Navigating an awkward job offer situation
May 17, 2023 5:27 AM Subscribe
I'm a software developer. I have a sitting offer with one company and I'm still interviewing quite intensely with a second, much larger and slower-moving company. The difference in the pay gap is significant, but the market is also quite hard right now so I'm hoping to keep the first option open through the slow process.
Additionally, my partner has just received some medical news that has thrown in some uncertainty. I'm really stressed and would love some help coming up with a script or any advice navigating this situation in general.
First, the job stuff:
Both companies are involved in the same industry that feels good to work in - let's say children's education - and both jobs are roughly equivalent in terms of the tech I would be working with. I started interviewing with both companies around the same time and have been transparent with both throughout about the existence of the other.
Local Company was genuinely wonderful to interview with. It's a small company with less than ten people in a development role, and my experience in larger dev shops (50-100 devs) and occasional leadership experience in that context is very attractive to them. Normally their process is an initial interview, a tech assessment, a final interview, then offer stage, but I came off so well in the first interview that they fast-tracked me to the final interview. I got along with everyone I met and it seems like it'd be a fun, chill job.
But of course the problem is the compensation. It's well below my expectations at 75k. That's after I negotiated up.
I don't believe they are urgently filling a position here, rather I happened to stumble across them and fall into their lap as a potentially great employee - if they could get me for 75k it'd be a steal, not to toot my own horn. My contact at Local Company is aware I'm still in the process with other places, and he's been very gracious about the timeline - luckily, he had been on vacation the last two weeks anyway. But at this point it feels like it's getting silly because the current start date on the offer is the 29th and I will absolutely need to have that pushed back if I want to continue work with the second company, Foreign Company.
Foreign Company is very nearly a "unicorn" and the work there is likely to be more challenging and cutting-edge (if I receive an offer). They are fat with venture capital, fully remote, and the salary range is 110k-120k, PLUS bonus, PLUS equity. Significant difference.
My only problem with them has been the length of the interview process: I was told it would be a phone screen, an initial interview with engineering, a 24h take-home technical assessment followed by an interview about that, and then a behavioural "virtual onsite" interview. On Monday I finished the assessment and was informed I moved forward within minutes of finishing it... but then was told the virtual onsite interview was actually two interviews with two teams, which is annoying. Those interviews are scheduled for the 22nd and the 24th.
Other than that, it's been good interacting with them: I checked in on my interviewers' LinkedIns and they have all been progressive-leaning, they've been prompt and organized with responses (just the distance between events has been long), and with one contact a bit of the professional distance has cracked into friendliness. It's almost irritating because every time I think I'm fed up with their process, someone does something nice or charming that makes me think it's probably a good place to work despite it.
As for the medical stuff:
I was supposed to respond to Local Company yesterday with a timeline, but didn't because my partner received some very scary health news and the fallout of it kind of ate my entire day. We are waiting on some test results and if they come back a certain way, a major surgery will likely follow pretty quickly... but from what I gathered the test results are more or less a foregone conclusion. The recovery for this will be very long and difficult for her. It feels horrible to have to even consider all this job stuff in the face of it, honestly, and I am still having trouble thinking about it without getting upset. But this may affect when I could start a job, so I'm wondering how/if I should bring this up. (I live in Canada, so no concerns about health insurance at least.)
I know my "safe" option is to accept the job offer and continue interviewing with Foreign Company, but I would ideally want to keep the relationship open with Local company because they seem like good people, I want to keep them in my network.
I think Foreign Company is moving as fast as they can, so my current intention is to email Local Company and ask for an extension. Do you think this is wise? What might that email look like? Should I bring up the medical stuff at all at this point? If so, how?
My brain is absolutely fried currently and I would really, really appreciate any advice. Thanks.
First, the job stuff:
Both companies are involved in the same industry that feels good to work in - let's say children's education - and both jobs are roughly equivalent in terms of the tech I would be working with. I started interviewing with both companies around the same time and have been transparent with both throughout about the existence of the other.
Local Company was genuinely wonderful to interview with. It's a small company with less than ten people in a development role, and my experience in larger dev shops (50-100 devs) and occasional leadership experience in that context is very attractive to them. Normally their process is an initial interview, a tech assessment, a final interview, then offer stage, but I came off so well in the first interview that they fast-tracked me to the final interview. I got along with everyone I met and it seems like it'd be a fun, chill job.
