A wedding ring but not ...
January 23, 2022 1:24 PM Subscribe
Not trying to be contrarian, but I don't really love diamonds and wouldn't buy them for myself. I don't love stones period really. I do love gold jewelry though, and own a decent amount. I'm also one of those people who wears the same earrings, necklace, bracelet every day for pretty much my entire life and they are all very special to me. I don't know what to think about wearing a diamond engagement/wedding ring that is just not ... me.
What are my other options? I'd like it to be a special ring. Not necessarily looking for other stones, but maybe where the diamond(s) isn't that prominent but the band is special?
I wear almost exclusively gold jewelry, typically 18k+ (think the very yellow jewelry you find in the Middle East). Mainly minimalist/dainty pieces, but sometimes I can get with ornate or flashy if it's done well :)
Ideas? Either specific rings, designers, or shops you would recommend? Or are there certain styles I should be looking for?
What are my other options? I'd like it to be a special ring. Not necessarily looking for other stones, but maybe where the diamond(s) isn't that prominent but the band is special?
I wear almost exclusively gold jewelry, typically 18k+ (think the very yellow jewelry you find in the Middle East). Mainly minimalist/dainty pieces, but sometimes I can get with ornate or flashy if it's done well :)
Ideas? Either specific rings, designers, or shops you would recommend? Or are there certain styles I should be looking for?
Just being pedantic... All current moissanites are lab-grown. I think what @bbqturtle meant to say at the end is "compared to lab grown diamonds which is 95% the price (of natural diamonds)".
For OP, I'd suggest investigating jewelry stores in different part of town, like Indian jewelry, or Chinese jewelry, or Latino Jewelry (Joyerias), instead of western jewelry stores. They may have different designs for gold rings that may better suit your mood.
posted by kschang at 1:57 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
For OP, I'd suggest investigating jewelry stores in different part of town, like Indian jewelry, or Chinese jewelry, or Latino Jewelry (Joyerias), instead of western jewelry stores. They may have different designs for gold rings that may better suit your mood.
posted by kschang at 1:57 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I got my wedding rings from looking through Etsy shops for one that was able to convince me they were really making the jewelry themselves. That way it felt meaningful, otherwise it wouldn't feel right. Maybe it will also give you some inspiration.
posted by bleep at 1:58 PM on January 23, 2022
posted by bleep at 1:58 PM on January 23, 2022
I think you could keep the tradition of an ornate ring for the engagement and a plainer ring for the wedding band. What about a patterned metal on the engagement ring and a solid ring for the band? By pattern, I am picturing a strong engraving with some color or patina added to accent the dimensions. Perhaps the gold color you like in a heavy braid or twist?
posted by soelo at 2:35 PM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by soelo at 2:35 PM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Nthing just look for something you actually like and want to wear. I've been married almost 30 years, and have a gold wedding ring and gold engagement ring, neither with any stones, both in designs that I personally like. They're very plain, and I'm happy about that.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:36 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:36 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
Digby & Iona have rings with unusual stones and engraved bands.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 2:47 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by TWinbrook8 at 2:47 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
I don't even have an engagement ring because ... so not my style, and we're still happily married. Two gold rings seems more than fine to me.
posted by clew at 2:55 PM on January 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by clew at 2:55 PM on January 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
We went to an estate jeweler and I found a "vintage" ring I really liked with a non-diamond main stone (peridot). I wear this as my wedding ring with no second wedding band/engagement ring. This route was more economical but the choices were a lot more varied. I also like being able to re-use a piece rather than have something created new.
Mr Countrymod had a band created that he likes that is a subtle compliment to my ring.
Which is also to say you can do whatever you like & create whatever symbol is important to you for your marriage.
posted by countrymod at 3:01 PM on January 23, 2022
Mr Countrymod had a band created that he likes that is a subtle compliment to my ring.
Which is also to say you can do whatever you like & create whatever symbol is important to you for your marriage.
posted by countrymod at 3:01 PM on January 23, 2022
If you had a design in mind, you could work with a local goldsmith to create something just for you. If you’re based in the Seattle area, Greenlake Jewelry does good work, and has quite a bit to look at on their website.
I like the jewelry from Audrey Rose and Jennie Kwon Designs. Both tend to be stone, focused, but maybe there’s something that will spark your into.
Searching for signet rings might yield some interesting ideas, as well.
If you like patterned metal, look at mokume gane rings.
posted by Maeve at 3:02 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I like the jewelry from Audrey Rose and Jennie Kwon Designs. Both tend to be stone, focused, but maybe there’s something that will spark your into.
