cross-platform texting
July 3, 2023 11:10 AM Subscribe
I try to text frequently with two people, one on iPhone and one on Android, on a three-person group text from my own iPhone. But the iPhone user doesn't get the texts half the time, and when she does, she sometimes doesn't get photos or videos. Is this something that can be sorted out quickly?
The other two users are my mom and my dad, respectively, and they are not interested in fooling with their phones for big workarounds. If it can't be easily addressed, I'll have to text them separately.
The other two users are my mom and my dad, respectively, and they are not interested in fooling with their phones for big workarounds. If it can't be easily addressed, I'll have to text them separately.
Response by poster: No; this has been a recurring problem for a while, though I did upgrade to an iPhone 13 a few months ago. It's currently running 16.2. Mom is still using the iPhone 6s. I think my dad's phone is fairly new, but I'm not sure.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:38 AM on July 3, 2023
posted by Countess Elena at 11:38 AM on July 3, 2023
I can't speak for iPhone use, but I was not getting texts on my old Android phone when the memory was filling up. She may need to delete some things, clear out texts she doesn't care about, etc.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:50 AM on July 3, 2023
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:50 AM on July 3, 2023
Unfortunately 95% of the answer is Whatsapp. Even that doesn't help though if you, like me, have a parent with an absolute refuse to use mobile data or public wifi, so she only gets mms, WhatsApp when at home.
posted by Iteki at 11:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Iteki at 11:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If your texts to the iPhone user are over standard text length they are usually sent as mms nowadays, causing the above problem also, ie no data, no messages.
posted by Iteki at 11:55 AM on July 3, 2023
posted by Iteki at 11:55 AM on July 3, 2023
The three of you could try using Signal. My wife and I had a similar problem that was alleviated by us switching to Signal. It is reliable and very easy to use.
www.signal.org
It's nice because it's owned by a non-profit and not a creepy billionaire.
posted by sewellcm at 11:55 AM on July 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
www.signal.org
It's nice because it's owned by a non-profit and not a creepy billionaire.
posted by sewellcm at 11:55 AM on July 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
Best answer: Unfortunately group texts like this basically still use a very very old protocol that is not very robust especially when it comes to media. The only real solution is to be all on the same platform, whether that's the phone or the app. I can also recommend Signal for this (just switched a mixed group over), though Whatsapp is also commonly used and free.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:01 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:01 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
My family ended up on Signal, except for the other bit of my family that ended up on Telegram. The media and reliability experiences of both are much better than standard SMS/MMS, especially between iPhone/Android, as long as you have reliable internet access on your phones.
it's owned by a non-profit and not a creepy billionaire.
The Signal foundation has a big endowment from a billionaire who made his fortune by selling WhatsApp to Facebook in the first place.
posted by BungaDunga at 12:24 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
it's owned by a non-profit and not a creepy billionaire.
The Signal foundation has a big endowment from a billionaire who made his fortune by selling WhatsApp to Facebook in the first place.
posted by BungaDunga at 12:24 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
I've had similar issues with mixed Apple/Android SMS group chats. You gotta use an app instead.
posted by neckro23 at 12:34 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by neckro23 at 12:34 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
If the iPhone user uses Google Fi for their phone service, incorrect "MMS APN" or "MMSC" settings can cause problems receiving group texts or media files. They should check that everything listed under "5. Update your network settings" on this page are still correct. I have had occasional problems with these spontaneously resetting on my iPhone.
posted by mbrubeck at 2:11 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by mbrubeck at 2:11 PM on July 3, 2023
Best answer: The trick to this is not to send photos or videos AND text together in one message. I used to have this problem alllllll the fucking time and then I started sending the photo and THEN the message as a separate text and that solved the problem.
MMS fucking blows.
posted by rhymedirective at 3:03 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
MMS fucking blows.
posted by rhymedirective at 3:03 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Yeah, MMS just doesn't work super well. I'm on an iPhone, the rest of my family is on Android phones, and we had similar issues with group messages that eventually pushed us into just all using the same app. (WhatsApp in our case, which has its downsides, but at this point my parents are extra-resistant to switching again, so we're staying there, for better or for worse; but it's not what I would pick if I were setting it up now.)
posted by sailoreagle at 4:48 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by sailoreagle at 4:48 PM on July 3, 2023
MMS blows, and is also possibly not turned on on one of the iPhones. Check that.
