Job search filter: two meh options

June 15, 2023 5:03 AM

I have mixed feelings about my current job and I have an offer I feel lukewarm about. You are not me, but would you stay or go?

My current job is in a startup. It pays surprisingly well, has lots of energy and exciting work, and gives me tons of learning and career growth opportunities. However, I don’t like my manager very much, the work gets too much at times, I’m remote and miss humans, and the company is going through pivots that’s making things confusing and stressful.

My offer is from a former employer with my former manager. I like the manager, the job has an in-office/hybrid option, the company is large and has much better work life balance and vacation days and so on, people are generally nicer than my current job in their day to day, and the product is established enough that huge pivots won’t happen. However, they’ve told me in clear terms that there will be no raises and no promotions or growth (for reasons), the work itself feels kind of uninspiring compared to what I do now, and I know things move at a snails pace with a lot of politics.

If I turn down the offer, I risk burning a bridge with my former manager, and will start to feel burned out with the work and difficulties with my current manager. I have a young child which makes work life balance somewhat of a priority.

If I take the offer, I’m returning to exactly the same frustrations that made me leave in the first place.

There’s a third option I haven’t explored yet, which is to switch managers in my current job, but even if that’s possible, it only removes the manager part of the issue.

The industry isn’t hiring very much so let’s assume getting an offer from another company isn’t an option right now.

Help me think through this.

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (9 answers total)

You've got leverage at your old place. If they're asking for you back, they need you back. I hope the offer was for significantly more than where you were at when you left.

It wasn't? And no raises or promotions to come? Maybe their budget is protectively buckled down due to recession rumblings, or maybe they're in a rough spot business wise. Hard to say. But regardless, if they won't do it for you then you have to promote yourself before you consider going back. You won't return for any less than $X and [whatever title] you'd like. Only negative thing they can say is no, and then you're in no different spot than you are now.
posted by phunniemee at 5:17 AM on June 15, 2023 [5 favorites]

The offer from your old manager-did you reach out or did they? If they reached out, I agree that you need to get a promotion out of this. If you reached out and now are getting cold feet thinking about going back to everything you intentionally left, well...probably trust your gut.

Having worked at places that are growing and places that are shrinking, I would much rather work at a place that is growing. I understand the work/life balance issues, but what happens when you push back?
posted by Narrow Harbor at 5:56 AM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]

"they’ve told me in clear terms that there will be no raises and no promotions or growth" --> You will *NOT* burn a bridge if you turn down the offer at your former employer/mgr. It's great that they were super clear with you.

There were reasons why you left your old job -- does it really sound like they've changed? Or, does it sound like your priorities for what you want out of a job changed?

I would seriously look into finding a new role with a new manager in your current start up. This won't change the "it's remote" issue, but getting a good/decent manager in a company you generally enjoy with work you generally enjoy will have an impact on your day to day experience of work. Is there another senior person whom you've enjoyed working with in the past? Or, a manager that's well respected by your peers? Worth getting a coffee chat to understand if they have or will have opportunities on their teams. Your company is growing, so usually that means hiring continues.
posted by ellerhodes at 6:05 AM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]

However, they’ve told me in clear terms that there will be no raises and no promotions or growth (for reasons)

This suggests that if you do go back to the former company, that job will have an expiry date. At some point, you will want to have raises/promotions/growth, and then your only choice will be to leave.

That doesn't mean it is 100% a bad idea to go back, especially if you think it could be a better stepping stone to something better in a year or two. It sounds like at least in the short term it would alleviate a lot of your concerns, but just recognize that this doesn't solve things long-term.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:19 AM on June 15, 2023 [2 favorites]

I personally prioritize work-life balance and liking the people I work with over challenge and excitement, but even so, I would think really hard about going back to an old company and an old boss who presumably I left for a reason. I think in your shoes I would need a really clear reason to do that - would it be a big salary or title bump from where you are now? If you take that job you're going to eventually want to leave it again based on what you've said here, so you would probably do well to be thinking now about how to position yourself for that at the start, since it sounds like there won't be any room for growth once you say yes.

If you can't get a really solid title and pay bump out of this, I'd stay where you are and explore the "switch managers" option, as well as getting your resume etc. in order so if a third option does appear you're ready to move on it.
posted by Stacey at 6:30 AM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]

It surprises me to hear that you think turning down this offer from the old employer would burn a bridge. "No possibility for growth in either responsibility or pay" is something I think most hiring managers would be reluctant to tell you, because it's a great reason to turn down a job. This seems like an easy conversation actually -- "I've thought about this a lot, and while I would have enjoyed the opportunity to work with you again, I can't commit to a role with no opportunity for growth. I'm sure neither of us would want this to be a short-term stay. Let's stay in touch and if a different opportunity with room to grow opens up in a few years, please keep me in mind."
posted by eirias at 6:59 AM on June 15, 2023 [15 favorites]

I don't see much point in going back to the old job. As you said, it's literally the reasons why you left in the first place.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:51 AM on June 15, 2023

How can a company declare “no raises” in an inflationary environment?? I would only go back to the old job if you can negotiate a salary increase that makes up for the lack of raises over 1-3 years. Then assume you make another jump at that point. If old job rejects your counteroffer, then you’re not the one burning bridges!
posted by haptic_avenger at 10:43 AM on June 15, 2023

It sounds like neither option is a good long term option for you; you'll need a new job in a couple of years, at least.

So, would you rather hang out at your current job while searching for a new one, or would you rather spend two years at your old job just coasting and then start the hunt?

For me, especially while parenting a small kid, lack of stress would make up for less money and inspiration, as long as money wasn't a stress factor (i.e. less money = not enough).

So if I were you, I'd go to your old boss and say "this job sounds great for me, but without opportunities for advancement, I'll probably only be here for a year or two. Would that work for you?" That might not be a good idea officially, but if you have a good relationship, that might work.

Otherwise, stay where you are and keep job hunting.
posted by gideonfrog at 1:23 PM on June 15, 2023 [2 favorites]