But of course the problem is the compensation. It's well below my expectations at 75k. That's after I negotiated up.
I don't believe they are urgently filling a position here, rather I happened to stumble across them and fall into their lap as a potentially great employee - if they could get me for 75k it'd be a steal, not to toot my own horn. My contact at Local Company is aware I'm still in the process with other places, and he's been very gracious about the timeline - luckily, he had been on vacation the last two weeks anyway. But at this point it feels like it's getting silly because the current start date on the offer is the 29th and I will absolutely need to have that pushed back if I want to continue work with the second company, Foreign Company.
Foreign Company is very nearly a "unicorn" and the work there is likely to be more challenging and cutting-edge (if I receive an offer). They are fat with venture capital, fully remote, and the salary range is 110k-120k, PLUS bonus, PLUS equity. Significant difference.
My only problem with them has been the length of the interview process: I was told it would be a phone screen, an initial interview with engineering, a 24h take-home technical assessment followed by an interview about that, and then a behavioural "virtual onsite" interview. On Monday I finished the assessment and was informed I moved forward within minutes of finishing it... but then was told the virtual onsite interview was actually two interviews with two teams, which is annoying. Those interviews are scheduled for the 22nd and the 24th.
Other than that, it's been good interacting with them: I checked in on my interviewers' LinkedIns and they have all been progressive-leaning, they've been prompt and organized with responses (just the distance between events has been long), and with one contact a bit of the professional distance has cracked into friendliness. It's almost irritating because every time I think I'm fed up with their process, someone does something nice or charming that makes me think it's probably a good place to work despite it.
As for the medical stuff:
I was supposed to respond to Local Company yesterday with a timeline, but didn't because my partner received some very scary health news and the fallout of it kind of ate my entire day. We are waiting on some test results and if they come back a certain way, a major surgery will likely follow pretty quickly... but from what I gathered the test results are more or less a foregone conclusion. The recovery for this will be very long and difficult for her. It feels horrible to have to even consider all this job stuff in the face of it, honestly, and I am still having trouble thinking about it without getting upset. But this may affect when I could start a job, so I'm wondering how/if I should bring this up. (I live in Canada, so no concerns about health insurance at least.)
I know my "safe" option is to accept the job offer and continue interviewing with Foreign Company, but I would ideally want to keep the relationship open with Local company because they seem like good people, I want to keep them in my network.
I think Foreign Company is moving as fast as they can, so my current intention is to email Local Company and ask for an extension. Do you think this is wise? What might that email look like? Should I bring up the medical stuff at all at this point? If so, how?
My brain is absolutely fried currently and I would really, really appreciate any advice. Thanks.
Take the job, and then take the better job if that materializes. This is what employment at will means, you don't have to tell the first job anything beyond thank you and say that you've decided to pursue other options.
posted by zeikka at 6:52 AM on May 17, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by zeikka at 6:52 AM on May 17, 2023 [8 favorites]
What is the value of fully remote work and less/no financial pressure when your partner is recovering? I feel like it would be a lot for me, but maybe the more chill job and having the search be over means more to you. I personally would ask for the extension, check the temperature of the response, and hope for the best. Healing thoughts for your partner.
posted by donnagirl at 7:03 AM on May 17, 2023
posted by donnagirl at 7:03 AM on May 17, 2023
I think Foreign Company is moving as fast as they can, so my current intention is to email Local Company and ask for an extension. Do you think this is wise? What might that email look like? Should I bring up the medical stuff at all at this point? If so, how?
Have you told Foreign Company that you have a job offer and that Local Company is expecting a decision by date X?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:04 AM on May 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Have you told Foreign Company that you have a job offer and that Local Company is expecting a decision by date X?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:04 AM on May 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Fluff the first one and ask for more time. Tell them you're excited and love the company and the role but that you need to push the start date by two weeks and see what they say. You don't have to give them a reason except that it would be better for you. This won't burn any bridges, and they almost certainly won't immediately drop you. Instead they'll meet and float the idea with everyone involved in hiring and they'll either say yes, and you can finish the interview process as Foreign Company, or they'll say what about one week, and you can maybe finish the process or ask Foreign Company if they can speed it up since you have a competing offer on the table, or they'll say no. But the offer will still be there. If they respond by saying no, then you can think about accepting the offer while still interviewing at Foreign Company. Honestly if they say no flat out, I'd wonder about working for them at all. If they rescind the offer because you asked for a later start date, I'd *definitely* not want to work for them.
posted by dis_integration at 7:19 AM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by dis_integration at 7:19 AM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Agree with Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug above - there’s nothing that gets a company to move faster through the hiring process than telling them that you have another offer on the table.
posted by zsazsa at 7:26 AM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by zsazsa at 7:26 AM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: > Have you told Foreign Company that you have a job offer and that Local Company is expecting a decision by date X?
