That doesn't look very scary. More like a six-foot turkey.

November 2, 2022 1:12 PM

I have a 5 foot tall velociraptor in front of my house. Help me turn her into a passable turkey with minimum of effort and fabrication.

My girl is thick. That tutu I made in the above-linked photo is built off of an extra long belt (cinched to approx 49"), so it's not like I can just buy off the rack.

I'm thinking I can give a suggestion of turkey by affixing some kind of horrible wattle to her chin and a spray of feathers at her butt.

Mere feathers won't work, because of the scaling issue. And also that's a LOT of frickin feathers, and attached to what??? The belt framework worked great for the tutu, so I'm willing to revisit that as an attachment mechanism, but I'm not sure how to make anything do the majestic and gravity-defying classic turkey booty semicircle in a way that'll affix to a belt. OPEN TO ALL SUGGESTIONS.

If you've ever free-handed a wattle, what did you make it out of? I don't want to damage miss dino, so I'll probably secure whatever it ends up being to her chin around her teeth with some wire. Also definitely open to suggestions here.

All materials need to stand up to a Chicago November (damp, breezy, cold).

And it REALLY needs to read as a turkey costume from about 15-20 feet away. Definitely don't want anyone seeing feathers and thinking maybe it's a war bonnet and I'm leaning into the old pilgrims & indians theme of Thanksgiving.

posted by phunniemee to Home & Garden (32 answers total)

can you make 8-10 extremely large feathers out of felt/parachute material(?) and stiffening interfacing and then hotglue them to the belt to make the butt semicircle? i think if you kind of layered them you'd get the effect you're looking for, and if you make a pattern for the feathers it should go fairly quickly.

(i was trying to think of something water resistant or cheap enough that you wouldn't care about water damage.)
posted by koroshiya at 1:17 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

For the feathers you could make a giant hand tracing on brown butcher paper* & make it look like that ridiculous turkey we all had to draw.

Also red crepe paper streamers* could be the wattle.
*waterproofed as needed

I would probably put her in a big old fashioned brown dress from the thrift store to give her that big stately chest
posted by bleep at 1:24 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

I think a Pilgrim velociraptor would be easier to pull off with stuff you can just buy (hat, cape) and decent social commentary.

Turkeywise, are there dog or human costumes you could pillage for parts? If not, you can support the tail with a suitably hefty support inside, I'm thinking corrugated plastic like yard signs. A big box hardware store should have something appropriate. Attach feathers to front and rear and around the edges. Maybe cut some contact paper / sticky vinyl to stick on if you can find the right colors / size, maybe duct tape as a last resort. Same idea would work for a waddle (I'd drop by a craft store to get elastic to hold it on, to avoid scratching your lovely lady.) Your average pedestrian has no idea what a turkey waddle actually looks like, I might start big and cut it down until it looks good / do an image search for turkey clip art for guidance. A beak might help sell the costume (janky: aluminum foil with yellow duct tape on top, you can probably do better).

I love this. I love your clever girl. Way to make your neighborhood rule!
posted by momus_window at 1:35 PM on November 2, 2022 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: I'm thinking corrugated plastic like yard signs

Oh damn. Free range plastic corrugated yard signs are in season...
posted by phunniemee at 2:07 PM on November 2, 2022 [17 favorites]

When I draw a stick figure and I'm not convinced it's convincing, I add a speech bubble. Turkeys say "GOBBLE GOBBLE" (in Spanish, it's more of an onomotopoeia: "GLUGLú").
posted by aniola at 2:19 PM on November 2, 2022 [6 favorites]

For the wattle, how about a partially inflated red balloon or a classic whoopie cushion? Use some wire to twist it off into blobs and it should be reasonably weatherproof.

What if you made a half skirt out of turkey colored tulle? I'm thinking a one-foot long layer of orange tulle on top of a two-foot long layer of brown tulle, and snip the edges to make them look more feathery? Then thread some sturdy wires (like coat hangers) through to make the skirt stick out and use fishing line to hoist them upright and anchor it to her hands or neck. (I think the tulle would be permeable enough that it wouldn't immediately turn into a parasail...)
posted by yeahlikethat at 2:31 PM on November 2, 2022 [2 favorites]

The butt feathers could probably affix to a belt without too much trouble using either a staple gun or duct tape, and then bending 90 degrees at the base. Corrugated sign cardboard is a good idea for the material.

