I call it “husband wax”
October 23, 2022 10:23 PM   Subscribe

My husband’s skin seems to exude some kind of substance that makes our bedsheets waxy. After being washed and then sitting in the closet for a while, the sheets even get a crayon-like smell. What is this substance, and how do we keep our sheets from accumulating it?

Relevant details:
Husband is generally a clean person with good hygiene. He leans a bit towards having oily skin rather than dry, but not unusually oily. He sweats an average amount. He showers with shower gel and washes his hair almost every day, although he sometimes skips weekend showers. He has short hair and doesn’t use hair products. He sleeps in only boxers sometimes and pajamas sometimes.

The pillowcases and sometimes the sheets eventually get a yellowish waxy stain from his skin / hair. His dress shirts sometimes do too (ring around the collar) although it’s not as noticeable.

The bedsheets get changed every 10 days or so.
We wash sheets in cold water with unscented Costco detergent, and dry in the tumble dryer. We don’t use fabric softener or static sheets. We have a lot of sheets, so the clean dry sheets might sit in the closet for a couple months before they’re next used.

When the sheets are first washed they feel clean. But after sitting folded in the closet, they get the waxy smell and the pillowcases feel waxy and stiff.

It’s not mildew, and it’s not from the closet itself (an ikea closet) - our clothing gets the exact same wash procedure and stays in the same closet and doesn’t get the crayon smell. And it’s not from me- when we slept separately for a while due to conflicting schedules, my sheets were fine and his still had it.

I did try “stripping” the sheets as per TikTok by soaking in a bath of hot water and Oxyclean and dish soap, and a bit of light brown stuff came out in the water. But after sitting in the closet for a few weeks, I could still smell the wax smell (although less). It was a giant pain in the ass and I have no intention of doing it ever again.

It’s also not super practical for us to do more chores or take more showers. We’re busy and our lifestyle generally works fine. But I’m willing to add another product or noninvasive laundry procedure to our lives. Something easy we can do without extra fuss.

(Also yes patriarchy etc, his problem not mine etc, but this is fine. I’m the one that notices it, but he is willing to clean the sheets in a different way, just need ideas for how!)

So - what can we do, at laundry level, to lessen the waxiness? Hotter water? Different soap?

Also, telling me I’m not alone in this husband wax experience would be nice too! I don’t want to talk about it with friends because it feels a bit disloyal. Am I alone?
posted by anonymous to Home & Garden (38 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
 
Although I don't personally have experience with this, if the internet has taught me anything, it has taught me that you are not alone in this experience.

The way you get candle wax out of a carpet is to put something wicking (such as newspaper or a rag) on top of the stain, and then to iron it. The wax re-melts, and is absorbed by the wick. It works like magic.

I experimented in my head with the idea of adding a wicking agent to the dryer, and then decided the most effective way would probably be to follow the carpet wax removal procedure but with sheets. This could be fussy or non-fussy, depends on whether you consider ironing to be a non-invasive laundry procedure. But I bet it would help.

OH!!! ENZYME CLEANER!!! Spray on and let sit. Gets rid of all natural stains in my experience. Personally I think this would be much easier than ironing.
posted by aniola at 10:46 PM on October 23, 2022


Here's an article that seems to exist just to say that there's a famous person who smells like crayons.
posted by aniola at 11:02 PM on October 23, 2022 [1 favorite]


I’d try washing them with hot water and a degreaser first. Washing soda, or even baking soda.
posted by clew at 11:12 PM on October 23, 2022 [10 favorites]


Husband wax is sebum and sweat, and the primary residual odorants are esters and aldehydes.

I hope it is somewhat reassuring to know that much scientific ink has been spilled on this topic. The related articles on the limited preview recommend higher temperatures but not lipase enzymes.
posted by dum spiro spero at 11:21 PM on October 23, 2022 [18 favorites]


Wash sheets more often, pre-treat with an enzyme cleaner (do this on the shirt collars, too), don't overload the washer, and use hot water.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:27 PM on October 23, 2022 [17 favorites]


Borax has the reputation of being able to remove waxy deposits from clothes.