Searching for signet rings might yield some interesting ideas, as well.
If you like patterned metal, look at mokume gane rings.
posted by Maeve at 3:02 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm a just-a-band person. Mr. Dash and I are both much against ... most of the variety of things an engagement ring represents. My band is unique, with a smattering of colored stones in it, along the general lines of this.
posted by Dashy at 3:04 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Dashy at 3:04 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I didn't have an engagement ring. My wedding ring was ammolite as I love rainbows and don't love the ethics around diamonds. Something like this. If you go that route, don't wear it in the shower. It got discolored that way.
I replaced it with a basic sterling band with a Zelda Triforce on it. My approach to jewelry is too low maintenance for another fancy thing. (Ammolite rings can be as fancy or basic as you like though.)
posted by crunchy potato at 3:30 PM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
I replaced it with a basic sterling band with a Zelda Triforce on it. My approach to jewelry is too low maintenance for another fancy thing. (Ammolite rings can be as fancy or basic as you like though.)
posted by crunchy potato at 3:30 PM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
May I suggest well-run local art fairs? If you find a jewelry artist you vibe with, you can open discussion about a custom piece.
posted by humbug at 3:36 PM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by humbug at 3:36 PM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'll be one more vote for "find whatever you like and wear that." My partner has an unadorned gold ring that is subtle and elegant that she loves from a jeweler where we used to live; I don't wear a ring, and neither of us had any interest in a separate engagement ring with sparkles. I know people who wear silicone, wood, or other non-traditional materials. And I've seen some really nice tattoo versions, too.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:48 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Dip Flash at 5:48 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
We decided to get married without a formal proposal and people started asking us where the engagement ring was, which bothered him more than me but we were broke college students. At the state fair we found a booth selling cheap rings, and got one that was a twisted knot of silver that I think cost about $15 in 1992.
For the wedding we had matching rings made in gold with the same twisted knot design, which was cheaper than I expected. We just picked out a store from a newspaper ad (1993 remember) that mentioned doing custom jewelry. They got lots of complements over the years, especially on him as it was an unusual design for a man. I wear them both on a chain around my neck these days.
posted by buildmyworld at 6:26 PM on January 23, 2022
For the wedding we had matching rings made in gold with the same twisted knot design, which was cheaper than I expected. We just picked out a store from a newspaper ad (1993 remember) that mentioned doing custom jewelry. They got lots of complements over the years, especially on him as it was an unusual design for a man. I wear them both on a chain around my neck these days.
posted by buildmyworld at 6:26 PM on January 23, 2022
I wear just a twisted gold band for my wedding ring. I do also have a small moissonite engagement ring, but it spins on my finger in a way I really dislike. I got both on Etsy. I would just look at gold rings, not specifically wedding rings (or maybe just wedding bands) until you see something you really like. A total of zero people has ever commented on my only wearing a slim band.
posted by rawralphadawg at 6:47 PM on January 23, 2022
posted by rawralphadawg at 6:47 PM on January 23, 2022
I don't like engagement rings either, but I think a classic gold wedding band *is* special and beautiful. Personally, I don't think it has to be an unusual design to be special, and the more unusual the design, the more it might look dated to you later.
posted by pinochiette at 8:10 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by pinochiette at 8:10 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm too fat for my various engagement/wedding rings. I wear a simple "comfort fit" platinum band and I am very comfortable wearing it. You can always design something fancier for your 5 or 10.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:18 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Lyn Never at 8:18 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have an opal (my favorite gem) engagement ring that my spouse picked out and bought for me and I love it. But it's not really for everyday wear. My wedding band is very thin, white gold, with some teensy tiny diamonds set inside a pattern that looks like a double helix (I'm a scientist). I picked it out and bought it for myself and I wear it every day. Basically, get something that fits your style and you'll enjoy wearing. It doesn't need to be traditional. I got mine at a standard jewelry store- just told them I was looking for a simple plain-ish band.
posted by emd3737 at 8:46 PM on January 23, 2022
posted by emd3737 at 8:46 PM on January 23, 2022
I also don't love stones in jewelry, and I'm very happy with the engraved band I got! I agree with other posters that you should get something that feels like it matches your style and is meaningful to you (which it sounds like you're planning to do, so that is good!).
For specific shop suggestions: Catbird has a "wedding bands without stones" section. I will also +1 Greenlake Jewelry; they have a wide variety of band styles on their website, and are great to work with if you do find something you like there.
