Zero-effort foods

October 22, 2022 6:31 AM

I need some recommendations for zero-effort foods that I can eat. When I say zero effort, I mean open a tin or unwrap a packet. I can sometimes microwave something if I'm having a good day, but I often can't. (I'm mostly bedbound.)

I've been living on
Almond milk;
rice crackers;
cheddar cheese;
nori seaweed;
unsalted cashews

but I feel that there's more options I'm missing. I'm open to eggs, dairy, and fish but would prefer to avoid meat.

Low FODMAP, no-onion, and no-citrus, are preferred. (Food intolerances.)

posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries to Food & Drink (42 answers total)

peeled hard-boiled eggs (many stores sell bags of those)
ahi tuna jerky and salmon jerky
yogurt / kefir (lactose-free if you need)
instant rice can be eaten cold out of the bag, in principle
posted by virve at 6:40 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Ensure

You are at the point where you want to guarantee your nutrition on the bad days
posted by Easy problem of consciousness at 6:41 AM on October 22, 2022 [28 favorites]

Expensive but, a pound of shelled, cooked shrimp and a dish of cocktail sauce.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:54 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

We've been using a powder mix called Huel for when we need low effort food - add water and shake. Take care ❤️
posted by PistachioRoux at 6:55 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Sardine on crackers? There are many different types. You can eat them from the can.

But yes, if there was ever a need for Ensure, you have it. Here we can get a similar product but as a delicious ice-cream. Does anyone know the American equivalent? Here it is called SKEE. Maybe you need something that feels fresh in the mouth?
posted by mumimor at 7:11 AM on October 22, 2022 [3 favorites]

Is it possible, within your budget, to get tabletop hot water dispensers? You can then get into hot soups and noodles options.
posted by cendawanita at 7:15 AM on October 22, 2022 [8 favorites]

Granola? The kind with big clusters so you can just pop em in your mouth.

Your favorite crunchy snack dipped into yogurt.

Cheese is good. Smoked gouda? Brie? Butter and crackers?

Dried fruit.
posted by credulous at 7:15 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

the American equivalent?

Sorry, Australian, obviously
posted by mumimor at 7:16 AM on October 22, 2022

I'm not sure if they're available in Australia, but I find Pure Protein bars and Builders bars to be fine (so long as I have a glass of water on hand) and they've got more protein than your average granola bar.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:22 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

You can buy shelled, hard-boiled eggs pre-packaged ("hard cooked" in retail language). Target carries them here.

And those plus a can of tuna, and an appropriate bagged salad is something approximating a nicoise salad. (Add canned beans and etc if you want to get closer.)

Sliced cheeses other than cheddar. If making a grilled/melted cheese sandwich is too much work, cold sliced cheese is more palatable as a croissant sandwich. A lot of markets sell the mini-croissants in plastic clamshells which will keep a few days in the fridge.

Cottage cheese or cream cheese on or with whatever you like with it. (Similarly mascarpone, ricotta, etc). Lox and bagels with cream cheese, for instance. Or you can just stir up ricotta and fruit preserves in a bowl.

Do you have a toaster oven? There's a lot that can be done just slapping things on a sheet of tinfoil with some seasoning and/or sauce right out of the bottle and cooking them in there, on the days you'd feel up to using the microwave.

So far as the microwave goes, if you haven't seen it before Barbara Kafka's Microwave Gourmet is very useful. Used copies are cheap.

Most of the recipes in these books will probably be too involved but might still be worth looking through:

Cucina Fresca - any edition is fine, this is the one I have and its subtitle was more explicit about being 'room temperature' recipes. The current edition says 'simple' or something like that instead.

A Twist of the Wrist -- Nancy Silverton's pantry-based cookbook. What she thinks is simple often isn't, but the section that talks about all the things beyond the basics that can be bought canned or jarred and how to best use them is helpful on its own.

Sous vide might also be worth looking into, not for the usual stuff that requires finishing with a sear, but for things that can be reheated or cooked in their packaging that way. The way airliners and etc used it before it became popular.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:25 AM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

Apples, bananas, grapes, add blueberries to yogurt, roasted almonds, cottage cheese, cheese sticks, premade smoothies (e.g. Odwalla chocolate protein shake).