Use hot water and a heavy duty detergent such as Tide (leaves a residue of very difficult to remove perfume) or Persil (?), the amount of Borax recommended on the box, and see what happens.
posted by jamjam at 11:42 PM on October 23, 2022 [3 favorites]


Wash the sheets with hot water, perhaps use a degreaser/stain remover a couple of times initially, and then change them weekly.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:46 AM on October 24, 2022 [1 favorite]


Many shower products have actual wax in them. If he has been using the same brand this whole time and you use something different, I might trial a change of product.
posted by Bottlecap at 12:52 AM on October 24, 2022 [8 favorites]


... the clean dry sheets might sit in the closet for a couple months before they’re next used. When the sheets are first washed they feel clean. But after sitting folded in the closet, they get the waxy smell and the pillowcases feel waxy and stiff.

Why so many sheets? Rotate though through a couple or three sets while they're freshly washed and feel clean. I would try hotter washes, you can put OxyClean sorts of things in with detergent.

Second the try a different body wash. Sorta like the Tide and complicated things like dryer sheets and fabric softener tend to leave a residue that sticks around because it's made to stick around through washing/rinsing/drying.
posted by zengargoyle at 1:29 AM on October 24, 2022 [8 favorites]


I had this problem when we stored sheets in the linen closet; we downsized recently and got rid of all but two sets of sheets, which we rotate (one in the wash, one on the bed). Our sheets no longer smell or feel waxy. No idea why but it seems like washing them more often helps.
posted by third word on a random page at 2:00 AM on October 24, 2022


I would also try adding a tablespoon of Dawn dishwashing liquid to the hot wash; it is an astounding degreaser.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:13 AM on October 24, 2022 [5 favorites]


I get this on my sheets and sometimes white cotton undershirts and dress shirt collars and cuffs. Washing hot seems to do the trick for me.
posted by carrioncomfort at 3:15 AM on October 24, 2022 [1 favorite]


You aren't alone. I notice the same thing in our house with my husband. Your post is helpful, gives me some ideas about how to treat it. I tried laundry stripping, but since we don't have in- unit laundry and it's a hassle. Thanks for asking this question!
posted by Guess What at 3:58 AM on October 24, 2022


Rather than doing the stripping step as a hand wash, you could try it in the machine—run on hot, add Oxyclean. It may do less in a single run but if you wash the sheets that way every time it may remove more stuff eventually.

I wash sheets and towels on hot and add vinegar to the load for similar reasons, and it’s a pretty low-effort way of getting them cleaner.

He could improve the ring around the collar by applying some dish soap or stain stick as a pretreatment. I’ve had good luck with clothes of mine that got funky that way.
posted by tchemgrrl at 4:13 AM on October 24, 2022


You can "strip" your laundry by adding a scoop of OxiClean laundry & home sanitizer to every wash and use warm water. It does wonders for our gym and dog smells and residue. You might also experiment with adding white vinegar to each load.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 5:00 AM on October 24, 2022


Y'all please stop adding vinegar to your cleaning when you need a base. The only reason stuff like oxiclean WORKS is because it's basic. It's lye for babies. You add acid to it and you're going to just neutralize out all the active ingredient.

Body funk is oils and proteins. You need to create an alkaline solution to strip that out. Something with a pH of like 10-11.

While y'all are at it, stop telling people to clean with a vinegar + baking soda solution. Water. You're making water.
posted by phunniemee at 5:18 AM on October 24, 2022 [53 favorites]


Re: vinegar and baking soda- the foaming reaction between the two convinces people it's Doing Something.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 6:02 AM on October 24, 2022 [5 favorites]


Definitely wash on hot and although you don't want to use it all the time, I occasionally run some things with the Tide Sport detergent - it has Febreeze which makes me itch, so I do an extra rinse, but it really is the best thing I've found for lifting scents from things. I have non-natural-fiber polo shirts for work and they need this kind of thing from time to time.
posted by warriorqueen at 6:13 AM on October 24, 2022


You don't mention but -- if he's sleeping skin on sheets, he should be showering right before bed. Every day. Every time. I don't want to be too judgy, but the role of bed sheets is not to absorb a day's worth of crufty skin grime ten days in a row. That's what underclothes are for. If you want to treat sheets like underwear, you better change them once a day. If he's not into it, he can wear PJs.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:33 AM on October 24, 2022 [8 favorites]


First I want to say don't put dish soap in your laundry washing machine unless you enjoy mopping. Especially if it's a HE machine that needs even less suds than normal laundry detergent.

