What's the funniest thing anyone's said in response to failure?
June 2, 2022 9:41 PM Subscribe
Someone who has a reputation for doing something exceptionally well, suddenly fails. What's the funniest thing someone has said in that situation?
A line I love when things go unexpectedly catastrophically wrong (not the exact situation you're describing, but similar) is "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
posted by sy at 12:13 AM on June 3, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by sy at 12:13 AM on June 3, 2022 [7 favorites]
I remember some great examples appeared in this classic work.
posted by johngoren at 1:17 AM on June 3, 2022
posted by johngoren at 1:17 AM on June 3, 2022
Said to the failee, or by them?
Not quite what you’re looking for perhaps, but I love, “Failure is just success, rounded down!”
posted by breakfast burrito at 2:22 AM on June 3, 2022
Not quite what you’re looking for perhaps, but I love, “Failure is just success, rounded down!”
posted by breakfast burrito at 2:22 AM on June 3, 2022
Partially out of scope in that there's no known history of excellence: I'm going to need more carrots
posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:56 AM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:56 AM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
Alicia Keys once slipped on stage and fell flat on her butt. Sprawled on the floor, she immediately sang...
I KEEP ON FALLIN’....
posted by nouvelle-personne at 5:32 AM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
I KEEP ON FALLIN’....
posted by nouvelle-personne at 5:32 AM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
“Better people have done worse (things)”
Alternately
“Worse things have happened to better people”
posted by bilabial at 6:07 AM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Alternately
“Worse things have happened to better people”
posted by bilabial at 6:07 AM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
It's not documented anywhere, but I saw a famous, international-prize-winning physics professor completely screw up a very basic linear algebra problem on the blackboard and become utterly befuddled at what went wrong or how to fix it. After two minutes he decided to just give up, turned to the class, and said, "At least now, perhaps, you will not feel too bad when you make mistakes on the exam," and then moved on. (I've stolen that line a few times, without attribution, 'cause I doubt attribution would be appreciated.)
posted by eotvos at 7:19 AM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by eotvos at 7:19 AM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
National Lampoons Vacation, when Clark thinks he is opening a big check but instead gets a membership to the Jelly of the Month club:
Eddie : Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:24 AM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Eddie : Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:24 AM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Magnus Carlsen, the strongest chess player in history and world champion since 2013, unexpectedly lost a tournament game in 2021 to an 18 year old underdog. The tournament was held in person, during the pandemic.
Afterwards he posted this on Twitter:
posted by rollick at 7:29 AM on June 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
Afterwards he posted this on Twitter:
Had a very unpleasant experience at the playing hall today, felt like a swab was being shoved into my nostril and all the way inside my brain, causing a lot of pain. Covid test after the game was not that bad thoughMaybe not the funniest line in the world, but it is a concrete example of what you're looking for.
posted by rollick at 7:29 AM on June 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
Albert Einstein to his students at Princeton: "Do not worry about your difficulties understanding mathematics. I assure you that mine are still greater."
posted by effluvia at 8:19 AM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by effluvia at 8:19 AM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
My favorite quote in the opposite situation -- finding unexpected success after a history of failure -- is from Vitas Gerulaitis when he finally beat Jimmy Connors in a tennis match after a streak of 16 straight losses to him: "And let that be a lesson to you all. Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row!"
posted by rube goldberg at 10:28 AM on June 3, 2022 [20 favorites]
posted by rube goldberg at 10:28 AM on June 3, 2022 [20 favorites]
As seen on Mythbusters, "Failure is always an option."
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:20 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:20 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Slightly different from the requested scenario since it's someone who has a reputation for being very good at one thing failing in a different and unrelated arena, but my first thought was James Acaster's now-famous "started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetit."
posted by babelfish at 4:24 PM on June 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by babelfish at 4:24 PM on June 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
After a really embarrassing thing I did my mom pulled out her classic, "Not your finest moment." I said, "That's a really low bar."
posted by bendy at 7:19 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by bendy at 7:19 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
My sister is very intelligent and good at stuff, but when things went wrong I always liked her response to someone asking "How on earth did you [somehow do this bizarre thing/end up in this situation]?"