Also, if you can make some kind of wire headband-shaped harness, you could add some wings on the sides (harnessed just below the neck).

Finally i really like the idea of affixing a big obviously fake beak to the end of its nose so that it's definitely NOT a turkey, it's a dinosaur in a transparently bad turkey costume.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:33 PM on November 2, 2022 [4 favorites]

Maybe another tutu in brown, yellow & orange (or half a tutu) with something wrapped around the legs and feet to make them yellow (yellow tights?) A big red balloon or beach ball to cut out a wattle (do they still make those old red water bottles? )Maybe she could be holding an inflatable roast turkey in her mouth & wearing a Pilgrim hat.
posted by BoscosMom at 2:35 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

This is terrific! (How many trick-or-treaters stopped for pictures with that magnificent beast?)

- Petticoat concept: plastic cage hoop, "skirt" made of outdoor tablecloth printed with feathers or with the appropriate colors for a backdrop, with several real feathers sealed w/clear acrylic spray (or flex-seal) affixed to the cloth/tied to the belt? Anyone giving away an old lamp with an enormous lampshade?
- Wattles: not really like droopy rubber gloves (thanks, elementary school), but textured hot-water bottles/bladders came to mind
- Also wanted to say even a quarter-assed wattle sells with a snood hanging from the forehead & draping across the snout -- erm, beak.
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:37 PM on November 2, 2022

Check out the Macy's parade turkey; it's a pilgrim version of a turkey. You can riff off that, perhaps.
posted by mightshould at 2:53 PM on November 2, 2022 [2 favorites]

I think you don't want to start top down with feathers for the booty semicircle (hello my new sockpuppet name). I think you want to think bottom up (heh) with constructing something like a fan, attaching it to your girl, and then painting/sticking on things to look feather-esque. Basically, if you cut off the bottom half circle of the current tulle, you'd be in the ballpark. So a giant stiff and unheavy semicircle that you could stick to the belt - indeed yard sign plastic, but maybe even foam? Or half a hula hoop - the hoopskirt suggestion also makes me think of a chickenwire scaffold.
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 3:11 PM on November 2, 2022 [2 favorites]

The head says velociraptor. Can it be folded into itself and tied off to simulate a Turkey ready for roasting?
You could approximate paper frills that poncy folk put on roasted birds.
posted by theora55 at 3:23 PM on November 2, 2022

I just want to let you know that when I was a camp counselor, we told the children that the wild turkeys roaming the camp property were velociraptors. So I approve this project.

How well does the belt stay in place? I think feathers cut from discarded yard signs or foam, spray painted yellow/orange/red/brown as desired, and affixed to a piece of wire that could in turn be wired to the belt might work? But it depends on if the top of the belt will stay on top of the raptor.
posted by the primroses were over at 3:37 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Just to clarify, the idea is for this to be very obviously a velociraptor wearing a turkey costume, not to recreate a photorealistic whole bird using my dinosaur as a base!
posted by phunniemee at 3:45 PM on November 2, 2022 [2 favorites]

Take wire to make large feather blob shapes and then stretch pantyhose/tights over that (like how they make fairy wings for costumes) and spray paint to desired colors. You might even be able to put the wire through belt holes to help secure.
posted by raccoon409 at 3:49 PM on November 2, 2022 [3 favorites]

lose the tutu, add wattle etc. to head, loosely wrap with twine or string, place chef's hats on front claws
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:16 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'd just switch to a fall-colored tutu, and tie a bunch of large (uninflated) red balloons into a bouquet-type thing for the waddle.
posted by unknowncommand at 4:26 PM on November 2, 2022 [3 favorites]

I love the idea of the plastic cardboard signs as a base for construction. You can buy iridescent acrylics that show up really beautifully against dark backgrounds. So I would construct a the volumes in layers like a layered cake, spray them in earth or black colors then finish with the iridescent colors in detail, then apply them in sections to something flexible like a blanket or tarp that you can just pop over the sculpture like a saddle. that way you can work indoors most of the time until you finish. I love the idea of deflated balloons for the wattle, it's the perfect color and texture and easy to replace if needed.