I'd at least try washing in hot water and try a stronger detergent. Tide has a great rep for a reason so it seems to me it's worth buying a little bit to try even if you don't want to use it for all your clothes. (Free and clear if you're sensitive to the chemicals/fragrances or think you might be).
posted by Lady Li at 6:45 AM on October 24, 2022 [4 favorites]


I don’t know why nobody ever uses ammonia in laundry anymore. It will cut grease on fabric just like it does on the exhaust hood in your kitchen. Just be sure not to kill yourself mixing it with bleach.
posted by HotToddy at 7:07 AM on October 24, 2022 [2 favorites]


Have you tried to see what happens when you dry clean the sheets? If that works, you'll have an answer: non-aqueous solvents (which are scarier and might not be worth the trouble).
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 7:43 AM on October 24, 2022


>I don’t know why nobody ever uses ammonia in laundry anymore.

Okay wait WHAT IS AMMONIA? I read about it and I know it's in windex but I've never seen a product labelled as just "ammonia". How toxic is it? Would someone just like, pour some straight into the washer? Will it wreck the clothes like bleach so it needs to be specially diluted or something? What does the packaging look like? Isn't it like... toxic and can gas up your house and kill you by inhalation? And also smells like old pee? Magazines always say it's an essential part of cleaning my home but I literally have never seen it anywhere nor do I know anyone who talks about using it. Sorry to hijack but these questions have been brewing in me for decades
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:27 AM on October 24, 2022 [3 favorites]


Okay wait WHAT IS AMMONIA?

It's a base with a pH of about 12. More basic than oxiclean, less basic than lye. Add a long splash to your laundry just like you would do using liquid bleach. (But not at the same time as bleach.) You can just buy it by the bottle, like bleach. They usually tuck it down in the ugly bottom corner of the household goods section.
posted by phunniemee at 8:32 AM on October 24, 2022 [4 favorites]


But not at the same time as bleach.

This should not be parenthetical. MIXING BLEACH AND AMMONIA CAN KILL YOU.
posted by madcaptenor at 8:42 AM on October 24, 2022 [14 favorites]


MIXING BLEACH AND AMMONIA CAN KILL YOU.
A friend of mine cleaned her cat urine soaked basement floor with bleach. The resultant vapors we’re enough to cause very red, watery eyes and a quick lesson in working in a well ventilated area. Urine has ammonia, and when ammonia and bleach are mixed together, the bleach breaks down into hydrochloric acid. The hydrochloric acid then reacts with the ammonia to produce chloramine vapours. These vapours are extremely toxic and can be fatal if inhaled.

But, getting waxy body secretions out of sheets will not encounter this issue, so I would add it to my wash no problem, I just wouldn’t mix it with bleach, or a lot of urine.

BTW my husband showers every night before bed and his side of the bed gets yellow. I shower in the morning, if that, and no yellow. I wonder if it’s testosterone related. He still uses the same down pillow from childhood and refuses to wash it. It’s very yellow, but he’s worried it will disintegrate? I’m going to call it crayon pillow from now on.
posted by waving at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2022 [2 favorites]


I would change sheets every week (let him do it maybe) and agree he should shower at night.

Does he use a loofah or scrub of any kind? That might help also.
posted by emjaybee at 9:13 AM on October 24, 2022


I use a cup of vinegar in each load, but, crucially, put it in only for the final rinse. That way it doesn't neutralize the high-pH detergent and make both ineffective, as phunniemee rightly warns against.

My washing machine has a handy dispenser for fabric softener which adds the vinegar at the right stage. My dad's lacks this, so he either adds the vinegar just as the final rinse is starting, or he lets the load finish, adds the vinegar, and then sets the dial back just to repeat the final rinse.