"Skill and talent!"
posted by LadyOscar at 9:48 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
"Skill and talent!"
posted by LadyOscar at 9:48 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
“The Aristocrats!”
posted by Etrigan at 10:27 PM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Etrigan at 10:27 PM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Joseph II, Holy Roman Emperor, son of the great Maria Theresia, has an epitaph on his tomb in the Imperial Crypt in Vienna: "Here lies a ruler who, despite his best intentions, was unsuccessful in all of his endeavors".
Is that funny? Well. He was an enlightened despot; some of his endeavors seem more despotic (all in for the empire and centralisation, Germanisation, not very popular with the Hungarians), some of them more enlightened (freeing the serfs, stop persecuting religious minorities, abolishing the death penalty, easing up on the censorship, trying to turn civil service into a meritocracy) or maybe all of them both, history has a messy way of interlinking all sorts of stuff - to my untrained eye, it does seem like he accomplished quite a bit (I mean, the serfs are still free; that has to count for something). Other efforts however...
(My French bestie Celine once found a pamphlet from an obscure Austrian philosopher on a flea market she gave to me as a gag gift for my birthday. We googled the guy; apparently he was trying to be some sort of Austrian Rousseau, who, alas, never really caught on. No wonder, I said, enlightenment failed in Austria, it even says so in the wikipedia article. And then I showed Celine the wikepedia article and she just laughed and laughed and laughed. I also laughed, because Austrians sometimes have a dark sense of humour).
It does seem like Joseph II had a certain, not inaccurate hunch, about the future of his empire. Hence, the epitaph.
So, I think it's a bad look for an Austrian to get sentimental about Habsburgs. Only suckers fall for the propaganda. But if I had to pick a fav...... Joseph II, fair and square. And it's really mostly for that epitaph. I just love this image, his bare, functional tomb it the famous crypt, among the larger-than-life monuments of his relatives, who are pulling out all the stops to dazzle the people, reflect glory and power, cement their legacy, justify the dynasty, strengthen the brand and here's this guy, and he's all like "I failed at everything I tried." How could you not love that?
posted by sohalt at 2:58 AM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
Is that funny? Well. He was an enlightened despot; some of his endeavors seem more despotic (all in for the empire and centralisation, Germanisation, not very popular with the Hungarians), some of them more enlightened (freeing the serfs, stop persecuting religious minorities, abolishing the death penalty, easing up on the censorship, trying to turn civil service into a meritocracy) or maybe all of them both, history has a messy way of interlinking all sorts of stuff - to my untrained eye, it does seem like he accomplished quite a bit (I mean, the serfs are still free; that has to count for something). Other efforts however...
(My French bestie Celine once found a pamphlet from an obscure Austrian philosopher on a flea market she gave to me as a gag gift for my birthday. We googled the guy; apparently he was trying to be some sort of Austrian Rousseau, who, alas, never really caught on. No wonder, I said, enlightenment failed in Austria, it even says so in the wikipedia article. And then I showed Celine the wikepedia article and she just laughed and laughed and laughed. I also laughed, because Austrians sometimes have a dark sense of humour).
It does seem like Joseph II had a certain, not inaccurate hunch, about the future of his empire. Hence, the epitaph.
So, I think it's a bad look for an Austrian to get sentimental about Habsburgs. Only suckers fall for the propaganda. But if I had to pick a fav...... Joseph II, fair and square. And it's really mostly for that epitaph. I just love this image, his bare, functional tomb it the famous crypt, among the larger-than-life monuments of his relatives, who are pulling out all the stops to dazzle the people, reflect glory and power, cement their legacy, justify the dynasty, strengthen the brand and here's this guy, and he's all like "I failed at everything I tried." How could you not love that?
posted by sohalt at 2:58 AM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by nickggully at 11:45 PM on June 2, 2022 [6 favorites]