Help me find someone to hold my hand through beginners exercises

May 18, 2021 3:49 PM

How do I even go about finding someone to design a "starts from zero" movement/ exercise program for me, and then coach me through it?

I weigh almost 300 lbs, and struggle to apply the skills that have made me successful elsewhere in life to getting healthy and fit. I'm a smart woman, who's been through the weight loss/ gain cycle a bazillion times now. I could sit down and plan out individual and incremental steps for each week for nutrition and weight loss. But ... I'm in my late 30s, and have been steadily gaining weight my entire life, and obviously have not found the formula that works for me.

This time around, I talked to my doctor about it, who suggested a three-pronged approach of medication, nutrition, and fitness. She was able to make a recommendation for a nutritionist, but not for the fitness portion, except to advise a slow and gradual start.

Yes, I could figure this out myself, but I am tired and I don't want to devote any more brain space to this than I have to. I'd like a "start from zero" movement program that takes me from the couch to "walk 15 minutes 3x/ week" to "oh wow, asnowballschance is a fit and active person." In VERY slow incremental steps. With lots of coaching and tough love (like a daily check in? I don't even know!).

Looking for personal trainers seems to net an awful lot of hucksters. How do I find someone what meets this kind of specific "start from zero and needs lots of handholding" need? Is there some other search term I should be using to figure this out?

posted by asnowballschance to Health & Fitness (20 answers total)

Therapists do this sort of stuff all the time. I'm not sure I have advice for finding the best one for your situation, but slowly building self-care habits, including exercise, up from zero is some of the foundational stuff any good therapist will do. I would recommend seeing a psychologist over one of the master's level licenses (LCSW, LCMHC, etc.) as they are more likely to focus on actionable goals than "supportive listening." If your only goal is "be more active" and not "target specific muscles/ types of exercise" then all you need is a behavioral clinician--not saying a personal trainer can't help (I assume they do a lot of behavioral stuff), but if you want something less hucksterish, therapy is an option.
posted by brook horse at 3:58 PM on May 18, 2021

Consider looking for the personal trainers associated with a community organization, one you may have to join, like the YMCA/JCC or a town or regional group. In my experience the fitness classes and activities attract a wider range of ages and abilities versus GYM CORP.
posted by cobaltnine at 3:58 PM on May 18, 2021 [3 favorites]

Every gym I've ever signed up for offers one or two personal training sessions for free with membership to get oriented. I would join a gym (covid permitting), take advantage of those free sessions, and then pay for more sessions, maybe one a week for a while.

If you don't feel comfortable going to the gym, call the gym you WOULD join--the most local gym with classes that seem oriented toward your interests--and tell them you're looking for a personal trainer for a very beginner. They will at least have a list of reputable trainers, and probably an idea of who might specialize in beginners.
posted by gideonfrog at 4:28 PM on May 18, 2021 [1 favorite]

Try the SuperFit Hero trainer finder. Trainers associated are into "Body Positive Fitness" which you can learn more about on the site.
posted by Medieval Maven at 5:06 PM on May 18, 2021

This was on the blue earlier! I'm already working on pushups, and this kid is great.
posted by cyndigo at 5:10 PM on May 18, 2021 [4 favorites]

The Couch to 5k in 9 weeks running program. There are apps.
There was a fitness group people were sharing on MeFi, I can't remember the name.
Find out which gym in your area is least sexist, most welcoming to out-of-shape women. see if there's a group that walks together. Or find a time, put on headphones and good music, and start with exercise bike and treadmill and a little bit of lifting.
Adult Ed. in my area is not in person yet, but their fitness classes are usually really supportive.
Your health insurance may have some fitness options.
I'm way out of condition; my dance group just started up again, and it's my major exercise activity. Music really helps me move, dancing with people is so terrific; I've missed it so much.
posted by theora55 at 5:15 PM on May 18, 2021

I take Zoom classes with Lorna and she has been helping me build strength with a broken leg. I can only say great things about her patience, gentleness and care. I have not been in your position, exactly, but you might want to ask . Wilson’s Workouts
posted by frumiousb at 5:37 PM on May 18, 2021 [1 favorite]

You might want to look up a physiotherapist instead of a personal trainer. I've honestly never had a bad experience with a physiotherapist and they tend to be very realistic about easing folks into movements/activities (YMMV of course).

Once you've gotten yourself to a level of walking 15 mins 3x/week, you could also try None to Run which is even more gradual than C25K. It also includes strength and mobility exercises, and a pretty robust community to help keep you accountable and motivated.
posted by thebots at 5:56 PM on May 18, 2021 [3 favorites]

If you like the nutritionist you see, ask them for recommendations for a personal trainer or physical therapist- chances are they’ve worked with people in your position before and probably have some good recommendations.
posted by MadamM at 6:01 PM on May 18, 2021 [1 favorite]

There are some great recommendations here to work with (MeFites are the best)! If you're near Northern VA and looking for a low-stakes accountability pal, I can lend a hand. A friend of mine and I have benefitted greatly over the past couple of months from regular check-ins and encouragement. I've gone from being an actual sofa cushion to regularly walking up and down the stairs - a huge improvement that wouldn't have been imaginable a few short months ago. (Srsly. The pandemic crushed my fledgling self-care bones.) You can find my email address in my profile, and it would be great to hear from you.
posted by Jaqi at 6:25 PM on May 18, 2021

I am happy to give you the name of my personal trainer. She is nice, very thoughtful about limitations, and works over Skype. MeMail me if you are interested!
posted by prefpara at 6:40 PM on May 18, 2021