If you had a toaster near your bed could you make toast?
posted by pinochiette at 7:26 AM on October 22, 2022 [4 favorites]

Most tinned food can be eaten straight out of the tin - even soups and such. Texture may be a bit grainy because fat may be solid at room temperature and needs heat to melt again. But it’s all cooked and safe to eat. Anything more processed than fruit, veg, fish in brine is probably not low fodmap. But at least know that you can do that and that probably opens a lot more options.
posted by koahiatamadl at 7:33 AM on October 22, 2022 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: If you had a toaster near your bed could you make toast?

pinochiette, The main barrier to toast is that I haven't found a bread that I can eat - for medical reasons I am not allowed to eat bread that is fortified with added Thiamine/Vitamin B1,

and by law Thiamine/Vitamin B1 is required to be added to bread-making flours in Australia, except organic products.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:39 AM on October 22, 2022

Dried fruit.

Including the freeze-dried chips kind. Also, see if you can find dried vegetables and dried beans too, for nutrients and fiber and so forth.

I sometimes need similarly low-effort things and I've found that solutions are often really location- (or even store-) specific - there'll often be some perfect product I can get at one place that I can't find anywhere else. Just in case you haven't done this already, I'd try to do a really thorough online item-by-item inspection of the places you can order from to see if you can find any unexpected products that'll fit the bill.

Would a microwave and/or mini-fridge near your bed be possible and make any difference?
posted by trig at 8:04 AM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

Sorry, I missed that low FODMAPS might rule out most beans. That said, it looks like there are some low-FODMAPS nuts.
posted by trig at 8:11 AM on October 22, 2022

Can you get single-serving applesauce cups? Those wouldn't have to be refrigerated, and you could just keep them by your bed.
posted by FencingGal at 8:20 AM on October 22, 2022 [5 favorites]

The supermarket deli tub section could be good - olives, marinated artichokes, roasted capsicum strips or even easier premixed tubs.

If you like tinned tuna, there's a bunch out now that are already mixed with things and you just open the can and eat as is.

Laughing cow cheese wedges.

The pre-cut carrot sticks from the veg section, although with any of the other prepped veg you are happy to eat raw (snow peas?)

Little boxes of sultanas, for added primary school nostaglia.
posted by Adifferentbear at 8:50 AM on October 22, 2022

Canned peas - pour out the liquid, add a spoonful of mayo. Eat with the mayo spoon. (I usually rinse them, but you can totally skip that for extra low effort.) Use the mayo for the tuna too, bit of fat helps the protein absorb. Mayo is all right for quite a few hours outside the fridge as long as it's in a closed jar, though I agree a bedside fridge would expand your options, as would a bedside microwave.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 9:44 AM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

I don't think it's out yet but a friend put together a BOOK of low-effort foods.
posted by less-of-course at 10:11 AM on October 22, 2022 [5 favorites]

a bedside fridge would expand your options

This would definitely be the thing I'd add if you are currently relying only on non-perishables.
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:15 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Would a mini-fridge near your bed be possible and make any difference?

I can make it to the fridge 2 or 3 times a day, a bedroom fridge wouldn't make any difference.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:31 AM on October 22, 2022

FRUIT
Firm bananas ... but maybe not since you said low-fodmap-no-onion which implies to me maybe especially not fructans. I don't really know about the fructan status of anything else here, i just know about bananas because I have an anecdote about someone I know eating pounds of dried bananas in one sitting and learning about fructans the hard way. These are from low-fodmap lists.
blueberries
dried coconut
kiwis or kiwi berries, non-fuzzy means you can eat the skin
canned pineapple
raspberries
strawberries

NUTS
macadamias
peanuts, peanut butter
pumpkin seeds/pepitas
walnuts

DESSERT
dark chocolate

VEGETABLES
green beans can be eaten straight
green capsicum (bell pepper) - some people eat these straight
baby carrots
cucumber, pickles

PROCESSED THINGS
Dolmas (come in cans)
posted by aniola at 11:10 AM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

