demanding area, they probably aren't spoiled for choice in skilled people willing to work for them. I doubt you'd have major problems coming back after a gap of a few years.
But, leaving your particular job/sector is a different story from leaving the employment world altogether. The advice above to check into insurance, divorce laws, etc just to know where you would be if something happened to your husband or your marriage is good, as is the idea of doing something part time, either consulting in your current area, or something art-related. If you set yourself up as a consultant, even if had very few clients, it could be a way of avoiding a gap in your career that might make it harder to go back.
As others have pointed out, it can also be hard to be the person without a fixed schedule in a household where others are working full time, so that's something to think about, too. I'm watching this dynamic play out with my neighbour, who left her job for similar reasons and whose household now treats her as the family concierge. They are all kind and reasonable people but everyone knows she is the one whose schedule can easily accommodate everyone's needs. She just told me she's taking a part time job at an art studio starting in the fall to get a break.
The bottom line, though, is that you need a break and you have the opportunity to do something many people would love to do. It doesn't have to be a permanent decision, you can experiment a bit. I hope you make the most of this adventure.
posted by rpfields at 10:02 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
But, leaving your particular job/sector is a different story from leaving the employment world altogether. The advice above to check into insurance, divorce laws, etc just to know where you would be if something happened to your husband or your marriage is good, as is the idea of doing something part time, either consulting in your current area, or something art-related. If you set yourself up as a consultant, even if had very few clients, it could be a way of avoiding a gap in your career that might make it harder to go back.
As others have pointed out, it can also be hard to be the person without a fixed schedule in a household where others are working full time, so that's something to think about, too. I'm watching this dynamic play out with my neighbour, who left her job for similar reasons and whose household now treats her as the family concierge. They are all kind and reasonable people but everyone knows she is the one whose schedule can easily accommodate everyone's needs. She just told me she's taking a part time job at an art studio starting in the fall to get a break.
The bottom line, though, is that you need a break and you have the opportunity to do something many people would love to do. It doesn't have to be a permanent decision, you can experiment a bit. I hope you make the most of this adventure.
posted by rpfields at 10:02 AM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Short answer: Yes!
This seems like one of those deathbed things - like will you come to the end of your life and say I had a chance to pursue my art and didn't take it?
I agree that the fact that you have had some success with your art already makes this seem much better than if you had never sold anything. You know what's involved more than you otherwise would. There's also lots of great advice here.
Also - one thing to think about. If you are married for fewer than ten years, you can't use your spouse's income for social security. So if, like me, you were a stay-at-home mom for five years earning nothing and you were only married for seven years, your social security is going to be a lot lower than it would be if you could count your spouse's income. At your age, this may seem like it doesn't matter that much, but at my age (mid-60s), you can see how much it does.
Also, my sister quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom for a few years, and she was never able to get back into her old field at all. She ended up going the administrative assistant route. So yes, that can happen. But you never know what's going to happen anyway. There are no guarantees whatever you do.
posted by FencingGal at 10:03 AM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
This seems like one of those deathbed things - like will you come to the end of your life and say I had a chance to pursue my art and didn't take it?
I agree that the fact that you have had some success with your art already makes this seem much better than if you had never sold anything. You know what's involved more than you otherwise would. There's also lots of great advice here.
Also - one thing to think about. If you are married for fewer than ten years, you can't use your spouse's income for social security. So if, like me, you were a stay-at-home mom for five years earning nothing and you were only married for seven years, your social security is going to be a lot lower than it would be if you could count your spouse's income. At your age, this may seem like it doesn't matter that much, but at my age (mid-60s), you can see how much it does.
Also, my sister quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom for a few years, and she was never able to get back into her old field at all. She ended up going the administrative assistant route. So yes, that can happen. But you never know what's going to happen anyway. There are no guarantees whatever you do.
posted by FencingGal at 10:03 AM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
My story: after years of burnout, I quit my job 7 months ago and I don't regret it one bit. I had a graphic design side gig and have spent some time spinning it up into a bigger business. I'm in no danger of making a living from it, but as I am married to someone with a income that can support both of us, my (eventual) goal isn't to make a living from it, it's to make an amount that I'd feel good adding half of to a retirement account and the other half to our vacation fund.
If I wanted to get back into the work world, it'd be a little difficult in my field (librarianship) as it's pretty competitive right now (especially since there are two library-degree-granting schools in my area pumping out graduates), but my improved mental health is SO WORTH IT, I find.
posted by telophase at 10:11 AM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
If I wanted to get back into the work world, it'd be a little difficult in my field (librarianship) as it's pretty competitive right now (especially since there are two library-degree-granting schools in my area pumping out graduates), but my improved mental health is SO WORTH IT, I find.
posted by telophase at 10:11 AM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
Yes you should quit and do art full time, but you should also throw yourself into learning about capitalist culture and history to understand why this is such a huge and scary decision for you when, in your own words, quitting will not meaningfully impact your income. You’re right that at the end of your life, you will almost certainly regret not at least trying, if you don’t. David Graeber’s books are a great place to start. They’re longish, but accessible, fun to read, and full of illuminating rabbit holes any the history of capitalism, debt, currency, and grind culture. You can do it!
