What can I do to stay off social media?

March 2, 2021 7:54 PM

So, I think I've been spending too much time on Reddit. Time and again I've left and gone back, but I can't seem to leave permanently. I really don't like the site, though and almost always end up leaving because of its toxicity.

However, I feel that if I don't replace it I'm just going to end up going back. I don't want to, and I want to make my exit permanent this time. I don't like other social media either, I feel it's just addictive. I don't like posting on the internet under my real name and I'm honestly not a fan of broadcasting my personal life for everyone to see.

So, I hope someone can help me out.

posted by Tarsonis10 to Computers & Internet (14 answers total)

I can't help with Reddit, but the way I finally nuked Facebook from my life was by manually unfollowing everyone on my friends list and all of my liked pages/groups.

Not unfriending -- unfollowing. So I'm still friends with everyone and I can see their profiles when I go to the page directly, but my newsfeed is completely empty. It lets me keep the convenient aspects of Facebook in my life while eliminating the mindless newsfeed scrolling. And it works on every machine, and it's extremely time-consuming to undo so there's no danger of me going back in a moment of weakness.

I haven't found an equivalent way to nuke other social networks though.
posted by mekily at 7:58 PM on March 2, 2021 [8 favorites]

I left several social media sites in December 2017. Though I am now back on a few of them for work reasons, I have a MUCH healthier relationship with how I use social now. Here's how I did it.

1. Deleted all apps from my mobile devices, and used Freedom.io to block them form my desktop
2. Replaces the "timekill" of social media on my phone with something else. For me, it was the NYT Crossword app, which gives me that same endorphin ping when I finish a puzzle, but without the toxic social media/sharing aspect. Your might need to fid another app, like pocket for reading magazine articles or a game or something.
3. I also took up (or re-discovered, in my case) a non-internet hobby that required the use of my hands so that I couldn't be surfing the internet all the time. After a 10-year hiatus, I started knitting again. This is SO RELAXING and so fulfilling because I have a tangible object that shows the efforts of my labor. I knit while watching trash like 90-day fiance and drag race and listening to true crime podcasts, so my mind is still getting that gossipy/mindless break it needs but in the long run I am being much more productive with my time.
posted by Brittanie at 8:06 PM on March 2, 2021 [8 favorites]

I would try to read a book, ebook is fine. You may learn something... or not.

If I want a few chuckles, I get on Youtube and watch/listen to one of those "read Reddit out loud" channels like Ripe, Mr. Reddit, StoryTIme, Redwheel, and so on. But usually my YT shows more interesting channels (at least to me) like Forgotten Weapons (firearms history), Drachnifel (naval history), The Chieftain (Armor warfare), and so on.
posted by kschang at 10:20 PM on March 2, 2021

Best answer: Yeah, you should identify what exactly you get out of Reddit in order to know what to replace it with.

Esoteric/niche interest or knowledge? There's probably a youtube community about it, plus there's always books.

Snark/gossip? Again, youtube has this by the bucket load.

Dopamine-inducing mindless scrolling/funny videos/dumb humour/dank memes? Can't really help you there on what an alternative might be, but perhaps it's ok to indulge in a bit of that once in a while?
Especially in the pandemic I'm permitting myself to indulge in this kind of thing, as long as there's a limit. The SelfControl app is so useful- I can give myself say an hour on the kinds of mindless brainrot that meets this need, and then literally cannot get any more after that, forcing me to spend time on something actually fulfilling like getting offline :)
posted by Balthamos at 3:14 AM on March 3, 2021 [2 favorites]

I deleted facebook and signed up for ancestry.com. It's easy to work on in very small chunks (so instead of five minutes of doomscrolling, I spend five minutes reviewing "hints" about my great uncle). I can work on it while conversing with my partner on the couch, while we are watching TV, etc, so the behavior of sitting with a screen hasn't changed. Ancestry been fascinating. There's a lot you can do for free, and our local library has a special deal with them for additional access due to covid, so you likely don't need to purchase a membership.
posted by avocado_of_merriment at 6:21 AM on March 3, 2021 [1 favorite]

On Windows, I'll sometimes block myself from visiting certain sites by editing the hosts file:

Type "notepad" into windows taskbar.
When you see the notepad icon under Apps, right-click it and choose "Run as Administrator"
Open the file C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc\hosts (you may need to tell notepad to show all files instead of just *.txt)
Add these lines to the bottom of the file and save:

127.0.0.1 reddit.com
127.0.0.1 www.reddit.com

This tells Windows that reddit is hosted on your own computer, which it isn't, so any attempt to visit the site will fail. You can do the same thing with any website.
posted by justkevin at 7:04 AM on March 3, 2021 [2 favorites]

Figure out what you are getting from Reddit and why you log on. Maybe you are looking to check in with humans and people you know. Maybe you are tired and it is something mindless to read. Maybe you are cranky and if you read Reddit you will get to express and have a focus for your annoyance instead of it hanging around nebulously.