> Odwalla chocolate protein shake

No longer being made, sadly, but Optimum Nutrition has a chocolate whey powder that, when mixed with milk, tastes exactly like it. It's my favorite protein powder, and is fine (if a bit of an acquired taste) when mixed with just water.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:24 AM on October 22, 2022

I take back the dolmas, they probably usually have onion.

kale chips, depending on the non-kale ingredients in kale chips near you.
posted by aniola at 11:25 AM on October 22, 2022

Sirena Tuna, at Coles and Woolworths has ready made meals with quinoa, they were decently tasty and don't need heating up. They have other varieties too, like with pasta and beans. https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/801522/sirena-brown-rice-quinoa-with-tuna

I believe John West also does some in various flavours also, also being able to be eaten cold but they add vitamins to them so may not be ideal.
https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/167239/john-west-protein-vitamin-b12-tuna-bowl-couscous-rice-tomato-onion

If you feel up to microwave, I recommend the super nature meals--wellness bowls, they often have low meat options, are quite tasty and fresh. Pricey though but Aldi does make a knockoff of them that are also good.

Likewise stream fresh vegetables, they have flavoured ones with fish, and also rice, but there are also plain vegetables that are surprisingly good just on their own and don't need anything doing to them except microwaving for 3 or so minutes.

If you don't mind eating chicken, Mt Barker has ready to eat roast chicken that you can eat cold from the packet. It's pricey but tasty and they give you a decent amount. Not sure if they have it in your part of Aus but there are other brands that I think do them, including Moira Mac If you can eat wraps (not sure if wraps are fortified with thiamine) you can add cheese and the chicken and it's a decent meal that you don't really need to do much to it. It's nice even without condiments.

Hope that helps a bit
posted by Dimes at 12:02 PM on October 22, 2022

Seconding the 'living out of a can' point. Fruit like peaches and pears is fine - I'd get the stuff in juice, but your choice - and spaghetti in sauce has its own charm. This is all traditional lazy college student food. If you go this way remember that it's probably heavy on salt and light in vitamins, and try and balance that out a bit with whatever else you eat; read the labels.

Do not eat a large can of pineapple unless you want to shred your mouth. Pineapple contains a meat tenderiser and your mouth is made of meat. I speak from experience.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 12:04 PM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

Do they have those single serving 100% avocado and/or guacamole packets? You can freeze them, and they’re full of calories.
posted by Melismata at 12:18 PM on October 22, 2022

Response by poster: Firm bananas ... but maybe not since you said low-fodmap-no-onion which implies to me maybe especially not fructans. I don't really know about the fructan status of anything else here, i just know about bananas because I have an anecdote about someone I know eating pounds of dried bananas in one sitting and learning about fructans the hard way

Yeah, unless bananas are *only just ripe* they're a migraine trigger for me. (Because of the Amines)
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:23 PM on October 22, 2022

You don't seem to be getting any cooked vegetables. One thing I didn't eat for decades, maybe they didn't have it where I used to live, but I eat sometimes now, is frozen (mostly) vegetable dishes, which they carry where I live now (and they aren't bad). For microwave days only, and obviously a lot of them will have onion.
posted by melamakarona at 12:36 PM on October 22, 2022

Cucumbers and hummus
Sliced apple and cheese
Yogurt? Natural peanut butter? Olives? Edemame?
Tinned fruit
If you have supermarket or grocery store deliveries, fresh foods like pre-mixed pasta salads can provide variety you can just pull from the fridge.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:22 PM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Baby carrots and/or cherry tomatoes, with tahini or nut butter (or precut celery/other crudites, if your local supermarkets do these and they are affordable); arugula/rocket straight out of the bag; roasted pumpkin seeds; dried figs, medjool dates, or other dried fruits that work for you; spoons of tahini or nut butter.

Many vegetables are simple to eat straight out of the hand, and we don’t only because of social convention: I eat bell peppers like apples, but you can also chaw your way through a cucumber this way (if mini cucumbers are available, those are even easier, but they go bad more quickly). Raw zucchini is wildly underrated (c r o n c h), and goes really well with nuts (or dipped in nut butter).

Nthing protein bars and shakes - often they also include some supplementary vitamins/minerals, which is really helpful.