Ps how do I know? I’m in the middle of a similar experiment except that I quit in my 50s after grinding for 40+ years and not really practical to do art in my spare time. So I’ma 54 year old — not beginner exactly, but way behind in my development because of all the reasons you listed. It’s now or never for me, but I’d rather die than not take a chance on myself.
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:45 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Ps how do I know? I’m in the middle of a similar experiment except that I quit in my 50s after grinding for 40+ years and not really practical to do art in my spare time. So I’ma 54 year old — not beginner exactly, but way behind in my development because of all the reasons you listed. It’s now or never for me, but I’d rather die than not take a chance on myself.
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:45 AM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I am also an extremely risk averse woman in her late 30s who had been in the workforce continuously since I was a teenager except for a few months of study abroad in college. I had worked in my specific industry for 15 years. A few months ago I left my tenured and unionized university job of nearly a decade, which had started to completely destroy my mental well-being and psyche, in order to develop my own consulting business related to my very specific niche research area and somewhat freelance-friendly skill set. It helped that I have some savings (not a ton, but enough to float both my husband and I for a few months if I had to), and secured a couple of consulting contracts that gave me a long runway. I also have an extremely supportive husband who has a steady job and whose health insurance I could get on.
I waffled about making the leap for several months even though I knew I didn't have a future in my old job that was a future I wanted to be around for. But I had a lot of personal issues tied up with leaving that made it excruciating to come to terms with. Once I finally turned in my notice, my years long sleep issues immediately improved. I am so, so, so happy I made the jump.
For a while I got really caught up in "Well if I make this change, it HAS to be successful." This did not help my risk aversion. Instead I finally reframed my quitting and doing my own thing as an experiment or something like a postdoc. If I run out of consulting/freelance work in a year or two, then I would go back to salaried employment. This really gave me the courage to give it a shot, and remember that people take chances all the time and as long as they are reasonably competent, usually find a way to keep going.
posted by mostly vowels at 1:28 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
I waffled about making the leap for several months even though I knew I didn't have a future in my old job that was a future I wanted to be around for. But I had a lot of personal issues tied up with leaving that made it excruciating to come to terms with. Once I finally turned in my notice, my years long sleep issues immediately improved. I am so, so, so happy I made the jump.
For a while I got really caught up in "Well if I make this change, it HAS to be successful." This did not help my risk aversion. Instead I finally reframed my quitting and doing my own thing as an experiment or something like a postdoc. If I run out of consulting/freelance work in a year or two, then I would go back to salaried employment. This really gave me the courage to give it a shot, and remember that people take chances all the time and as long as they are reasonably competent, usually find a way to keep going.
posted by mostly vowels at 1:28 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
No one has ever laid on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time in the office.
posted by ananci at 4:03 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by ananci at 4:03 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'm going to leave this link here: More Than That -- The Day You Decided to Take The Leap
posted by moiraine at 4:52 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by moiraine at 4:52 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
You also don’t have to tell people at your job that you’re “leaving to pursue art full time” - you can tell them as little or as much as you want. “What are you going to do instead?” Answer: anything I want!
posted by vitabellosi at 11:12 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by vitabellosi at 11:12 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Will you still enjoy making art if it is your full time job?
posted by oceano at 2:57 PM on July 24, 2023
posted by oceano at 2:57 PM on July 24, 2023
You mention twice that your household income will not be meaningfully impacted by leaving your job. If that is truly the case, and you do this, try to decouple your art-making from the money. From personal experience, asking your art to keep your lights on is something that changes your relationship to the art and the work of making it. IMO and IME, if you can take that pressure off, the work will be better for it.
I kind-of did what you’re describing around 2010, similarly with the support of my partner. I have no regrets. There have been successes, challenges, and, uhhh, real un-successes. There are years where I’ve contributed to our income and years where I have not meaningfully done so. Still, no regrets.
Plus (and YMMV), I think if I wanted to return to my old job, I would be more than welcome. Give your industry peers some time to miss you! :)
posted by TangoCharlie at 9:39 PM on July 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
I kind-of did what you’re describing around 2010, similarly with the support of my partner. I have no regrets. There have been successes, challenges, and, uhhh, real un-successes. There are years where I’ve contributed to our income and years where I have not meaningfully done so. Still, no regrets.
Plus (and YMMV), I think if I wanted to return to my old job, I would be more than welcome. Give your industry peers some time to miss you! :)
posted by TangoCharlie at 9:39 PM on July 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
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posted by aubilenon at 12:14 AM on July 22, 2023 [20 favorites]