Maybe consider seeing an exercise physiologist? They will have a deep understanding of anatomy and physiology as well as the clinical skills to help you adapt to exercise gradually without injury. And can definitely write you a graduated program!
They should also be OK to work as part of a team with your doctor and nutritionist, as well as a physiotherapist if you need or want that kind of collaboration/communication. This is what did at 200lb and it was the best decision I ever made for my health. Like to find a practitioner near you here: https://www.asep.org/
posted by t0astie at 10:40 PM on May 18, 2021

I recommended Justin Agustin on the thread referenced above. He has lots of free videos on his various social media channels, and also a paid “absolute beginner” training course on his website.
posted by Nickel at 12:09 AM on May 19, 2021 [2 favorites]

I'd advise against going into a Couch to 5K programme at this point - if you've been very inactive, you should start out with lots of walking. Once you can walk briskly (at a pace where you feel slightly short of breath and a little warm) for 30 minutes, the usual advice is that you're then about in the right place to start Couch to 5K. However, YMMV, everyone is different and having a heavier frame can put more impact through your joints, so you might want to continue walking for a while longer. And the 30 min rule is not universal - again, if you're carrying more weight with every step, you'll feel short of breath/warm sooner and that might not necessarily signal that your joints are ready to move to running.

The organisation I work for has a 'Walk for Fitness' programme that uses similar principles to Couch to 5K, but builds you up gradually to 30 mins of brisk walking. A C25K alternates between short intervals of jogging and walking to catch your breath. Our programme does the same kind of thing but alternates between brisk walking and slow walking.

It's a bit self-linky and I generally keep bit of a gap between my MeFi and work lives but I'll MeMail you the link in case it's of interest. It's pretty brainless - just do the same thing three times a week, next week change to the next week's programme and repeat. Then you could just extend the length of your walk every week. We do also have a Learn to Run programme that builds at half the speed of most C25K - you spend 10 weeks getting to 15 mins continuous jogging, and another 10 weeks getting up to 30 minutes.

Sorry, that's not quite in line with your request for an actual person to guide you through, but just in response to suggestions that you start C25K - I work in this field and suggest that might be a bit down the line for you.
posted by penguin pie at 5:27 AM on May 19, 2021 [1 favorite]

I agree with everyone who's suggested physiotherapist/physical therapists/exercise physiologists or personal recommendations - you might also check for trainers who specify a HAES approach. You might well get lucky with a gym trainer, but I wouldn't risk it if you have the resources to get the right help, because it's super discouraging to experience when they're just a terrible fit.

I'm fat and I run. One of the most useful things in terms of understanding my body and movement was taking small group classes in a studio that did reformer pilates and barre, because I got really specific directions where they corrected me and I could feel it and I could see myself in the mirror - things like "drop your hip - no, that was your leg, drop in the socket, like that." They also have the ability to offer modifications where needed, and sometimes fat bodies have different needs and capabilities where just trying to make the thin body shape is not achieving the same result (like yoga poses where having a tummy means suffocating yourself).

If you go to an in-person practitioner, you can start with what you want and get the corrections and advice to prevent injury and gain confidence about how you can move your body, and you'll probably start to feel what makes exercise relatively enjoyable for you (is it music? mastering a move? the calm that comes afterwards? freedom? getting stronger? being outdoors), and you can then move on to the next thing - you're not stuck with the first type of exercise forever, and your body will benefit from everything you learn.

Specifically for yoga, I find Jessamyn Stanley's Every Body Yoga book really helpful for modifications and I like her attitude.
posted by carbide at 5:27 AM on May 19, 2021 [2 favorites]

Also, seconding penguin pie, I think C25k might not be a good first step unless you had your heart really set on running only, which doesn't sound like the case.
posted by carbide at 5:29 AM on May 19, 2021

You could also keep an eye on TrainWithJoan on Instagram. She's in her 70s, went from doing zero exercise to being really fit, and is soon to launch an app with exercise programmes for everyone including absolute beginners - more on that in this Insta post.
posted by penguin pie at 5:40 AM on May 19, 2021

If you're in SW Michigan message me and I can send you the name of my amazing trainer who has been doing exactly this with me since 2017 (with a break for covid for a while).
posted by misanthropicsarah at 6:46 AM on May 19, 2021

Find a local CrossFit gym that uses Level Method and is willing to work from level white. Level method is like belts in marital arts, it is how you scale the workout to your fitness level. Your overall level is determined by individual levels which can be higher or lower. For example, the running test; far up the colour scale it might be run a mile in ten minutes. But white level 1 is “walk 200 yards without stopping”, the next progression is walk 400 yards without stopping. When you can shufflejog 200 yards you get a yellow level, and so on. I know CrossFit has a reputation as being for meatheads but as a very unfit menopausal woman I’ve been enjoying exercise for for first time in forever. I promise you that you won’t be all white levels, you’ll be surprised at where you are strong.
posted by J.R. Hartley at 1:12 PM on May 19, 2021

You are asking for the sort of rehabilitative training that physical therapists do. Physical therapist help people come back from injuries, surgeries like hip replacement, and de-conditioning from inactivity and overweight. You may qualify to have your medical insurance pay for the physical therapist.

One of the least likely to cause injury physical therapies is warm pool exercises. The water takes some of the weight off your joints, so progress is easier. This is not swimming, although I suppose you could swim if you wanted. This is physical therapy in the pool. The water is kept warmer than a regular pool. I wouldn't say getting in a pool with your physical therapist is and easy thing to do, what with getting a bathing suit, going there, showering after, getting home, etc., but it is total handholding because you do all the exercises there, in the pool with the physical therapist.
posted by KayQuestions at 6:04 PM on May 19, 2021