Fiction Writing Filter: Use of present and Past Tense in story
April 11, 2022 8:11 AM Subscribe
What are some examples of short stories where the author smoothly transitions from the use of past tense to present tense (not in a flashback). I've seen this technique used where the author is in past tense and then sneakily transitions to present tense for an action scene. It makes the scene more vivid. I'm looking for actual examples of this in action to show some fellow writers.
Not a short story, but I can only really remember seeing this in Craig S. Womack's Drowning in Fire. Which is relatively obscure, but if I get the chance to plug it, I always will. This most notably appears toward the beginning, I want to say when the protagonist nearly drowns.
posted by desert outpost at 9:45 AM on April 11, 2022
posted by desert outpost at 9:45 AM on April 11, 2022
Zadie Smith’s On Beauty definitely does this. It’s mostly in the past tense, but Part 2, Chapter 10 starts with quite a jarring shift to the present.
Edit: apologies, just seen that you’re looking for short stories!
posted by Ted Maul at 10:14 AM on April 11, 2022
Edit: apologies, just seen that you’re looking for short stories!
posted by Ted Maul at 10:14 AM on April 11, 2022
I didn't read your question closely. Disregard my suggestion (not a short story, not describing past as present)
posted by latkes at 11:18 AM on April 11, 2022
posted by latkes at 11:18 AM on April 11, 2022
Response by poster: Oh, I found it! But I wonder if other folks have more :) Present tense used at "...leans over the counter..." followed by transition back to past tense.
"I didn't argue with him. But see, I think that's when he got the idea of robbing the store, the cash register sitting there, nobody around but me holding my ice-cream cone. Mr. Deering never came out from the back. The other one, Jim Ray Monks? He wanted a tube of Unguentine, he said, for a heat rash was bothering him, under his arms. I got it for him and he didn't pay either. Then Frank Miller says, 'Let's see what you have in the register.' I told him I didn't know how to open it as I didn't work there. He leans over the counter and points to a key--a man who knows his cash registers--and says, 'That one right there. Hit it and she'll open for you.' I press the key--Mr. Deering must've heard it ring open, he calls from the back of the store, 'Carlos, you able to help them out?' Frank Miller raised his voice, saying, 'Carlos is doing fine,' using my name. He told me then to take out the scrip but leave the change."
"How Carlos Webster changed his name..." - Elmore Leonard
posted by storybored at 4:44 PM on April 11, 2022
"I didn't argue with him. But see, I think that's when he got the idea of robbing the store, the cash register sitting there, nobody around but me holding my ice-cream cone. Mr. Deering never came out from the back. The other one, Jim Ray Monks? He wanted a tube of Unguentine, he said, for a heat rash was bothering him, under his arms. I got it for him and he didn't pay either. Then Frank Miller says, 'Let's see what you have in the register.' I told him I didn't know how to open it as I didn't work there. He leans over the counter and points to a key--a man who knows his cash registers--and says, 'That one right there. Hit it and she'll open for you.' I press the key--Mr. Deering must've heard it ring open, he calls from the back of the store, 'Carlos, you able to help them out?' Frank Miller raised his voice, saying, 'Carlos is doing fine,' using my name. He told me then to take out the scrip but leave the change."
"How Carlos Webster changed his name..." - Elmore Leonard
posted by storybored at 4:44 PM on April 11, 2022
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posted by storybored at 8:12 AM on April 11, 2022