Whatever it is that you are looking for, find another source for it. If you are logging in to check the status of your friends and social groups find a different social group to belong to, or work on training your friends to chat via a messaging system or e-mails or in a non toxic dedicated group.

If you are looking for something mindless to read, read Wikipedia, or TV tropes.

If you are cranky and wish to indulge in disgust and indignation, look for a place where you can do that.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:21 AM on March 3, 2021

I recently had to do some simple but absorbing manual labor (cutting back blackberry vines and mending wire fences) which required me to wear close-fitting heavy leather gloves, which meant I couldn't use my phone to doomscroll as usual, and at the end of the day I felt sooo much better for not pumping in poison through my eyeballs. If you can do something physical, productive (not just exercise; pulling weeds or stacking firewood or something that gets a result you can see) with heavy gloves, I heartily recommend it.
posted by The otter lady at 9:00 AM on March 3, 2021 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: PS. What I get is just distraction at this point. Just go into certain political subreddits, which I thought to be conducive towards something, but really they're not. Reddit kind of always ends the same, a bunch of people yelling like maniacs, and me fighting with them because I think they don't know what they're saying. It's neither good for me nor for them.

Seems like I'm just going there to pick fights to be honest. For what purpose? I don't really know.
posted by Tarsonis10 at 9:10 AM on March 3, 2021 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I'm not saying this is a 100% cure but something that helps, for me, is https://freedom.to/ . I set it to block certain sites during my work day with a break for lunch. Obviously, I'm still clicking around, but it at least breaks up the urge, if that makes sense? It pops up a lil screen that says "you are free!" and half the time I sigh and say thank you. I'm sure there's a no-cost way to do this, but I appreciate the way it is set up.
posted by fillsthepews at 10:32 AM on March 3, 2021

Best answer: Reddit has been used as an attack vector for state-sponsored provocateurs. So, in knowing this, I don't want to play along with the game. I don't need to add to conversation that has been started to destabilize democracies. Just knowing that they exist is enough. I decided that it is not in my best interest to change anyone's mind. I work on local issues. Things that *matter* to me and my family. I just stick to a few subs that I know, are well moderated and non toxic.

I realized, after the US election, that I was only adding vitriol to twitter. I was incredibly angry and angry at twitter for allowing so many terrible things on their platform. I got banned by posting "Lying and lying and lying and lying...." as a comment to a Trump disinformation post. Banned. I thought, well, I'm telling the truth and I just got banned. That seems wrong. So I remained off the platform for a good while. I'd reach for my phone, reflexively, which was illuminating to me.

Social media, if it were a parking garage, would say "You chose to park here. Your fault you were robbed. We will take no steps that decrease our profits, for your safety."

Get out for a while. See how you react. Do you ache to go back? If so, you may consider that these sites are happy you feel that way.
posted by zerobyproxy at 11:52 AM on March 3, 2021 [6 favorites]

I quit Facebook cold turkey six or seven years ago and don't miss it. Twitter, however...well, I don't like Twitter too much, but I like a lot of the people I follow. So I get their tweets via FeedBin, an RSS service that also lets you get newsletters out of your inbox as well as RSS feeds. I keep my Twitter account because it's easy to click and get into the original tweet to see a thread, etc.

The best part is that I can pick and choose whose messages to read, without the clutter of the timeline or ads. Twitter is still there if I want it, but I haven't actually been on Twitter (except to view specific threads, as above) for months.

I have no answer for Reddit, except that I have a very carefully curated group of subreddits I follow.
posted by lhauser at 4:27 PM on March 3, 2021 [1 favorite]

Quitting a habit cold turkey has always been an uphill battle for me, personally. Would you consider a stopgap measure of browsing while logged out to help you wean off it?

If the main time sink for you is getting involved in long, back-and-forth arguments, then make it so every time you get the urge, you need to take the time to manually log in (including typing out your username and password). Log out after commenting what you wanted to say. Remove the app from your phone, if you have it installed.

I agree with adding more offline replacements, like an e-reader without an internet browser (or physical books), or a hobby that uses your hands, etc. The latter is especially good to pair up with podcasts or audiobooks.
posted by lesser weasel at 9:40 PM on March 3, 2021

Tumblr is my gold standard distraction scrolling at this point. I've followed mostly art and history blogs, as well as some gaming ones. The system there actively discourages any real conversation - you can have it if you want, but you gotta work at it.

Mostly I use it to look at pretty pictures and comics.
posted by Jilder at 10:18 PM on March 3, 2021