Ah, to clarify they are aware that I have an existing offer. I am making myself available at strange local hours to help with scheduling across timezones so those two interviews are likely as early as I can get them. Local company has not given me a hard deadline; I think this is the first time that my main contact there has hired a non-intern.
I may hit up my main contact at Foreign Company again and see if there's anything else we can do to condense it further, perhaps one behavioural interview could be enough.
Also worth mentioning in general is that I am not in any immediate financial distress. My partner's treatment will be free and she will get paid leave - even if there's not a system for it, which there might be, she's accrued a ridiculous amount of vacation and sick days rolled over from previous years. I have significant savings, plus assets that I could sell if it came to it, although it's unlikely it would get to that point.
Thanks everyone for responses so far.
posted by one of these days at 7:44 AM on May 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Ah, to clarify they are aware that I have an existing offer. I am making myself available at strange local hours to help with scheduling across timezones so those two interviews are likely as early as I can get them. Local company has not given me a hard deadline; I think this is the first time that my main contact there has hired a non-intern.
I may hit up my main contact at Foreign Company again and see if there's anything else we can do to condense it further, perhaps one behavioural interview could be enough.
Also worth mentioning in general is that I am not in any immediate financial distress. My partner's treatment will be free and she will get paid leave - even if there's not a system for it, which there might be, she's accrued a ridiculous amount of vacation and sick days rolled over from previous years. I have significant savings, plus assets that I could sell if it came to it, although it's unlikely it would get to that point.
Thanks everyone for responses so far.
posted by one of these days at 7:44 AM on May 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I think you should tell Local Company thanks but no thanks, and start searching for other jobs while you wait to see if Foreign Company makes an offer.
Taking a bad salary is something that can take five or ten years to recover from career-wise, and you don't seem like you're desperate here or even that enthusiastic about the job. I think you are probably doing the thing where the most attractive thing about the company is that they're interested in you, which is a normal way to feel but not a good way to make a decision.
I promise you, even in the current economy, there are lots of jobs where your coworkers will be nice and the work will be chill and they won't offer a salary that is way below your expectations.
posted by inkyz at 9:55 AM on May 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Taking a bad salary is something that can take five or ten years to recover from career-wise, and you don't seem like you're desperate here or even that enthusiastic about the job. I think you are probably doing the thing where the most attractive thing about the company is that they're interested in you, which is a normal way to feel but not a good way to make a decision.
I promise you, even in the current economy, there are lots of jobs where your coworkers will be nice and the work will be chill and they won't offer a salary that is way below your expectations.
posted by inkyz at 9:55 AM on May 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
unicorn
fat with venture capital
I have watched so many people get fat offers and then get cut a month later due to the vagaries of the market. Take that local gig and keep it until the bear market fucks back off into the woods. Low risk steady nice jobs for the win right now!
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 2:26 PM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
fat with venture capital
I have watched so many people get fat offers and then get cut a month later due to the vagaries of the market. Take that local gig and keep it until the bear market fucks back off into the woods. Low risk steady nice jobs for the win right now!
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 2:26 PM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Take the sure thing and leave when a better offer comes, it that comes 5 years or 1 day after starting. They would drop you in a heartbeat if it thought it would make them more money.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 3:08 PM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 3:08 PM on May 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
If you put yourself back on the market, how long do you think it would take you to find another position? Because this is not and either/or. (And you didn't mention if you're currently employed, which is another option for 'none of the above'.)
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 10:45 PM on May 17, 2023
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 10:45 PM on May 17, 2023
This thread is closed to new comments.
I think asking for an extension might end up being a hard fail, but it also might be NBD. Either way, they're likely to assume you're lukewarm at best about their offer, which you are, so there's only so far you can preserve that relationship. Figure out what the worst case is that you can live with and act accordingly.
posted by restless_nomad at 6:34 AM on May 17, 2023 [3 favorites]