Addressing Constructive Feedback in Year-End Review

October 3, 2022 11:50 AM

'Tis the season for annual reviews, and one of the questions we have to answer in our self-reviews is, "Where did you fall short this year?" This is a new job (1 year) and in addition to a rough start I'm going through a slight sour patch right now re: communication and tact when commenting on or questioning administrative decisions. I'm pretty sure it'll be considered poor form if I don't address those things in my answer to this prompt, so how do I do it?

Essentially all my feedback from managers this year has been to tone down the feisty/forceful and to "set a better example for younger coworkers" through more tactful comments when addressing concerns about changes in policy, strategy, etc. There has been some serious churn at my company and some of it has been problematic. It's not that I'm not allowed to say critical things, it's just that I'm not saying it in a way that invites solutions.

I am senior/lead level and my bosses have directly asked me to use my level of influence to help soothe my peers' fears and model how to voice thoughts without sounding accusatory. This is fair, and something I do need to work on, although it's interesting to get that feedback when I'm getting little notes from coworkers about how grateful they are that I speak up in meetings and articulate things so well. 🙃 Hero to the people, heretic to certain members of the managerial class.

Anyway, it feels really gross to have to deal with this from the lens of having "fallen short" in some way. I'm human. Communication is hard. Yes, I'm senior. Yes, I know I need to set a good example. Yes, I haven't been doing that consistently. So how do I say that eloquently without it sounding like I'm admitting to serious moral failings?

Thank you.

posted by The Adventure Begins to Work & Money (12 answers total)

Hah, been there, although not when I was senior. I just basically said "I need to find more effective ways to communicate my position in meetings with production." Because, as my (very good and patient) manager pointed out, it's not that I was wrong, it's that I was doing a shit job of convincing anyone because of my tone.

And yeah, there's three thousand things wrong with that situation, I was young and female on the most misogynist team in a male-dominated company, my boss figured out pretty quickly that moving me to a different team was the way to go and maybe the AP's wife would have more luck with them, but in terms of getting the paperwork done and acknowledging the friction, that was the framing we could all live with.
posted by restless_nomad at 11:58 AM on October 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'd suggest you reframe this in your own thinking.

I train my leadership team that the level of respect they demonstrate in all their interactions - up, down, and sideways - is the level of respect that will be set in the organization, period. The newest member of the team is learning what's acceptable. From my perspective, it's not about whether you are "admitting" to serious moral failings. You're not aligning your communication with your values -- something that, as you said, is very human.

So I'd suggest you say "In giving feedback this year I have sometimes fallen short of aligning how I am communicating with both the goal of that communication and also in treating everyone on the team with respect and calm." Or something like that.

Just as a side note - people who cheer you on are great and I am not there. I think you are likely speaking truth to power. However, sometimes when people cheer us on for speaking up articulately, they are more enjoying the show/payback/dealing with their own stuff - and may not be thinking about what it would mean if all the meetings or all the discussions went like that. It doesn't always mean that we're actually doing the work of leading that we should be. If the feedback is coming only from above, same thing.
posted by warriorqueen at 11:59 AM on October 3, 2022 [11 favorites]

You haven't fallen short, you are eager to bring focus to your strengths in the coming year.

You want to develop your team relationships in order to increase trust and lead from the front. You're looking forward to growing your skills at delivering actionable feedback and being a better steward of [company's] vision and purpose for your more junior teammates.
posted by phunniemee at 12:03 PM on October 3, 2022 [17 favorites]

Speaking up is only really helpful if it brings change. Sometimes the inflammatory rhetoric does that, especially if the speaker has little structural power to make the needed changes themselves. But as you get further and further up in an organization, you start having the power to actually make changes. At least more so than the people who are reporting to you. It makes me really angry when leaders higher up in the hierarchy act like complaining is some revolutionary act, rather than actually doing the work of using their power to make actual improvements. Which requires some degree of collaboration and strategic thinking about how to be effective in making actual improvements.