I don't know if this helps with waxy body oils on the sheets, but it helps so much with other laundry issues, such as whether the sheets or towels develop a smell of mildew later. And my point is just that this is how to use vinegar in the laundry.
posted by metonym at 9:56 AM on October 24, 2022 [6 favorites]


I’m the one who makes the sheets yellow in our household, and i’m also the one who does the laundry; Borax prewash, regular detergent, hot water works for me. Also I use vinegar in the ‘fabric softener’ stage.
posted by Admiral Viceroy at 10:31 AM on October 24, 2022 [3 favorites]


Oh also! Wearing a t-shirt while sleeping helps a lot.
posted by Admiral Viceroy at 10:33 AM on October 24, 2022 [2 favorites]


Rubbing alcohol dissolves wax (bees wax, candle wax, ear wax), although I don't know whether using it in laundry will work.
posted by needs more cowbell at 10:33 AM on October 24, 2022


PineSol and Lestoil are great at taking greasy spots out of laundry, which I learned from a foul bachelor of my acquaintance. I add a couple ounces to a quarter cup per load or just use a generous amount to spot treat.
posted by momus_window at 12:10 PM on October 24, 2022 [3 favorites]


Is there a reason why you use cold water only? I'm fairly obsessive about energy consumption reduction but the cold water wasn't cutting it for my clothes (I am a bit oily like your spouse I think). I now do warm water speed washes for everything but my most fragile clothing. I don't think it's necessary to use hot water for this, however.

I also think the tumble dry is maybe making it harder to get the sebum out in subsequent washes by baking it into the sheets. If you can, use your shower curtain rod to air dry your sheets (stick a fan in there if your bathroom doesn't get good ventilation or you live in a humid climate).

I'm a big believer in oxiclean and similar, so would echo those who suggest using it each time you wash the sheets.

Lastly I think those who say you should use fewer sheets (2 sets? 3 sets maximum) and rotate them more often are probably on to something as well.
posted by spamandkimchi at 12:11 PM on October 24, 2022 [1 favorite]


In our house, it is also a weird yellow color. You can distinctly tell who sleeps on which side of our bed. On the upside it makes it easier to tell if I've gotten it all.

I use oxiclean every time, and sometimes it takes two washes if I don't use at least warm water (which I normally don't on any other clothes, so I forget to switch it).

In my case it went all the way through to the mattress cover, and to not have to wash that over and over I started putting a washable waterproof pad between sheet and cover in the torso zone. I also put allergy-proof pillow covers underneath the pillowcases.

It does not seem to matter the season or the amount of showering. It wasn't always like this I'm pretty sure (or at least it didn't go to the mattress pad up until maybe 3 years ago), but then again for many years I used solid sage green sheets. I didn't realize how distinctive it was until I switched to patterned sheets with a white background.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:25 PM on October 24, 2022


I use hot water and oxyclean when I wash my sheets. I'd say to soak them in oxyclean for a day or two and then do a hot water wash with another scoop of it.
posted by bluedaisy at 3:32 PM on October 24, 2022


There is also actual wax in fabric softener. If you use it, the smell degrades and leaves you with only the waxy smell.
posted by Bottlecap at 12:04 AM on October 25, 2022


Sebum is pretty complex, consisting mainly of dead cells and a mixture of lipids:
Sebocytes undergo a maturation process followed by a cell type specific cell death. This procedure results in the holocrine secretion of a composite substance called sebum.1,2 Sebum is primarily composed of cell debris and nonpolar (neutral) lipids, namely triglycerides, wax esters, squalene, cholesterol and free fatty acids.3,4 Notably the sebum composition is species-specific, human sebum is dominantly made up of triglycerides and fatty acids adding up to 57.5% of total lipids, followed by wax esters (26%), squalene (12%) and cholesterol (4.5%).5
So plenty of wax.

The crayon smell is interesting. All the references I could find attributed it to stearic acid, which is produced by some bacteria, but is also an important anti-microbial.

And the way it develops in the linen closet makes me think you’re dealing with an active biofilm which is capable of surviving your washing regime, and produces a crayon smell as the bacteria in the biofilm volatilize the stearic acid which would otherwise interfere with their growth. I had a lot of trouble cleaning a cotton sleeping bag liner that was too fragile to machine wash until I put it in a basket and steamed it thoroughly in a big pot. After that it came completely clean with desultory hand washing, and I think that was because the steaming killed the bacteria which were holding the biofilm together.
posted by jamjam at 2:05 PM on October 25, 2022


Hmm. I also produce this "husband wax". I've always just taken it as a fact of life that sheets get stiff and waxy after few years, and pillowcases even sooner.

I didn't understand why my wife was so upset by waxy sheets, because I though that's just how sheets go.

This thread has given me a lot to think about. I do all the laundry in our house, so I have the freedom to experiment with the solutions you all have suggested.
posted by nemo_sum at 11:54 PM on February 19, 2023


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