Test: get the android user to send a pic to the apple users individually, which will go as an MMS message. If MMS is off, it won't be received. (If you send a message from one iPhone to another it will switch to iMessage, proving nothing; group messages including non-iPhone users seem to go as SMS or MMS and never iMessage, so you end up with different behaviour.)
Any mixed media message is MMS, not SMS, and if MMS is disabled then it just disappears into the ether after sending, which sounds like it fits your symptoms.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 4:49 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Test: get the android user to send a pic to the apple users individually, which will go as an MMS message. If MMS is off, it won't be received. (If you send a message from one iPhone to another it will switch to iMessage, proving nothing; group messages including non-iPhone users seem to go as SMS or MMS and never iMessage, so you end up with different behaviour.)
Any mixed media message is MMS, not SMS, and if MMS is disabled then it just disappears into the ether after sending, which sounds like it fits your symptoms.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 4:49 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks, guys! It makes a lot more sense that photos and videos cause the problem particularly. I’ll see what I can do about getting them set up with an app.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:21 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by Countess Elena at 6:21 PM on July 3, 2023
I am the only one on team Green in several group texts. My three kids are all iPhone users and send me mms all the time. Photos, videos, etc. I never or very rarely have the problem. I think it is bc I use Google Voice rather than the android messages app. I run a Pixel 6 Pro
Right now, I am trying to help my gf's 87 yo father with basic things on his iPhone and iPad. He is extremely smart, extremely analytical, and extremely resistant to change.
I have found several things to be truisms. One, you ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. Two, change for some is really scary. The reasons why are not relevant and no amount of logic is going to change them.
You're not going to to get an older Gen apple user to switch to android and vice versa. I think as you noted, that changing apps is more likely than changing hardware. If you can get the Android user to try Google Voice just for these group texts, that may work. If not, getting both of your parents to use a WhatsApp or Signal or whatever is your best bet. With my gf's parents, her mom can follow directions and repeat steps over and over again. What we do with them is to try and teach them both, but make sure the mom gets it. Then when we are not around, the two of them are on the couch with the mom patiently trying to teach dad to follow the two steps needed to open an app and type. We found the dad is much more patient or tolerant with his wife trying to teach him than us. Family dynamics I guess.
Know too that there may be no solution that works for them because of change. Then, I would try email for sending photos and videos. They may be more comfortable with email since it has been around a lot longer and they probably first learned to communicate over the internet via email.
Good luck.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Right now, I am trying to help my gf's 87 yo father with basic things on his iPhone and iPad. He is extremely smart, extremely analytical, and extremely resistant to change.
I have found several things to be truisms. One, you ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. Two, change for some is really scary. The reasons why are not relevant and no amount of logic is going to change them.
You're not going to to get an older Gen apple user to switch to android and vice versa. I think as you noted, that changing apps is more likely than changing hardware. If you can get the Android user to try Google Voice just for these group texts, that may work. If not, getting both of your parents to use a WhatsApp or Signal or whatever is your best bet. With my gf's parents, her mom can follow directions and repeat steps over and over again. What we do with them is to try and teach them both, but make sure the mom gets it. Then when we are not around, the two of them are on the couch with the mom patiently trying to teach dad to follow the two steps needed to open an app and type. We found the dad is much more patient or tolerant with his wife trying to teach him than us. Family dynamics I guess.
Know too that there may be no solution that works for them because of change. Then, I would try email for sending photos and videos. They may be more comfortable with email since it has been around a lot longer and they probably first learned to communicate over the internet via email.
Good luck.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Another vote for Signal here. I have a number of group chats in Signal, and it works well on everyone's devices. It also works on computers, which is convenient.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 12:47 AM on July 4, 2023
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 12:47 AM on July 4, 2023
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posted by samthemander at 11:15 AM on July 3, 2023