Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean (clothing edition)

December 26, 2022 10:18 PM

Pronounce the name like it's a fabric, and you get my drift... Help me rediscover my sense of style and figure out where to find said clothes, postpartum and WFH edition. Snowflakes inside.

What's helped you find your WFH style in these our pandemic times? A lot of things have collided at once for me, and I'm not sure the best route to take. In no particular order:

1) New baby! I'm about 10 weeks postpartum, so my body's still shifting and adjusting to that reality. I'm also nursing/breast/chestfeeding (please lmk what the preferred term is here), so I've learned I need to work around that.

2) Related to the above, I'm in a larger body than I've been in in a long time, so I'm not sure how to adapt my preferred styles or who to look at for inspiration. I lean masc-ish/ dapper/ tomboyish/ androgynous with a lot of my fashion choices, but with femme notes. Not often a big pink, frills, or flounce person. On the flip side, athleisure has been great - leggings with pockets are wonderful but I'm open to other suggestions like in the post from Gin and Broadband last month. Prepregnancy I had been a fan of getting shirts from the Goodfellows line at Target.

3) I also share her concerns about fast fashion; I'm in the middle of being brutal about the clothes I've hung onto for so long, and I'm ok with spending a moderate amount of money for a few key pieces, but I have no idea what that amount should be in 2022/3 USD. But also, new baby; I don't want to spend money I should be budgeting for kiddo needs.

4) Complicated feelings territory: I want to honor my body as it is now and not aim for losing weight, but the last time I was at this weight was after right before going into dietetics and during a huge personal drive to regain a lean/muscular physique, so it's hard not to fall back to those mindsets and behaviors on tough body image days. I'm staying looped in to some anti-diet, intuitive eating, fat liberation, and body positive spaces on the socials to help keep me grounded. By the same token, I suspect that my body will continue to change in ways I haven't even discovered yet, and I'm trying to frame any physical changes as becoming "mom strong". This complicates my feelings around taking measurements, but I kinda need to know what size clothes to hunt for!

5) Uniforms! My last two jobs were chef and clinical dietitian, both of which came with a uniform; I think giving myself the Mr. Rogers routine of "getting dressed" for work will help me cut myself off from the day.
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So, yeah. I have feelings and could use some pointers on search terms, services, and/or brands to help me look and feel awesome. Thanks!

posted by OhHaieThere to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (11 answers total)

Universal standard is great for dressing bodies of all sizes. The sizing is based on "average" sizes (so a Med is the United Stated average of 18).

They are maybe more femme overall than you'd like but they do have lots of more neutral pieces.

I find the quality to be great. I keep 3 pair of US jeans in rotation until they wear out. They easily last 3 or more years easily and I am rough on jeans.

I've had equally good luck with shirts, except I generally damage them beyond repair (with engine grease or paint or some other irreparable damage) before they wear out. I still have some 5+ years old that are in good shape.

Also they have a "fit liberty" program, meaning you can exchange for different sizes if your size/shape changes within a year (with some caveats). Details on the FAQ page.

I also like that returns on the fit liberty program go to charity, and are not landfill waste.
posted by CleverClover at 11:07 PM on December 26, 2022

I'm a different gender, but I've found that (the unfortunately named) harem pants are the only pants I didn't need to replace after a recent 25kg change in weight. Some of the Japanese made ones are professional looking enough I wear them to the office. (No idea for the top.) Good luck, and congratulations on the baby.
posted by eotvos at 12:07 AM on December 27, 2022

For well made button-up shirts in a range of interesting colours and patterns, check out Gender Free World.

In addition to different sizes, they make shirts for four different body shapes:

Alex - has more room for wider hips or bigger bottoms
your hips measure 9cm or more larger than your bust measurement.
or your tummy/waist is similar or bigger than your bust measurement
if you fit a classic 'pear shape' description
If your trouser size is one or two sizes larger than your top size eg a 14 for trousers but 10 or 12 for tops.

Billie - has more room for much bigger busts
your bust size is significantly larger in relation to the rest of you
your cup size is larger than an EE and you have a smaller waist measurement than your chest by at least 10 cm.
If your trouser size is one or two sizes smaller than your top size. Eg a 10 for trousers but 12 or 14 for tops.

Charlie - a classic cut, loose fit.
your shoulders and hips are similar widths regardless of your waist size
you might describe your figure as straight up and down or
you might describe your figure as apple shaped or
you might describe your figure as hourglass
you may or may not have breasts
you take the same size in tops and in trousers

Drew - similar to a traditional 'mens' shirt cut, but of course you don't need to be male to wear it, will fit you if
you have a long body
your shoulders are much broader than your hips
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 1:40 AM on December 27, 2022

You might think about this mentally in two different phases, nursing and then post nursing. The logistics of nursing and pumping are easier if your clothes are accommodating. I pretty much exclusively wore very stretchy tank tops and v neck cardigans. I think you could adapt that to buttoned shirts? It’s a very simple uniform. And then you can plan your future wardrobe. At ten weeks out, your body is still actively recovering, too, so putting off a big investment makes sense.
posted by chocotaco at 4:51 AM on December 27, 2022

I started work again at 12 months postpartum when I was still breastfeeding, and I WFH, and I have a lot of similar feelings to you about fast fashion, and the size of my body, and my unwillingness to try to change the size of my body. Here are a few things that work(ed) for me:

1. I will never wear another pair of jeans in my damn life. Sorry. I hate them and they suck. Since no one ever sees my bottom half, I wear black leggings every day. Girlfriend Collective makes nice leggings with a sustainable angle (though when it comes to new clothes nothing is ever truly sustainable).