Sorry if this is too basic of a suggestion, but do any of the shops you got your existing rings from have a "wedding" section?
posted by catabananza at 10:40 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
For specific shop suggestions: Catbird has a "wedding bands without stones" section. I will also +1 Greenlake Jewelry; they have a wide variety of band styles on their website, and are great to work with if you do find something you like there.
Sorry if this is too basic of a suggestion, but do any of the shops you got your existing rings from have a "wedding" section?
posted by catabananza at 10:40 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
What are my other options?
We did the rings thing for no better reason than that it was expected, and the day after getting married we put them away in a drawer because both of us were annoyed by how badly they interfered with holding hands. I don't think either of us knows where they are any more.
posted by flabdablet at 11:33 PM on January 23, 2022
We did the rings thing for no better reason than that it was expected, and the day after getting married we put them away in a drawer because both of us were annoyed by how badly they interfered with holding hands. I don't think either of us knows where they are any more.
posted by flabdablet at 11:33 PM on January 23, 2022
I have a very plain wedding band, and a traditional engagement ring. When I was thinking about engagement rings I realised that while I liked plain engagement rings (for example, a channel set eternity ring) it would bother me if, while I was engaged, people mistook my engagement ring for a wedding ring. You may be different.
For a style that's a bit different, how about an all gold Claddagh ring as an engagement ring? Or if you don't like that particular design, perhaps something else with a focal point made of the metal itself.
posted by plonkee at 2:16 AM on January 24, 2022
For a style that's a bit different, how about an all gold Claddagh ring as an engagement ring? Or if you don't like that particular design, perhaps something else with a focal point made of the metal itself.
posted by plonkee at 2:16 AM on January 24, 2022
When I got engaged laughably young my now husband did not have a ring, because it had not entered his mind for one second that a person gets a ring when they propose. It DID enter my mind after I said yes, but I knew this sweet boy did not have thousands of dollars lying around. Also, when I imagined wearing something worth even hundreds of dollars I remembered all the keys, earrings, shoes, etc etc I had lost in my short life and thought to myself I could not be trusted with a diamond.
So I asked him for a ring featuring an inexpensive colored gem because when I let society's expectations fall away, I realized that was actually more beautiful to me.
My point is you can do whatever you want! For whatever reasons! (note: this principle also applies to the rest of wedding stuff and marriage in general)
posted by Jenny'sCricket at 2:20 AM on January 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
So I asked him for a ring featuring an inexpensive colored gem because when I let society's expectations fall away, I realized that was actually more beautiful to me.
My point is you can do whatever you want! For whatever reasons! (note: this principle also applies to the rest of wedding stuff and marriage in general)
posted by Jenny'sCricket at 2:20 AM on January 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
Plain band for me too. I love the practicality for something I wear daily - I don't worry about stones or settings catching on gloves or other things, I don't worry about power tool vibrations loosening settings, and so on. I love that it is very similar to my husband's. And as an absent-minded and anxious person, I love that it is not irreplaceable.
Nobody's ever commented on how fancy it is or isn't.
posted by february at 6:36 AM on January 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
Nobody's ever commented on how fancy it is or isn't.
posted by february at 6:36 AM on January 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
Automic Gold is a queer-run, size-inclusive jewelry maker whom I absolutely adore — they do customs but even something like this simple bar ring might appeal to you if you like dainty, never-take-off jewelry (it can even be engraved).
I also love Catbird, as catabanaza mentioned.
And I think these bands from Alexis Russell with gem-shaped cutouts are really cool too. Lots and lots of other unique options on that website.
posted by Brittanie at 6:51 AM on January 24, 2022
I also love Catbird, as catabanaza mentioned.
And I think these bands from Alexis Russell with gem-shaped cutouts are really cool too. Lots and lots of other unique options on that website.
posted by Brittanie at 6:51 AM on January 24, 2022
I lucked into a family ring that worked, but lacking that, I would have gone for a cool rock of a pretty but less expensive and baggage-laden stone like garnet or peridot, with some artistic inclusions or 'flaws'. These are often larger and can read almost like a geological specimen. Maybe this is different enough from traditional gemstone rings that you may like it?
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:21 AM on January 24, 2022
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:21 AM on January 24, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
At the end of the day, it really depends on your preferences and styles. I ended up using a ceramic ring because I think it's most practical, but sometimes I wish my ring had more "emotional weight" to it. I see no reason not to get something custom made that you feel just as custom and special as a tattoo.
If you do use diamonds, I highly recommend moissanite. Especially from "moissanite supply co". They are just as hard, always perfect quality, extra sparkly, and 20% the price (compared to lab grown which is 95% the price).
posted by bbqturtle at 1:30 PM on January 23, 2022