Here is a clip of some tom turkeys driving a sheriff back into his car for sounds. They are so dino in this clip. I cued it up for you but if my mark doesn't work, it begins at 5:47; toms
posted by effluvia at 4:46 PM on November 2, 2022

The fact that turkeys likely share ancestry with T-Rex may be one motivation behind this question. One could edit the Jurassic Park logo with the logo of a common frozen turkey brand like Butterball. This could look like the word Butterball in place of “Jurassic Park” and an outline of frightening turkey standing in for the dinosaur. Place this new logo near any velociraptor display.
posted by mundo at 5:11 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

In addition to waddle and butt feathers, I'd probably do some arm feathers to make them wing-like. If you're going for the costume aesthetic, then a scalloped-edge solid piece of "fabric" that goes from wrist to wrist (attached with hair ties for maximum authenticity) should do the trick.
posted by DebetEsse at 5:25 PM on November 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

I know you’re looking to DIY her as much as possible, but I think her sweet turkey face would definitely benefit from having a teeny beak strapped to her nose.
posted by Mchelly at 6:14 PM on November 2, 2022 [7 favorites]

Truck nuts would make a good wattle, and also remove an eyesore from the highways.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:36 PM on November 2, 2022 [4 favorites]

Jurassic Turk
posted by wenestvedt at 6:37 PM on November 2, 2022 [2 favorites]

Agreeing with raccoon409. Build a wire open turkey tail fan first (if the weather is truly windy and awful, do a low unopened tail). Use black 2 x 4s to support it, then position your girl so that it looks like it is attached to the raptor butt. Basically if she steps away, the tail stays anchored in place.
Finally, add a few strategic feather details that catch as little breeze as possible but still say, "Turkey on the menu tonight!"
The pilgrim hat, drooping red wattle, and perhaps wings attached at the shoulders would round out the look of a renegade rotisserie escapee who truly does not want to be the other white meat this year.
posted by TrishaU at 2:25 AM on November 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

I don't have anything close to the arts and crafts chops to help you with the main problem but a cherry on top might be to put a placard around her neck reading FRIENDLY TURKEY or a childlike scrawl of IS TORK∃Y DUZNT BITE
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:53 AM on November 3, 2022 [4 favorites]

Also she is beautiful and grand and without wanting to dox you I sincerely hope that she appears on the google etc streetviews of your part of chicagoland
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:57 AM on November 3, 2022 [6 favorites]

Another option for the feathers is cutting a piece of styrofoam insulation into a fan shape and painting it. Glue or "sew" it to a belt.
posted by metasarah at 7:06 AM on November 3, 2022

I know it is more talky, but where in the world did you find this beautiful girl??
posted by _DB_ at 8:10 AM on November 3, 2022 [3 favorites]

You can get a giant metal wreath frame to use as a form for the corrugated sign feathers. My guess is that depending on how big you get it (and what gauge metal), you might be able to just slip it over her kind of like a bangle bracelet. Otherwise, it might be even better to kind of use a couple of big strips of cheap canvas or muslin made to look like it's tied under her belly like an apron costume.

I'd get a few of those ginormous latex balloons from Party City or wherever and use them as her waddle. Bonus points for inflating them first to stretch them out and then attaching them.

Definitely do the beak!!! I can't wait to see what you have up your sleeve for the rest of the holidays. :)


I SO wish you lived in my neighborhood!
posted by dancinglamb at 9:56 AM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

This whole project -- and thread -- is amazing, BTW.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:46 PM on November 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

My kind of yard bird! One of my neighbors had black plastic vampire flamingos, I covet.
I'd use the plastic campaign signs, hot glue to the belt with triangle supports in the back so it stays rigid if the wind catches it. Paint, seal against the weather, and I'm also liking the deflated turkey in its jaws. Maybe an empty cranberry sauce can in a claw?
Thank you for making the world a beautiful place!
posted by winesong at 3:51 PM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: By the time all my stuff came I didn't have the energy to make a turkey costume. But! I have supplies now so I can get ahead of it for next November.

Not to leave you wanting, I did finally manage to half ass some xmas decor.
posted by phunniemee at 9:30 AM on December 5, 2022 [8 favorites]