2. When I was breastfeeding, I bought a bunch of Uniqlo Airism Camisoles which I would wear overtop of a nursing bra. They have super stretchy straps so you can just pull the camisole down to nurse. These are fast fashion, not at all sustainable, but they’re a bit of a compromise for me because they gave me the freedom to wear…

3. Whatever shirt I already owned that zips or buttons up. For WFH I find that I like wearing a cardigan or light jacket, which looks professional enough for the norms at my workplace.

There are seasons of life when I have been and will
be a very ethically and sustainably conscientious consumer. And there are other seasons where I simply need more convenience or a lower cost. Postpartum was a season where I needed things to me maximally convenient and minimally expensive, so I gave myself some leeway during that time to buy more stuff and cheaper stuff.
posted by rodneyaug at 11:38 AM on December 27, 2022

To speak to the nursing aspect... I used nursing tank tops, rather than bras. My favorites were from Bravado. They make great nursing bras too, and they mention being sustainable.

One thing to keep in mind. After stopping nursing, my cup size decreased... Kind of like a deflated balloon, but within a year, things had adjusted and filled in a bit more. So plan for continuing fluctuations and don't buy post-nursing bras too soon.
posted by skunk pig at 12:54 PM on December 27, 2022

I'm a nursing person also navigating Post-partum body changes and working from home. My current uniform has been jumpsuits. It's easy to find nursing accessible ones (either from maternity brands or ones that just happen to be stretchy and v-neck/faux wrap), they feel like pajamas, and because they are one piece they require very little decision making with regards to creating an ensemble. They can range from flowy and femme to tailored and dapper to industrialish. I think I wear a jumpsuit 3-4 times a week at this point.
posted by Otis the Lion at 4:04 PM on December 27, 2022

If you live in an area with good thrift stores, I recommend taking some trips to explore those and allow yourself to buy some items that you're unsure about on the cheap. It's the low risk way of literally trying new things on for size to see who you are and what you feel comfortable in these days. I find that I am personally much more likely to try out a different look, fit, pattern, style, etc. if it costs me less than $10. I struggle so much with online shopping and real stores to feel that the price is worth it if I don't know if I'll like how it feels on my body after a day so I get paralyzed about trying new things and just return to old standards when I shop new. At the thrift store, though, I am free! I shop literally every rack to see what sizes, fabrics, and cuts feel right. The men's section tends to have fewer pieces but better quality, and the women's sections often hold surprises in the sea of fast fashion pieces if I can be patient enough to thumb through. You'll have some obvious wins -- like, duh, this heavy denim LL Bean shirt in XL is the most comfortable thing in the world and I wear it every day -- and some real surprises -- these strange pants from a brand I'd never heard of look and feel great, and now I can look them up online and buy a pair new to add to my collection since I am happy wearing them every day. For me, reducing the risk of spending a lot of money for something I no longer like after a single wear makes the effort of thrifting worth it. If I don't like it later -- I just take it back to the thrift store next time I go and donate. Feels good to be more sustainable and adventurous, and I do feel like I've pinpointed my style over time, so now I have a better sense of what to grab when I do see it.

It is worth caveating that thrifting is generally better in person, that some stores are going to suck, and that sometimes you'll only find a single thing of interest after a long search. Try, try again. And be bold about exploring stores and items you've never considered -- you'll be disappointed if you're looking for specifics or for perfection.
posted by luzdeluna at 7:32 AM on December 28, 2022

Seconding Universal Standard. I also had significant body changes in the pandemic, they are also not exactly my style, but they've been invaluable right now because they provide not only sizing info based on body measurements, but accurate garment measurements, and I have a decent sense of how the clothes are likely to fit.

I've also found eShakti's off-the-rack sizing information (based on body measurements) generally accurate. It has not been the crap shoot ordering from them that it's been from many other women's clothing retailers.
posted by EvaDestruction at 3:45 PM on December 28, 2022

Ok so I don’t have brand recommendations but I wanted to emphasize where you said that your body will continue to change. My body was really blobby in weird ways during postpartum. I really didn’t work out or do more than getting a ton of button down shirts at swap.com but by a year later it was some sort of semblance of its prior self (except the hips, those are forever mom hips!). Basically I would encourage you to thrift a lot and focus on function over form because postpartum til parent of a 1 year old is a very non-concrete space physically and emotionally and if you sort of muddle along for a year you’ll feel fully ready identity wise to do a shopping spree.
posted by donut_princess at 6:25 PM on December 29, 2022

Well, I'd written a response yesterday but it got eaten... And I'm glad it did!

Thank you all for your support and tips; hard to pick a single best answer. I'll aim for thrifting/consignment once I have more headspace and free time, and look into the brands mentioned (Universal Standard, GFC, Girlfriend Collective) for ideas and maybe one or two pieces. I can likely also get some of my existing pieces altered.

I forget about mom-hips... Maybe what I'll do as a compromise to myself is to just take hip and bust measurements and figure out if I need a waist measurement or if I can skip it since that'll be the most in flux.

I find myself resistant to the idea of now being a less sustainable phase (despite the inherent climate impact of having a kid at all, helloooo climate change anxiety) because of the pushback I've gotten from older women in my life on things like cloth diapering (first actual success was achieved yesterday!) and homemade food (don't need it yet but given my training and tools it's not a huge burden); I want to give a good-faith effort where I can, and recognize that I have the disposables and fast fashion options for when I need them. Stuff like this requires systems-level changes, but I can still contribute at the individual level. (Yes, the link is public health focused, but the strategy is the same).

To eotvos: depending on the origin, you might be looking at tobi pants or shalwar/patiala; there are other terms I can find if I dig more, but using those also two helped me refine my search.

Thank you all, again!
posted by OhHaieThere at 11:31 PM on December 29, 2022