So maybe think about what you can change to get stuff done. Not because what you've been saying is wrong, but just because it's not an effective way to lead change. How can you start actually leading change, even if it's "leading from behind" to convince people even further up the chain to do things? You have more access and power to do that than your staff does, so it's your responsibility to start doing that.
posted by lapis at 12:09 PM on October 3, 2022 [8 favorites]

And even if you're not higher up on the official ladder, it sounds like you have more social capital than newer peers. So again, think about strategic ways to use it, and make that the focus. I like the suggestions on focusing on how you're communicating.
posted by lapis at 12:11 PM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

This past year I have heard essential feedback about my communication skills and in the next year will be focusing on being more strategic in communicating, especially in meetings with junior colleagues.

Do you also want advice on how to do this? I think if you're senior lead, your job in these meetings is not to question the bosses. I think your job is probably more to listen. The bosses may be more open to your questions and concerns when it's not in front of junior folks. Write notes with those questions to ask later, or sit on your hands and zip your lips. I don't think the point of this meeting is likely for you to interact with this level but for the junior folks to be in a meeting with the big wigs.

Also warrior queen is exactly right. Yes, those folks are grateful. They're also enjoying the zingers and the fact that they don't have to put themselves out there.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:14 PM on October 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: However, sometimes when people cheer us on for speaking up articulately, they are more enjoying the show/payback/dealing with their own stuff - and may not be thinking about what it would mean if all the meetings or all the discussions went like that. It doesn't always mean that we're actually doing the work of leading that we should be. If the feedback is coming only from above, same thing.

Oof, didn't think about it like that. Thank you.
posted by The Adventure Begins at 12:30 PM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

I think you should reframe your relationship to the year-end review. On the spectrum of meaningfulness, a year-end review is either a tool to set bonuses (in some jobs), to a bureaucratic process done annually because all employers do it, to a tool of HR to gather intel on staff for punitive reasons. In let's say 99.999% of the time, it is not intended to be a description of truth or a reflection of your actual work character. There's no moral failings in a year-end review.

I think your smartest bet is to model your ability to hear your superiors, and just mirror back what they told you: "I will tone down the feisty/forceful and to "set a better example for younger coworkers" through more tactful comments when addressing concerns about changes in policy, strategy, etc."

Whether or not you adjust your stridency during future meetings probably depends on the import and content of those meetings.
posted by RajahKing at 12:36 PM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]

You haven't fallen short, you are eager to bring focus to your strengths in the coming year.

This. I don't know how your review process is structured, but would it work for you to address this issue not in the "how I fell short" section, but rather as a "goal for 2023" or looking forward section? That way you could talk about it in terms of not how you were imperfect, but rather in terms of how in the coming year you want to foster better communication and positivity with junior staff, maintain a results-focused environment, etc. (i.e., using all the words that your supervisors have been using with you).

Then for the "how I fell short" section, you can pick something more innocuous, like you didn't meet your goal of encouraging more of your teammates to join the company health challenge, or some work target where you came kind of close but didn't meet the mark.

I think of these review questions as being kind of like a job interview, like the cliche of answering a question about your greatest fault with "Sometimes I work too hard." You want to mirror back what they need to hear, and be just honest enough without exposing yourself with an unnecessary level of transparency.
posted by Dip Flash at 1:07 PM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

There has been some serious churn at my company and some of it has been problematic.

Well, who among us hasn't underestimated the effect this sort of upheaval would inflict on the day-to-day workings of the company? Pandemic-driven uncertainty only makes it worse. This low-level radiation was obvious, when you considered their thoughtful feedback. Going forward, you'll be sensitive to its impact on your communication style, as well as the impact on your younger colleagues.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:58 PM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]

Maybe something like this: One thing I’m proud of is that people feel safe coming to me when there are issues at their level. My goal for 2023 is to work to keep finding solutions that can improve our culture and processes for people at all levels of the org.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:38 AM on October 4, 2022 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Thank you all so much for weighing in. I feel good about phrasing my reply and demonstrating that I have taken this feedback seriously. Tact shall return.
posted by The Adventure Begins at 10:33 AM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]