On microwave days, or if an electric kettle is feasible, instant oatmeal?
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 1:28 PM on October 22, 2022 [5 favorites]

Also a note live from my living room: I “drink” pumpkin seeds or shelled pistachios out of a juice glass sometimes, which might be a helpful strategy for not having to invest energy in washing hands after eating.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 2:13 PM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Also a note live from my living room: I “drink” pumpkin seeds or shelled pistachios out of a juice glass sometimes, which might be a helpful strategy for not having to invest energy in washing hands after eating

I'm quite prone to choking, so that'd be dangerous for me - but I use either a spoon or disposable vinyl gloves for eating rather than bare hands.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 3:51 PM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Jarred roasted bell peppers/capsicums
posted by aniola at 5:06 PM on October 22, 2022

Oh, but I'm belatedly realizing you may have intentionally left jars off the list. (If you or someone reading this thread in the future have trouble with jars and don't already know about them, there's a variety of tools for opening jars with levers on them for added leverage.)
posted by aniola at 5:09 PM on October 22, 2022

Salsa, corn chips, avocado/ guacamole
Rice cakes & hummus
Plain rice & kimchi
Cottage cheese & canned peaches or pineapple
Canned chickpeas, cottage cheese, salad dressing
Plain whole milk yogurt, canned peaches, honey
Oatmeal - in a large bowl, microwave oatmeal; with extra water on 30% power for 16 minutes. It doesn't boil over and doesn't require attention, just time. I add brown sugar and usually have some almonds and dried apricots on the side.
Combine 1 can corn, 1 can black beans, 1 cans' worth of salsa. I like this with fresh cilantro and lime, but it's still good on its own.
Canned baked beans, crackers on the side. I add a small amount of cider vinegar to baked beans; it's a regional thing.
Canned beets with a splash of vinegar.
Canned green beans with salad dressing, usually something like a vinaigrette.
Peanut butter & marmite & crackers or rice cakes. Ok, vegemite.
Fresh spinach and other veg. can be dipped in lemon juice or ranch dressing. If you need more calories, ranch dressing.

When you have enough energy to use a microwave, baked sweet or white potatoes take time(10 minutes) but not effort. Add butter. Sour cream is a great addition.

Frozen vegetables are easy to heat; add grated cheese, butter, tasty salad dressing, or lemon juice.

I didn't check fodmap info, sorry if this isn't useful; these are things I eat when I have very limited food prep energy. I'd check to see if any home care, church or other organization might help with a visitor once or twice a week to prep some very easy meals. It sounds like your health issues are really taking it out of you; I wish you the best.
posted by theora55 at 10:17 PM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

electric kettle + oatmeal
cereal
(corn) tortillas
maybe certain gluten free options?
posted by oceano at 4:18 PM on October 23, 2022

Various fruit and vegetable juices that meet your requirements, especially any that have left the fiber in.
posted by aniola at 7:50 PM on October 23, 2022

We really like the Daily Harvest smoothies, but they also have protein balls that make a great meal replacement. I eat them for breakfast most days. They have different varieties, so hopefully they have some options that fit your food requirements.
posted by bluloo at 8:45 AM on October 24, 2022

Embrace convenience foods. Pretty much all grocery stores I visit these days have pre-washed, pre cut fruits and veggies you can buy in containers or trays. On the low fodmap list I see berries, melon, banana, kiwi, and grapefruit, all of which my grocery store will sell pre-cut. Heck, buy a party sized veggie tray and go to town on carrots, celery, bell peppers, or whatever pre-cut veggies with the dip of your choice.
posted by decathecting at 9:50 PM on October 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

Another idea is the frozen ice cream/ice block route. Lots of vegie and fruit options these days for example. These days at my local Coles/Woolies you can even get extra calcium ones. Good for the weather here and you can put them back/re freeze them if you cant finish it.
posted by Lesium at 3:12 AM on October 25, 2022

I keep thinking about this thread, chariot pulled by cassowaries.

Your situation sounds really tough; I hope some of these ideas help improve it.

On the off chance there might ever be someone else available to help prep things (and maybe freeze them in portions?) that might enable some further suggestions.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:40 PM on October 25, 2022 [3 favorites]